A friend of mine had a daughter whose life had been turned upside down because of addiction to pills. It had started with pain killers, then sleep aids, then anxiety reducing drugs; then and then and then until she was taking pills constantly through the days. She asked her daughter, “Why is your doctor giving you all of these prescriptions? It is way too much! “
By this time the daughter was sleeping through much of the day and her children were being neglected. The doctor giving out all of these medications was fired for misuse of prescriptions and suddenly her daughter was completely cut off from all of the medications. It was absolutely the worst thing that could have been done. One can’t be on these amounts of drugs for at least two years or more and just stop. Her daughter went straight to alcohol which led her to bars and eventually a DUI.
Now, mind you, her daughter and her daughter’s family were active, temple-going members. Yet, in the space of a few short years, addiction was destroying her daughter and the family unit. Her mother told me that she had this overwhelming feeling that if she didn’t step in and do something immediately, her daughter would die.
She sent her grown son to see if the daughter would consider a rehab program. The son could hardly recognize his sister, the change had been so powerful. Yet, she did agree and went to rehab. It didn’t go well, and within a few weeks she was kicked out of rehab. Now what?
Things went from bad to worse and my friend stated she helped put her daughter in an apartment and try to at least to keep her safe. She then drove back to her own home, so upset that she went straight out to her garage to be alone. She felt overwhelmed and defeated. She felt a horrible fear for her daughter and felt that she could hardly bear the pain and despair of it all. She could see very little hope. As she paced back and forth in the garage, she said over and over again, “She is just lost! She is just lost!” She continued to sob.
Then quietly, a voice in her heart said, “She is not lost to me!” Oh, that voice, those words. She knew that she was not alone, but was being borne up. She heard them again. “She is not lost to me.” She knew then for sure that her daughter was in the Lord’s hands. There wasn’t much she could do, except be a messenger of hope and try and keep her safe. As Ala-non, the partner to AA states: We have to let go and let God!
Since then, it has been a long journey but slowly, ever so slowly, there has been progress made. Every day there is this mother’s prayer and prayers count. Every day there is Heavenly Father and her daughter is his daughter as well.
I have thought a great deal about the families that deal with addiction within their own homes. Perhaps it is a child. Perhaps it is the parent or parents. If we will turn to our Heavenly Father, somehow he makes unbearable burdens bearable. It would be wonderful if he would change people, make them stop, and shape them up. He does not. He allows agency. Yet, with the power of prayer, things begin to happen. Maybe it is just an understanding of what to say and what not to say, or what to do or what not to do. Remember, the adversary is happy to put his two cents in all the time. We need all the inspiration and guidance we can get.
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As a retired addiction counselor I have watched the power of prayer and the miracles that it provides. No, not everyone gets sober. Somehow, though, the tone and tenor of what is going on changes when we involve Heavenly Father. We can bear it. We can be of help. We can lift up the feeble knees with love. We manage to see the wonderful things taking place around us and not just dwell on the negative. A son one time told his mother, “Think about the times I do say no, not just the times I fail.” He has a point.
There aren’t always happy endings, but one thing for sure is that our Heavenly Father is mindful, involved and there is probably much we don’t understand about accountability and forgiveness. Be positive and be grateful for any little thing, no matter how small.
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Thank you for this very insightful article. Sometimes when we are in the midst of adversity, you forget to rely on the powers of Heaven. Thank you for the reminder. 🙂
Thank you for these encouraging words. I have been blessed by whisperings of the Spirit that reminded that my child is His child too. There comes a time when we all need to Let Go and Let God.
This article couldn’t have come at a better time. I have family members who struggle with addiction and their children suffer even more than I do. This article gives me hope that prayer is the answer.
One thing I love about this message is that it applies not just to families with an addicted member, but to families that are coping with other trials. The message helps if a child isn’t active or is just making incorrect choices in life. We all need to remember that Jesus still loves them and is there for us, as well as for our child.
You briefly mentioned Ala-non. I hope you will do another article on the wonderful help and the restoration of hope that can be found in the Ala-non program.
Great post and interesting story too. I think many families can relate to this not just because they have children with addictions but because there are other trials which would cause parents to pour their heart out to the Lord. Thanks for posting.
Great post… I like the story you relate as well. Many parents can recognize what your friend has been through as they have children with other trials and can relate. Your words give great comfort. Thanks for posting.