Just as the people who attend the various bridal showers differ, so do the gifts and advice. While I find the gifts interesting, it is the advice that I find even more so — for just like the gifts given, some are practical and some are just for fun. Some you decide to keep and other you discard.

Through the years, I have heard much good advice given, which I have stored away for the day when I will embark on that sacred journey called marriage. Here are a few pieces of counsel I have found particularly first-rate:

– Go into your marriage with both eyes open; afterwards, close one eye and squint through the other.

– Go to the temple often with your spouse — at least once a month. This will remind you of the covenants you have made individually with God and together with your spouse.

– Make sure to sincerely share your love with your spouse every day, in words as well as in other ways.

– Never let the sun go down on an argument. Make peace before you go to bed so that you do not do so with a festering wound in your relationship.

– In addition to personal and family prayers (once you have children), make time to have couple prayers every day. This will help you and your spouse grow closer together, and will bring a special spirit into your relationship. It allows God to be a part of your eternal union.

– To keep love alive in your marriage, look for ways to serve each other every day, and make sure to show your appreciation for that which is done for you.

I think that the reason all of these words of counsel have resonated with me is because they all remind me that I can’t take my (future) loving relationship for granted. Love takes work and needs daily nourishment to stay strong and alive. It needs the touch of God, for everything He touches lives.

There is one last word of counsel I would like to share that has had a great impression upon me since I first heard it. The story reportedly goes like this: One day the prophet President Spencer W. Kimball was speaking to a returned missionary. He asked the young man what his plans were for the future. After sharing his education and career plans, the young man said that every night, he prays that he’ll marry the girl he loves. To this, the prophet advised the young man to instead pray to love the girl he marries, explaining that the first prayer would end with his marriage, whereas the second prayer never would, so it would be continuously answered throughout the rest of his life.

So what advice do I give my friends as they prepare to get married? Often it is what I have just shared with you: make sure God is a part of your marriage in every way possible, never take your loving relationship for granted, nurture your love through service and gratitude, and enjoy the journey.

This post was originally published in July 2008. Minor changes have been made.

Julia G

Captain Moroni hoists the title of liberty.

“…In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children…” Alma 46:12

As I continued to read, the next few verses stood out to me in a powerful way. After Moroni fashioned this Title of Liberty upon a pole, he:

“…Bowed himself to the earth, and he prayed mightily unto his God for the blessings of liberty to rest upon his brethren, so long as there should a band of Christians remain to possess the land—

 

For thus were all the true believers of Christ, who belonged to the church of God, called by those who did not belong to the church.

 

And those who did belong to the church were faithful; yea, all those who were true believers in Christ took upon them, gladly, the name of Christ, or Christians as they were called, because of their belief in Christ who should come.” Alma 46:13-15

Those who belonged to the Church of Christ were scornfully given the nickname of Christians by the nonbelievers. Yet His followers embraced this name for they understood that they had covenanted to take upon themselves the name of Christ and all it entails when they were baptized.

As I thought about this, my mind turned to a familiar complaint among some of my young adult friends that the Church micromanages our lives. Why does the prophet care how many pairs of earrings we wear or what length our skirts are? Why can’t we drink coffee and tea, watch “R” rated movies, or become intimate with those we love before marriage? What does it matter what we say, watch, or think?

It matters because like those Nephites of old, we too have made covenants to take upon ourselves the name of Christ.

So what does it mean to take upon ourselves the name of Christ? It means that we seek to always remember Him. It means that we follow His commandments. It means that we act so that those who know us, but don’t know Christ, will want to know Him because they know us. We are His living, breathing representatives to the world. This means that we have to live a higher standard. This means that more is expected of us.

Yet no matter how much is asked of us in making and keeping this covenant we have made (to take upon ourselves the name of Christ), it is always worth it — for the Lord’s side of the Covenant is that we may always have His spirit to be with us. The gift of the Holy Ghost is one of the most precious gifts our Father in Heaven could give us in this earth life, next to the gift of His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to enable us to return to Him and ultimately become like Him.

Those ancient Nephites understood this principle, and that is why they took this covenant upon themselves gladly. When we understand as they did, we too will be filled with gladness in taking upon ourselves the most beloved name of Christ.

This post was originally published in June 2008. Minor changes have been made.

Julia G

The last single adult to speak began his talk with the powerful New Testament scripture,

“Then said Jesus, Father, Forgive them; for they know not what they do…” Luke 23:34

As I heard these words, my mind immediately conjured up the scene where those words were spoken. I saw the Savior of the world hanging in agony upon a Roman cross. He had recently suffered incomprehensible pain and anguish in the Garden of Gethsemane as He took upon Himself the sins of the world. He had then been betrayed by one of His closest friends for a mere 30 pieces of silver. He was delivered into the hands of those who considered Him their enemy. Here He was mocked, threatened, beaten, and spit upon. Then He was delivered to another to be scourged, mocked some more, and sentenced to death. And having gone through all this, and more, He was still able to utter those pleading words to His father.

I then thought of the many times in my life and in the lives of my close friends and family when someone has hurt one of us deeply. I thought of my dear friend, who is like a sister to me, sobbing in pain over the seeming betrayal of the man she had begun to love and a girl she had considered a close friend. I thought of my older brother silently suffering because of the petty meanness of a girl he had almost married. I thought of the countless times I have been hurt inside by the thoughtless things people say to me about my single status.

The pain caused by the actions of others toward us is real, just as the pain Christ experienced those last many hours of His earthly life were real. Yet what good comes from holding onto that pain? None. All that comes from hoarding that pain and withholding forgiveness is pain that festers inside of us and blackens our lives. However, even knowing this, it still seems next to impossible at times to grant forgiveness to those who have harmed us.

I was taught once by a fellow missionary that the Atonement grants us the power to forgive. As I think of what Christ endured and what He was did in uttering those words of forgiveness at the end of His mortal life, I know that what the young missionary taught me is indeed true. I can forgive. Christ showed me how.

“…Father, Forgive them; for they know not what they do…” Luke 23:34

Those words spoke of understanding, forgiveness, closure, peace, and love — all of which can be ours if we are willing to follow the example of our Savior and make what He has done the standard in our dealings with others.

Julia G

A young man whom I knew was called to serve a mission in Italy. He was so excited to go and teach the gospel of Jesus Christ to his brothers and sisters in the great country of Italy. He knew that the message he was going to share was true. The Church of Jesus Christ had once again been restored to the Earth—the same church that existed in the New Testament. The priesthood power and authority, which had been lost with the death of the ancient apostle, were once more upon the earth. We have a living prophet upon the earth. Along with the Holy Bible, we have been blessed with another testament of Jesus Christ called The Book of Mormon. This is a record of the Lord’s dealing with the inhabitants of ancient America. Through the restored gospel, we can understand many lost truths including who we are, why we are here, and where we are going.

This young missionary felt he was ready to go and teach and serve. Soon he found himself at the airport with other missionaries all headed for Italy. While waiting for his plane to arrive, a man came near and asked this missionary who he and his companions were. When the missionary answered, the man started asking him questions of what his mission was to do and what he was going to teach. Though the missionary answered all the questions, he did so haltingly, shifting from foot to foot, continuing to look down or at his companions a few feet away for his friends.

The plane arrived and the missionary started to say goodbye when the man asked one more question: “Are you ashamed of the church you belong to?” The missionary quickly and empathetically responded, “No!”

“Are you ashamed of the message you are going to share?” the man asked. Again the young missionary gave the same response: “No!”

“Then why,” asked the man as he turned to leave, “are you acting like it?”

As the young missionary was left to face the answer to this pointed question, he was filled with shame and sorrow. He was not ashamed, was he? If not, then why was he acting in a way that gave that impression? He thought of Paul’s declaration in the New Testament long ago:

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth…”

At that moment, that young missionary set aside the fear that had driven his previous behavior and made the decision that he would live so that no one would ever again doubt that he was not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, nor that he knew that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is in fact Christ’s Church.

When my friend told me of his experience (for he was the young missionary), I began to ask myself if I ever gave the impression from my words or behavior that I was ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I hoped that the answer was no. Even so, that day I too made the same promise to myself as my friend had: that I would live so that no one would ever again doubt that I was not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

This article was originally published in June 2008. Minor changes have been made.

Julia G

For the first point of counsel, my stake president told me a story from long ago when he served as a missionary for the Church in Brazil. He once had a missionary companion who, in his fervor to serve the Lord, decided that he could get so much more done if he just cut back his amount of sleep. So that is what he did. At first he just started getting up earlier. This was great, and he did get so much more done with his extra time. So he set his alarm even earlier, with the same results. Then he decided that if he was getting so much more done be merely getting up a few hours earlier than usual, what if he didn’t sleep at all?

When asked how he planned to survive with no sleep, this companion replied that his faith would sustain him. (Faith, when used properly, can do many mighty things, but it was never meant to sustain foolishness.) This missionary managed to make it almost four days on his no sleep regiment before the inevitable happened. His body crashed. He became very sick, and thus useless to the work for more than two weeks.

At this point in his story, my stake president told me that the rules given in the missionary handbook (for rules and conduct) were given for a reason, including when we are to go to sleep and when we are to arise. By disregarding these rules, this missionary may have appeared to be more effective in the short run, but in the long run, he was much more of a liability.

My stake president then counseled me that no matter how hard I would be tempted to bend this rule, of all the rules, and get up early, that I must not. If I wanted to have the Holy Ghost to guide me, I needed to take care of my body, for the spirit and body are inseparably connected. If I abused my body, I would dull my senses to the Spirit and my ability to follow His promptings.

I must say that my stake president was right. I never forgot his counsel, but at one point in my mission, I did disregard it. I allowed one companion to convince me that waking up thirty minutes earlier than the missionary handbook advised was a good idea because doing so would allow us one hour to work out instead of the thirty minutes normally given. Wanting to be in better physical shape, I agreed.

Almost immediately I regretted this choice. I repented of my folly and shared the counsel I had been given with my companion. Not once, since that day, was I ever tempted to break (or even bend) that rule or any of the other rules again. And I am most thankful for having made and stood by that decision.

Julia G

A couple of weeks ago, my younger sister (younger by six and a half years) got married in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. Since that day, I cannot count the number of times that I have been asked, “So, how does it feel to have your younger sister get married before you?”

The Mount Timpanogos temple

This was always asked with the implied and sometimes even said notion, “After all, you are a 25-year-old returned missionary who doesn’t even have a boyfriend…”

Instead of pointing out how rude and inappropriate that question is and how they should mind their own business (as I would like to say), I graciously put a smile on my face and reply honestly that I am very happy for my little sister.

Yes, I will admit that for a brief moment at the beginning of their engagement, I suffered from what my friend and I call a “Valancy Day.” (This is a literary reference to my favorite L. M. Montgomery book, The Blue Castle. For those of you who don’t know, L. M. Montgomery is the famed author of the Anne of Green Gables Series.)

“One does not sleep well, sometimes, when one is twenty-nine on the morrow, and unmarried, in a community and connection where the unmarried are simply those who have failed to get a man…Ay, there lay the sting. Valancy did not mind so much being an old maid… What hurt her was that she had never had a chance to be anything but an old maid. No man had ever desired her.” – Excerpt from Chapter One of The Blue Castle, L. M. Montgomery

However, like Valancy, I quickly pulled myself up and out of that blue mood I was in by focusing on what God has given me, not on what He has yet to give me.

Yes, a big part of me wishes that I had been able to get married years ago when I was younger. A part of me wishes that I already had children of my own. Yet I am so grateful for the blessing of being able to have served a full-time mission and to have received an amazing education, and that I have the current opportunity to serve as an ordinance worker in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple—all of which would have been either difficult or impossible to do if I had married and started having children years ago.

As Alma stated in the Book of Mormon,

“But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.

 

I ought not to harrow up in my desires, the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction.” – Alma 29:3-4

So, even though my life has turned out differently than I planned, I am happy in all that God hasallotted me. My life and my happiness are in His hands, and could I ask for more?

As for my sister, I was telling the truth when I said that I am happy for her. My younger sister is an amazing young woman, and I love her very much. How could I not then be happy that she has found an equally amazing young man to spend the eternities with?

Julia G

Like these children’s adventure books, we all have moments of decision in our lives. In these moments the choices we make have a drastic effect on the outcome to our own life story.

Some of these important choices we can make while we are young so that when the moment of decision comes, the choice is already made.

Some of these decisions include:

• What moral standards will I live by?
• Whom will I serve? (The Lord)
• Where will I marry? (The Temple)
• What habits do I want to break and/or establish?

However, other important choices must be made right then in the years of young single adulthood, like:

• What education should I gain to provide for my future?
• Whom should I date?
• Whom should I marry?

Knowing the importance and impact these choices will have in our lives, some young adults try to avoid making them, but that in itself is a choice.

“Some of our important choices have a time line. If we delay a decision, the opportunity is gone forever. Sometimes our doubts keep us from making a choice that involves change. Thus, an opportunity may be missed. As someone once said, “When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.” – Choices, President James E. Faust, Liahona, May 2004

Yet, our Father in Heaven tells us that we have no need to fear. He has given us the tools necessary to be able to make the right choices with confidence, and peace. What tools are we given?

First, He has given us the great example of His Son Jesus Christ. By looking at the Savior’s life and following His example, we can know the sort of life to live. When we know the general sort of life we should live to receive happiness, we definitely know what sort of choices we should make to keep in line with that sort of life.

Second, we have the Holy Scriptures and a Living Prophet who are given to us that we may receive guidance and direction in every aspect of our lives.

Third, we have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost to be our companion to guide and direct us in our lives. When we are in tune and obedient to His still small voice, we never have to fear making the wrong choices.

Now, sometimes we do make mistakes. The Lord knew we would. That is why He sent His Only Begotten Son to bring about the Atonement. Alma explained this in the Book of Mormon when he taught:

“And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

 

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

 

Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.” Alma 7:11-13

In knowing all this, let us take new courage in facing these most important choices in our lives by applying all the tools that God has given us to ensure our happiness and eternal joy.

Julia G

He lived in a time where very few had access to the Holy Scriptures, many of the doctrines of Christ had been polluted, and religion was more about power than worship. Yet in the midst of that, this Frenchman, who was also a monk, wrote a 192-line poem titled “Dulcis Jesus Memorial” (”Joyful Rhythm on the Name of Jesus”) which was later translated by Edward Caswall in the early 1800’s. It was from this poem that the hymn “Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee” came to us.

Every time I hear the words,

“Jesus, the very thought of thee
With sweetness fills my breast;
But sweeter far thy face to see
And in thy presence rest.”

(Verse 1 of “Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee,” Hymn 141) Text: Attr. to Bernard of Clairvaux, ca. 1091–1153; trans. by Edward Caswall, 1814–1878

I find myself, like Alma in the Book of Mormon taught us in Alma Chapter 5, looking forward to the day when I will stand before my Lord and Savior to give an accounting of my days. I know that if I can but live so that when that time comes, I will have the power to look up, and I will see in His eyes such love and mercy that my heart will be filled with a sweetness beyond anything I can yet imagine.

“Nor voice can sing, nor heart can frame,
Nor can the mem’ry find
A sweeter sound than thy blest name,
O Savior of mankind!

O hope of ev’ry contrite heart,
O joy of all the meek,
To those who fall, how kind thou art!
How good to those who seek!”

(Verses 2 & 3 of “Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee”)

There is no sweeter name that can pass through the lips of mankind then that of our Savior, for it is through Him that we are able to overcome sin and death in order to be brought back into the presence of God. I am again reminded of the words of the prophet Alma when He spoke of the Savior’s mission on Earth and what He did that He might succor (or run to) His people to heal them, and in the process bring them peace and joy.

“And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.” (Alma 7:11-12)

The Lord is indeed most kind, understanding, and merciful in His actions toward the children of men. He teaches us how to love and be loved.

“Jesus, our only joy be thou,
As thou our prize wilt be;
Jesus, be thou our glory now,
And thru eternity.”

(Verse 4 of “Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee”)

I await the day when I may become a joint heir with Christ in the kingdom of my Father in Heaven. This is the mark which I keep my eyes upon to guide me in the choices I make in my life.

This beautiful hymn is one way I help myself to keep my eye on the mark of eternal life. Whenever I hear the words or even the music, (which always brings the words to my mind) I find my faith and testimony strengthened, and am then able to face what lies before me. For this, I shall ever be thankful to Bernard of Clairvaux, and I look forward to the day when I shall see him face to face and express my gratitude for the influence his sweet testimony has had on my life.

Julia G

“The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”The Family: A Proclamation to the World

 

Since I was not only one of her best friends, but also her future sister-in-law, I became one of her five bridesmaids. As one of my duties I helped pick out the, all-important, wedding dress.

Keeping in mind the guidelines for proper temple wedding attire, for the bride, we looked all over the place, at multiple dress stores, to find the perfect gown. At last we found it, and let me tell you this dress was beautiful. For those of the female gender, reading this post, I will briefly describe the gown.

It was a white/white corset styled gown that laced up the back, with a full skirt that fell into a small train. It was made in sateen with an embroidered sheer overlay. This was definitely what I would call a Cinderella dress or Princess gown. At the time, I thought to myself, “Self, I want a dress just like this someday when I get married.”

Now, if you could only imagine my surprise, when the other day, my little brother (who had been visiting my oldest brother’s family) brought home the dress, slip and veil stating that it was now mine, if it fit me, and if I wanted it.

Apparently, my sister-in-law, who recently moved into a new apartment, was cleaning house and getting rid of unnecessary things, to simplify her life. Since she was never planning on using the gown again, she thought to send it to someone who someday would. With an ironic smile I went and tried it on. Lo and behold it was a perfect fit!

So now here I am a 25-year-old return missionary, with no prospects in sight, who already owns her wedding dress… Sigh. I just won’t tell the guys about it. After all I wouldn’t want to scare them away any more than they already are.

Julia G

With this said, my currant calling in my Singles Ward is being on the Family Home Evening Committee. In trying to magnify my calling I am always on the look out for new ideas for possible Family Home Evening activities.

The other evening I found one. I was on a family camp out, and for a special treat one night my sister showed us all how to make ice cream by putting the ingredients in a small ziplock bag (two tablespoons of sugar, ½ teaspoon vanilla, one cup half and half cream.). Then we put that small sealed ziplock into a gallon sized ziplock which held a ¼ cup of rock salt and was filled half way with ice. We sealed the gallon ziplock and then shook it, rolled it on the table, shook it some more, until the ice melted and the Ice Cream froze.

It was so much fun to watch the little children each shaking their gallon ziplocks making their own Ice Cream. It was hard work, yet so much fun as testified by all the squeals of joy, and laughter. As I watched these small children, I saw in my mind a bunch of single adults doing this at a Family Home Evening activity.

Thinking of Elder David A Bednar, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint’s April 2007 General Conference Talk entitled, “Ye Must Be Born Again” where he gave the Allegory of the Pickle talking about the Conversion Process, I saw how the activity of Ice Cream making can be likened unto the gospel of Jesus Christ for the spiritual lesson.

Faith could be likened unto the Half and Half Cream. It is an active ingredient that facilitates action. It is the thickening agent in the Ice Cream, and in our lives.

“Faith is a principle of action and of power, and by it one can command the elements and/or heal the sick, or influence any number of circumstances when occasion warrants (Jacob 4: 4-7). Even more important, by faith one obtains a remission of sins and eventually can stand in the presence of God.” Bible Dictionary, Faith

Repentance can be likened unto the sugar, for the gift of repentance is one of the sweetest parts of our gospel. And like the process of obtaining Sugar from sugarcane repentance takes going through the fire of godly sorrow before we can obtain the sweetness that comes with the joy of Forgiveness.

“Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.

And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.

And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.” Alma 36:18-21

Baptism is like unto the vanilla. As vanilla changes that which it is added to, and gives it a new flavor from which it can never afterward be separated, so to when we are baptized, we become born again, as someone new. We take upon us the name of Christ, and are therefore new creatures. Clean and pure, with a brand-new flavor for the world we live in.

“And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters;

And thus they become new creatures; and unless they do this, they can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God.” Mosiah 27:25-26

The Gift of the Holy Ghost is like unto the rock salt. It is clean and pure, and it is an active ingredient that is necessary for the quickening process to make frozen Ice Cream from the liquid ingredients.

“When we invite the Holy Ghost to fill our minds with light and knowledge, He “quickens” us, that is to say, enlightens and enlivens the inner man or woman” Keith K. Hilbig, Quench Not the Spirit Which Quickens the Inner Man, Liahona, Nov 2007

And lastly though we have made all the preparations to make ice cream, there is one final ingredient that must be present. Ice. Only, once we have added the ice, to the salt and then shake the bag diligently, that the quickening can take place, and the ice cream can come to be.

“Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a clove of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.” 2 Nephi 31:20

And so with Faith, Repentance, Baptism, The Gift of the Holy Ghost, and Enduring to the End, we shall obtain Eternal Life, which is the great gift God can give.

Julia G