I have been working on my Master’s Degree in Education. A few days ago, a friend asked about my thesis/project. I shared that as a society, parents have pushed their children into education, with little thought of teaching them how to build a happy marriage, manage family, and home. Education is important, but not to the exclusion of home and family. The result has been high divorce rates, broken homes, and dysfunctional families. Many fathers do not seem to know how to be fathers, many mothers do not seem to know how to be mothers, most struggle with debt, and few know how to maintain a home. I became LDS when I was a senior in high school, and had been raised in a home broken by divorce. The woman I was talking to is a divorcee. She said that her son needed a man in his life to help teach him how to be a man. Then she asked, “Donna, what is the solution?” Though my thesis deals primarily with the lost arts and relationships that were once nurtured in the home, I feel the best solution is found in gospel living.

Where can a person learn what they need to be a better spouse and parent, especially if they were never taught? Some of the resources the Lord has blessed us with are:

The Scriptures teach about healthy family relationships and standards of gospel living, and when the counsel found in scriptures are heeded, bring happiness into our lives.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches us principles of happy families.

General, Stake, and Ward Conferences are where we are taught standards of gospel living and we receive counsel for families, marriages, and relationships.

Relief Society and Young Women’s organizations help women strengthen testimonies through gospel teaching and teach women how to be good daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, and neighbors, as well as, skills that can help us with home, family, personal enrichment, and with provident living.

Visiting Teaching is a way to strengthen each other as women and give encouragement to women in their roles as sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, and neighbors.

The Priesthood and Young Men’s organizations teach men how to administer the temporal affairs of the God’s Kingdom on earth, and how to be good sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, and neighbors.

Home Teachers can be a great blessing to single mothers, widows, families, and individual women. They teach, assist, and bless.

The Primary organization reinforces the teachings of the home and helps children be better, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, and neighbors.

The home is the schoolroom and laboratory where these core values and skills are learned and refined. The Lord has provided families with additional helps:

The Family Guidebook teaches parents principles of establishing a happy home.

A Parent’s Guide helps parents understand good parenting practices.

The Family Home Evening Resource Manual is an excellent resource for families to use to teach gospel principles in the home, in weekly family home evenings.

With all of these wonderful examples and resources, I feel God’s love and guidance in my life and I feel strengthened and guided to be a better mother.

Donna G

I get gentle promptings on small things as well as big things. Learning to listen on the small things helps familiarity with promptings, and makes it easier to identify promptings when they come. Small things may be inconsequential, on the surface, but they are very important. The other day I felt prompted to check my calendar about an upcoming appointment. I did not heed the promptings of the Holy Ghost. About an hour after the missed appointment I received a call asking if I wanted to reschedule. Now, the situation involved an appointment for a hair cut, nothing earth shattering. I felt sad for my stylist because she relies on paying customers. When the seat remains empty, she is still there at work but earning nothing. Immediately, I recognized that I had a prompting I did not heed. By heeding, I could have avoided the remorse I was feeling for a working mother’s loss. I could have been spiritually strengthened by heeding, knowing that like the “sparrow that falls,” God is mindful of me. Heeding in this small thing would have strengthened me in the future by helping grow more familiar with the promptings of the spirit.

Another word for promptings of the Holy Ghost is revelation. We can invite revelation, but it comes when the Lord is ready to give it. We cannot force it.

It is not wise to wrestle with the revelations with such insistence as to demand immediate answers or blessings to your liking. You cannot force spiritual things. You can no more force the Spirit to respond than you can force a bean to sprout, or an egg to hatch before it’s time. You can create a climate to foster growth, nourish, and protect; but you cannot force or compel: you must await the growth. (Boyd K. Packer, “The Candle of the Lord,” Ensign, Jan 1983, 51)

Our “ability to hear the voice of the Spirit is dependent upon our willingness to keep the commandments.” (Mary Ellen Smoot, “We Are Instruments in the Hands of God,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 89–92) I also increase my ability to hear the voice of the Spirit by doing as the Holy Ghost prompts me. I am humbled and strengthened that God cares enough about me,as an individual that He will send me messages, via promptings from the Holy Host, to help me live and do His work. “Those promptings are a personal message from the Lord to you.” Richard G. Scott, “Promptings of the Spirit,” Friend, Feb 1994, inside front cover)

Promptings can protect us.

The promptings that come to us to flee evil reflect our Heavenly Father’s understanding of our particular strengths and weaknesses and His awareness of the unforeseen circumstances of our lives. When these promptings come, they will not generally stop us in our tracks, for the Spirit of God does not speak with a voice of thunder. The voice will be as soft as a whisper, coming as a thought to our minds or a feeling in our hearts. By heeding its gentle promptings, we will be protected from the destructive consequences of sin.

But if we ignore those promptings, the light of the Spirit will fade. (Robert D. Hales, “To Act for Ourselves: The Gift and Blessings of Agency,” Ensign, May 2006, 4–8)

I am grateful for promptings of the Holy Ghost and strengthened when I heed them.

Donna G

A Mormon family enjoys a family night lesson.

Joseph Smith read a verse of scripture, James 1:5, that led him to pray and seek guidance, and that scripture is in the Bible. That scripture is to “anyone.” I am “anyone.” When I was seeking in my youth and looking for a church to belong to, the idea that I could receive my own answers directly from the Lord, appealed to me. I had learned from reading in the Book of Acts, in the New Testament that “God was no respecter of persons.” I did not need to be a missionary or a minister to pray and study the scriptures. As I prayed and received answers and impressions that guided me, my testimony in Jesus Christ grew. As I studied the scriptures and applied the knowledge and spiritual promptings I received from studying the scriptures, my testimony in Jesus Christ grew.

Through scripture study I have learned many things about prayer and these things draw me closer to Christ and build my testimony in Him. First, I learned to pray a sincere prayer and not a memorized one, or “vain repetitions.” Then I learned to “pray without ceasing.” I do pray often and I discovered that I can carry a prayer in my heart by memorizing hymns, which is not “vain” repetition if I am sincere. Of course, the scripture speaks of the “song of the righteous,” and this helps me remember to choose the right way and follow Jesus, which, as He says that if I will do His will, I will know whether it is of Him or His Father. His will is that I follow Him. If I am sick, I know I can call the Elders and seek a blessing, which is administered through a prayer over me and the laying on of hands. I have done this as often as I have had needed. Every Sunday, in Sacrament Meeting, my heart joins in prayer as the prayers (found in Moroni 4 and Moroni 5)are offered over the sacrament. Each of these kinds of prayers have strengthened my testimony in Jesus Christ.

I have studied scriptures in many ways. In Sunday School we study the scriptures in a four-year rotation, going through: The King James Bible (for two years,both Old and New Testaments), the The Book of Mormon (for one year), and The Doctrine and Covenants (for one year). There are times I have studied the scriptures sequentially, reading each day picking up where I left off the day before, always seeking to know what God desires that I learn, from my reading that day. There are times I went through the Topical Guide or Bible Dictionary and read things by topic, following a thread and looking up cross references. I always try to remember that it is more important to get the scriptures through me, rather than for me to get through the scriptures. If I approach reading the scriptures with an attitude and prayer to find what the Lord has for me, my testimony of Jesus Christ is strengthened, and I feel His watch-care and love for me.

Donna G

“A woman of faith trusts God and faces adversity with hope.” (Margaret D. Nadauld, “A Woman of Faith,” Ensign, Nov 2002, 73) I have been strengthened by the women of faith in my ward. These women pray for each other and nurture each other through visiting teaching and friendships.

I have a neighbor, Laverne who lost her husband ten years ago, to multiple cancers. Soon after his death she discovered that she suffers from leukemia. Each Sunday she sits in the choir seats, where the congregation can see she is still here. Over the course of her leukemia she has been on the hospice home care twice, which usually means you are in your last six months, yet she still lives. Yet, this woman continues to attend church and the temple regularly. She has shown up at my door with lovely roses that she had nurtured in her own yard. She is aware of everyone’s struggles. In lean times for us, she has climbed the stairs to our front door and brought us a Stouffer’s lasagna, to freeze and eat later. Laverne is a woman of faith, virtue, and charity, as she continues to serve and help others, even though she suffers.

My neighbor, Jackie, was dying of breast cancer and still had children in the home. She still continued to serve in her calling and attend the temple. Her children were in high school and junior high. Many women of the Relief Society took meals in, visited her to encourage her, and assist her with care for her home and family. She faced her trail with faith and vision, working to prepare her family for her death, knowing they would be together again in the resurrection.

Recently, a friend’s husband, Alvin, was in need of a kidney, had been on dialysis for a few years and had a donor fall through. A young mother in our neighborhood, Tara, felt the promptings of the spirit to offer her kidney. Doctors found that she was a match and six weeks ago she gave her kidney to Alvin. This was a great act of charity for this very young woman of faith. She had vision, in exercising her faith that this man would be made whole.

These women, those they served, and those that served them, have strengthened me by their example of faith, virtue, vision, and charity over the years. As a result, I have had faith and vision to overcome adversity, have found ways to exercise charity, and have been inspired to be more virtuous.

Donna G

“Questions like, Where did we come from? Why are we here? and Where are we going? are answered in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Prophets have called it the plan of salvation and “the great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8). Through inspiration we can understand this road map of eternity and use it to guide our path in mortality.” Dallin H. Oaks, “‘The Great Plan of Happiness’,” Ensign, Nov 1993, 72

Though this Plan of Happiness is a road map for eternity, there is plenty of room for the individual variety of talents, gifts, and strengths of each of God’s children. Why? Though there are certain signposts which are elements that the road map provides for God’s children, these things do not make us cookie cutter Saints. Each of us is different, just like vehicles on any road will be.

Women are essential to God’s plan of happiness and have a sacred and unique role in this plan of salvation, to bear and nurture the souls of men. Only women have been given the capacity to bear children. This is a sacred trust. I marvel that God trusts us with such vital tasks. The children that women bear are spirit sons and daughters of God.

“Motherhood thus becomes a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord’s plans, a consecration of devotion to the uprearing and fostering, the nurturing in body, mind, and spirit, of those who kept their first estate and who come to this earth for their second estate ‘to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.’ (Abr. 3:25) To lead them to keep their second estate is the work of motherhood, and ‘they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.’ ” (read by J. Reuben Clark, Jr. “General Epistle of the First Presidency to the Saints in Every Land, October 3, 1942)

So, we see that motherhood helps fulfill God’s purposes in bringing to past the immortality of man. God blessed women with special gifts to bear and nurture children. I find it interesting that we refer to the marriage ceremony as holy matrimony. The word matrimony comes from the Latin “mater” meaning mother, and -monium which is a Latin suffix, meaning or signifying “the state or condition.” So, Holy Matrimony quite literally means sacred, or set apart for motherhood, which is a holy calling.

“President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted within women something divine.” That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.” (Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 96)

As a mother of seven children and a grandmother to five grandsons, I have felt the weight of my holy calling to teach and guide my children. Yet, the knowledge that I am not alone in this task has been a boon to me. These are God’s children and I go to Him often in prayer and search the scriptures and words of the living prophets for guidance in this awesome task. I have found answers and received impressions as to what I should do. These have guided me to do the things I need to do to rear His children. I am not perfect in this. When I am not, He does not let me alone, the circumstances soon draw me to my knees, where I find peace, encouragement, and direction.

Though some women may never bear children in mortality, it is important that they understand that motherhood is not limited to bearing of children.

“Motherhood is more than bearing children… It is the essence of who we are as women… Few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of both the mother who bore us and the mothers who bear with us.” (Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 96)

I have a daughter. She is single and approaching 26-years-old. She is not a mother, in the sense of having given birth. She does mother many though. She has a gift of being able to reach out to and inspire children and adults alike, by sharing stories of those who have influenced her.

One of the great sacred blessings of Church membership is to receive a Patriarchal Blessing. Often, within that blessing are further indications of the purposes that God has for you, in your life, and the unique gifts He has given you to carry out that purpose.

I watch as individual women turn to their Heavenly Father, He does help them to see and understand the meaning, purpose, and direction for a life and eternity that will lead them to everlasting joy.

Donna G

Jesus is our Savior, not any man, nor any institution, not even the arm of our own flesh can save us from the effects of the Fall. We are equal with our brothers before God, in having access to the Atonement of Christ in our lives. We are disciples of Christ.

“The following has been written about discipleship: ‘The word disciple comes from the Latin [meaning] a learner. A disciple of Christ is one who is learning to be like Christ—learning to think, to feel, and to act [like] he does. To be a true disciple, to fulfill that learning task, is the most demanding regimen known to man. No other discipline compares … in either requirements or rewards. It involves the total transformation of a person from the state of the natural man to that of [a] saint, one who loves the Lord and serves with all of his heart, might, mind, and strength’ (Chauncey C. Riddle, “Becoming a Disciple,” Ensign, Sept. 1974, 81)” as quoted by L. Tom Perry, “Discipleship,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 60–62)

Sister Virginia U. Jensen, who previously served in the General Relief Society presidency, applies discipleship directly to women:

“…the actions of righteous women ripple on and on through time and space and even generations. These righteous actions come from our understanding of the divine mission of Jesus Christ, our knowledge of the gospel plan, our obedience to eternal commandments, and our work in this, the kingdom of God on earth.” (Virginia U. Jensen, “Ripples,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 92–94)

In truth, the actions of each of us ripple on and on. Our actions and attitudes impact all around us, and the generations that follow them. This being the case, I feel it is important to consider what ripples we are sending out. I am now 53 and thankful for the righteous women I have associated with through Relief Society over the last 35 years. Their devotion to the Savior has let His life and teachings shine through them. As He is the light, they hold up. Their faith in trials has given me hope, strengthened me and reminded me where to turn when I have challenges to face.

Jesus Christ is our exemplar and shows us the way to our Heavenly Home.

“Let us follow the Son of God in all ways and in all walks of life. Let us make him our exemplar and our guide. We should at every opportunity ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” and then be more courageous to act upon the answer. We must follow Christ, in the best sense of that word. We must be about his work as he was about his Father’s.” (Howard W. Hunter, “‘What Manner of Men Ought Ye to Be?’,” Ensign, May 1994, 64)

I know I am a better person for the service that has been rendered me, just as much as by the times I was able to serve others. It is often easier to serve than to be served. In the economy of Heaven, we all get to have our turn to serve, and to be served. Sometimes, one of the hardest things we have to do is to let someone serve us. Yet, letting someone serve us, in our time of need, is a service to them. It serves them by helping them be able to follow the Savior’s example. When I was bedfast for two weeks after a miscarriage, a dear sister in the ward came to cheer me, bring books to read, play Scrabble with me, and talk with me. Her cheerfulness uplifted me and diverted my mind past something I could do nothing about. Others brought in meals to help my family during this challenge. I know there were prayers offered, as well. They were doing what Jesus would have done.

Jesus invited people to follow Him.

“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. (John 8: 12)

I am strengthened and invited to be devoted to Christ and follow His example when I go to Relief Society classes each Sunday. I feel the unity that comes by meeting together often to learn of His ways. I feel the unity and devotion of the sisters in Relief Society when my visiting teachers come each month and discuss with me the message from the General Relief Society Presidency of the Church. As these sisters do, they share experiences that have strengthened them. These sisters share insights they have gained from experience in doing what Jesus would do, and doing as He would have them do. They are united in caring for His flock and teaching by following His example.

There is a strengthening influence in this worldwide sisterhood as they are united in devotion to Jesus Christ and to follow His example, as these sisters rely on the Lord to guide them to do things in wisdom and order, as they serve and let themselves be served by their sisters in Relief Society.

This is not all. I watch as their hands and hearts are extended beyond their homes and sisterhood. I see this as they gather together to make quilts, loom hats, make leper bandages, host a blood drive, assist with a neighborhood cleanup, and more. They live busy lives and yet they find time to think beyond themselves, do as Jesus would do, love and serve one another. I feel this is because they are united in their devotion to Christ and strengthened through the living example of His love working through this worldwide sisterhood.

Donna G

Relief Society Declaration

We are beloved spirit daughters of God,
and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction.
As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ,
our Savior and Exemplar.
We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who:
Increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study.
Seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.
Dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriages, families, and homes.
Find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood.
Delight in service and good works.
Love life and learning.
Stand for truth and righteousness.
Sustain the priesthood as the authority of God on earth.
Rejoice in the blessings of the temple, understand our divine destiny,
and strive for exaltation.

Who are we? “We are beloved spirit daughters of God.” What does it mean to be a spirit daughter of God? God is the literal Father of our spirits and we were created in His image. With God as the literal Father of our spirits, we are all sisters, and that includes being sisters to all of God’s spirit sons.

One usually inherits their potential from their parents, and being daughters of God is no different. We also become daughters of God when we are born again.

“To be a daughter of God means that you are the offspring of Deity, literal descendants of a Divine Father, inheriting godly attributes and potential. To be a daughter of God also means that you have been born again, changed from a “carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness.” (James E. Faust, “What It Means to Be a Daughter of God,” Ensign, Nov 1999, 100)

and

“And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters;” (Mosiah 27:25)

As a daughter of God, we have within us attributes of our Divine parentage. Being creators are one of the most powerful Divine attributes we, as daughters of God, possess, In the Bible we first see Heavenly Father as our Creator.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. (Genesis 1:1)

We, like our Father in Heaven, are creators, as well.

“We are all creators…Creation is one of the characteristics that defines God. He takes matter without form and molds it into stars, planets, and solar systems. “Worlds without number have I created,” He tells us.

Brothers and sisters, we are children of God. Shouldn’t we be about our Father’s business? Shouldn’t we be creators as well?” (Mary Ellen Smoot, “We Are Creators,” Ensign, May 2000, 64)

The question at this point is, what in this world are we creating, as individual daughters of God? What kind of homes are we creating? What kind of communities are we creating? What kind of future are we creating for ourselves and loved ones through the choices we make today? We create both by action and inaction. A choice not to act is still a choice. There is no middle ground.

“If you are unhappy, if you are feeling weary, troubled, or disillusioned, may I ask you to try something? Instead of dwelling on your troubles, focus instead on creating something remarkable, something of eternal significance. Nurture a testimony, strengthen a relationship, write a family history, go to the temple, serve.” (Mary Ellen Smoot, “We Are Creators,” Ensign, May 2000, 64)

I believe that it is within the scope of every daughter of God to live up to the Divine heritage within
each of us, and create something of impact for good.

In future posts, I will explore further the Relief Society Declaration.

Donna G