I have had a lot of my friends who have gotten married in the last few weeks, and many more who are about to get married. With all these weddings, there are usually bridal showers which I am invited to attend. I find it interesting that though these showers vary in style and activities depending on who is giving the shower and who is attending, there are two activities that are almost always constant. What are these two actives? One is the giving of gifts and the other is the giving of advice. Both are to help the young couple have a jump start in their happy marriage.

Just as the people who attend the various bridal showers differ, so do the gifts and advice. Where I find the gifts people choose to give interesting, it is the advice which I find more so. For just like the gifts given, some are practical and some are just for fun. Some you decide to keep and other you discard.

Through the years I have heard much good advice given, which I have stored away for that someday when I will embark on that sacred journey called marriage. Here are a few pieces of counsel I have found particularly first-rate.

- Go into your marriage with both eyes open then afterwards close one eye, and squint through the other…

- Go to the temple with your spouse often (at least once a month). This will remind you of the covenants you have made individually with God, and together with your spouse.

-Make sure to sincerely share your love with your spouse every day. (in words as well as other ways)

-Never let the sun go down upon an argument. Make peace before you go to bed, so that you do not do so with a festering wound in your relationship.

-In addition to personal prayers, and family prayers (once you have children), make time to have couple-prayers every day. This will help you and your spouse grow closer together, and bring a special spirit into your relationship. This allows God to be a part of your eternal union.

-To keep love alive in your marriage, look for ways to serve each other every day, and make sure to show your appreciation for that which is done for you.

I think that the reason that all of these words of counsel have resonated with me, are because they all remind me that I can't take my (future) loving relationship for granted. Love takes work and needs daily nourishment to stay strong and alive. It needs the touch of God, for everything He touches lives.

There is one last word of counsel I would like to share that has had a great impression upon me, since I first heard it. Once day the Prophet, President Spencer W. Kimball was speaking to a Returned Missionary. He asked the young man what his plans were for the future. After sharing about his education and carrier plans, the young man said that every night he prays that he'll marry the girl he loves. To this, the prophet advised the young man to instead pray to love the girl he marries. "For, the first prayer will end with his marriage, whereas, the second prayer never will, so it will be continued to be answered throughout the rest of his life."

So, what advice do I give my friends as they prepare to get married? Often, it is what I have just shared with you: make sure God is a part of your marriage in any way possible, never take your loving relationship for granted, nurture your love through service, and gratitude, and enjoy the journey.

There is a set of scriptures within the Doctrine and Covenants that has always given me a bit of trouble. Not because of what they actually say, but because of what my puny brain focuses on and remembers from what they say. See for yourself:

Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;
That your incomings may be in the name of the Lord, that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord, that all your salutations may be in the name of the Lord, with uplifted hands unto the Most High— (D&C 109:8-9)

Can you guess what parts I remember every time I close the scriptures and walk away? Organize, order and house. Somehow over the years I’ve taken a beautiful concept and turn it into something that seems impossible for me. I’m not an organized person. Far from it in fact. Because these scriptures start with and re-emphasize these words, I have equated and orderly, clean, and well-running home with a heavenly home. Somehow I’ve assumed that God can only be closest to me when my chores are done. But really, that’s not what the scripture says at all.

Though these verses were given to provide specific parameters for what should be available to the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when they entered God’s temples. As you can tell, I believe it is also a pattern for what God would like to have present in our every day lives and dwellings. These are the things that matter most to our Heavenly Father as we try to build our lives around His son, Jesus Christ and His teachings. In a sense, these two scriptures give us a pretty clear direction on where our personal priorities should be. Yes, there are plenty of things we face every day that aren’t covered here, but perhaps when we place these first, it becomes clearer what we are supposed to do with the rest of the items on our daily “to-do” lists.

The problem is, I tend to get caught up in the “to-do” part, which puts my mind on worldly matters, and I forget that the parts that are most important. Does Christ ask His disciples to scrub their toilets before saying their morning prayers? Not really. There is a place for a clean home; it offers peace and a greater sanctuary from the world. But, what really matters as we try to build a relationship with the Savior is not necessarily the “organized” part, but what He is actually asking us to be reliable and organized in. Have you forgotten the other parts of the instructions?

Let’s review:

Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;
That your incomings may be in the name of the Lord, that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord, that all your salutations may be in the name of the Lord, with uplifted hands unto the Most High— (D&C 109:8-9)

The things we need to make sure we have in our homes are: prayer, fasting, faith, learning, and worship. We need to make sure our homes are places where God is invited and can enter. Sure, it’s nice to offer Him a seat without first having to brush off yesterday’s paper. But it’s more important that the spirit of the home is inviting to His goodness and purity. The thing that is needful, the thing that must be present is Christ.

When you take a look at your “to-do” list tomorrow, check and see how many of these elements are present. How fully are you providing yourself with a house of God? Where can you improve? When you look at it from God’s perspective which things have you been constantly adding, just to beat yourself up with, that don’t really matter for the type of organized home you want?

Take a look and see how organized you are according to God’s pattern and I’ll try to do the same.