Comments on: Marriage and Self-Esteem https://ldsblogs.com/24523/marriage-self-esteem Fri, 31 Oct 2014 18:51:26 +0000 hourly 1 By: Tudie Rose https://ldsblogs.com/24523/marriage-self-esteem#comment-323465 Fri, 31 Oct 2014 18:51:26 +0000 http://en.elds.org/ldsblogs-com/?p=24523#comment-323465 I’m so sorry you are having this experience. Tongue lashings do not build good self-esteem, or good marriages. Sadly, one of your children has picked up the habit, which will not bode well for her in the future. Unfortunately, we are all subject to the agency of others–but then again, that was all part of the plan we all voted for in the beginning. Have you sat down with your wife in a calm setting and told her how this makes you feel? Possibly, it is time for you and your wife to consult with your Bishop? Marriage counseling?

I hope you can resolve this issues. Maybe it would be helpful to sit down with your wife and find out what “specific” things you are doing make her consider you a bad father. Specific things can be worked out; tongue lashings about being a bad father won’t help. There are moments in all our lives when we are not the perfect parents — heavens, I’ve had many of those moments. In those moments, it’s helpful if my husband says, “You know, you really could have handled that a little better. I don’t like it when you lose your temper.” It would not help at all if he said, “You’re such a lousy mother!” Is it possible to point out that difference to your wife? Is it possible to point out to her that your daughter is now picking up the habit of berating you?

I’ll pray for your family and your ability to work this out.

]]> By: aj https://ldsblogs.com/24523/marriage-self-esteem#comment-323318 Fri, 31 Oct 2014 17:47:57 +0000 http://en.elds.org/ldsblogs-com/?p=24523#comment-323318 I get a good tongue lashing from my wife at least once a week. When she’s mad she calls me all kinds
of terrible names . One of my three daughters does the same thing to me. For 30 years
now, she’s told me what a terrible father I was. I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve prayed about it
for many years. Nothing changes. I try to be a nice guy and just listen and do better. One thing I don’t
do any more is try to put them in their place. That starts a war every single time. The gospel is very
interesting when it comes to application. It’s portrayed very idealistic but not very realistic.

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