It seems nearly every day there is something else astonishing in the news--most of it bad or repugnant. Short of hiding our heads in the sand or hibernating in a cave until the Second Coming, we will be faced with crass or even overtly sick material in the media from time to time. What is a parent to do? How do we prepare our children for that which they will most likely see, if not already seen?

News articles in the last month have talked about teen girls texting nude photos of themselves to unsuspecting guys in their high school or middle school classes--all in the hopes the boy will want to ask them out on a date. What is a parent to do? How do we prepare our sons for these kinds of matters?

Other researchers have now said that nearly half of high school students know fellow students with porn on their cell phones. What is a parent to do? How can we help prepare our children for the onslaught of evil that now is engulfing this planet?

Talk to any social psychologist who has studied longitudinally the effects of pornography. They will speak to the chemical changes it induces in the brain. They will speak to the numbing effect it has on "right and wrong." Pornography is not harmless "entertainment," much as the purveyors of this "entertainment" will put forth (remember, they profit from those addicted to the stuff).

Again, what is a parent to do for their children, especially those who are young and not aware of what lurks out there in the world? I think Brigham Young's counsel is pertinent for our children today (Brigham Young was one of the early presidents for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the official title for the Mormon church). He said:

"Learn...and be prepared for the most refined society upon the face of the earth, then improve upon this until we are prepared and permitted to enter the society of the blessed--the holy angels that dwell in the presence of God" (Journal of Discourses 16:77).

It's a funny thing about magnetic attraction. Heard the saying, "Like attracts like"? Building a refined family will help shape refined children. Refined children will be more likely to be drawn toward refined literature, activities, and endeavors. They will be more likely to shun that which is crass, vulgar, or rude.

How do we build refinement in our children? Again, Brigham Young gave this counsel:

"Our education should be such as to improve our minds and fit us for increased usefulness; to make us of greater service to the human family, to enable us to stop our rude methods of living, speaking, and thinking" (The Prophets Have Spoken, Vol 1, p 626).

Brigham Young wasn't just speaking about grade school and high school years when he spoke of education; he was speaking of our lifelong journey on this earth.

As parents we can set the example of refined living and education (that which we learn from) by what we choose to watch, what we choose to wear, what we choose to read, and so on. The more refined we are, the more likely our children will follow suit. And the better equipped they will be to handle the vulgarities of the world!

Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful.

The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process. (President James E. Faust)

Adversity is a given in life. We will all experience it. It is for this very reason that we are here in this mortal journey - to prove ourselves through our trials and tribulations. During times of adversity, some choose to abandon faith in the Lord. Others choose to remain steadfast and true. They choose to hold fast to their faith and continue to serve the Lord and their fellowmen.

Service is a big part of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We may be asked to teach Sunday school, conduct music, teach small children, lead the congregation, teach early morning Seminary, help with the Sunday bulletin, or be a visiting teacher. It really doesn't matter where in the Church we're asked to serve. What matters is that we serve to the best of our abilities. What matters is that we use the talents the Lord has blessed us with to serve Him and our fellowmen in whatever capacity we're asked to serve.

I've seen and felt the hand of adversity this year. I've also witnessed an outpouring of blessings through the selfless service of others.

Yesterday, I was released as the Relief Society (women's organization of the Church) president in our ward (local Church unit). This basically means that as of yesterday, I'm no longer the Relief Society president for our ward. A release from a calling in the Church usually comes about when one is being called to serve somewhere else, is moving out of the ward, when personal or family circumstances change, or it might simply be time to give someone else an opportunity to serve in that position. We're moving back to the West Coast in a week!

As the Relief Society president, I came to love each of the women in the ward. However, there is a special place in my heart for those sisters who experienced great adversity over the past year. Some sisters have serious health related challenges. Others are struggling financially. There are problems in marriages and other family relationships. The list goes on. Each is dealing with trials and adversity in her own way. With faith in the Lord and with help from her sisters in the Relief Society, each sister continues to move forward, one step at a time.

Sometimes, serving and helping someone else does require a lot from us, but I've found that these times are very rare. Most times, it's the small and sincere acts of love that go a long way in easing someone else's load. Often times, it doesn't cost us anything except an hour or two of our time. At times, a smile, a kind word, a true friend, is all that is needed. Someone who will listen and not judge. Someone who understands, who cares, who looks past the shortcomings to the person inside. Someone who is willing to share another's burden, even if it is just for a few minutes.

Alma, a prophet of the Book of Mormon taught us that to become true disciples of Jesus Christ, we must be willing to bear one another's burden.

And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life. (Mosiah 18:8-9)

A wonderful thing happens when we strive to serve and help others during their trials - we forget to dwell on our challenges. Our problems may not disappear completely but somehow our perspective changes. What once seemed insurmountable is not quite so overwhelming. We stop feeling sorry for ourselves.

I'm filled with gratitude for the examples of these sisters. Despite personal trials, these sisters chose to serve and help someone else. They remind me on a constant basis that each of us is our sister's keeper. We are indeed our brothers' keepers!

Selfless service is a wonderful antidote to the ills that flow from the worldwide epidemic of self-indulgence. Some grow bitter or anxious when it seems that not enough attention is being paid to them, when their lives would be so enriched if only they paid more attention to the needs of others.

The answer lies in helping to solve the problems of those around us rather than worrying about our own, living to lift burdens even when we ourselves feel weighed down, putting our shoulder to the wheel instead of complaining that the wagons of life seem to be passing us by.

Stretching our souls in service helps us to rise above our cares, concerns, and challenges. As we focus our energies on lifting the burdens of others, something miraculous happens. Our own burdens diminish. We become happier. There is more substance to our lives.
(Elder David S. Baxter of the Seventy).

When the teenaged Nephi, the first Book of Mormon writer whose work we still have, received his first vision, it was in response to his desire to gain a testimony of the vision his father had just seen. While pondering and praying, an angel came to instruct him.

The angel asked young Nephi if he knew the meaning of the tree in his father’s vision. Nephi responded that it represented God’s love, “which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things.” (1 Nephi 11:22) The angel agreed and added, “Yea, and the most joyous to the soul.”

There are millions of articles in magazines and on the Internet, thousands of books, hundreds of television programs devoted to the theme of how to get someone to love you. Do you ever long to have someone who will love you even on the days you’re less than perfect? You already have two such people—God and Jesus.

We are all children of a heavenly Father and He loves us. He is able to love us because we lived with Him as spirits before we came here—when people talk poetically of babies coming from Heaven, we can know this is literally true. While there, we enjoyed His presence and His teachings, and we learned to make choices. He watched us, learned about us and interacted with us—and loved us as we grew in our ability to choose.

One choice we made was to follow the Savior when we came to earth. Not everyone made this choice. One third of those in Heaven preferred to follow Satan, and those were denied the opportunity to come to earth. Just by being here, we know we made the critical decision at a critical moment in eternity. We chose wisely, and so we came to earth, bringing God’s love with us.

Because memory of that time is largely erased, except for small flashes of remembrance, we operate here on faith. We have to rediscover God’s love for us, and learn to feel it even though He is far away, just as we remember our earthly parents’ love for us when we live across the country or across the world.

We can’t intentionally ignore God and His teachings and expect to feel His love with us all the time. While God certainly does not expect that we’ll be perfect here on earth, He does expect us to give it our very best effort. The Savior, representing God, said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” (John 14:15)

Further down the page, in verse 23, Jesus added, “Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.”

So we can see that although God sent us here in love, we who know of Him have a responsibility. If we’re not doing what He asks of us, when we know what He asks, then we don’t love Him enough. Jesus puts a gentle condition on the fullness of God’s love for us: “If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him.” Again, this isn’t to say we must be perfect, but we must always be working toward perfection.

Russell M. Nelson, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, helps us to understand this concept:

“Does this mean the Lord does not love the sinner? Of course not. Divine love is infinite and universal. The Savior loves both saints and sinners. The Apostle John affirmed, “We love him, because he first loved us.” And Nephi, upon seeing in vision the Lord’s mortal ministry, declared: “The world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.” We know the expansiveness of the Redeemer’s love because He died that all who die might live again.”Russell M. Nelson, “Divine Love,” Ensign, Feb 2003, 20

Although he speaks of the Savior, we know that God and Jesus are exactly united in their teachings. Elder Nelson carries this further, to help us understand the eternal consequences of this teaching:

“God declared that His work and glory is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” Thanks to the Atonement, the gift of immortality is unconditional. The greater gift of eternal life, however, is conditional. In order to qualify, one must deny oneself of ungodliness and honor the ordinances and covenants of the temple. The resplendent bouquet of God’s love—including eternal life—includes blessings for which we must qualify, not entitlements to be expected unworthily. Sinners cannot bend His will to theirs and require Him to bless them in sin. If they desire to enjoy every bloom in His beautiful bouquet, they must repent.”Russell M. Nelson, “Divine Love,” Ensign, Feb 2003, 20

And so, we can depend on God to love us and to help us through this mortal challenge He has offered us. In return, we must do our part and demonstrate the depth of our love through the depth of our commitment to live His teachings.

Nephi, the first prophet whose writings we have in the Book of Mormon, was given a vision of the Savior when He was still a teenager. In 1 Nephi 11:14-21 we read of the birth of the Savior, as seen by young Nephi in the vision:

14 And it came to pass that I saw the heavens open; and an angel came down and stood before me; and he said unto me: Nephi, what beholdest thou?
15 And I said unto him: A virgin, most beautiful and fair above all other virgins.
16 And he said unto me: Knowest thou the condescension of God?
17 And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.
18 And he said unto me: Behold, the virgin whom thou seest is the mother of the Son of God, after the manner of the flesh.
19 And it came to pass that I beheld that she was carried away in the Spirit; and after she had been carried away in the Spirit for the space of a time the angel spake unto me, saying: Look!
20 And I looked and beheld the virgin again, bearing a child in her arms.
21 And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father!

Latter-day Saints know Jesus is the literal son of both Mary and Heavenly Father. His birth was indeed a divine miracle. Elder Bruce R. McConkie taught: “Just as Jesus is literally the Son of Mary, so he is the personal and literal offspring of God the Eternal Father, who himself is an exalted personage having a tangible body of flesh and bones.”

Joseph, a faithful and humble man, was chosen by God to carry out the earthly duties of a father for Jesus, caring for Jesus, teaching Him, and helping Mary to prepare Him for His future mission. He was, essentially, a foster father, not the literal, physical father of Jesus.

While there are those who seek to remove the divinity behind the Savior’s birth, we know that to remove the divinity of His birth would also remove the divinity of His life. His mission on earth, to redeem us all, could only be possible if His birth had happened the way the scriptures say they happened—through divine and sacred miracles.

Jesus, like every man who ever lived, must have a father, and that Father was God Himself, providing the divinity that made possible the things that Jesus did during His lifetime. While all of us are literal children of God, only Jesus was begotten, with no other father but God. It is because of this, because God was willing to give us His only Begotten Son to endure the extraordinary trials of the Garden of Gethsemane and the cross that we can return home and live forever, possibly even in the direct presence of God.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” –John 3:16