I feel uniquely qualified to answer this, so I will. When God sent Adam and Eve out of the Garden He made it clear this was a fallen world. Fruits and veggies don’t grow spontaneously, but weeds sure do. It’s not meant to be an easy place to live, as you know. I have a chronic disease, and at first I really was put out that I had this extra burden. But I have learned so much about God’s love, and His supporting hand as I have learned to manage it.

Everyone in life has challenges, some are just easier to see than others are. And some people have more than we ever think is fair. But God knows, even though we sometimes forget, that this isn’t the destination it’s the journey. We are here to prepare to meet God. And sometimes the things that help prepare us are really awful. But God is there at the end of the journey with His arms outstretched, waiting to catch us as we cross that finish line.

It feels unfair that cancer and disease exist, but it’s part of this fallen world. But nobody gets out of this life alive as they say. I am just really grateful the Lord is there to comfort and support us in our discomfort. Remember that this is the ONLY time in ALL eternity that we will know what pain feels like. It is the only time we will ever grow old, or experience disease. And eventually we will be able to support others because of our experiences here.

I try to remember that we are Spiritual beings having a mortal experience, and I look for the light around me. That light always gets me through the hard times. I’ve also learned to ask the Lord “why” when something feels very unfair. He answers me, and those answers are comforting. Try asking “why”. I’m sure He will answer you too.

Mortality is absolutely not fair. We learn lessons and increase in faith as we encounter trials. We learn to mourn for those that mourn and rejoice with those who have something to celebrate, no matter what their station. We also believe that in God’s plan, which is eternal and not temporal, the playing field is leveled. In God’s eternal plan, those who suffer on earth will be healed. Those who prosper will continue to prosper IF they have lifted the poor and suffering in their abundance.

I’m sorry! Seeing others live the life you dream of having is incredibly difficult and painful, especially when it comes to love and family. I’ve personally drawn a lot of strength from Ashley Dewey’s “Single Life” series (I’ve linked a particular article, but click on the author and you can read all of her posts), and perhaps you will as well! Wishing you peace and happiness in days ahead.

Bethany, Thank you for your thoughts. I didn’t mean to suggest you could never experience emotions from your trials. We know that Nephi often suffered unhappiness, but in the end, he wrote that he had been blessed all his life. Most of us wouldn’t look at the life he’d faced, with repeated attempts on his life by his own brothers, as being a blessed or favored life. Job faced trials so severe most of us think we’d collapse under them. Every day, in modern life, people face unbearable trials. Moroni lost everyone he loved and was the only good person left in his world. He was sad, but he held on and continued his work.

We can’t choose our trials but we can choose what we’re going to do about them and how we’re going to feel about them. While it’s natural to be sad or angry, to go through the normal stages grieving, it’s not healthy to get stuck in the earlier stages, never coming out into the sun again. However, we have to choose that step. We have to one day decide, “Okay, I can’t control what’s happening, but I don’t have to spend my whole life feeling sorry for myself and I don’t have to give up trying.

Nothing in the article suggests your trials are caused by lack of effort or sin. Having lived more than half a century, I’ve experienced a wide range of trials. Some I brought on myself by my own choices, but others were caused by the choices of others and some just happened and were no one’s fault. However, regardless of the cause of the trials, we are responsible for our attitudes and the choices we make concerning those trials.

Yes, there is a happy ending for even the most trial-filled life if we endure to the end. When we look at life from an eternal perspective, we know there can be a happy ending if we keep working at it. It may not always come in this life, but this life isn’t the end. I’ve noticed, though, that even the most tried people can be happy in this life if they choose to be.

Remember this revelation given to Joseph Smith during a rough time in his life:

““And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
“The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?” (D&C 122:7–8).”

I mean, you list three outcomes to your “lost his job” scenario…what about the man who does remain positive and STILL can’t find work? And then loses his house, and gets injured in a car accident, losing his only means for transportation and incurring thousands of dollars in debt that was covered by insurance (because he had lost his job)? What if in that accident he lost his wife or children? And then he is diagnosed with terminal cancer and dies poor and alone. Sound crazy? I’m quite sure there are people living this nightmare and worse. Life is NOT fair and some people never seem to get a break even when they remain faithful to the end. I don’t think you need to slap smiley face sticker on their pain and suffering.

Its not always “choose the right, get a happy ending” or “complain and bring more misery to yourself”. In fact, thinking in these terms puts the “fault” pf experiencing unhappy tragedies on the person themselves, even when its not justified. I have seen way too many people assume that something bad happens to someone else because they weren’t praying “hard enough” or going to the temple once a month, or having FHE regularly…instead of having compassion for the person and mourning their losses with them.

I agree that life is hard and unfair, and that we need to try to heal through our tragedies and try to find joy where we can. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be upset, angry, or sad about our misfortunes. God gave us a wide range of emotions to deal with our experiences and we can only heal by allowing ourselves to feel them and have them validated.