In the past decade, parents have heard much about our childrens' need for high self-esteem. Of course parents want happy and confident kids. What could be better?

As concerned parents, we work hard to help our children become assured. We listen to them, praise them and speak positively to them. We provide them with structure, guidelines and responsibility; a framework to help them feel secure. We drive them to piano, soccer, ballet, art, and baseball to help them develop talents and skills so they can be confident in their own abilities. We help them with school so they feel good about their academic performance. Motivated by love, our efforts help them to develop in healthy ways.

But in our great work, have we missed the simple truths of developing self-esteem? Have we shared with them the secrets that offer greater power, infinite confidence in purpose, and immeasurable joy?

When we give our children the knowledge of who they are, why they are on Earth and where they are going, we give them so much more than a “Way to go!” This knowledge is the true foundation to building a healthy self-esteem.

Who They Are

In famous words by Paul the apostle, we learn who our children are. He declared that we are all children of God. Acts 17:28-29

Modern leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, referred to as the Mormons, have repeated these words in The Family: A Proclamation to the World:

"All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.”

Consider this amazing statement. To be a child of God means that we are eternally significant. It means we have divine heritage. Knowing we are children of a Father in Heaven gives our lives purpose and direction. We have heavenly potential and are dearly loved. Could there be a more powerful message of love, hope and expectation for our children?

Why They Are Here

Our children have an important mission while here on Earth. They are here to learn, progress and prepare to meet God.

"For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors."( Alma 34: 32-33)

Our Father in Heaven sent His Son, Jesus Christ, as the example to follow. The life of the Savior was one of service. He “went about doing good.” (Acts 10:38.)

The talents and skills that our children learn can give them confidence and can be personally enjoyable. A greater purpose in having them is to serve others as Christ did.

Our children can play the piano in a church service, cook meals for a family with a new baby, perform a dance to bring smiles to the elderly in a rest home. Our children can use their abilities to do good in their family, their school, their neighborhood and their future professions. Service for others builds self-esteem. When children serve others, they serve God and work toward achieving their divine potential. (Mosiah 2:17)

Where They Are Going

Our children can know that they can live eternally with their Father in Heaven when this life is over. This is our Father and Jesus Christ's objective. “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39)

Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can return to live with Him if we strive to keep His commandments and take opportunity to repent when we make mistakes. (Jacob 6:11)

When our children know where they are going, their purposes are sure, their objectives are clear and their potential unmatched – to be joint-heirs with Christ. Again, in the words of Paul the apostle:

“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.” (Romans 8:16-17)

When our children know who they are, why they are here and where they are going, they can be confident - they are children of God. They can be happy - their life has a plan. They can be empowered - they can return triumphant to their Heavenly Father having reached their potential. Now what could be better than that?

Where many in the world have the power and authority to marry a couple in the eyes of the law, and even the eyes of God, till death do them part, there are only a few who have the power and authority to marry a couple for time and all eternity. Likewise, where the first sort of marriage previously stated may be preformed anywhere, the second sort can only be preformed in a Temple of God by one who has been given the authority to do so (a Sealer). This is the same authority that Christ gave to his apostles.

"And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." Matthew 16:19

Temples are not only created for the purpose of performing this work for the living, but also for the dead. We do so by standing in as proxy for them. Once the work has been done for someone who has passed on, they have the ability to accept or reject it. I know that the work that transpires within the Temples of God is holy and right. It is sacred, which is why it is not often discussed in detail outside those dedicated walls. I am so thankful for temples and those who work within them. Without that work, families would not have the ability to be sealed, to live together for the eternities.

There are many who have already passed on who are waiting for this work to be done in their behalf. They pray that the hearts of the children, as spoken by Malachi of old, (Malachi 4:6) will be turned to the fathers to do this work and bind the generations together. Otherwise, the whole Earth would be wasted, or our lives upon it.

Though I have not been married or sealed in the temple myself, I have been greatly blessed with the opportunity to go in behalf of others. Before my mission I was able to go, with my family's ward. It was such a wonderful experience to be able to stand in as proxy for many of my friend's ancestors while their families were sealed together for time and all eternity. Likewise, since my return from serving a mission, I have been blessed with the opportunity to go to the temple and do sealings, very regularly.

When I do sealings in the temple for the deceased, I am reminded once more of the power of the sealing ordinance. I am filled with joy in the knowledge that another family is reunited and sealed as it were (if that is their wish). I find that I am renewed with hope, for the day when I will be able to be in that holy place with my future husband, to be sealed together for time and all eternity. To know that my marriage will not be 'til death do us part, but for time and all eternity means more than I can say. I am filled with power and confidence to face life's trials when I know that all the children I will someday have will be bound to me and my husband (as long as we remain righteous), and that we will be bound to God. I am strengthened in my desire to remain worthy, and reminded of how to do so.

Part of our purpose in life is to gain control over our physical bodies. One way in which we can do so is by regular fasting.

Let’s be honest: Fasting can be torture. Anyone who has faced the prospect of going 24 hours without food or drink knows how suddenly obsessive you can become over something as mundane as eating and drinking. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) are expected to fast every first Sunday of the month, in addition to special fasts they may hold in times of special spiritual need. It is important to note that those with special considerations are exempted from fasting. These include small children, pregnant or nursing women, and those with prohibitive medical conditions.

Religious fasting is different from other kinds of fasting in that the intended benefits are more spiritual than physical. It is an opportunity to set aside temporal concerns (like fixing meals) as well as selfish concerns (like satisfying one’s palate) to focus more on spiritual concerns (like helping those in need). A religious fast should have a specific purpose, whether it is a petition for a desired blessing or to express profound gratitude. A proper fast open and closes with a prayer, and is characterized by increased prayerfulness through out the fasting period.

The reason for a fast is as personal as the individual who is fasting. Carl B. Pratt offered the following thoughts on the different purposes for which we might fast:

“The purpose of our fast may be a very personal one. Fasting can help us overcome personal flaws and sins. It can help us overcome our weaknesses—help them become strengths. Fasting can help us become more humble, less prideful, less selfish, and more concerned about the needs of others. It can help us see more clearly our own mistakes and weaknesses and help us be less prone to criticize others. Or our fast may have a focus on a family challenge. A family fast might help increase love and appreciation among family members and reduce the amount of contention in the family, or we might fast as a couple to strengthen our marriage bonds. A purpose of our fast might be to seek the Lord’s guidance in our callings, as President Hinckley has demonstrated, or we might fast with our home or visiting teaching companion to know how to help one of our families.”
((“The Blessings of a Proper Fast,” Ensign, Nov 2004, 47))

I remember an experience when fasting took on special meaning for me. As a junior in college I looked forward to weekly emails from my brother in South Korea. He was serving as a full-time missionary and having tremendous experiences despite being fairly new and learning the language. Then we received news that he’d been assigned to serve in a deaf congregation. Still struggling to learn spoken Korean, having to learn Korean sign left my brother feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. Over the next few weeks his morale continued to wane.

Finally he expressed in an email he was reaching a breaking point. He didn’t see how he could continue when he was making little progress in either the spoken or sign language. I did the only thing I could think to do. I called my parents back home and asked them to fast the following day with me. Our purpose was to petition the Lord to intervene in my brother’s behalf, to help him not be so discouraged and to be able to continue his mission.

Now, admittedly, I am one of the world’s biggest wimps when it comes to fasting. But this time it was different. I was so anxious to see my brother overcome this uncharacteristic depression that for once I had little trouble ignoring my stomach. Whenever a usual meal time rolled around, I remembered why I wasn’t eating and prayed for my brother. I felt fortified knowing my parents, who also weren’t accustomed to fasting a full 24 hours, were doing the same thing. With a focused purpose, the fast was more than manageable; it became a very positive and memorable experience.

My brother’s email the following day was in complete contrast to the last few we’d received. He had been reassigned, was back to learning just spoken Korean, and was more enthusiastic about the work than ever. I admit this wasn’t the kind of answer I was expecting, but it was the right thing for my brother, and he completed his mission successfully and had many wonderful experiences along the way.

Fasting really is a blessing, though at first it might no seem like it. Having a purpose makes a tremendous difference on what we gain from our fast, as well as what it accomplishes for others. For additional insight on the benefits of Mormon fasting, see Ali Cross’s terrific blog, The Joy of Fasting.

Some people believe in destiny, others believe that everything is a matter of chance, I believe in foreordination. I believe that we were each called to do a specific work in our lives, our own personal missions to move forward the work of the Lord. (Of course, this foreordination is still subject to our agency, or the choices we make. If we fail to qualify, by our choices, for the missions we were called to do, then another will be chosen to do so in our place. For God’s work will not be frustrated. Although, I cannot help but think that no one could fulfill your mission like you could.)

With this in mind, I could not help but wonder, whenever I thought of the vast ages of the world, (and all the people who have been born to them) of why I was chosen to live now, in this age. (For timing is very important in fulfilling our missions.) As I said, I do not believe that it is mere random coincidence that places us in the exact time and place to which we are born. I know there is a purpose.

Not too many years ago the then current Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Ezra Taft Benson addressed this when he taught,

“God has held you in reserve to make your appearance in the final days before the second coming of the Lord. Some individuals will fall away; but the kingdom of God will remain intact to welcome the return of its head--even Jesus Christ. While our generation will be comparable in wickedness to the days of Noah, when the Lord cleansed the earth by flood, there is a major difference this time. It is that God has saved for the final inning some of His strongest children, who will help bear off the kingdom triumphantly. . . . Make no mistake about it--you are a marked generation. There has never been more expected of the faithful in such a short period of time than there is of us.” Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [1988], pp. 104-5

We are told that we were held in reserve for this time. We are told that there is much expected of us. In more recent years, Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the twelve Apostles said,

“You are one of God’s noble and great spirits, held in reserve to come to earth at this time. (See Doctrine and Covenants 86:8-11.) In your premortal life you were appointed to help prepare the world for the great gathering of souls that will precede the Lord’s second coming. You are one of a covenant people. You are an heir to the promise that all the earth will be blessed by the seed of Abraham and that God’s covenant with Abraham will be fulfilled through his lineage in these latter days." (See 1 Nephi 15:18; 3 Nephi 20:25.)” November 1990, Choices, Elder Russell M. Nelson

Here we learn that we were appointed in our premortal life to prepare the way of the Lord. Yet how can anyone fulfill their missions if they do not know what they are? The Lord understands this dilemma. Which is why he has prepared many ways for us to discover our missions.

1) We have Patriarchal Blessings.
2) Priesthood Blessings.
3) Personal Revelation from the Spirit.
4) The teachings of the Scriptures.

Seeking out and fulfilling your mission is a process that takes a lifetime. This process requires faith, patience, and the willingness to submit to the will of the Lord. As a warning, never expect the Lord to just lay out every little detail before you. That is not His way. We are told in the scriptures that He will give us line upon line, and precept upon precept.

This is not something to put off until one is old, and has nothing else to do. Our missions often span the course of our lifetime. Which mean we must seek Him early and often to fulfill all He has called on us to do. When we do so, though life will most likely turn out different then planned, it will be more fulfilling, joyful, and in the end we will have little if any regrets (none of which will come from doing the will of God).

As Primary children in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we learn to “choose the right” so that we might live happily. The hymn says:

Choose the right when a choice is placed before you.
In the right the Holy Spirit guides;
And its light is forever shining o’er you,
When in the right your heart confides.

[Chorus]
Choose the right! Choose the right!
Let wisdom mark the way before.
In its light, choose the right!
And God will bless you evermore.

Choose the right! Let no spirit of digression
Overcome you in the evil hour.
There’s the right and the wrong to ev’ry question;
Be safe thru inspiration’s pow’r.

[Chorus]

Choose the right! There is peace in righteous doing.
Choose the right! There’s safety for the soul.
Choose the right in all labors you’re pursuing;
Let God and heaven be your goal.

[Chorus]

LDS Hymns #239

Like the hymn says, if we choose the right, we will have peace and God will bless us evermore. Lehi, a Book of Mormon prophet, said, “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Ne. 2:25.) Our Father in Heaven not only wants us to have joy, but He has shown us the way.

Of the several things we can do to ensure our happiness, immersing ourselves in a relationship with Heavenly Father through daily and constant prayer is first and foremost. The Doctrine and Covenants, a collection of modern day religion, teaches, “Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work” (D&C 10:5.)

When you pray always, you will be worthy of the Comforter who can grant you “inspirations power” as the hymn says, and be strengthened to choose the right in every choice placed before you. The Apostle Paul taught protection from the temptations of the world:
“Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil” (Eph. 6:10-13.)

Each morning, pray so that you may be clothed in the armor of God as you go through your day. The Comforter will enlighten your mind and through your conscience speak to you of what you should do in every choice you face. Keep a prayer in your heart always so that you might always remember who you are and have a desire to live up to the standards worthy of a child of God.

I add my hope and prayer for you to these words by N. Eldon Tanner:

“Put on the whole armor of God. With faith in him and with righteousness directing your actions, you cannot fail and you cannot help but be happy. There is no happiness mirrored in the faces of those who are creating the disturbances in our troubled world, but those who are doing what they know is right are happily going on their way and making progress. My hope for you is that you will have joy unspeakable here and eternal happiness hereafter” (“These Things I Have Learned,” New Era, Mar 1971, 2.)

I ran across this prayer given by President Gordon B. Hinckley today and thought it was particularly timely after Super Tuesday last week. I served as a poll worker all day and will share some of my thoughts about that experience with you in a separate post. Getting out to vote is a simple way to have your voice be heard. The Twelfth Article of Faith reminds us to be active in our communities.

"O God, our Eternal Father, Thou great Judge of the Nations, Thou who art the governor of the universe, Thou who art our Father and our God, whose children we are, we look to Thee in faith in this dark and solemn time. Please, dear Father, bless us with faith. Bless us with love. Bless us with charity in our hearts. Bless us with a spirit of perseverance to root out the terrible evils that are in this world.

"Give protection and guidance to those who are engaged actively in carrying forth the things of battle. Bless them; preserve their lives; save them from harm and evil. Hear the prayers of their loved ones for their safety. We pray for the great democracies of the earth which Thou hast overseen in creating their governments, where peace and liberty and democratic processes obtain.

"O Father, look with mercy upon this, our own nation, and its friends in this time of need. Spare us and help us to walk with faith ever in Thee and ever in Thy Beloved Son, on whose mercy we count and to whom we look as our Savior and our Lord. Bless the cause of peace and bring it quickly to us again, we humbly plead with Thee, asking that Thou wilt forgive our arrogance, pass by our sins, be kind and gracious to us, and cause our hearts to turn with love toward Thee. We humbly pray in the name of Him who loves us all, even the Lord Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and our Savior, amen" ("Till We Meet Again," Liahona, Jan. 2002, 105; Ensign, Nov.
2001, 90.)

This too is my prayer and hope for the nations of the world and each of God's children dotted across the continents and isles of the sea.

I voted today. Who I voted for does not matter. What does matter, however, is that I informed myself about the candidates, took time out of my life, waited in line, slid the card in, touched the screen, and voted.

Joseph Smith, the founding prophet of the Mormon Church, mayor of Nauvoo, and presidential candidate loved the American system of free elections. It was part of his religion.

When he was asked to sum up the key beliefs of Mormonism, he made a list of thirteen doctrines. The twelfth, however, was not about God or religiosity per se, but about civics:

“We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.” (Articles of Faith 12)

Voting comes under the aegis of “obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.” I need to actively participate in politics, even if I do not hold office. Patriotism is for all of us, not just war veterans and boy scouts.

My family has been in America since the 1600s. One of my ancestors, Thomas White McBride, fought in the Revolutionary War. America and her freedoms are part of my birthright and heritage.

The Book of Mormon, which is a book of scripture and is another testament of Jesus Christ, says:

“For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.” (2 Nephi 32:8)

Similarly, I believe there is a spirit that teaches a man to vote, and there is a spirit that teaches a man not to vote. So whenever I hear someone say “Your vote doesn’t count,” or “It does not matter if I vote,” or “I think I’ll sit this one out,” I cringe. We need to “obey, honor, and sustain the law.” We need to honor the sacrifice of the Patriots of ’76. We need to listen to the spirit that teaches us to vote and to let our voice be heard. I believe that I will be held accountable before God if I do not vote.

I was a missionary in Portugal. We had been teaching a man our message, and one day we showed up at his home and he was dressed in his GNR (Portuguese Republican National Guard) regalia. We asked him what was up, and he said that they were having elections that day so he needed to be out at the polls.

I was taken back. Every time I have voted in California and Utah, the polls have been so calm that they have been almost comatose. And the polls are always run by a little old lady and her husband, with a college student handing out the “I Voted” stickers. But there have been no riots, no coercion, no monkeybusiness. Voting is a calm and rational process.

I am grateful for this country. I am grateful for our voting rights. I set a goal to vote every time. And I met my goal this year.