Comments on: Caregiving: Marriage Is Hard When Caring for Spouse https://ldsblogs.com/23397/caregiving-marriage-hard-caring-spouse Sat, 03 May 2014 05:44:51 +0000 hourly 1 By: Molly Kerr https://ldsblogs.com/23397/caregiving-marriage-hard-caring-spouse#comment-69127 Sat, 03 May 2014 05:44:51 +0000 http://en.elds.org/ldsblogs-com/?p=23397#comment-69127 I learned, as the caregiver, that I didn’t know what I needed help with. It was stressful to actually try and figure it out. But when someone showed up, and actually stayed with me, they figured out how best to help. I think when people heard the details of what was going on, they also figured out how to help. That was truly useful. (Thanks, Mom. Thanks to my ward.)

I also learned, that my other defenses were weakened. I have spent many years learning to not over-commit to too many activities. And yet, when in the midst of chaos, I found myself committing to help everyone else … the teacher at school, the T-ball team. My own mom nearly had to restrain me from volunteering to be the Team Mom for T-ball.

And, I also learned, that when your spouse is in the hospital, it is NOT a good time for estranged relatives to show up and try to make amends. STAY AWAY, you only add stress and cause others to lose sleep. There are better times for such things — and it is extremely motivated by selfishness.

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