This article was previously published on Latterdaysaintwoman.com
Learning that I could pray for information rather than just concrete, material answers was a huge discovery for me. It changed everything. I am not a risk taker. I hate to choose a side and then realize I am wrong. When faced with something new, I research it probably beyond sensibleness to make sure I won’t guess wrong and have to change my mind later.
However, I soon discovered it was really hard to pray for God’s will and not my own. When I prayed, it was hard not to imagine I heard God confirming my own wishes. I had to learn to humble myself enough to realize I do not always know best. I had to learn how to tell what the spirit felt like, how to recognize His answers, and how to know when I was merely inserting my own wishes.
Over time, I’ve worked hard to get better at this. The process always starts with the research. Since I have long since gotten answers to my prayers to know that the prophet really is a prophet and that the Church is really true, I need to begin with the teachings of the prophets and scriptures. I read the scriptures, making sure I am reading them in context. I check all the verses and stories on the subject, not just the ones that back up what I want to be true. When they are all pulled together, they often say something different from what they seem to say when seen in isolation.
I read the words of our church leaders. Since we believe in continuing revelation and that God reveals the fullness of the gospel line upon line, I start with the most recent statements, not the oldest ones. Again, I make sure I don’t take an isolated statement out of context that can make it seem that God supports something He doesn’t really support.
I also work to figure out what is a leader’s opinion and what is doctrinal. Earlier prophets weren’t as careful about making that clear as the more recent prophets are. Today, with communication so great and the members spread world-wide, they are more likely to add qualifiers to personal opinions to let you know that is what it is.
LDS Newsroom is a very valuable source for me. Some sections are marked as unofficial, but they help me understand how to view complex issues.
After I’ve done all my homework, I think it all through. I study my notes and I often write a conclusion, since, like most writers, I don’t know what I think until I write about it. Once I’ve come to a conclusion that seems to be accurately based on what the scriptures and prophets are teaching, I take it to prayer.
This is the hard part. It is where humility comes in. I have to pray to know what God wants me to know and to do–and I have to mean it. Then I have to sit quietly and wait for inspiration. Sometimes it comes while I’m waiting. Sometimes God puts a person in my path who shows me the answer. Sometimes that person is a small child. Sometimes new thoughts enter my head as I’m going about my chores and pondering.
When these thoughts and new ideas come to me, I have to take them back to God for confirmation. When I feel I’ve received an answer–often a combination of thoughts, a powerful warmth and tugging in my heart, and a feeling of peace–I then put it into practice. It is disrespectful to ask God what is true and then turn my back on the answer when it’s not what I wanted.
In the early days, even all this was not really enough for me to be sure it was inspiration and not wishful thinking. I wrote down the issue and what I experienced that led me to think I’d gotten an answer. Then I waited for the results. Recording the results let me set up a test of sorts. When I was on God’s track, things went well for me–not always instantly, but over time. Sometimes it was years before I understood why God wanted me to do something. However long it took, I kept track of the results.
After a while I saw a pattern to the way my answers came. I think God communicates with us differently, based on the sort of person we are and the kinds of answers that work best for us. I had to learn how God was going to communicate with me. By now, decades after joining the church, I have 
little difficulty recognizing the answers to prayers and distinguishing them from my own. I understand that personal guidance and information must always be in line with the teachings of our current leaders. Anytime I’ve tried to take my beliefs elsewhere, it has ended disastrously.
The wonderful thing about being able to pray for answers is that I never have to believe something blindly, even if it comes from the prophet. I am permitted–even expected–to pray to know if it really is true. I trust God far more than I trust any popular leader found out in the world and I have never been disappointed when I do what God wants me to do, even when it was not what I wanted to do.
Let me share an example of why I listen to God even when I’m disappointed in the answer:
I did not want to move to the home I am currently in. I almost never do want to move and we have to move a lot. Nearly every time I find myself arguing with God about it…and then doing what He says to do.
When we were looking for this house, I found another one I loved. It was very nearly perfect. Furthermore, I could stay in the same ward, a ward I loved. However, my husband was out of town when my son and I went through the house. That evening, I felt uneasy and cranky. I couldn’t sleep and just couldn’t get a sense of peace about that house. A friend–not LDS–reminded me that I had once told her, when she was feeling that way about a choice, that it meant she was moving in the wrong direction. I told my husband and he agreed. He suggested I go look at the last house on our list, one that hadn’t really interested me.
The moment I entered the house, I knew it was where we were meant to be. The negative feelings left. The house was far from perfect and it has often driven me crazy because it’s old and lacks enough electricity or insulation, and yet I knew we were meant to live here for whatever reason. It was in the same stake, but not in the same ward. Even more interesting, the landlord said a whole lot 
of people called to see the house but only one person showed up to look at it and she didn’t want it. We got it.
The first week, I arrived at church alone, since my husband was ill. I was chatting with a couple in the foyer when the bishop entered and introduced himself. Upon hearing my name, he said he would be right back. A moment later, a counselor in the bishopric emerged and asked to meet with me right away. He extended a calling to the nursery! I had jokingly told someone in the ward that I knew to tell the Primary to save me a seat because I am incapable of functioning without a Primary calling. She had, and they had felt a strong prompting to extend a call to me to serve as an aid to a child who had cerebral palsy and was in the nursery.
They had not known I have a grown daughter with cerebral palsy. I knew the needs and that it was important for her to have as typical an experience as possible while in the nursery. During the time she was in the ward, I sat on the floor, holding her into a proper sitting position so she could play, adapting games so she could participate, and teaching the other children how to serve her needs. When I was set apart, I was told they had prayed me into the ward, because they had been unable to find the right person for the position.
To read more articles by Terrie Bittner, please click here.
I had no way of knowing the need was there. The ward didn’t know I could fill it. God did, though. He arranged everything and had I chosen to ignore His plan, I would have spoiled some important plans He had.
The child moved and we are looking at moving away ourselves, but I was here while God needed me…and I have no doubt He has another plan for me wherever I end up next. And whatever the plan is, it will be better than any I could have made on my own.
The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.
