Nights were often sleepless and there was an endless supply of diapers to change. We couldn’t afford a babysitter or a date and certainly not both in the same month! There was school to finish and jobs to find. And while all of this was going on, I was desperately trying to learn how to cook, clean, teach, and play.

But there was also joy. I remember the evenings where my husband and I would just sit together on the couch and watch our children all play together. We’d give each other that look that said we understood a little bit of heaven and wished this moment could last forever. There were Saturday mornings when all the kids came in our bed and we wrestled and watched the babies go “4-wheeling’” over all the bodies giggling and hiding in the blankets beneath them.

I figured motherhood would always be like that and was prepared and felt experienced. So I was surprised when things changed after the first decade of motherhood. By then we had 6 children. Suddenly my husband and I found ourselves experiencing our first freedoms as parents. If we took a cell phone with us, it was okay to go for a solitary walk together in the evenings—alone!

Instead of loading all the kids up in car seats in our van just to go return a movie before we were fined late fees, I could just hop in the car and drive the few blocks and get it done in half the time with none of the hassles. Most astoundingly was that sometimes we actually had money for dates and the babysitters were free and built-in!

The first time we left our kids alone for a real, night-time date where we would be gone for several hours, I admit I was worried. And coming home, I expected to face a disaster and to have to put everyone to bed. Instead, we were greeted by a quiet house that was all locked up and put to bed with blinds closed and lights off. There was a note on the kitchen table written by my oldest daughter that said:

Mom and Dad,

 

We couldn’t remember where we were reading in the scriptures before bed so we just read a chapter in Alma. That reminded us of an Article of Faith. So we recited it. We put the boys to bed at 8:30 and we went to bed at 9:00. We hope you had a good time!

I didn’t worry so much after that. They had even cleaned the kitchen.

That’s not to say that it’s always perfect now, either. Not by a long shot. The kids don’t play so much together now and the differences and contentions between the boys and the girls are exaggerated now that we are in the pre-teen/teen years. At least one daughter is already starting to display estrogen flare-ups that leave me utterly bewildered and overloaded from time to time.

It’s hard to keep up with the soccer games, dance recitals, voice lessons, cub scouts and after school activities. And there are still sleepless nights and yet more diapers I am changing.

But even with all of that, it’s still so good. I see them struggling to learn empathy and responsibility and respect as they change from children to adults. I see them turning to the Lord to make their difficult decisions and finding their own sweet testimonies. They are discovering talents and going after dreams by setting righteous goals. It’s very satisfying and such a source of rich and profound happiness.

I can see how motherhood is like Godhood. Ultimately he is our father. And when I want my children to get along and help each other, I better understand what he wants from me in my interactions with my fellow men and how he loves them and knows them just as much as he knows and loves me.

I can see how managing my family with love and kindness through tireless service is making me more like the Savior. It is hard work. But each time I am willing to make the sacrifice, I also receive a portion of those joys and blessings that are there for those who are willing to do his work.

Andrya L

We had new sisters to visit and get to know.

But that first month that we had our new assignment, she called me up and invited me over to her house. She had an idea for a craft we could make for the sisters we visit taught. I brought my baby over and her two girls, ages 4 and 5 played with my baby while we women “worked.”

Belinda suggested that we should start out with a prayer and so we prayed to learn to love our sisters and to be guided as we prepared our lesson so that we could know what God wanted them to know and what we could do to help them.

I really enjoyed the time away from my colicky and needy baby who was briefly happy, having these two older girls dote on her. And making the craft was so much fun! While we worked, we discussed that month’s lesson and what seemed most important to us, and decided which of us would present the lesson to each sister.

I found that while Belinda had led a very different life from me, she was a very faithful woman from whom I could learn a lot. I enjoyed her company immensely and had a wonderful time that day.

Even though it was difficult, I kept going.

On the day we went visiting teaching, she drove. She made sure that we prayed together as companions before entering each sister’s home. I won’t tell you that it went smoothly. It was difficult for me.

The sister with many emotional needs was off-putting to me and I couldn’t wait to leave. The sister with the physical disabilities made me equally uncomfortable.

But month after month went by with Belinda and I getting together to talk, discuss that month’s lesson and do a craft or bake cookies for the sisters, and of course to pray for them. And little by little, the visits with the sisters we were assigned to were much less scary and even enjoyable.

I could see them opening us to up and warming up to us. I could see them beginning to rely on us and that we were receiving inspiration on how to help them and to say the right things at the right times to buoy their spirits and give them courage in the face of adversity.

Friendships bloomed, and it was a wonderful experience.

In fact, all of the friendships were blossoming. Belinda and I were getting together much more frequently than once a month and calling each other on the phone just to chat. Our families were getting together to share Family Home Evenings.

We even had a garage sale together. We weren’t just visiting the sisters we were assigned to monthly. We each, separately, might drop by to say hello to them or call them up to talk.

Eventually, the assignments were changed again, but Belinda and I continued to stay in touch with each of “our” sisters. A year or so later, my family and I moved out of state. When we went back to visit for the holidays, I still called Belinda and we would go visit “our” sisters.

One year during one of my visits, one of “our” sisters was in the hospital and she died just a few days afterward. I was sad to lose a friend and yet so happy that I had been given the opportunity to come to know and love this woman.

I was so grateful to have been part of the Lord’s work. I know that I was an instrument in His hands to bless these women’s lives. And because of it, my life was also greatly blessed. I’m glad I had the courage to get over my initial intimidation and trust Belinda.  It has become a wonderful memory, and she is a wonderful friend.

Andrya L

But there are a lot changes when you get married. And even more changes when you have babies. Now, even if I have a free afternoon to go do something with someone, there’s no guarantee that her schedule is equally free.

And frankly, there just isn’t always a lot of spare time to invest in relationships — what with the laundry, the dishes, the chauffeuring and all. And did I mention the laundry?

Which is why I think I’ve often felt lonely and isolated. But Heavenly Father doesn’t intend for us to feel that way. And knowing that God helps those who help themselves, this is how I tackled that very problem several years ago.

We had just moved into a new neighborhood. We had lived in our previous place for a year and I never really made any friends. My husband told me I needed to do something about that and since I also wanted to find a friend, I readily agreed with him. I decided that each Friday I would just call up a sister in our new ward and invite her over for lunch so I could get to know her.

The first Friday lunch was alright. It was a sister who had two small children and the conversation was a little strained and our parenting styles didn’t quite match up. I could tell she was worried about her boys while she was at my house. Still, it was nice to get to know someone. But I wondered whether my Friday lunches were really such a good idea.

As it turns out, our first day in our new ward a man introduced himself to my husband and said, “I think we know you.” This was a man whom I had known way back when –before his mission when we were just 18 year old freshmen at college. My husband didn’t know him well, if at all.

I did have some vague memories of him and certainly remembered his name. Neither one of us knew his wife who was several years younger than us. It was actually really comforting to think that we had moved so close to people from our hometown.

When we got home, my husband mentioned to me that this husband had taken him aside and talked about how lonely his wife was and what a hard time she was having with their new baby who was less than a month old. I thought about how lonely I was and decided I’d call her up and see if she could come over for lunch the next Friday.

It was one of the most fun and wonderful days I’ve had as a stay-at-home mom just staying home. She came for lunch and we ate together. And then we talked.

The conversation moved from the kitchen to the living room and then outside in my backyard. We talked about our hometown and mutual acquaintances and marriage and babies and the gospel.

I don’t even know what all we talked about, but I do remembering loving every minute of the conversation. We never seemed to be at a loss for a topic to discuss. She has since told me that she was so worried about staying for so long, but was enjoying herself so much, and didn’t feel lonely for the first time in a long time.

That lunch lasted for several hours. The friendship has lasted for seven years. Jessica is one of my best friends and we can still talk for hours. Recently I was hospitalized and when I got out of the hospital she dropped by to give me a little plaque she made that says,

“A friend is one of the nicest things to have, and one of the best things you can be.”

I put it on my refrigerator. My husband came home that evening and saw it and said that was one of the sweetest things. He asked me if Jessica knew how much her friendship meant to us and how much we valued it. He wanted to make sure I was initiating enough phone calls to her (I was, believe me!).

That one act of reaching out a little past my comfort zone has brought me years and years of wonderful companionship, no matter where we’ve lived and I’m so grateful for that blessing in my life.

Andrya L

Because of the Fall of Adam and Eve, all people live in a fallen condition, separated from God and subject to physical death. However, we are not condemned by what many call the “original sin.”

The second Article of Faith states:

We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression

.

We believe that each baby comes to earth in a state of innocence—free of the stain of sin. We believe that the infinite atonement of Jesus Christ paid the price for Adam and Eve’s transgression and thus, we are not responsible for a choice that was never ours to make. The sins of the parents cannot be answered upon the heads of the children (Moses 6:54).

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were given a commandment not to partake of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. The reason God gives for this commandment is because in the day they eat of it, they will surely die (Gen 2:17). But additional LDS scriptures shed greater light on this. Moses 3:17 reads:

But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it, nevertheless, thou mayest choose for thyself, for it is given unto thee; but, remember that I forbid it, for in the day thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

So we understand that it was a commandment and yet it was also given as a choice with a clear consequence—death. That’s really important because they were living in the Garden of Eden in a state of immortality and innocence. Death hadn’t yet been introduced to the Garden and they didn’t have a knowledge of good and evil yet. So you have Adam and Eve in the garden with no concept of death, no concept of good and evil when Eve is deceived by Satan. If you don’t understand good and evil, how do you understand a lie? With no concept of evil, how do you comprehend Satan?

There are some who view the dialogue between Adam, Eve and God as further evidence of her wickedness. They may say that Adam puts the blame on Eve and Eve places the blame on the serpent (see Genesis 3: 8-13)—all in an attempt to get out of trouble. Nevertheless, Eve’s statement, “The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat” is simple in its truthfulness. She was deceived and she did eat. And Adam’s statement, “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat” shows the dilemma he was placed in. He had to choose between keeping the commandment to not partake of the fruit or to keep the covenant he had made to stay with her because she was now his wife—flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone.

Eve later says, “Were it not for our transgression, we never should have had seed and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth to all the obedient.” (Moses 5:11) This is another important clue to understanding their state in the garden. For whatever reason, they were unable to procreate until after partaking of the fruit. And here is another difficult choice. Adam and Eve were already commanded to “be fuitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). If they chose not to partake of the fruit, they couldn’t have children. If they chose to have children, then they had to partake.

In 2 Nephi, Nephi says:

And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end.

And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having nojoy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.

But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

James E. Faust describes it this way:

We all owe a great debt of gratitude to Eve. In the Garden of Eden, she and Adam were instructed not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. However, they were also reminded, “Thou mayest choose for thyself.” The choice was really between a continuation of their comfortable existence in Eden, where they would never progress, or a momentous exit into mortality with its opposites: pain, trials, and physical death in contrast to joy, growth, and the potential for eternal life. In contemplating this choice, we are told, “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, … and a tree to be desired to make her wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and also gave unto her husband with her, and he did eat.” And thus began their earthly probation and parenthood….If it hadn’t been for Eve, none of us would be here. (James E. Faust, “What It Means to Be a Daughter of God,” Ensign, Nov 1999, 100)

Some see the “curse” of Eve as further proof of a displeased God releasing his wrath on all women who now need to suffer during childbirth because of Eve’s choice. The Lord says, “Unto the awoman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children;” (Genesis 3:16). He never claims that it is a curse. Adam and Eve are now cast out of the garden and into a world where there is opposition in all things (see 2 Nephi 2:11, 15). When I think of God increasing Eve’s sorrow (in Hebrew meaning “travail” or “pain”), I remember what Nephi says about needing to know misery in order to understand joy. And I see the work of childbirth as a blessing, not a curse. Because it is through such a great sacrifice that we understand the joy and value of children.

Andrya L

During the time your child is in nursery, if he is inconsolably crying for an extended period of time, he will probably be brought back to you. Also, if your child needs a diaper change, he will brought to you. When he has a clean diaper, he will be ready to go back to nursery. When you are done with your classes, you go back to the nursery room and pick up your child.

Older children (ages 3-11) will participate in Primary. Primary is divided into two blocks—Sharing Time and Sunday School. Depending on the ward and the age of your child, he may have either block first. with the Primary Presidency (a president, her two counselors, and a secretary). When they enter the room, the pianist may be playing soft prelude music or the children might be encouraged to sing or hum while they wait for the meeting to begin. They sit in groups with children their own age and their Primary teacher. Children who will be participating in the meeting may be seated at the front of the room.

When all the children are there and it is time for the meeting to begin, there will be an opening song, usually chosen from the Children’s Songbook. Then the child who had been asked to give the opening prayer will step up to the microphone at the podium (if available) to say the prayer. After the prayer, another child who had been asked will say the scripture theme for that month. The theme for December is:

Jesus Christ once lived on the earth, and I have faith that He will come again. “This same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven” (Acts 1:11).

After the theme, the child who has prepared a talk on that theme will present it. Many times, a parent will come in and help the child to read or just be there for moral support.

Then there may be all sorts of fun things. They will celebrate a child’s birthday by singing a birthday song and perhaps presenting him with a small gift. They will greet any new or visiting children by having them come to the front of the room so the rest of the children can sing a welcome song to them. They may take a minute for children to share anything interesting that happened to them that week. A member of the bishopric might come in to share a brief lesson or thought with the children.

There will be a Sharing time which is instruction by one of the primary presidency or one of the primary teachers (or an entire class of children) that involve all the children. It might be a game or a story that teaches a gospel principle. Often, the children will be asked to participate by coming up and holding visual aids or answering questions. There will also be Music Time where the children learn the songs they will be performing for Sacrament Meeting towards the end of the calendar year. These songs are taught through a lot of repetition, games, and visual aids.

The other part of the time spent in Primary will be in a Sunday School type setting with just the children who have birthdays in their same calendar year. This class will usually begin with a teacher calling upon one of the children to offer an opening prayer. Then the teacher will give the lesson that he or she has prayerfully prepared that week. Depending on the age of your child, the lesson will be taken from one of the manuals listed on this page under “Related Lesson Materials.” At the close of the lesson, the teacher may call upon another child to offer the closing prayer.

Andrya L

What exactly is Relief Society ?

The Relief Society was founded by the Prophet Joseph Smith on March 17, 1842, in Nauvoo, Illinois. In the days of its founding, it had two main purposes: to provide relief for the poor and needy and to bring people to Christ. The organization continues today, staying true to those original guiding principles as women in the Relief Society meet together on Sunday and in other settings as needed.

James E. Faust said:

Over the years, this great society for women has evolved under inspiration, but the basic work of the Relief Society has not changed. The Prophet Joseph stated very succinctly that your work is “not only to relieve the poor, but to save souls.”

I believe the four great enduring concepts of this society are:

First, it is a divinely established sisterhood.

Second, it is a place of learning.

Third, it is an organization whose basic charter is to serve others. Its motto is “Charity never faileth.”

Fourth, it is a place where women can socialize and establish eternal friendships

What happens in a Relief Society meeting? Typically, when you walk into a Relief Society meeting, you will find that the Relief Society presidency (the president, her two counselors and a secretary) is setting up the room while a pianist plays soft prelude music. As you find a seat, you may strike up a quiet conversation with the woman next to you as you ask her how her week was. Or you might listen as the sister in front of you describes the reception at her daughter’s wedding. Or you might watch the baby roll on the floor across the aisle from you. Or it might be a time of quiet meditation where you ponder the atonement of Christ or pray for the desires of your heart.

When it is time for the meeting to begin, one member of the presidency will conduct while the remainder of the presidency sit near the front of the room. The woman conducting will welcome the sisters and may ask for people she doesn’t recognize to introduce themselves. Then the meeting will begin with an opening hymn. This song is usually played on the piano and the congregation is expected to sing from the hymnbook while the chorister leads the music at the front of the room. After the hymn, a sister, who was previously asked, will stand to give the opening prayer.

When she is through praying, the sister conducting the meeting will stand again and tell the sisters of any announcements. Perhaps Sister Johnson is in the hospital undergoing surgery. There is a ward party that Friday. Don’t forget the book club meeting Wednesday night. Sometimes there may be a “musical spotlight”—a brief moment when the chorister discusses how we came to have a favorite hymn, or to sing another song, or to hear a soloist. Some wards have other fun tidbits, like a “good news minute” where the sisters have an opportunity to share their good news from that week. Sister Ruiz just found out she is pregnant. Sister Murray’s husband got a new job. Sister Lee’s son made the honor roll for the first time. Sister Anton’s daughter finally moved out of the house! Or they might recognize those women who have a birthday coming up this next week.

During this time, roll is taken. I have been in wards where the secretary just marks the person there. But usually, it has been a folder or clipboard passed around at the beginning of the meeting where the sisters mark or sign their name. There may also be other sign-ups. Because Sister Johnson is in the hospital, her family will need meals brought in for the next few days—can you help?

When the announcements are done, it’s time for the lesson. There are usually a few different women who have been called to teach Relief Society. They switch off every few weeks. So the woman who is teaching today may not be teaching again for a month. On the first Sunday of the month, the lesson is given by a member of the Relief Society presidency and is a topic that she picks as being especially pertinent to the sisters in this ward, at this time. On the fourth Sunday of the month, the lesson is a “Teachings for Our Times” lesson. These lessons are picked by the Stake President from the addresses given in the last General Conference. But this is a second Sunday, so the teacher’s lesson is based on the world-wide church curriculum. This year, we are studying the teachings of the prophet Spencer W. Kimball. In 2008, we will study teachings of the prophet Joseph Smith.

The teacher will have prepared and prayed about her presentation. She has read the manual and additional scriptural resources. She has points that she wants to make that she feels are important but she will also want to involve the sisters in the room because they also have a wealth of experiences and insights. So questions are asked and discussions are encouraged, too. The teacher usually stands at the front of the room and may use a chalkboard, a dry-erase board, or other visual aids to help with her lesson.

When she is finished with the lesson, the sister conducting the meeting will stand again and close the meeting*. There will be a closing hymn in the same manner as the opening hymn and a different sister will give the closing prayer. There may be a little more socializing and talking, but usually there is another ward’s Relief Society who will need to use the room next and so the sisters leave the next Relief Society presidency to set up the room.

*The first Sunday of the month is Fast Sunday. If this Relief Society meeting had taken place on the first Sunday of the month, the lesson would be shorter and there would be time left at the end of the lesson for the sisters to bear their testimonies to each other before the closing

Andrya L

I grew up in a non-religious household. We did not attend church, except for a brief stint when I was ten, and even then I mostly worked in the nursery and never listened to the sermons or went to Sunday School. We did not talk about religion or God, although I knew that my mother believed He existed. We did not pray, not even at mealtimes, nor was I taught how or when to pray. We did not discuss Jesus Christ or His divinity, His attributes or His mission.

We never talked of Heaven or Hell. My mom was a very tolerant, loving, and accepting person and believed that all people were mostly good and I had the vague impression that after death, we would all live in a nebulous state of happiness. As a result of these ideas, my home was not a home where moral standards were set or right and wrong were taught.

Until I was 16 (when I began talking to the Mormon missionaries), the only knowledge I had of the gospel of Jesus Christ was through Christmas carols. Silent Night taught me that Mary was a virgin at Jesus’ birth and how the shepherd’s came and heavenly hosts sang.

Once in Royal David’s City taught me that Jesus was born in a lowly stable.

Angels We Have Heard on High and Hark the Herald Angels Sing taught me that angels came to the shepherds to bring the gladsome tidings of His birth and that the Shepherds rejoiced and went to Bethlehem to see the Babe.

Away in a Manger and O Come All Ye Faithful taught me that Jesus Christ was God and yet was making his appearance in mortality with a body of flesh.

With Wondering Awe tells the story of the wise men following the star to come and adore the Christ child.

And Joy to the World and O Holy Night describe the purpose for all this rejoicing. Christ is born to take away the sins of men.

In addition to learning the gospel through these songs, I came to understood that all people who call themselves Christians believe these things and rejoice in them. And because these songs were sung over and over again all season long, I had them committed to memory just like almost every other child. For the formative years of my life, the Christmas carols were the only form of scripture study I had, but I had memorized them all and loved them and proclaimed my belief in the Savior each time I sang and was strengthened in that testimony every time I heard someone else sing.

And all the Christmas movies that focus on being together with families or Christmas miracles, even if they aren’t obviously teaching religious principles, still touched my heart with the Spirit of Christ. Whenever I would tear up at the beauty of a Christmas miracle or service anonymous given to someone in need, it was the Holy Ghost affirming to me that this is what Christ would do. I knew that those wonderful, soft, warm, happy feelings I felt were somehow related to Jesus Christ.

In his talk, “The Power of Hymns,” Merrill J. Bateman lists some of the roles of church music. It acts as a form of worship, builds unity and a community of saints, teaches doctrine, and facilitates the bearing of testimony. This was my personal experience with the Christmas carols, the only form of religious instruction I had as a child. It was very powerful for me and because of that, I try to include hymns in our home as often as possible.

In addition to It’s an interactive music player where you can see the words and music and control the parts, tempo and key or just print it out. You can also just download spiritually uplifting songs here for free.

Andrya L

Unlike the young men who generally begin their missionary service at age 19, a woman is eligible to begin her missionary service at age 21 and will serve for 18 months. Because the church does not pay its missionaries, young women usually begin saving at an early age in order to be able to provide for their own living expenses. Depending on where they live and where they are called to serve, the new missionary will attend one of 17 Missionary Training Centers (MTCs) around the world. There they will immerse themselves in scriptures and doctrine, learning how to trust the Lord, to teach and possibly even learning a foreign language. After 3 to 8 weeks of training, they leave the MTC and head to the corner of the world that they will come to know and love over the next year and a half.

M. Russell Ballard has said:

A full-time mission is totally appropriate for a young woman, if that is what she wants to do and she is worthy. Holding the priesthood comes with the obligation for young men to carry the message of the Restoration to the world. Young women are invited to participate in missionary work as it is appropriate to their circumstances. If they have prospects for marriage, that is a higher calling. But young women who are in a position to serve make great missionaries. They are good teachers, they have empathy, and they can relate particularly well to women. I don’t think that we have a mission anywhere in the world where the mission president wouldn’t be thrilled to get more sister missionaries.
(M. Russell Ballard, “How to Prepare to Be a Good Missionary,” New Era, Mar 2007, 6–11)

In addition to these young sister missionaries, a woman may decide to serve a mission later in life, too. She may be part of a missionary couple with her husband, if she is married or as a single senior sister missionary if she is not. There are many types of missionary service available to these sisters. They may enjoy a service mission or a mission that focuses on “health, welfare, or other needs.” They may serve close to home, volunteering as needed in their area. Or they may travel to the other side of the world to serve.

Regardless of their age, mission, or type of service, the missionary experience for women can be some of the most challenging work that they undertake in their lives. It can also be the most rewarding.

Andrya L

Surely she must have known that there was a chance that her baby would be born sometime before they returned to Galilee from Bethlehem for the census. Imagine that journey that probably actually took place in the spring rather than in winter. The average temperatures at that time of year range from the 50s to mid-60s. There is usually not much precipitation but the humidity is at about 60%.

In But in Luke 2:6, the account just says that “while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.” The distance between Galilee and Bethlehem is about 80 miles. That would have taken at least a week to travel. And there is Mary, heavy with child. I imagine that she might have had the common ailments that women today suffer in late pregnancy, sciatic nerve pain, heartburn, fatigue, Braxton hicks contractions. I imagine that she might have switched between walking and riding. Walking would have been difficult with the uterine pressure she might have been feeling, and the loose ligaments in her hips from the hormone relaxin. Walking would also have increased the frequency of contractions. It probably would have been hard for her to catch her breath because her lungs couldn’t expand all the way. So perhaps she rode part of the way. But sitting bareback on a beast of burden wouldn’t be comfortable for long and so I imagine that she would have opted to walk again.

However her labor started, it’s clear that at some point in Bethlehem she was in hard labor. She and Joseph must find some place to deliver the Christ child. The scriptural account (Luke 2:7) says nothing more than that Mary “brought forth her firstborn son” and that she “laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.” Bethlehem must have been packed with people coming to be counted for the census. I have no doubt that most rooms were taken. In addition to those difficult circumstances however, it must not have helped that Mary was probably obviously in labor at that point. The Hebrew laws regarding women with “issues of blood” (see Leviticus 15:19-23)and specifically regarding the state of uncleanness after giving birth (see Leviticus 12) would have made it necessary for everyone she came in contact with–or anyone who had even touched something that she touched–to ritually wash themselves, being unclean until evening.

And so they ended up in a stable, more like a cave than a barn, with the animals. Mary and Joseph were probably much more used to the smell of animals and being in close proximity to them than a city girl like me. But no matter how much privacy that stable provided, I can hardly imagine that she would have been comfortable in there with flies buzzing around and being on a stone or packed dirt floor no matter how much straw could be piled up around and underneath her.

And what did Joseph do? Would he have followed the strict Hebrew law regarding the touching of women with an issue of blood? Or would he have gone against convention and attended to her needs anyway? Were they alone, just the two of them? Or were there midwives (Ex. 1: 15, 17-21) available that they were able to call upon to attend Mary? Surely Mary might have been apprehensive—as any first time mother might be at the time of delivery. And here she was separated from her friends and family and delivering this precious babe in a stable. Was she full of faith and wonder and awe? Or was she mostly concentrating on the intensely physical and instinctual work of delivery?

I imagine that like most mothers, she was completely wrapped up in the baby after He was born. She might have touched His face tenderly and held her finger in His hands. She must have breastfed Him soon. Every mother thinks their own baby is beautiful and special. But she knew that He was even more so, different from every other baby. The scriptures tell us that Mary “kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19). This paints a picture of a quiet and contemplative Mary. How much did she understand of His life’s mission? What is it like to read the scriptures about the sufferings that your child will experience (Isaiah 53:5)? What did she think when Simeon blessed her, but prophesied that a sword would pierce through her own heart (Luke 2:35)? Could she imagine that she would witness His death on the cross (John 19:25)?

I don’t know the answers to these questions about what Mary was thinking or feeling. But I know that asking the questions helps me to understand her a little better and makes the story of His birth come alive to me. When I look into the sweet faces of my own babies it breaks my heart to think of the trials and temptations and sufferings that they will face. It makes me want to try even harder to love the Savior and to be more perfect so that I can make my burden of sin as light on Him as possible.

Andrya L

I can’t speak for every woman who is a member of the Church of Jesus Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But this is what my experience has been as an LDS woman.

The prophet has encouraged me to get an education—to learn things that are personally satisfying and enriching and also things that will be economically useful if it’s needed. I have been counseled that marriage is ordained of God and that the commandment to multiply and replenish is still in effect. And once the children arrive, I have been taught that it is the main duty of mothers to nurture their children and that this is best accomplished through staying at home with them and not working outside the home except in special circumstances.

The men in the church are taught to respect and revere women. The prophet condemns the abuse of women mentally, verbally, physically or sexually.

We condemn most strongly abusive behavior in any form. We denounce the physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse of one’s spouse or children. Our proclamation on the family declares: “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. … Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs. … Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).

We are doing all we know how to do to stamp out this terrible evil. When there is recognition of equality between the husband and the wife, when there is acknowledgment that each child born into the world is a child of God, then there will follow a greater sense of responsibility to nurture, to help, to love with an enduring love those for whom we are responsible.

No man who abuses his wife or children is worthy to hold the priesthood of God. No man who abuses his wife or children is worthy to be a member in good standing in this Church. The abuse of one’s spouse and children is a most serious offense before God, and any who indulge in it may expect to be disciplined by the Church. (Gordon B. Hinckley, “What Are People Asking about Us?,” Ensign, Nov 1998, 70)

Women are encouraged to dress modestly. Generally this means that skirts and shorts should come to the knees, shoulders should be covered, and that our clothing should cover more than it reveals. The purpose of modesty is to show respect for our God and ourselves. And within those guidelines, we are free to choose whatever styles and colors we like.

It is true that we do not drink alcohol or use any type of tobacco. But it seems that Mormons love to dance! There are stake dances for the youth, dances for the college students, and even for the adults from time to time. Anytime you see Mormons dancing you are likely to see whatever the latest dance fads are as well as swing and ballroom styles.

Each ward usually has social activities for children, youth, and adults. I love the feeling at ward activities when babies are passed around so moms and dads can eat. Being an LDS woman means that almost anywhere in the world you could go, there is a social network set up where you can find friends, love and assistance. We celebrate birthdays, Easter and Christmas in our various ways around the world. Each country has its own holidays that its congregations observe, too.

Being a Mormon woman means that we are called upon to bring meals in to people who are sick or to families who have just had a new baby. It means visiting other women from month to month and sharing our testimonies and strengthening experiences with each other. It means making quilts and school kits to donate to those who need them and being part of an incredible world-wide organization that relieves suffering.

A Mormon woman tries to be frugal and self-sufficient. This might include baking her own bread, sewing her own clothes, budgeting well, being a savvy shopper or trying to have a 3-month supply of food and necessities on hand in case of difficult times or natural disasters.

It means avoiding objectionable movies, music, and books and being careful and watchful with the internet in our homes. Sometimes our standards put us in awkward situations. But those are often the best teaching moments when we get to share why these things are important to us and how the gospel gives us peace. And sharing those thigns bring us joy.

A Mormon woman has opportunities within the church to lead and teach and instruct. We attend our Relief Society meetings and strive to be a little bit better every day. We try to study the word of God and apply it in the difficult situations we face daily. We try to develop a personal relationship with God through personal prayer. And then turn around and teach these things to our families through family prayer, family scripture study and family home evenings.

Sometimes being a Mormon woman means crying a bit when you feel like you just aren’t doing as good a job as you should. There are heartaches and struggles and pain. But there is also the pouring of our hearts out to God and relying on the Atonement of Jesus Christ to wash away our sins and make our weaknesses strengths and turn our sorrows to sweetness. Then we get up off of our knees and dig back in with all our might, feeling known and comforted.

Being a Mormon woman usually means being very busy! But the work is rewarding and the personal growth is satisfying. Though there are sacrifices to be made, the blessings of a generous God are always abundant. There is so much peace and joy in being a Mormon woman.

Andrya L