This last weekend was my little sister's wedding reception. My sister and her husband were actually married, in the Mount Timpanogos Temple, back in February, but since the engagement was so short (a matter of days not months) we set the reception for this last weekend to have some breathing room in our planning. This also allowed certain family members the opportunity to make it across country to attend the reception where they weren't able to attend the Sealing. (In the temple worthy couples are not just married “till death do you part,” but rather they are sealed together and to God for time and all eternity.)

The reception was beautiful, yet not as beautiful as my little sister. When I looked at her, dressed in all her wedding finery I saw the scripture in Proverbs come to life,

"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life… Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all."Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-29

My sister is indeed a virtuous woman, like my mother, and Sarah and Eve before her. I could see this truth reflected in the eyes of her husband. I believe that he cherishes her, all the more, for it.

However, being the thoughtful and caring sort of person that she is, my sister wants me to find the same sort of happiness which she has found. Thinking of some of our conversations, when alone together of late, I am reminded of a similar conversation between two other close sisters,

``I am certainly the most fortunate creature that ever existed!' cried Jane. `Oh! Lizzy, why am I thus singled from my family, and blessed above them all! If I could but see you as happy! If there were but such another man for you!'

`If you were to give me forty such men, I never could be so happy as you. Till I have your disposition, your goodness, I never can have your happiness. No, no, let me shift for myself and, perhaps, if I have very good luck, I may meet with another Mr. Collins in time.'' (a conversation between Jane and Elizabeth Bennett in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice).

I often feel the same way. (Although not to the point of considering, one of the many, Mr. Collins' of my acquaintance) I am so happy for my beloved sister, and know that she wants the same happiness in return for me. Which is probably why she did what she did at the end of her reception.

It is common practice at the end of a wedding reception for all the eligible single women to gather together for the bouquet toss. The bride throws her bouquet and whoever catches it is said to be the next bride. In my 25 years I have been the lucky (?) maiden, to have caught the bouquet many times. To no effect I might say.

My sister feeling that her bouquet was special, decided that she would do a little maneuvering as to who would catch it. As the reception grew late, more then once a hopeful young woman would ask about when she was going to perform the bouquet toss. Each time my sister would reply soon and go back to what she was doing.

I wasn't really paying attention to what was going on, for I was enjoying conversing with dear friends and dancing with sweet nephews and cousins. I didn't realize what my little sister was plotting until she caught me at a moment where only men were around and called out my name. I turned just in time to be hit in the face by her wedding bouquet. As I looked up into her grinning face, I acknowledged her victory.

Who knows maybe this time the age old tradition will work and I will be the next to marry. I am sure I wouldn't mind it if it did turn out that way.

Do you remember hearing the saying “It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, as long as you do your best”? It’s most often used for children on sports teams and in other forms of competition. Some of us believed that, some of us didn’t.

What made the difference? Was it the type of competition we were facing, or the attitude of those around us, was it our own attitudes about what winning and losing meant to us?

I think many of us carry those childhood beliefs about wining and losing into our adult lives with us. There are so many things in this life that we are supposed to “get right” or “win” at, not the least of which is our path toward Christ. But, who decides if we win or lose?

Sometimes we decide, sometimes we base our wins on the opinions of others – family, friends or peers. How often do we let Christ decide?

If He were giving us a pep talk about our lives do you think it would be “It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, as long as you do your best”? I’m not so sure it would be. Our Savior loves us dearly, he paid a great sacrifice for us to be able to make up for our shortcomings, but I don’t remember anywhere in His teachings where it says, “You must win at all games if you expect to win with me.” They don’t really say much about the win or lose part. But they do have a lot to say about “Do Your Best”.

What is our best, in terms of Christ’s standards? It’s a very personal thing. “Best” is not the same for everyone, nor is it the same for everything one person does. “Best” is based on who we are, and what God knows of our hearts.

“Best” is not trying to excel above another. “Best” is not even trying to excel within our own life to a level that takes us away from Christ. “Best” is a measure of where our heart is, and what we hope to accomplish with our actions. It’s not our own analysis of what we could have done better. That can be helpful for the future, but it is not helpful for judging things that have already passed.

Does that seem a little odd? “Best” is a measure of the moment. It is a question of – in that moment, in that situation, were we doing the best we could? Jesus Christ does not require us to be in competition at all. He does not require us to be perfect in everything or even one thing in this life. He does ask us to take the gift of life that we are given and make the most of it every day. He asks us to be a little more perfect each day, or in other words to be more like Him with every passing day. Some days our best may be much greater or less than other days, and that’s okay. He is not comparing us against our neighbor, or even Himself, He is only looking at us through our own potential and path.

I think we are often harder on ourselves and each other than we need to be. We are not judges, we do not have the perspective and knowledge to be such, and yet we seem to spend an enormous amount of time doing just that. We judge ourselves, we judge our neighbor, and none of it turns out very well at all. I wonder why we continue to do it then? Because somewhere along the line we each learned that life is a competition and we didn’t believe the well-meaning person who said winning or losing didn’t matter when it clearly defined that one was better than the other. We all want our best to be The Best, but unfortunately our limited perception does not let us see the Lord’s definition of what that is.

We need to spend more time figuring out what the Lord needs from us and less time trying to figure out how we measure up against our neighbor. How would our lives change if we looked to Him first rather than the rulers of the world? How would it be if we took our pep talks from Christ rather than our peers?

His council never changes, “do your best” that’s all. Are we actually trying to do that? Then our best will always be good enough for the Lord.

It is, for me, one of the most remarkable examples of what can happen when we are faced with the choice of following the Lord, or turning away from His ways. Though the story of Lehi’s family, which can be found in the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ, lasts far longer than one post can hold, the pattern is set in just the first few chapters of 1 Nephi.

600 years before Christ was born, a humble man in Jerusalem took to heart the teachings of the Lord’s prophets concerning the wickedness of the people in his city. This man believed their words so much he began to preach them as well. He even received a vision that served to strengthen his commitment. This conversion didn’t exactly make him a favorite among his friends. Even his two eldest sons began to mock him, calling him a visionary man, and other titles meant to poke fun.

As hostility against his teachings grew, the man began to fear for his family. Knowing what would happen to the city due to the unrepentant hearts of its’ inhabitants, the man took his family away from what was probably the only home they had ever know. They left behind a comfortable life, many gold, jewels and other riches, as well as good friends.

At the time they left the city of Jerusalem, Lehi had four sons and two daughters that we know of. The two oldest, Laman and Lemuel, were selfish creatures, slow to remember their God, and often described as stiffnecked and continually murmuring and inciting others to stir up their up their hearts to anger (1 Nephi 16:38) against those in authority. Laman in particular resented his father, who took him from his comfortable life because he claimed to have heard a voice, and Nephi, a younger brother who, in his eyes, was constantly trying to usurp Laman’s birthright as the eldest. Lemuel, who was just as selfish as Laman, gladly followed Laman’s every move.

And then there was Nephi. Nephi was an obedient son, respectful of his parents and the good upbringing they had provided for the family. It is Nephi’s example, and that of his younger brother, Sam, that I would like to look at with you today.

Shortly after Lehi brings his family into the wilderness we begin to see the difference between Laman and Nephi. Laman took to murmuring, not understanding why all of this was happening. He had no reason to believe his precious Jerusalem would be destroyed. If he had only followed the example of his younger brother, perhaps many of his questions would have been answered.

If we look in the 1 Nephi chapter 2, verse 16, we can see what it is Nephi did that convinced him his father had done the right thing:

“And it came to pass that I, Nephi, being exceedingly young, nevertheless being large in stature, and also having great desires to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers.”

With a humble heart and a contrite spirit Nephi took the matter to the Lord in prayer, and he was answered. The spirit witnessed the truth of it to him. He knew that his father had made the right choice. He knew that the Lord was speaking to his father in visions. And he knew that it was important to listen to the requests of his father, for he was speaking on behalf of the Lord.

One of the first things Nephi did after receiving this witness was to bear his testimony to that of his younger brother, Sam. In verse 17 we read:

“And I spake unto Sam, making known unto him the things which the Lord had manifested unto me by his Holy Spirit. And it came to pass that he believed in my words.”

How wonderful is it that Sam was able to believe merely by hearing the testimony of his brother. What faith this young man must have had. It puts me in mind of the scripture found in Doctrine and Covenants section 46:13-14.

“To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world. To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.”

Nephi knew through the witness of the Holy Ghost. Sam knew because of the words Nephi spoke. Nephi didn’t stop with bearing his testimony to Sam. He took it to the rest of the family as well. Laman and Lemuel wouldn’t listen, choosing instead to murmur against their father because life had suddenly turned very hard and inconvenient. This bothered Nephi, who once again turned to the Lord to voice his frustrations. The Lord told Nephi his brothers had to choose their own way, but if they chose to go against the Lord, he would have to be a leader in their place.

We all have the option to listen to the words of our parents and leaders and choose what to do with their guidance. Will we stop to talk with the Lord, trusting that He will give us the confirmation that their words are from Him? Or will we murmur, choosing to rebel and fall away? The choice is ours, of course. Just remember it is in choosing the Lord’s path that we will find true happiness.

I have this bad habit. I don't think I had it as a child. I seem to have developed it in my youth, and it has only gotten worse as I have grown into single adulthood. What is this habit I am talking about? I am always trying to do too much. I put so much on my plate that I either can't do it all and then end up beating myself up over it. Or, I do manage to do it all, and get so burned out that I crash and am worthless for a period of time afterwards.

I am told that this is a problem that most women suffer from. As women, we naturally have a lot that we have to juggle in our lives. Even more so once we are married and have children and a household for which we are responsible. Maybe that is why God blessed us with the wonderful ability to multi-task. And yet the more I develop that ability, the worse this problem seems to become, not better. It seems as if the more I can handle the more I load myself down with things to do.

Sometimes I wonder if this is just what God expects of me, and that I just need to learn how to handle. But this isn't what God wants of his children, especially his daughters. President Gordon B. Hinckley the 15th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka the Mormons) said to the women of the church,

"I feel to invite women everywhere to rise to the great potential within you. I do not ask that you reach beyond your capacity. I hope you will not nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. I hope you will not try to set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. I hope you will simply do what you can do in the best way you know. If you do so, you will witness miracles come to pass." President Gordon B. Hinckley

The Lord doesn't expect us to do more then we are able. He just wants us to do our best.

This requires us to prioritize our responsibilities and commitments to see what needs to be done now, and what can be done later. As President Hinckley once counseled, we can do everything, just not all at once. There is a proper time and season for everything. We need to use wisdom to see what the proper time, and the season for each responsibility in our life is.

This lesson was reemphasized in my mind the other night as I read in the Book of Mormon,

"And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order." Mosiah 4:27

I hope that we can all learn how to use wisdom and order in how we handle the responsibilities in our lives and that we can be diligent, and yet healthy in all we endeavor to do. I feel that this way, we can all win the prize.

Many new converts have Primary-aged children and a few children even join the church on their own during the Primary years. These children present a special challenge and extraordinary opportunities for the teachers and leaders.

Some of the children, especially those who are preschool age, have no experience with organized activities. They won’t know how to sit quietly and they don’t have the nursery experience that prepares most children for Sunbeams. In my ward, newcomers often race around the room, overstimulated by the size of the Primary room and all the new children. They don’t know the songs and often don’t understand the teachings—we might as well be teaching in a strange new language.

The first priority is for the child to have a positive experience. This doesn’t mean you need to let him run wild. It’s easier to set rules from the start than it is to change them later. However, the new child may not be able to reach the level of behavior of the more experienced children. I’ve taught children who, after six months, were up to 20 minutes of sitting before they had to go for a walk.

Give the child as much assistance as possible by having him sit with you so you can help him behave or understand things. In class, be sure to keep your explanations very simple. I once taught the grandchild of a Baptist minister. For the several months he attended my ward, he struggled with the concepts of God and Jesus as individual beings, and of premortal life. Every week, we had to go back to the beginning, showing the pictures of the First Vision to remind him God and Jesus were two people, not one. Things you might take for granted are not easily understood by newcomers.

Be patient with their old traditions. My ward has many baptisms, and when the children are asked to draw pictures in sharing time, the pictures displayed around the room often contain crosses and other Catholic symbols. We say nothing about them. The children will learn soon enough how to draw LDS symbols instead.

Don’t correct a child who doesn’t follow correct prayer patterns. Instead, in future lessons, review how prayer is accomplished and let the children learn as they’re ready. It’s important not to embarrass them or they won’t want to return.

Stay in close contact with the parents, who may be a little nervous about letting you teach their child. Send home newsletters explaining what was taught and offering your contact information. Getting to know the parents makes it easier for you to trust them
See your role as one of a missionary, helping to bring your young students to the gospel or to build on the brand new testimony the child is gaining. Even the very youngest convert can begin to build a true testimony with your help.