People familiar with the Book of Mormon usually refer to the story of the broken bow as Nephi’s story, because he was the hero of it all. You can read the entire story summarized in Nephi and the Broken Bow.

As you read the story, note that although it’s told by Nephi from his own point of view, there are many other people in the story, and each of them have their own story-within-the-story. For Nephi, it is a story of solving problems. For Laman and Lemuel, it is a story of murmuring—again. For Lehi, however, it was a story of learning humility.

Lehi was a great prophet. He was called from a life of privilege to warn the people of Jerusalem to repent. He accepted this call from God and risked, and eventually sacrificed, everything to carry it out. When the preaching was done, his life was in danger, and God was instructing him to leave behind his home and possessions and head for a yet unknown destination.

Through all of this, Lehi never complained or lost faith. He didn’t complain when asked to give up a comfortable life to try to reform people who didn’t want reforming. He didn’t complain when they didn’t listen. He didn’t complain or lose faith when they tried to kill him. Even having to leave his entire lifestyle behind didn’t cause him to complain or to lose faith. He kept right on doing whatever God asked of him, however hard it might be.

But now, for the first time, Lehi struggled. His family was facing starvation. Nephi, the skilled hunter, broke his bow. They were unable to obtain food and there was certainly nowhere to go buy food or a new bow. For the first time ever, Lehi found himself complaining at and about God.

Only his teenaged son Nephi refused to lose faith. Nephi trusted God and set out to do what needed to be done. But first, he went to work trying to restore the faith of his family.

We learn a great deal about Lehi from his reaction to this event. Although Nephi spoke only to his brothers about what the proper attitude should be, clearly Lehi heard or was aware of what was happening. He didn’t get angry at Nephi for refusing to despair with the others. This is probably remarkable. We’ve all seen that people have a tendency to resent positive people when they are feeling discouraged. Lehi, however, didn’t get upset. It’s likely he paid attention and allowed Nephi’s words to soften his own heart,which prepared him for what came next.

Nephi, who had gone on to make a new, simpler bow and arrows, came to his father. Ignoring Lehi’s temporary lapse of faith, Nephi sought his father’s advice in deciding where to hunt with the new equipment. Lehi, probably feeling a bit embarrassed, went to God to ask what to do.

25 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came unto my father; and he was truly chastened because of his murmuring against the Lord, insomuch that he was brought down into the depths of sorrow.–1 Nephi 16

Nephi is telling the story and so, doesn’t discuss, if he even knew, what process his father had to go through to repent and to put his faith back in order. What is clear, however, is that Lehi was willing to learn from any worthy source, even a young adult son. We also see that he was not willing to allow a brief moment of weakness destroy a lifetime of faith. When given the opportunity to return to leadership by Nephi, he accepted and humbly asked the Lord for help in solving the family emergency.

Lehi serves as a model for humility in life, parenting, and leadership.

It’s the growing season and I’ve just planted my seeds in our garden. What a thrill to watch something so small grow into something so miraculous and productive.

It’s also a week before my kids are out of school for the summer. I take a deep breath and feel a pang of anxiety, wondering if I am ready for them to be home all day long. But I know that we will quickly settle into a summer routine and all will be well.

More than that, I know that summer is the perfect growing season for my children. It is a season of long stretches of unscheduled time. There are fewer deadlines and more rest. There are no organized sports or homework. It is not a time to listen to complaints of boredom (although I am sure I will hear that, too). Instead, it is the perfect time to plant a seed of potential and watch it grow for the next three months.

In a church talk on Sunday, the speaker discussed a belief of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (known as the Mormons). He noted that there are three things that we can take with us after this life is over: our learning and experience, church ordinances and our family relationships.

Learning lasts. In a book of scripture called the Doctrine and Covenants, it states:

Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. (D&C 130:18)

Learning becomes knowledge. Knowledge authors skill. Skill develops potential. Our children have untapped potential which is both earthly and divine. They can become anything and can do anything.

So how do we help our kids dig up that potential and get it to grow? One experience taught me what grows potential and what kills it.

One summer, I decided to follow a recommendation by a child development researcher who said that kids should become a neighborhood or family “expert” on something. This helps to develop skill and increase confidence.

I decided that it would be our summer project. I asked my children what they wanted to become an “expert” on, and my fourth grader chose computer animation.

Like a gardener who gives a plant basic elements to grow, I stood back and watched in amazement as he downloaded a free 30-day trial for the software, then bought the product with his own money, spent hours on online tutorials and mastered the Macromedia Flash product over the summer. His learning and endurance was shocking to my husband and me. He was willing to sacrifice everything he had to offer to learn this new skill.

The next summer, I asked the kids the same question. This time, I suggested that my son continue his Flash skill and learn to build web sites. I bought an online class for him and offered to hire a tutor. I asked him to build me a web site. He said he would, then sat down and played computer games for the next two weeks. Clearly, I had done something to kill the seed of potential.

Like the 5 elements for a plant: dirt, sun, air, water, and time, I learned that there are also 5 elements for the growth of potential.

A Supportive Environment (Dirt)
A supportive home environment is like dirt for potential. Parents don’t create the seed of passion-driven potential, but we can help it grow. Instead of ignoring or putting off the dreams, we can say “yes.” Asking questions and listening seems to be the right approach to get the seed planted at the right depth. Questions like “Tell me about your interest.” “How do you want to go about learning that?” “What can you do to help us fit that in to our schedule” and “How can we help?” works well.

Ownership (Sun)
Ownership is like the sun. Our Father in Heaven knows our need to make choices. Our earthly existence is based on this principle of agency. It is through these choices that we progress. We must remember that our children are doing the learning, not us. When we ask “Don’t you really want to learn about…?” or say “That looks cool. Can I learn it at the same time?” or “Tell me all about it. I want to hear every detail.” We are standing over them, blocking their light or are asking them to move over because we want to grow. When we encourage them to take ownership, they are in full sun.

Sacrifice (Air)
Reaching for their goal by sacrifice is the air they need to grow. When we want it so badly for them that we reach for them or over-help because we don’t want them to fail, we take away their air and smother them. We can give choices and allow them to define their own purpose. Because they have purpose, they will willingly sacrifice time, energy and money to develop their potential. Surprisingly, when they have purpose, it doesn’t seem like sacrifice or work to them.

Recognize Their Progress (Water)
When we recognize their progress, it is like pouring water on the seed. It encourages and fosters growth. If we show no interest or say nothing, we are drying them out. When we over-praise and say “That is the most incredible thing in the world I have ever seen. You are an amazing genius,” we are over-watering and flooding them out, weakening their root structure. When we say, “Wow. Smart thinking. Your initiative is impressive. I am interested in what you are learning. Tell me about it,” we are watering at the right amount.

Time
Just like a plant, potential needs time to grow. They need uninterrupted time to dig deeply into their subject. Summer is ideal. When we are rushed or overscheduled, they have no time to discover their passion. Likewise, if we offer non-stop entertainment, they will always be distracted. Without time to think, they can never consider or discover their potential. And when we watch over them constantly, it’s like pulling up the plant to see if the roots are growing.

With these 5 elements, our children can grow the seeds of potential. They can grow and learn. Their new skill prepares them for service – they have something they can contribute.

Their new knowledge and skills can be combined with faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to help them achieve both their earthly and divine potential. They can use their skills and knowledge to serve God and their fellow man.

Sheri Dew, former counselor in the Mormon women’s organization, tells us the importance of understanding our potential. We all have a divine mission and purpose, and no one can take our place.

“The Lord knows who we are, where we are, what our mission is, and what we need in order to accomplish that mission. Not only has He known us for a long, long time, He has loved us for a long, long time. We are here now because we are supposed to be here now. No one else can have the influence or do the good that we were prepared and foreordained to have and do. No one else can fulfill our individual missions.” (No One Can Take Your Place, Dew, 207)

This summer, I look forward to seeing something small grow into something miraculous. In my garden and at home, I am looking forward to this year’s growing season.

In the previous post, I outlined the story of the teenaged Nephi, a future prophet, who went into the wilderness with his family at God’s command. In the course of the journey to a new home, Nephi, the family hunter, broke his bow and the family faced potential starvation. You can read the entire summary in Nephi and the Broken Bow.

One of the lessons we learn from this story is how God expects us to handle challenges. While the rest of the family whined and complained, Nephi went to work. First he tried to soothe his family’s nerves by reminding them of essential gospel principles. Then he set out to solve the problem as far as he was able to do so without help. He didn’t rush to God and say, “Make my broken bow whole again,” or “Leave a brand new bow lying over there in the bushes, please.” No, Nephi was self-reliant. He quietly went to work making a new bow. It wasn’t as elegant as the steel bow he’d broken. It was only made of wood, with a few sticks to use as arrows, but it would work and was a solution. For good measure, he also made a slingshot that could use rocks as weapons. Nephi took responsibility for his own well-being to the extent of his ability.

Next, Nephi went to his father for advice. This demonstrated his understanding of leadership chain of command and also showed respect for the man who was both his father and his church leader. He asked his father where he should go to do his hunting with his new, less powerful bow. Lehi then showed his own understanding of proper problem solving technique. Because he was probably unfamiliar with this new wilderness area, he went to the Lord. This was not something he could do on his own, but he knew God knew where prey was to be found.

Finally, Nephi accepted the spiritual guidance given to him by God and through his father and did exactly as God told him to do. This was Nephi’s normal pattern—he was an obedient and respectful young man.

It can seem easy to simply turn to God for everything we need, trusting in the adage, “God will provide.” However, if God were to simply hand us everything without any effort on our own part, He would be a poor parent, and God is perfect. Therefore, He parents perfectly. He expects us to do our part in order to help us to grow, develop our skills, and become self-reliant.

This is clearly a concept Nephi understood. He knew how to make a bow, so he made one without going to God for advice. Later in the narrative, he would be commanded by God to make a boat. As a desert child, he certainly had no experience with boats, so this time he would turn to God for advice on how to proceed. But when it came to bows, something Nephi, a skilled hunter understood, he took care of himself and sought advice only when he could no longer resolve the problems on his own.

Mary Ellen W. Smoot, a former General Relief Society President, taught,

From His prophets on down, the Lord has empowered His servants to come unto Him, to repent, and to seek for solutions. Not alone, but with God’s inspiration and support, prophets have had to solve enormous problems. Think of Nephi with his broken bow. Think of the brother of Jared with his dark boats. Think of Captain Moroni in the heat of battle. Any and every Church leader has had to “study it out” (D&C 9:8), humbly present a solution to the Lord, and then faithfully act upon it as guided by the Spirit. The Lord perfectly sustains, but He usually does not solve problems for us. Surely He could have given Nephi a new bow. He could have just commanded the brother of Jared to bring Him some rocks. He could have won all of Moroni’s battles for him. But higher laws were at stake. Learning and growing had to take place.

This process is vital to our spiritual growth and cannot take place as long as we look to other people, circumstances, programs, or institutions to solve problems for us. President Brigham Young (1801–77) taught, “Instead of searching after what the Lord is going to do for us, let us inquire what we can do for ourselves” (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [1954], 293). Then we can take it to the Lord for confirmation.-- Mary Ellen W. Smoot, “Seeking Solutions,” Ensign, Feb 2002, 42

Nephi exactly demonstrated the proper procedures for coping with challenges—soothe others if needed, solve as much of the problem as you can alone, seek counsel when you are no longer able to continue alone (through a leader, advisor, or prayer) and then follow the counsel.

John chapter 6 opens with the Savior and His disciples on a mountain, or a place of sacredness, perhaps for personal meditation or to prepare for the coming Passover. Christ did have trials and sorrows in His mortal life. Though he was always the perfect example of Heavenly Father’s ways, the world around Him was not. He just chose to focus on righteousness rather than the trials, part of this was noticing and placing the needs of others above His own. For any of us, that’s not an easy thing to do. There were plenty of difficult things going on in the Savior’s life that He might have needed to ponder and pray about, but at some point Christ looked up and acknowledged the crowd that had followed Him.

Let’s look at what the Savior did when He saw the multitude in this account. He noticed their hunger and asked His disciples how their needs could be filled. He asked if there were traditional or expected solutions to the problem, partly to recognize this as a first step and partly to make sure those around Him acknowledged the absence of normal means to solve the problem. When there was not a way for them to feed themselves He provided divine intervention. He took what seemed a meager offering and fed the five thousand. When it was done He gathered what was left so that nothing would be lost. There was an abundance left over to gather.

There are two lessons here for the disciple.

The first is the role of the Savior in our lives. He sees our needs. He asks us to look for the normal and reasonable ways to help ourselves, but He doesn’t leave us alone when these options prove insufficient. At that point His divine intervention is always available. He takes the little we have to offer and turns it into more than enough to fill our needs. His grace and love is unlimited. There will always be more than enough. He’ll never run out of ability and ways to help us if we offer up our part and accept His offering in return. He has more than 5000 ways to succor up His disciples.

The second is our role in following His example. Because we serve and follow Him, our priority is helping and serving our fellow man in His name. We follow the same pattern as the Savior. First, we notice others more than ourselves. Second we look for normal and available means of helping the person or allowing them to help themselves. When this is not an option, we take our meager offering, the little bit we can do for them, and offer it to the Lord to magnify. Then, there will be more than enough for all. Lastly, we notice what has been accomplished and gather those blessings to us so that nothing is lost and we are sustained until the next time we can be of service.

Just as the Savior’s capacity to love and serve us knows no bounds, this is the attitude we are trying to develop. Start a service record or journal, how long will it take you to provide 5000 acts of service and what do you think will be left when you and those you associate with have been filled? Perhaps more importantly, how long will it take before you’ve recorded 5000 ways the Savior has blessed you?

I have two dear sisters who are in their early forties and have never been married. They live together and strive for a measure of happiness and belonging, but nothing can wipe away their deep yearning for a companion of the heart with whom they can share their lives.

Whether you are a member of a church or not, you likely find that sometimes it is even difficult to go to church because there are so many families—indeed perhaps at times it even might seem that God is a God of families, not of singles.

But there is nothing further from the truth. God loves you. You are His child. Whether married or single, you are His and He knows you.

Show Him that you know Him by being constant in prayer, scripture study and keeping the commandments. Always remember that He will give you the guidance and support you need if you will invite Him into your life. Make God your constant Companion—include Him in your decision making, and in all that you do. When you feel discouraged and your loneliness rings like a bell in your heart, pray. The Book of Mormon prophet Zenos declared, “And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity” (http://scriptures.lds.org/alma/33/11#11 Alma 33:11.)

Though it hardly repairs the ache of loneliness altogether, President Gordon B. Hinckley, former President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said:

“I believe that for most of us the best medicine for loneliness is work and service in behalf of others. I do not minimize your problems, but I do not hesitate to say that there are many others whose problems are more serious than yours. Reach out to serve them, to help them, to encourage them. There are so many boys and girls who fail in school for want of a little personal attention and encouragement. There are so many elderly people who live in misery and loneliness and fear for whom a simple conversation would bring a measure of hope and brightness” (“A Conversation with Single Adults,” Liahona, Nov. 1997, 20.)

Being single does not mean you have to put off being happy. As President Harold B. Lee (1899–1973) once said: “Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but on what happens inside of you. It is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life” (“A Sure Trumpet Sound: Quotations from President Lee,” Ensign, Feb. 1974, 78.)

Though you still have to go home alone, the service you can provide by bringing much-needed strength to family members and others by providing love and acceptance to nieces, nephews, brothers and sisters, and others, is immeasurable. Very often single people can have a great impact because they can say things that parents cannot say to their own children. Never downplay your importance in this world because you lack a partner to share it with.

God has a plan for you. He loves you. If you will pray often and make Him your Companion, He will strengthen you in your weakness and comfort you in your loneliness. Serve with a willing heart and He will use you to perform great works--your heart can be full and you may yet find a measure of that happiness you seek.

Nephi was the son a great Book of Mormon prophet named Lehi. When the family was told by God to leave their home for their own safety and to go into the wilderness, they did so, some willingly and with faith, others grudgingly. Early in their journey an event occurred which offers many spiritual lessons. In this post, I’ll explain the story. In the next several posts, I’ll outline some of the lessons we take from the story.

Nephi, although only a teenager, was the best hunter in the family. He was very skilled and had an outstanding bow made of steel. The family came to depend on his skills in the wilderness for their food.

One day, Nephi and some of the men went off to hunt. Shortly after they began, and before anything had been caught, Nephi’s bow broke. The men were tired from the long journey and hungry. It may be that there hadn’t been much food for a while. The men were angry and lashed out at young Nephi. They returned home, where everyone was dismayed to discover there would be no food and everyone, acting out of discouragement began to complain, not just against Nephi, but also against God, wondering why they had been sent on this unusual journey anyway. Even the extraordinarily faithful Lehi, the great prophet, lost faith momentarily and began to complain at God as well. They were facing starvation and their faith—those that had it to begin with—sagged.

Only Nephi, the youngest of the group, held on to his faith. He worked to remind the others of their testimonies. As the others complained, he quietly made another bow, not a great one of steel, but a simple one of wood. He made arrows out of sticks, and also created a slingshot and gathered rocks to shoot from the slingshot. With these simple solutions in hand, he asked his father, who had regained his faith due to Nephi’s efforts, where to find food.

Lehi went to God, who reminded him to go to the Liahona, an unusual tool given to them by God to guide them. Following the instructions given by the Liahona, Nephi was able to obtain food for his family. The family humbled themselves, repented of their lapse in faith, and continued on their journey.

This seemingly simple story is one of faith, leadership, and courage, and Latter-day Saints draw from it many life lessons that guide them as they travel on their own journeys into the wilderness of mortality.

To read the story yourself, in its powerful simplicity, visit 1 Nephi in the Book of Mormon.

The prophet Lehi, at God’s command, left behind his wealth and comfortable life and took his family and fled Jerusalem after his life was endangered by the wicked. Finally, God told them it was time to head into the wilderness, to unknown territories. The next morning, as they prepared to pack up their tents and go, Lehi found, just outside the door of his tent, an unusual object.

“10 And it came to pass that as my father arose in the morning, and went forth to the tent door, to his great astonishment he beheld upon the ground a round ball of curious workmanship; and it was of fine brass. And within the ball were two spindles; and the one pointed the way whither we should go into the wilderness.” (1 Nephi 16)

By following the spindle, the family was able to know which route God wished them to follow. Even more unexpectedly, from time to time words appeared, counseling or admonishing the family. However, there were limitations to its abilities: It only worked when the family was obeying the commandments and living well.

A later prophet, named Alma, explained the workings of this compass to his son Helaman:

40 And it did work for them according to their afaith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day.

41 Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by asmall means it did show unto them marvelous works. They were bslothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey;

42 Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did anot travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst, because of their transgressions. (Alma 37)

Alma explained that this practical and yet spiritual tool represented the gospel in our own lives. When Lehi and his family paid attention to the compass, and lived the gospel, they prospered and traveled safely along their journey. When they did not, they were lost and their progress stopped. Often they suffered.

In the same way, today, those who choose to pay attention to the compass (the word of God) and keep the commandments, they have a compass to guide them through the many trials of life. While obeying the commandments doesn’t prevent hardship, it does ensure you will safely reach your destination—a return to our Father in Heaven.

44 For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.

45 And now I say, is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise. (Alma 37)

It is impossible to hear God’s spirit guiding and directing us if we are living unrighteously or “on vacation” from the Gospel. Only when we’re trying to do what we should are we able to take advantage of the Holy Ghost, and the safe passage God promises us.

The teenaged Nephi was asked by his older brothers to explain the vision their father had received. The vision contained some strong warnings for the two oldest sons of their father, Lehi. These older sons, Laman and Lemuel, lacked faith and did not enjoy living the gospel. When they were told what the vision meant, and particularly the parts that referred to them, they complained:

1 And now it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had made an end of speaking to my brethren, behold they said unto me: Thou hast declared unto us hard things, more than we are able to bear.

2 And it came to pass that I said unto them that I knew that I had spoken hard things against the wicked, according to the truth; and the righteous have I justified, and testified that they should be lifted up at the last day; wherefore, the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center.

3 And now my brethren, if ye were righteous and were willing to hearken to the truth, and give heed unto it, that ye might walk uprightly before God, then ye would not murmur because of the truth, and say: Thou speakest hard things against us. (1 Nephi 16)

Have you ever listened to a church sermon or attended a self-improvement lecture that covered things you already did well? You listened happily, with a sense of peace because you did these things. Have you ever been in the same situation, but heard counsel you knew you should be doing but didn’t do—and didn’t really want to do? Ahh, this is so much harder. It’s no fun to sit in your seat, squirming in discomfort, hearing once again that you are failing in your duties. This second setting is the one Laman and Lemuel found themselves in. Eventually, Nephi convinced them they should give the gospel a try, and they humbled themselves, but not for long. They were soon back to their wicked ways. Like the woman who sits through a class on budgeting and goes home fired up and ready, but passes the clothing store on the way home, they wanted something else more than they wanted eternal blessings. They wanted to live a life of pleasure and ease right now, not later, when they’d earned it.

When our goals are in line with God’s, obedience is much easier and it’s a joyous experience to hear the gospel preached. We don’t find the words hard when our will is the same as God’s. After all, Laman and Lemuel had been sent back to Jerusalem with their younger brothers to retrieve some vital records, and would whine about how it was too hard. But in the very near future, they would be sent back again—even further by now—to bring with them a family that would provide their wives, and this time, they wouldn’t whine at all, because their goals were suddenly in line with God’s. They cared about wives; they didn't care about records.

When our hearts are in line with God’s, we can hear hard things and feel sorrow, not resentment. That sorrow can, if we choose, lead to true repentance. However, it must be a true sorrow, and a longing to become righteous if it’s to last long enough to matter. When Nephi heard hard commandments, he said without hesitation that he would go and do as the Lord commanded. When his oldest brothers heard those same commandments, they whined and fussed, and if they did them at all, it was resentfully. This attitude difference is what led Nephi to become a prophet and his brothers to fall into a path championed by Satan.

How will you handle the hard things God asks of you? Decide now, before faced with the challenge, and you’ll always choose the right attitude and path.