In The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Twelve Apostles, we read, “His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come.” But how can we find His path? And once we have found it, how can we get on it and stay on it?

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons) we believe in thirteen articles of faith, or tenets, the fourth of which states:

“We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost” (Articles of Faith 1:4.)

How can faith in the Lord Jesus Christ help us find the path that leads to happiness? To answer this question, we must understand that were it not for a perfect Savior who willingly gave His life for us, there could be no remission of our sins. Lehi, a Book of Mormon prophet, taught that “no flesh … can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah” (2 Ne. 2:8.)

Next, we must repent of our sins and give them up, forever. Repentance involves not just a change of actions but a change of heart. The Lord said, “Behold, this is my doctrine—whosoever repenteth and cometh unto me, the same is my church” (D&C 10:67.) http://scriptures.lds.org/dc/10//67#67 In his talk, “A Mighty Change of Heart” President Ezra Taft Benson said:

“If we wish to truly repent and come unto Him so that we can be called members of His Church, we must first and foremost come to realize this eternal truth—the gospel plan is the plan of happiness. Wickedness never did, never does, never will bring us happiness. Violation of the laws of God brings only misery, bondage, and darkness” (Ensign, Oct 1989, 2.)

In the scriptures we read of men whose lives were changed in dramatic ways when they repented. For most of us, repenting does not bring such astonishing results. We shouldn’t second-guess ourselves or assume we are somehow less worthy if we don’t experience such things ourselves. “There are hundreds and thousands of people who find the process of repentance much more subtle, much more imperceptible” says President Benson. Little by little, day by day, these people live quiet lives of goodness and service, striving to live the lives God has asked of them. Don’t be like the Lamanites who the Lord said “were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not” (3 Ne. 9:20.)

The Psalmist exclaimed:

“O how love I thy law! … Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies. … Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. … Thy testimonies have I taken as an heritage for ever: for they are the rejoicing of my heart” (Ps. 119:97-98, 105, 111.)

I pray that you can be found rejoicing in your heart also. Please don’t get down on yourself if you fail to hear angels singing or the voice of God Himself reassuring you that you have been forgiven of your sins. Have faith. Believe. Know that your Savior gave His life for you and that all is required of you is to live by that knowledge, through faith, repent and sin no more. Your Heavenly Father wants you to be happy so He has prepared a way for you. If you will follow Him, have faith in Him and repent of your sins, you will find yourself on the path that leads to happiness.

As you read the newspaper, watch the news and go about your daily activities you often hear of betrayal and loss of trust in others. You might feel there is no one you can confide in and trust. There is one we can completely trust, He is our Heavenly Father.

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. (Psalms 118:8)

When we look at this grand creation that is our world it is a witness of His trustworthiness to each of us. We can always have that reassurance that each day will come forth as it should in perfect order. All because of a trustworthy Father in Heaven.

Trusting God means we know He will do what He says He will. If we do our part, He will do His. However, He will never let us down or forget us.

There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated and when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated. (D&C 130:20-21)

You might ask how it is possible to trust God with all that is going on in the world today? You can, Heavenly Father is perfect, unchangeable, steadfast and immovable. He is different from any person you will ever meet. We are an imperfect people prone to sin and a willingness to change our minds on a whim; and yet He loves us and wishes only for us to succeed.

Furthermore, trusting in Heavenly Father is a necessary step to gaining our salvation. When we start to trust Him we will more likely desire to obey Him. Obeying God with a pure heart brings us inner peace in a world where there is no peace.

Job is a great example for each of us to remember. In the midst of all his suffering, he continued to trust in the Lord. He never turned his back on the Lord.

Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him. He also shall be my salvation: for an hypocrite shall not come between him. (Job 13:15–16)

And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away: blessed be the name of the Lord. (Job 1:21)

Job was anxious to obey the Lord in every way because he trusted Him. Job was truly blessed for his obedience and example. I truly believe that we can find that same trust as Job did in our Father in Heaven.

Joseph Smith was the prophet of eternal love. As the first president of the Mormon Church, he laid the framework for what members of that church believe. This includes how Mormons view romantic love.

The foundation for all that Mormons believe about love is the Atonement, or Jesus Christ’s sacrifice and resurrection. This act was the greatest act of love in eternity. It is also the foundation for all other forms of love: camaraderie, friendship, and romantic love. Since the Atonement is a miracle of cleansing, the cleaner we are, the better we can love.

Joseph Smith also taught that heaven is an extension of earthly associations:

“And that same sociality which exists among us here [in earth] will exist among us there [in heaven], only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.” (D&C 130:2)

The word “sociality” includes friends, families, and communities in general. Therefore death means nothing to a good friend, a child, or a loving spouse.

Mormon marriages are done not only for time, but also for all eternity. The reason Mormons do this goes back to the Resurrection. A man will resurrect as a man, a woman will resurrect as a woman because “gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, paragraph 2). Retaining our gender identities allows us to love our spouses in heaven as we have loved them on earth.

An ancient prophet once said:

“For that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.” (Alma 34:34)

We will resurrect with the same emotions, feelings, and passions that we had while alive. So if you die loving your spouse, then you will resurrect loving your spouse. If you die loving your children, then you will resurrect loving your children. That is why Mormons spend so much time emphasizing the family. It is preparation for eternity.

Thomas S. Monson, the sixteenth president of the Mormon Church suggested three ways in which we can strengthen homes:

1. Form a pattern of prayer.

2. Have a library of learning.

3. Leave a legacy of love.

If we habituate ourselves by doing these three things, we not only will strengthen our homes in the here and now, but also bring these things with us in heaven.

There is so much to say about the Mormon view of romantic love. But we need to remember that it all began with Joseph Smith. In his letters to his wife Emma, we see that Joseph Smith was head-over-heels in love with her. It went beyond love to a burning passion.

Here are some samples:

To Emma Smith on October 13, 1832, from New York City, New York: “This day I have been walking through the most splendid part of the city of New York. The buildings are truly great and wonderful, to the astonishing of every beholder. … After beholding all that I had any desire to behold, I returned to my room to meditate and calm my mind; and behold, the thoughts of home, of Emma and Julia, rush upon my mind like a flood and I could wish for a moment to be with them. My breast is filled with all the feelings and tenderness of a parent and a husband, and could I be with you I would tell you many things. …”

“I feel as if I wanted to say something to you to comfort you in your peculiar trial and present affliction [Emma was pregnant at the time]. I hope God will give you strength that you may not faint. I pray God to soften the hearts of those around you to be kind to you and take the burden off your shoulders as much as possible and not afflict you. I feel for you, for I know your state and that others do not, but you must comfort yourself knowing that God is your friend in heaven and that you have one true and living friend on earth, your husband.”

To Emma Smith on April 4, 1839, from the jail in Liberty, Missouri: “My dear Emma, I think of you and the children continually. … I want to see little Frederick, Joseph, Julia, and Alexander, Johanna [an orphan who was living with the Smiths], and old Major [the family dog]. And as to yourself, if you want to know how much I want to see you, examine your feelings, how much you want to see me, and judge for yourself. I would gladly walk from here to you barefoot and bareheaded and half-naked to see you and think it great pleasure, and never count it toil. … I bear with fortitude all my oppression; so do those that are with me. Not one of us has flinched yet.”

To Emma Smith on November 12, 1838, from Richmond, Missouri, where he was being held prisoner: “Tell little Joseph he must be a good boy; Father loves him with a perfect love. He is the eldest and must not hurt those that are smaller than him, but comfort them. Tell little Frederick Father loves him with all his heart; he is a lovely boy. Julia is a lovely little girl. I love her also. She is a promising child. Tell her Father wants her to remember him and be a good girl. Tell all the rest that I think of them and pray for them all. … Little Alexander is on my mind continually. O my affectionate Emma, I want you to remember that I am a true and faithful friend to you and the children forever. My heart is entwined around yours forever and ever. Oh, may God bless you all, amen. I am your husband and am in bands and tribulation.” (“Chapter 20: A Heart Full of Love and Faith: The Prophet’s Letters to His Family,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, [2007], 238–247.)

You see the love for his wife, his individualized love for his children, and even the love for his pet dog! That is what Mormonism does to people and also does for people.

The best expression that sums up the Mormon view of eternal love comes from Parley P. Pratt, an apostle and contemporary of Joseph Smith:

“[Joseph Smith] taught me many great and glorious principles concerning God and the heavenly order of eternity. It was at this time that I received from him the first idea of eternal family organization, and the eternal union of the sexes in those expressibly endearing relationships which none but the highly intellectual, the refined and pure in heart, know how to prize, and which are at the very foundation of everything worthy to be called happiness.”

“Till then I had learned to esteem kindred affections and sympathies as pertaining solely to this transitory state, as something from which the heart must be entirely weaned, in order to be fitted for its heavenly state.”

“It was Joseph Smith who taught me how to prize the endearing relationships of father and mother, husband and wife; of brother and sister, son and daughter.”

“It was from him that I learned that the wife of my bosom might be secured to me for time and all eternity; and that the refined sympathies and affections which endeared us to each other emanated from the fountain of divine eternal love. It was from him that I learned that we might cultivate these affections, and grow and increase in the same to all eternity; while the result of our endless union would be an offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven, or the sands of the sea shore.”

“It was from him that I learned the true dignity and destiny of a son of God, clothed with an eternal priesthood, as the patriarch and sovereign of his countless offspring. It was from him that I learned that the highest dignity of womanhood was, to stand as a queen and priestess to her husband, and to reign for ever and ever as the queen mother of her numerous and still increasing offspring.”

“I had loved before, but I knew not why. But now I loved—with a pureness—an intensity of elevated, exalted feeling, which would lift my soul from the transitory things of this groveling sphere and expand it as the ocean. I felt that God was my Heavenly Father indeed; that Jesus was my brother, and that the wife of my bosom was an immortal, eternal companion; a kind ministering angel, given to me as a comfort, and a crown of glory for ever and ever. In short, I could now love with the spirit and with the understanding also.”

“Yet, at that time, my dearly beloved brother, Joseph Smith, had barely touched a single key; had merely lifted a corner of the veil and given me a single glance into eternity.” (Parley Pratt Autobiography [1985], 259-260)

That is what Mormonism is all about—helping families understand who they are, fostering eternal love, and preparing for the future day when we can stand before God as families and rejoice.

By the time Jesus Christ came into the world the Jews had been captured, freed and captured again with quite regularity. Indeed, as they drew further and further away from the teachings of God their captivity extended over decades, centuries and millennia.

By this point in Jewish History it was firmly entrenched in their minds that the Messiah would come as a great and powerful king who would free them permanently from their captors. He took on the attributes of great generals in history and it was cemented in Jewish minds that he would restore the Davidic royal line and take his rightful place on the throne.

Jesus Christ, descendant of King David and rightful heir to this mortal throne, came into the world in a meek and lowly manner. The God of heaven and earth was born in a stable and laid in a manger, for this was all His earthly father, Joseph, could provide for his wife as she delivered into the world the prophesied Messiah.

But this Messiah, Jesus Christ, came into the world to redeem us from the fall of Adam, not to free the Jews from captivity, that wouldn't come for several thousands of years, and even is still a greatly awaited event by Jew and Christian alike. He came as the Messiah, even the Lord and Redeemer, to redeem our spirits and to break the bands of death. And this He did.

While teaching the multitudes in the temple (see Matthew 23:37–39). As Jesus preached in Jerusalem during the final week of His mortal ministry, He publicly lamented the fate of the city’s inhabitants who would not believe in Him. He told them He would return to Jerusalem in glory with His angels and said, “Ye shall not see me henceforth and know that I am he of whom it is written by the prophets until ye shall say: Blessed is he who cometh in the name of the Lord” (JS—Matthew 1:1), thus fulfilling the messianic words of Psalm 118:26. (Jonathan H. Stephenson, “‘I Am He’,” Ensign, Apr 1999, 7)

And though He fulfilled the law of Moses, was born into the world as prophesied, performed miracle after miracle, confounded the learned and delighted the unlearned with His wisdom and knowledge of the Kingdom of God, still billions do not accept Him as their Savior.

And yet, to this day, millions DO accept Him as the Son of God, acknowledging His divinity. And although He is the Messiah of every man, woman and child, again, many do not recognize Him as such. Interestingly, this does make this truth any less so.

I testify to you that Jesus Christ came at the meridian of time as the promised and foretold Messiah, delivering us from the bondage of sin and death. Because of His great and loving sacrifice we have hope for an eternal reward. Without Him we would have lived forever in sin and been silent in the grave. Only through His Atonement and Resurrection did the Plan of Salvation become complete. Through Him and only through Him will redemption be found as well as that eternal happiness we all long for which is within our grasp if we accept Him as our Lord and Savior and take the hand outstretched to us.

He will, I testify, return in glory and power. First will come the foretold heavenly sign, coming east to west and then Jesus Christ will return as the God of Heaven and Earth and His millennial reign will begin.

This is a day I long for and anxiously await. For though I have far to go in my quest for perfection I grow weary of the pervasiveness of wickedness in this world. I, for one, will shout with joy when He returns, the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

I have absolutely loved reading Andrew C. Skinner's book, Prophets, Priests and Kings. It has given me a whole new light on how carefully Jehovah has placed people in the earth's history for specific purposes.

Such is Cyrus:

Thus saith the Lord . . . saith to Jerusalem, Thou shalt be inhabited; and to the cities of Judah, Ye shall be built, and I will raise up the decayed places thereof:

That saith to the deep, Be dry, and I will dry up thy rivers:

That saith of Cyrus, He is my shepherd, and shall perform all my pleasure: even saying to Jerusalem, Thou shalt be built; and to the temple, Thy foundation shall be laid. (Isaiah 44:24-28)

Prophesied of, although not Jewish, Cyrus was a Persian King who captured Babylon in 539 BC and continued to rule for twenty years. He was a good and gentle king, who encouraged his subjects to live their own religions. The Jews, by this point, had been captured and recaptured, enslaved and their kingdoms destroyed until their temples had been hewn down, their synagogues razed and their religion driven underground. Seen as a liberator, beloved by all, he was a champion of downtrodden as well as the privileged. He strongly believed no one should be terrorized, by the government or criminals.

When Cyrus swept into Babylon he allowed the Israelites to come into the sunshine again. He rebuilt their temples and synagogues, he encouraged freedom, peace and prosperity and in doing so ruled over a loyal people.

Cyrus was given victory, honor and kingship not for his personal benefit but so that Israel could be blessed and, in turn, bless others.

This is an important principle for modern disciples to learn. We are called and blessed in order to bless others. The Prophet Joseph Smith used this very passage, Isaiah 45:4, to teach this principle: "That we may learn still further that God calls or elects particular men to perform particular works, or on whom to confer special blessings, we read . . . 'For Jacob my servants sake, and Israel mine elect, I have even called thee [Cyrus] by thy name,' to be a deliverer to my people Israel, and help to plant them on my holy mountain." (Andrew C. Skinner, Prophets, Priests and Kings, Deseret Book, Salt Lake City, 2005 13)

Cyrus, although not Jewish, was a man of principle and strength. As Jesus Christ would come into the world to free us from sin and death, Cyrus came into the world to free the Jews from crushing captivity under the Babylonians. During his reign he never turned to greed, avarice or sin, but continued to live his life according to value system established within his heart.

So devoted to the concept of a free and happy society, Cyrus, who had heard of the Jewish prophecies regarding him, asked to see them. So much did he believe these prophecies that he issued the following proclamation throughout Asia:

"Thus saith Cyrus the King: ---Since God Almighty hath appointed me to be king of the habitable earth, I believe that he is the God which the nation of the Israelites worship; for indeed he foretold my name by the prophets, and that I should build him a house at Jerusalem, in the country of Judea." This was known to Cyrus by his reading the book which Isaiah left behind him of his prophecies; for this prophet said that God spoken thus to him in a secret vision: "My will is, that Cyrus, whom I have appointed to be king over many and great nations, send back my people to their own land, and build my temple." This was foretold by Isaiah one hundred and forty years before the temple was demolished. Accordingly, when Cyrus read this, and admired the Divine power, an earnest and ambition seized upon him to fulfill what was so written. (Josephus, Antiquities of the Jews 11.6.1 -- Andrew C. Skinner, Prophets, Priests and Kings Deseret Book, Salt Lake City 2005 114-115)

Ancient and modern prophets have spoken of Cyrus, for his kingdom was a happy kingdom. He acted a deliverer, ruled in a benevolent and just manner and in many ways was a foreshadow and archetype of Jesus Christ. A messiah, in his own fashion, of people who had been enslaved and abused by the Babylonians were now free to worship as they may. Oh yes, Cyrus, prophesied and foretold of, served God well, although never a Jew.

Looking back over the history of the world, we see one shining moment in history that changed the course of man forever.

Before Jesus Christ came into the world Adam and Eve were commanded:

But of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it; for in the time that thou eatest thereof, thou shalt surely die. (Abraham 5:13)

Adam and Eve did put forth their hands and partake of the "fruit of that tree" and man fell from immortality and the Garden of Eden into our mortal probation. In previous blogs I have discussed the Garden of Eden and roles of Adam and Eve in the lives of all who descended from them, which is every human being who has ever lived, is alive and will ever live on the face of this earth. It sufficeth me to say that Adam and Eve hold a place of honor, admiration and immense gratitude in my heart.

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy. (2 Nephi 2:25)

Had Adam and Eve not made the choice they did we would not be here today. But because they did make that choice, all man born to the world from that point forward were caught forever in their sins because no Savior had yet been born to redeem them.

Enter Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten Son of God, our Lord and Redeemer.

And God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These I will make my rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou wast born.

And there stood one among them that was like unto God, and he said unto those who were with him: We will go down, for there is space there, and we will take of these materials, and we will make an earth whereon these may dwell; (Abraham 3:23-24)

And that One who was like unto God was Jesus Christ. Two stepped forward after Heavenly Father presented His plan of salvation, one was chosen and one fell taking a large number of the hosts of heaven with him. (Revelations 12)

From that moment a sacrifice beyond compare was agreed to and Jesus Christ, under the explicit and loving direction of His Father in Heaven, was born into the world in the meridian of time. Thirty years passed before He took up the mantle of godhood and began preaching His Father's Word.

At the culmination of His great mission where miracle upon miracle was performed, the great and precious truths which had been lost until He taught them again in the synagogues, homes, streets and hills of Israel. Those who had previously been cast aside, those who preached at the pulpit, those who fished in the waters of Galilee, those who carried water from the wells were all taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ, His Father's word.

Then on that night in Gethsemane when Jesus Christ first took upon the weight of all the sins, sorrows and illnesses of all the children of God, no matter where or when they lived it caused even God, the greatest of us all, to bleed from every pore. This painting by artist, Derek Hegsted, shows the moment of greatest despair in the Savior as His robe was drenched in blood and His physical body weakened by the ravages of sin.

Throughout the night as He lived up to His promise to His Father in Heaven and to each of us, wave upon wave of agony was poured out upon Him as He descended below the lowest of us all and paid the price for our redemption. Justice was satisfied and mercy magnified on that night so long ago in a garden of Israel.

Of this astounding and boundless act of godly love Andrew C. Skinner said:

The Atonement of Christ is so great in its effects and so far-reaching in its consequences that it easily qualifies as the most important occurrence in time or in all eternity. Nothing ever has or ever will surpass in its significance. Nothing is greater in the entire universe or in the history of created things than Christ's Atonement. ... "When the prophets speak of an infinite Atonement, they mean just that. Its effects cover all men, the earth itself and all forms of life thereon, and reach out into the endless expanses of eternity." McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 64) (Andrew C. Skinner, Gethsemane, Deseret Book, Salt Lake City, 2002 11)

This sacrifice beyond compare was, is and ever will be the single most critical and redeeming moment in the history of the children of God.

I've been thinking a lot about the kind of legacy we leave behind when we pass on. When our work here is done, will we be remembered as we would like to be remembered?

I remember watching a show on televison some time ago about a mother and son that were going through a very difficult time. The mother admitted that she had never been a real mother to her son. The son, now a young adult was bitter and wanted nothing to do with his mom. The mother was desperate to reconnect with her son and to be a part of his life again. One of the things the therapist counseled this mother to do was to write her own eulogy. She was asked specifically to write her eulogy from the point of view of her son. The point of the exercise (as I understood it) was for this mother to see exactly where she needed to improve as a mother and hopefully, work towards it.

So, these last few days as I reflected on the kinds of legacies we leave behind, I couldn't help but think about what will be said of us when we're gone. Will we be remembered as loving parents who taught their children to love the Lord? Will we be praised by our children for our righteous examples in their lives? Parenting is hard. In fact, it is the hardest job that I know of. On the other hand, it's also the most rewarding job that I've ever had.

What will our children say about us when we're gone? Will they remember us fondly as "not quite perfect," but still wonderful parents? We came across an essay written by our son when he was a senior in high school where he wrote about his dad. He titled his essay, "Not quite perfect, but I still love him." My husband treasures this essay as one of the highest praise he has ever received.

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ (also known as Mormons) regard the rearing of children as a sacred calling or duty. In a proclamation titled, The Family: A Proclamation to the World, the First Presidency of the Church counseled;

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

Within our communities, will we be remembered as having lived a life of service and charity to all? Will we be remembered as being an influence in inviting all to come unto Christ? The single most important "mission of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is to invite all to come unto Christ." (Elder David A. Bednar) As Mormons, it is our sincere desire to share the joy of the Gospel of Christ with everyone that will listen.

Friends, in the words of Prophet Moroni from the Book of Mormon, we extend to you all this invitation, "And again I would exhort you that ye would come unto Christ, and lay hold upon every good gift, and touch not the evil gift, nor the unclean thing." (Moroni 10:30)

I should tell you that the reason I've been thinking of such matters lately is because of the recent passing of President Gordon B. Hinckley. What a legacy he left behind! He left behind a legacy of hope, a legacy of service to God and his fellowmen, a legacy of righteousness, a legacy of inclusion rather than exclusion. In short, he left behind a legacy of love. He was beloved by his immediate family and by his Church family. He was loved by old and young alike. He was loved by those near and far.

There are a number of excellent video tributes to President Hinckley available on YouTube and other online sites. Many of them include messages and quotes from President Hinckley. If you haven't seen those yet, please do so. I also want to share with you a couple of slideshows about President Hinckley that you might not have had a chance to see yet. One comes from Brigham Young University (Provo) and the other comes from Brigham Young University (Hawaii).

Gordon B. Hinckley 1910-2008

President Hinckley

We may not all have the kind of far-reaching legacy that President Hinckley left behind but all of us can leave behind a legacy of love.

Communicating love to your teen in any aspect can be a treacherous road, yet perhaps none is trickier than through positive physical touch. Due to fluctuating hormones, a constant sense of uncertainty, and the drastic highs and lows in their moods it can be difficult to figure out just when the right time hits to reinforce your love.

Positive physical touch is another aspect in the ways people give and receive love. Children who dearly love that physical contact read the most love through a hug, cuddle-time, kisses, and physical play. As they grow into teens finding ways to say, “I love you” through positive physical touch becomes downright complicated.

Trying to express love through a hug at the wrong time can cause embarrassment (if it’s done in front of friends), annoyance (if they’re feeling anti-social), or aggravation (if your action makes them feel as though you’re treating them like a child).

Parents, if your teenager’s language of love is positive physical touch, you need to learn to read your teen well enough to determine suitable timing. Good intentions done at the wrong time can go very, very wrong.

Consider first your teen’s mood. Does she slam the door upon coming home from school? Does he stand across the room from you when discussing his day? Are her arms folded tightly across her chest? Study their body language. Don’t be offended if they’re not open to being touched. It probably has nothing to do with you, but with something that happened at school.

Appropriate times for positive physical touch can be when something really exciting happens. It could be a victory in sports, a good report card, a successful performance in music or dance, a well-deserved grade on a test or major paper. The opposite can also be true. If your teen flunks a test, or has lost a good friend, or perhaps had a little accident with the car, they may need a good hug to be reminded that they are still loved. Just be mindful of their body language to know if it's safe to approach them.

Another thing to consider is where you might be with your teen when you want to give them a hug or kiss. The child who used to love being held in front of their friends isn’t going to like it any more. Gary Chapman, a marriage and family counselor who came up with the concepts of the love languages, strongly recommends “a good rule of thumb is never to touch a teenager in the presence of his/her friends unless the teenager initiates it by touching you.” (Italics added)

As with any expression of love, taking it to a negative side can cause horribly lasting effects. For a teen who feels the most love through physical touch, abuse of that form of love screams the opposite of love.

President Gordon B. Hinckley, former leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed “Mormon Church”), gave one of my most favorite quotes on the evils of abuse.

"Then there is the terrible, inexcusable, and evil phenomenon of physical and sexual abuse.
It is unnecessary. It is unjustified. It is indefensible.

“In terms of physical abuse, I have never accepted the principle of “spare the rod and spoil the child.” I will be forever grateful for a father who never laid a hand in anger upon his children. Somehow he had the wonderful talent to let them know what was expected of them and to give them encouragement in achieving it.

“I am persuaded that violent fathers produce violent sons. I am satisfied that such punishment in most instances does more damage than good. Children don’t need beating. They need love and encouragement. They need fathers to whom they can look with respect rather than fear. Above all, they need example.

“And then there is the terrible, vicious practice of sexual abuse. It is beyond understanding. It is an affront to the decency that ought to exist in every man and woman. It is a violation of that which is sacred and divine. It is destructive in the lives of children. It is reprehensible and worthy of the most severe condemnation.

“Shame on any man or woman who would sexually abuse a child. In doing so, the abuser not only does the most serious kind of injury. He or she also stands condemned before the Lord.

“It was the Master himself who said, “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt. 18:6). How could he have spoken in stronger terms” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Save the Children,” Ensign, Nov 1994).

Try to find different, positive ways to daily tell your teens you love them in a more adult manner. What about arm wrestling with your son? Try giving your daughter a manicure. A shoulder or back rub after a hard day is always nice. You could even practice the art of reflexology together and get a pretty nice foot massage in the process. If your teen doesn’t care for your expressions of love, have an honest talk and find out what would be okay. This acts as a way to let your teen assert what is or is not okay with him or her, and shows your respect for his/her feelings.

Teenagers whose main language of love is through positive physical touch need to be touched by parents. For some, it speaks more deeply and quickly than all other forms of expression. It can be used to help ease disappointments, to soften harsh words spoken to discipline, and to celebrate the good times.

In my church this past Sunday we had a lesson from the new manual Teachings of Presidents of The Church: Joseph Smith. The class I attended was a quorum meeting, a quorum being a group of men who hold the same priesthood office. As the title of the manual indicates, we were studying the teachings and sermons of Joseph Smith, who was the first prophet of the Mormon Church. The subject was God the Eternal Father. This lesson was important because the starting point of all religion is God, His nature, perfections, and His attributes.

Going into the class I was of two minds. The better angel of my nature was looking forward to the class. I could expect a vigorous and lively review of the things that I as a Mormon believe about God.

But the darker side of me was afraid that the class would be a rote recitation of things that I already knew and believed, and nothing more.

As I saw it, there were two laws of learning in play. One law is that we learn by repetition. Practice makes perfect. The other law is an observation from Roman Catholic philosopher Thomas Aquinas. He said that frequent repetition can bring “weariness and confusion” to the minds of students. That is, rote repetition makes studying the gospel boring. When the lesson is done we get a mixture of two feelings: “We’ve heard this all before” and “Is this all there is?”

But I was surprised by what happened. As the lesson progressed, there was a subtle change in the quorum. Some of the other elders shared experiences from their missions. One thing they learned as missionaries was that if people had bad experiences with their earthly fathers, then that adversely affected their ability to believe in a Heavenly Father.

This real-life experience is confirmed by science. New York University psychologist Paul Vitz did a study of atheists and religious skeptics, and found a common thread. Many of them did not have a significant father figure in their lives. Voltaire, Hume, Freud, Camus, Sartre, and Nietzsche had missing or fractured fathers. On the other hand, Bonhoeffer, Chesterton, and Pascal all had strong and loving fathers. (cited in Paul Copan, That’s Just Your Interpretation, 114-155.)

That is an interesting connection. Coincidentally, the Saturday before members of the Mormon Church attended a worldwide leadership conference that focused on the family. We all agree that the family is in danger, and that men need to assume their roles as presiders, providers, and protectors. But sometimes we think of men as just managing a family, as if they were the CEOs of Family, Inc. However, it seems that there is more to fatherhood than that. As our experience and science both show, how fathers fulfill their covenants, obligations, and duties within the family affects the spirituality of the children. Fathers must be spiritual leaders.

For example, Joseph Smith’s brother said that his father, Joseph Smith Sr., took charge and set the spiritual climate for the family:

“My father’s religious habits were strictly pious and moral. … I was called upon to listen to prayers both night and morning. … My parents, father and mother, poured out their souls to God, the donor of all blessings, to keep and guard their children and keep them from sin and from all evil works. Such was the strict piety of my parents.”

“We always had family prayers since I can remember. I well remember father used to carry his spectacles in his vest pocket, … and when us boys saw him feel for his specs, we knew that was a signal to get ready for prayer, and if we did not notice it mother would say, ‘William,’ or whoever was the negligent one, ‘get ready for prayer.’ After the prayer we had a song we would sing; I remember part of it yet: ‘Another day has passed and gone, We lay our garments by.’” (“Chapter 2: God the Eternal Father,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, [2007], 36–44.)

Joseph Smith Sr.’s example is impressive. Keep in mind that at the time he was unchurched. When his son Alvin died, the preacher who spoke at the funeral suggested that Alvin had gone to hell because he was unbaptized. Smith was offended. He did not join any denomination until his son Joseph Smith organized the Mormon Church. (“Chapter 35: Redemption for the Dead,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, [2007], 401–11.)

Furthermore Joseph Smith Sr.’s example affects Mormons today. He influenced the prophet Joseph Smith, who in turn influenced Mormons in general. We stand on Joseph Smith’s shoulders as he stood on his father’s shoulders. Never underestimate the power of example, or the duration of example for that matter. Joseph Smith Sr.’s example of prayer and spiritual leadership is still echoing two centuries later.

It is crucial for men to be good role models. In the media, men are usually depicted as being either inadequate (i.e. Homer Simpson) or as evil (i.e. Hannibal Lector). However in the Mormon Church men are encouraged to be better, to be something more than oafs and sociopaths.

Howard W. Hunter, the fourteenth president of the Mormon Church advised men this way:

“A man who holds the priesthood leads his family in Church participation so they will know the gospel and be under the protection of the covenants and ordinances. If you are to enjoy the blessings of the Lord, you must set your own homes in order. Together with your wife, you determine the spiritual climate of your home. Your first obligation is to get your own spiritual life in order through regular scriptural study and daily prayer. Secure and honor your priesthood and temple covenants; encourage your family to do the same.”

“Take seriously your responsibility to teach the gospel to your family through regular family home evening, family prayer, devotional and scripture-reading time, and other teaching moments. Give special emphasis to preparation for missionary service and temple marriage. As patriarch in the home, exercise your priesthood through performing the appropriate ordinances for your family and by giving blessings to your wife and children. Next to your own salvation, brethren, there is nothing so important to you as the salvation of your wife and children.” (Howard W. Hunter, “Being a Righteous Husband and Father,” Ensign, Nov 1994, 49.)

That is why I love Mormonism: it has a place for men to be the type of men they should be. True manhood is cultivated and husbanded, and the world is a better place for it.

The family is a basic unit of society. However, its definition and expectations tend to also change with the whims of society. The Lord’s view of the family does not change. It is the most important aspect of our lives here on earth and is central to His plan for our happiness.

In 1995 the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued a scriptural proclamation to the world about their stand on the family. In it, the marriage relationship is clearly explained based on scriptural and gospel principles. In short, marriage is to be a partnership and ideally it is a progressive and wholesome relationship between two disciples and God, Himself. Members of the LDS Church believe that marriage, and the family unit it forms, is an eternal contract between a man and a woman and Heavenly Father. They are bound together in a commitment to goodness and happiness and desire to support each other in becoming more Christ-like.

If this is the goal of a marriage, how do our individual roles as disciples of Christ help us toward this type of eternal happiness? Simply put, we practice the same Christ-like traits within our home that we take with us out into the world.

In Genesis 2, the Lord councils Adam and Eve to cleave to each other and become one. When problems arise, our partner is still our first priority. Disciples look to their mate first and remain together and unified with the Lord in their goals and purposes. They do not turn to extended family and friends for comfort and council. They do not speak ill of their partner in front of others.

Marriage and family leaves little place for selfishness. Here, the world would have us think otherwise. But the Lord has said forget yourself and serve, consider another’s needs above your own and yours will be met as well. Following the example of Christ, you should never let a day go by where you have not considered your partner’s happiness and well-being.

Marriage is the ultimate act of charity. It is work and requires us to call into play every attribute of goodness and kindness that we can to support and help each other. When we remember to bring God into our marriages, we draw closer to Him and to each other. No family unit will reach perfection and exclusive happiness in this life. It is a process and commitment to those principles that focus on eternal goodness and a path that will lead us there. It takes firm and sometimes overwhelming commitment, but the Lord has promised us it is worth it. He has never hinted that His paths are easy. He has only assured us that the blessings would be obtainable within our best efforts and joyful in their outcome.

From the beginning of the world there have been prophets of God on the earth, except during the Dark Ages. Jehovah, who is also Jesus Christ, communicated with Adam and Eve in the Garden and from that day forward, the teachings of heaven were available to the children of men. Throughout the world's history we see, in the lives of His prophets, a foreshadowing of the mortal life of Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven.

Let's us first take a look at Abraham, a prophet of the Old Testament. Born a couple of thousand years before Jesus Christ, Abraham was asked by Jehovah to sacrifice Isaac, his only son by Sarah and only son born in the covenant.

Offered up for sacrifice by his father, when he was a child, (Abraham 1:7-19) Abraham must certainly have had deeply emotional and psychological scars and objections to the sacrifice of human beings, let alone by a father.

And so, let us read of Abraham's tremendous faith and trust in Jehovah, who is Jesus Christ:

And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.

And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.

Then on the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off.

And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.

And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together.

And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?

And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together.

And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.

And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

And the angel of the Lord called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.

And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.

And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.

And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovah-jireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen.

And the angel of the Lord called unto Abraham out of heaven the second time,

And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the Lord, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son:

That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies;

And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice. (Genesis 22:1-18)

Taken at surface level, this seems to push loyalty to God a little too far. But in looking deeper into this story we see it as a powerful lesson, archetype and foreshadow of Jesus Christ. Jehovah asked no more of Abraham than was being asked of Himself and His Father.

Many experts say that Isaac was in his early thirties, and therefore, not a child at all. Of course, in the scheme of Old Testament times, 30 would be considered to be very young in a lifespan of more than a century or two. However, it is said that he was in his early thirties, as was Jesus Christ who was 33 when He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane, was crucified and resurrected. It is also said by experts that Isaac knew full well what was going on and went willingly. If these assumptions are accurate, than we also see the tremendous faith, trust and love Isaac had in his father, Abraham, but also in Jehovah. It makes this a much more powerful lesson.

Andrew Skinner, the Executive Director of the Maxwell Institute formerly known as the Foundation for Ancient Research and Modern Studies wrote:

Here we remember the impressive discourse of Elder Melvin J. Ballard who said that he thought, as he read the story of Abraham's [near]sacrifice of his son Isaac, that our Father was trying "to tell us what it cost him to give his Son as a gift to the world. ... It must have pierced the heart of Father Abraham to hear the trusting and confiding son say: "You have forgotten the sacrifice." Looking at the youth, his son of promise, the poor father could only say: "The Lord will provide." ...

I presume Abraham, like a true father, must have given his son his farewell kiss, his blessing, his love, and his soul must have been drawn out in the agony toward this son who was to die by the hand of his own father. Every step proceeded until the cold steel was drawn, and the hand raised that was to strike the blow to let out the life's blood. Then the angel of the Lord said: "It is enough."

Our Father in Heaven went through all that and more, for in His case the hand was not stayed. (Andrew C. Skinner, Prophets, Priests and Kings, Deseret Book, Salt Lake City, 2005 34-35)

And so Abraham, a type and shadow of Heavenly Father, was asked to sacrifice his son, Isaac, just as Heavenly Father allowed the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ, for the redemption of all mankind. Not only could Abraham completely comprehend the fatherly feelings in such a circumstance, but certainly he could recall his experience as a child under the rule of a wicked father. This uniquely places him, as Skinner points out, in the position of not only understanding the feelings and emotions of the Father, but also the Son.

Skinner goes on to point out that just as Jesus Christ was Heavenly Father's Only Begotten Son in the flesh, Isaac was Abraham only son of the covenant. Just as Isaac carried the wood for the sacrifice, Jesus Christ carried His own cross. The similarities go on and on.

Often, I have wondered why Jehovah would ask this of Abraham. I have come to understand that we all must go through our own Abrahamic sacrifice. Certainly, we will not be asked to foreshadow the event which changed the course of mankind forever, the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. But each of us, in our lives, will be asked to follow God, to triumph over our trials rather than merely survive them. We are expected to learn to trust in God, completely and utterly without question or thought.

There is much we have to learn about Jesus Christ, His life, His mission and His Divine role. Not the least of which that the Lord prepares His people for all that is to come. Do we have eyes to see and ears to hear . . . will we study the scriptures, poring over the words of prophets and apostles so that our hearts, minds and spirits are lifted up above the mediocrity of life? Can we see in the near sacrifice of Isaac we can further began to understand the relationship between our Father in Heaven and our Savior, Jesus Christ and the full and complete sacrifices they made on behalf of mankind.

So whenever you hear of Abraham, remember the nuances of every part of his life and how it was a type and foreshadow of Jesus Christ.