About 93 years ago, the First Presidency of the Church, had a growing concern about the degeneration of families across the world. So, in a formal letter to the church, they instituted Family Home Evenings (FHE)

"We advise and urge the inauguration of a 'Home Evening' throughout the church, at which time fathers and mothers may gather their boys and girls about them in the home and teach them the word of the Lord. . . . 'Home Evening' should be devoted to prayer, singing hymns, songs, instrumental music, scripture-reading, family topics and specific instruction on the principles of the gospel, and on the ethical problems of life, as well as the duties and obligations of children to parents, the home, the Church, society and the nation. For the smaller children appropriate recitations, songs, stories and games may be introduced. Light refreshments of such a nature as may be largely prepared in the home might be served.

If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset them." (First Presidency letter, 27 April 1915 — Joseph F. Smith, Anthon H. Lund, Charles W. Penrose)

Growing up, I always knew that Sunday meant attending church, and Monday night meant Family Home Evening. Come 6:00 P.M. on Monday night it was officially family time. My father always presided, and conducted over Family Home Evening (FHE.) We would take turns choosing the opening and closing songs. My father always chose someone to pray, and then the time was turned over to whoever was giving that week's lesson. Afterwards, we sometimes had an activity and almost always had a dessert (which often was homemade pop corn.)

Looking back, I am so thankful for the institution of family home evening. I learned so much through those weekly lessons, but even more, I can see how much stronger my family is because of the time spent together. I know this is something I will continue someday with my husband and children. For, I want my future family to be strong and untied.

What about right now? I have noticed that too often, Single Adults are seemingly in between worlds. We are no longer a small child or youth to be governed, and cared for by our parents. More often than not, we do not even live under our parent's roof, anymore. And yet, we have not married and begun a family of our own. Where does family home evening fit in with us?

There are two really good talks given which I recommend reading on the subject. One is written by a single adult and the other by a widow living alone. Both talks from the Ensign show how Family Home Evening can be done even if you are alone.

Family Home Evening for One - Judyth F. Barton

Family Home Evening for One - Bette J. Theriot

Right now, as my current calling, I have the privilege of being a member of my Singles Ward's Family Home Evening Committee. Since some of the singles in our ward live at home and attend FHE with their families, and some choose to have a private FHE with their roommates, the number who attends the ward FHE varies from week to week. We get on average anywhere from 7-25 people who come. Yet, even if we only had three or five people attending, it would still be worth it. It is not the number of people who attend, the perfection of the lesson, or even the grandness of the activities which matter. What matters is that we do it. That we come together in the eyes of God, to teach, learn, enjoy, and come closer to each other and to our Lord.

The same blessings, I received in my family, through participation in a weekly Family Home Evening, I have seen wrought in my Singles Ward. This is because the promised blessings of God are real and are available to all of us no matter our circumstance as long as we are obedient to the commandment upon which the blessing is predicated (D&C 130:20-21).

"Family home evening is for everyone. It is for families with parents and children, for families with just one parent, and for parents who have no children at home. It is for home evening groups of single adults and for those who live alone or with roommates. . . . Regular participation in family home evening will develop increased personal worth, family unity, love for our fellow men, and trust in our Father in heaven." (Family Home Evening, 1976 — Spencer W. Kimball, N. Eldon Tanner, and Marion G. Romney)

From the time that the Prophet Lehi and his family left Jerusalem, to the final Battle at Cumorah, which marked the formal end of the Nephite people, records were kept. These records were passed down, to be read and then continued, from prophet to prophet, and from ruler to ruler. Of these records one Nephite prophet Helaman said,

"But behold, a hundredth part of the proceedings of this people, yea, the account of the Lamanites and of the Nephites, and their wars, and contentions, and dissensions, and their preaching, and their prophecies, and their shipping and their building of ships, and their building of temples, and of synagogues and their sanctuaries, and their righteousness, and their wickedness, and their murders, and their robbings, and their plundering, and all manner of abominations and whoredoms, cannot be contained in this work." Helaman 3:4

There was so much that could not be recorded because of the difficulties of doing so, and yet enough was recorded (that which was considered most precious) that, later at the end of their civilization, the Prophet/Historians Mormon and his son Moroni, had to compile and condense the record even further. All this was done in the wisdom of God that we in these last days would be blessed with another testament of Jesus Christ.(The Book of Mormon)

Likewise, in our day, as in the days of the Ancient Nephites, we too have been commanded to keep records. I have been taught this since I was a child. And because of this, I have created such an eclectic assortment of journal entries, which span from my childhood to the present. For, even though I do not have to deal with the difficulty of engraving my record like those ancient Nephites, it is still not easy for me to keep a consistent record. I cannot count the number of times that I have started a journal and been faithful for a few days, only to stop. Often I tell myself that I am just too busy. The life of a single adult often is. It is true that often I just don't' have the time in the morning, and by evening I am ready to drop in exhaustion.

Yet, where I think that chaos of life and tiredness may have a part to play in my not keeping a consistent journal, I think that there is a deeper reason. I think that the reason we, (or at least I) do not try harder to keep a consistent journal, is because we think that is it of no use. No one could ever want to read what is written, and even if someone did, what good would it do them?

When I think of how much The Book of Mormon, has influenced my life I am humbled. For me this record is more than a history. It is more then a bunch of really cool stories. The Book of Mormon is filled with wisdom, guidance, and warning that is totally applicable in my life. It is also full of comfort, strength, and understanding. Most importantly I know my Heavenly Father, and Savior Jesus Christ so much more because of it. I understand who I am, why I am here, where I am going, and how to get there.

I see the value in the ancient record known as The Book of Mormon, yet that record was made by Prophets and great leaders. Of course their record would be influential. I, however, am not a Prophet. I am not a great leader. I am not even married yet. How could anything I write be of any influence to future generations?

The Lord knew that we would have these fears, and difficulties, and so He spoke to us through his Prophet, President Spencer W. Kimball, the Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, saying,

"You should continue on in this important work of recording the things you do, the things you say, the things you think, to be in accordance with the instructions of the Lord. Your story should be written now while it is fresh and while the true details are available.

Your private journal should record the way you face up to challenges that beset you. Do not suppose life changes so much that your experiences will not be interesting to your posterity. Experiences of work, relations with people, and an awareness of the rightness and wrongness of actions will always be relevant. Your journal, like most others, will tell of problems as old as the world and how you dealt with them…

Your journal is your autobiography, so it should be kept carefully. You are unique, and there may be incidents in your experience that are more noble and praiseworthy in their way than those recorded in any other life.

What could you do better for your children and your children's children than to record the story of your life, your triumphs over adversity, your recovery after a fall, your progress when all seemed black, your rejoicing when you had finally achieved? Some of what you write may be humdrum dates and places, but there will also be rich passages that will be quoted by your posterity." New Era, December 1980 President Kimball Speaks Out on Personal Journals

Here is a promise that if I keep working at writing in my journal that no matter how insignificant the entries may seem to me that they will be of great worth to my future posterity. There will be rich passages which will be counted as of great worth to them. With this in mind how can I not do my best, even though it is difficult to write even a hundredth part of my story, to record what I can.

It is not often that I stop to consider the absence of hope and its effect on the human spirit. But I have done a lot of thinking on the topic as of late. Sometimes it seems as if life is so overwhelming that to go on one more day is beyond one's capabilities. This is where Jesus Christ comes in.

At times when life is as a midnight sky whose brilliant stars are obscured by clouds or pollution, it seems as if those pinpoints of light in our lives are no longer visible. But this could not be further from the truth. When the weight of sorrow, grief and stress seem too heavy to bear, that is when it is important to step out onto your porch and looking into the midnight sky, realize that the God of Heaven and Earth is there and listening.

I just read of a man who decided God didn't exist because his prayers didn't prevent his parents' divorce. It seemed perfectly logical to him, but it makes no sense to me . . . not if one truly understands the Plan of Salvation as laid out by our Heavenly Father, accepted and championed by our Savior, Jesus Christ and taught to us by His prophets and apostles, both modern and ancient, across the ages. Their words can be found in the Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants and Pearl of Great Price: The scriptures which teach of the word of Jesus Christ, the God of Heaven and Earth.

Moroni, a prophet in the Book Mormon said:

And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning hope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?

And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.

Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope.

And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart.

If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity. (Moroni 7:40-44)

The absence of hope than deters us from gaining the faith that we need to survive this world, actually, more than survive, but literally triumph over it! Life cannot be endured without light and I invite each of you to allow the light of the eternal promise of Jesus Christ, the God of all Christian scripture, to provide for you the Balm of Gilead, as it were, and let your spirit be soothed.

That "free agency" clause that the war in heaven was fought over allows for terrible things to happen to good people. It's just the way it comes down. It causes a young boy's heart to break when his parents divorce. It allows for wicked men and women to subjugate and dominate nations, families and homes. It allows for wickedness to pervasively invade television, radio, movies and the internet . . . but it does not, nor can it ever, eliminate the light and hope of Jesus Christ.

It matters not what trial or tragedy you are currently enduring, whether caused by sin or by a circumstance of life, there is no place so low that the extended and loving hand of the Savior cannot reach you and lift you up. If you will let Him. Remember, that Jesus Christ, the God of Heaven and Earth, loves you more than you will possibly ever know or could ever comprehend. Allow Him to lighten your burdens as He has done for the enslaved throughout the history of the world.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)

In the past, you may have prayed to be spared all trials. Today, as a new member of the church, you may want to consider offering thanks for your trials. Dallin H. Oaks said, “Our needed conversions are often achieved more readily by suffering and adversity than by comfort and tranquility…”

Think of a time when you found yourself being stronger than you ever imagined, or doing something you never thought possible. Think of a time when you became more than you thought you could become. Nearly always, these times grew out of trials. Trials force us out of our comfort zone and require us to do or become what we would never bother to become on an ordinary, easy day. A mother who could never before learn a language learns sign language because her child is born deaf. It isn’t easier to learn, but she is motivated to push beyond previous limitations. A teenager who is shy reaches out to comfort another teen at the death of a mutual friend. She’s no less shy, but her own grief and compassion enable her to move beyond herself. A father facing unemployment and a nearly empty bank account struggles to hang on to his faith and emerges with a testimony greater than any he held previously.

I was once taught that my trials, which had been great, were to make it possible for me to serve others who faced the same trials. I was instructed to share with others what my trials had taught me, so their own testimonies could be strengthened. This taught me to watch for the lesson in the trials. What could I learn? How could I grow? And finally, when my own testimony was strengthened, how could I pass along my learning to others now facing those trials?

Over time, this led me to feel grateful for those past trials. Without them, I recognized that much of who I am today would not exist. My faith would be weaker, because I would never have been pushed to find out if my testimony could withstand the darker days of life. 2 Nephi 2:2, in the Book of Mormon, says “Nevertheless, Jacob, my first-born in the wilderness, thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain.”

I’ve always found Nephi to be a great example of this type of faith. His brothers repeatedly tried to kill him, and yet he used these experiences to become stronger. If he became discouraged, he reached deep inside for more faith, and all this led to his extraordinary skills as a prophet in his adult years. When I’m struggling with trials, I like to turn to Nephi, who despite the amazing number of terrible trials he faced, was still able to say that he had been blessed all the days of his life. He knew, better than most, that trials bring testimony when handled with faith.

How do you create memories for things that are special to you? Do you keep a journal or photo album, or do you have some other favorite method of bringing back good feelings and joy from past experiences?

The covenant of baptism is one of the most joyful and sacred blessings in a disciple’s life. Unfortunately, if we do not take the opportunity to remember the covenants we have made, and the feelings associated with them it becomes very easy for these promise to become lost in the less important stresses of every day life. Because of our Heavenly Father’s great love for us and His understanding of our human frailties, He gives us an equally sacred method to remember this experience by. Every week, as we gather on the Sabbath, we are given the opportunity to take the sacrament. The Lord has commanded us to take advantage of this opportunity. He has promised us that if we will go to Him to renew and remember our baptism covenants, it will also renew our strength and conviction to follow Christ and give us added protection from the evils we encounter every day in the world.

“And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day” (Doctrine and Covenants 59:9).

As Christ faced His last evening with the disciples, before His ultimate sacrifice, He had two specific things to teach them. These were the things he wanted to have the greatest impression on them. The first was His example of service and a commandment to become like Him. Just as it was for them, it is our willingness to do service and our desire for goodness that bind us to Him. The second was the sacrament. Jesus Christ gave them an ordinance specifically designed to help His disciples remember Him, be close to Him, and honor the promises they made to Him.

“And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body.

And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it;
For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.” (Matthew 26:26-28)

Jesus brought this same ordinance to the Americas when He visited its people after His resurrection.

“And it came to pass that Jesus commanded his Disciples that they should bring forth some bread and wine unto him.

And while they were gone for bread and wine, he commanded the multitude that they should sit themselves down upon the earth.

And when the Disciples had come with bread and wine, he took of the bread and brake and blessed it; and he gave unto the Disciples and commanded that they should eat.
And when they had eaten and were filled, he commanded that they should give unto the multitude.

And when the multitude had eaten and were filled, he said unto the Disciples: Behold there shall one be ordained among you, and to him will I give power that he shall break bread and bless it and give it unto the people of my church, unto all those who shall believe and be baptized in my name.

And this shall ye always observe to ado, even as I have done, even as I have broken bread and blessed it and given it unto you.

And this shall ye do in remembrance of my body, which I have shown unto you. And it shall be a testimony unto the Father that ye do always remember me. And if ye do always remember me ye shall have my Spirit to be with you.

And it came to pass that when he said these words, he commanded his Disciples that they should take of the wine of the cup and drink of it, and that they should also give unto the multitude that they might drink of it.

And it came to pass that they did so, and did drink of it and were filled; and they gave unto the multitude, and they did drink, and they were filled.

And when the Disciples had done this, Jesus said unto them: Blessed are ye for this thing which ye have done, for this is fulfilling my commandments, and this doth witness unto the Father that ye are willing to do that which I have commanded you.

And this shall ye always do to those who repent and are baptized in my name; and ye shall do it in remembrance of my blood, which I have shed for you, that ye may witness unto the Father that ye do always remember me. And if ye do always remember me ye shall have my Spirit to be with you.

And I give unto you a commandment that ye shall do these things. And if ye shall always do these things blessed are ye, for ye are built upon my rock. (3 Nephi 18:1–12)

At baptism we commit ourselves to Christ and show ourselves willing to carry His name in every aspect of our lives, to try to live His gospel and become like Him. When we take the sacrament we return to that sacred promise. We place ourselves in a holy atmosphere where we can sit at the Father’s feet and assess our lives and dedication to Jesus Christ. We thank Him for the Savior’s atoning sacrifice that we remember through the bread and water. We thank Him for the chance it gives us to repent, to seek forgiveness and begin each day with a greater conviction to bring our lives into harmony with the gospel and His commandments. We walk away blessed with the spirit of Jesus Christ to build us up and guide us through life until we meet and renew our covenants again.

One of the most powerful statements I’ve ever heard on the power our words hold was given by a latter-day apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed Mormon Church) by the name of Jeffrey R. Holland.

In his talk, “The Tongue of Angels,” he takes a moment to contemplate the effect a parent’s words can have on a child.

“We must be so careful in speaking to a child. What we say or don’t say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child’s view of himself or herself. But it is even more important in shaping that child’s faith in us and their faith in God” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Tongue of Angels,” Ensign, May 2007).

In continuing the posts on learning how to speak your teens’ language of love, we come to the area on speaking words of support and encouragement. This is especially effective if your teen feels the most love through affirmative words.

I am one of those people. I have always needed to hear the words to know that someone loves me, or appreciates me. The quickest way for me to let others know I love them is through a written note or by saying it out loud. As a youth I often did things, especially service projects, so that I might reap the rewards through loving and encouraging words. This is my foremost language of love.

For those of us who need these affirming words there is nothing more devastating than to hear the opposite, especially from someone we dearly love.

Speaking in particular to mothers, Jeffrey R. Holland discusses this with remarkable eloquence.

“How is it that such a lovely voice which by divine nature is so angelic, so close to the veil, so instinctively gentle and inherently kind could ever in a turn be so shrill, so biting, so acrid and untamed? A woman’s words can be more piercing than any dagger ever forged, and they can drive the people they love to retreat beyond a barrier more distant that anyone in the beginning of that exchange could ever have imagined” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Tongue of Angels,” Ensign, May 2007).

Fathers, you are certainly not off the hook. As a mother’s voice is compared to that of angels, I have so often thought of a father’s voice as being comparable to that of our own Spirit Father, or our Father in Heaven. When you find yourselves reacting in anger, pause for a moment and think what your Heavenly Father would do in the same situation. Remember these children are His children as well, and deserve a calm, supportive voice of reason during these trying years.

I love the words of the apostle Paul, who not only spoke candidly, but with much hope:

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but [only] that which is good…[and] edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God….
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you….
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:29-32).

Children respond so easily to uplifting words. They’ll accept any you have to offer. As they grow into teens it’s not as easy to keep those words uplifting. More often we look to criticize, or demean, in order to get our point across. Then we wonder why our teens no longer listen to us. There is a better way to inspire our teens than by yelling, nagging, or arguing. These negative words can be more harmful than you realize to those who recognizes love through words.

So how do you break the negative-word cycle? Gary Chapman, family and marriage counselor, wrote extensibely about this very thing.

Start with a few words that praise your teens. Look for and verbally recognize their accomplishments. Believe it or not, every teen out there has done something right, and they deserve a bit of recognition for it. Be sincere in your praise. I can state from personal experience that it’s easy to know when someone’s not sincere. Flattery won’t get you far, and will breed distrust.

Be specific in your praise. If your daughter was supposed to clean her room, but only got her dresser cleared off, tell her she did a good job cleaning her dresser. If your son managed to get all his dirty laundry in the hamper without being nagged, praise him for it! Look for specifics.

But what if the results of a job are less than what was desired? Dr. Chapman suggests you praise efforts if you can’t praise the results. If your teen has tried to do something like wash the dishes or fold the laundry or mow the lawn, but their efforts have fallen far short of the job you could have done yourself, let them know how much you appreciate all the effort they put into the job. The next time they attack the chore, make a few suggestions as to how to make it easier. Say something like, “You might see a difference if you…” or “This time why don’t you try…” Make it about what they can do rather than what works for you.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to say the words, “I love you.” If you’re not used to saying it, this will take time to get used to. But the efforts will be marvelous. Don’t go around shouting it right in front of your teens' best friends. Do it privately. Find other ways of saying “I love you” without using the actual words.

“I really enjoy having you around.”

“Your smile makes my day.”

“I needed to see your beautiful face today.”

In the shaping of a teenager’s self-image our words are powerful tools. They should be filled with faith, with hope, and with charity. As Jeffrey Holland put it:

“With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail.”

As you’ve learned more about Jesus Christ, you have also learned to love Him in a way that may be more new and personal than ever before. As your love grows, you want to show Him how you feel. Dallin H. Oaks, a General Authority, said, “We are challenged to move through a process of conversion toward that status and condition called eternal life. This is achieved not just by doing what is right, but by doing it for the right reason—for the pure love of Christ.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “The Challenge to Become,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 32–34)

Doing the right thing—living the gospel and joining the church—is an important way to show the Savior you love Him, but you must do it for the right reasons. Doing it just to get the reward, or to please a friend might be a starting place, but it isn’t where you want to end up. You want to find yourself living the gospel for no reason other than your love for the Savior and for your Heavenly Father.

The stronger your love grows, the easier obedience will become. When you find you are good even when you have no material reason to be and no one on earth will know, you’ll realize your love is growing strong. With a powerful love in your heart it will be no hardship to make the right choices.

When we think of how we parent our own children, or our parents raised us, we can see the wisdom in this idea. Last week I watched a toddler for the day. It’s been a long time since I spent a day with a toddler and I was quickly reminded that they must be watched every moment. There are rules about what toddlers can and can’t do, but they don’t understand them, or, in general, care much about them. As they get a little older, they begin to memorize the rules, but they only know that if they follow them, they won’t get into trouble and they might get praised. The fear of punishment and the reward are the primary motivations.

But then one day, they are faced with a rule at a time when no one is watching and they obey it anyway, not because they are afraid of consequences, but because they’ve internalized the rule. They love their parents and want to be the person their parents want them to be. They believe in the rules themselves. And so, they are “good” for the right reason, and independent of any external consequence.

This is the highest level of obedience. Doing good for the pure love of Christ is a major step in the path back to our Father in Heaven.