As I got off the phone, my husband asked what was wrong. After I related the contents of the call, we held each other for a few moments, then hurried home to see what more we could do.

The following evening I went with another girlfriend to visit this friend who’d lost her baby. I’d bought a yellow rose with a vase and card which we both signed, but I felt completely at a loss as to what I could possibly say that would help this grieving friend.

When we got to her door, we found that there was another couple from the ward (local congregation) already visiting, and we were invited to join them. About six months previously, this visiting couple had also miscarried surprisingly late into their pregnancy. I humbly sat and listened as the visiting couple counseled confidently with my friend and her husband, both of whom looked visibly relieved to be speaking with two people who knew their pain so intimately. The visiting couple’s prior experience had specially equipped them to help in this very sad, very unusual situation.

We are not always fortunate enough to have a close friend or relative who knows our particular pain. Fortunately, there is always One who knows perfectly what we are going through, because He too has personally experienced it. Many years before the Savior’s birth, an ancient American prophet Alma prophesied that Christ would “take upon him [our] infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that He may know according to the flesh how to succor His people according to [our] infirmities” (Alma 7:12).

In the Garden of Gethsemane Christ suffered not only for the sins of all mankind, He also suffered every physical and emotional pain we could possibly experience. Because of what He suffered, Christ was uniquely prepared to give needed comfort to each of us during hardship. To succor means to run to the rescue, and Christ is waiting and willing to run to our side.

Whenever we are hurting, we can seek the Savior’s comfort through prayer, reading scripture, or listening to sacred hymns. In quiet moments, we can experience the reassurance that Christ is there and He knows what we are going through. While this knowledge will not alter our circumstances, it does give us needed relief, healing, and strength to carry on, while at the same time looking forward to a day when we can smile again.

Wendi P

Today, with a church membership approaching 13 million members and more than half of those living outside the United States, one is fortunate to be in the same venue where the prophet is speaking, much less have a private conversation with him. But that doesn’t mean that church members cannot receive specific direction for their lives when needed. The Lord guides His children primarily in three ways:

First, He has given every baptized member of the church the Gift of the Holy Ghost. The Gift of the Holy Ghost entitles the recipient to the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost provided they are living worthily. The Holy Ghost knows all things. He can guide us not only the way we should go, but also warn us against taking a path that might be dangerous.

Secondly, He has given worthy men the Priesthood, the authority to act and bless others in His name. Priesthood holders can not only bless the sick, as Christ blessed the sick, they can give blessings of comfort and direction in times of need. Typically a blessing is sought out by a close relative: a husband, father, or brother. If a relative is not able to give the blessing, families can seek out the assistance of priesthood holders in their ward (congregation). They place their hands on the head of the individual in need of a blessing and through the power of Christ utter words of divine counsel and reassurance.

In the Bible it records the blessings of fathers to their sons, to pass on the birthright, as well as give counsel and direction to those who would be responsible for protecting and maintaining the family. Today in a somewhat similar fashion, worthy members of the church may receive what is known as a Patriarchal blessing. In this blessing they receive counsel and direction regarding their individual life’s mission. They also learn through which lineage of the twelve tribes of Israel they inherit their spiritual birthright. The Lord made certain promises to Abraham which are still valid for all his righteous descendants. Through a Patriarchal blessing church members learn through which tribe of Israel they receive these promised blessings. Patriarchal blessings are administered through one ordained specially to administer them, and unlike regular priesthood blessings which may be sought at any time of need, are only given once in a person’s life.

We can receive divine revelation specific to our individual needs. As long as we are doing our best to live our lives in accordance with God’s commandments, He is eager and willing to speak directly to us through His appointed channels.

Wendi P

There is an important principle of the Gospel known as restoration. It’s as simple as this—we get what we put out. Happiness is one example. Sometimes we imagine in our minds circumstances that will make us happy, and we wait until those circumstances come together to be happy. Really, though, if you want to be happy, you need to create happiness for others. Then you will find you can’t help experiencing it yourself.

Restoration is not just a principle for this life, but it extends to the next. Dallin H. Oaks, current Apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (or Mormons), said the following regarding resurrection and restoration:

The assurance of resurrection also gives us a powerful incentive to keep the commandments of God during our mortal lives. Resurrection is much more than merely reuniting a spirit to a body held captive by the grave. We know from the Book of Mormon that the resurrection is a restoration that brings back “carnal for carnal” and “good for that which is good” (Alma 41:13; see also Alma 41:2–4 and Hel. 14:31). The prophet Amulek taught, “That same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world” (Alma 34:34). As a result, when persons leave this life and go on to the next, “they who are righteous shall be righteous still” (2 Ne. 9:16), and “whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life … will rise with us in the resurrection” (D&C 130:18). (“Resurrection,” Ensign, May 2000, 14)

Thanks to our elder brother Jesus Christ, every person who has ever lived on the earth will have the privilege of being resurrected. That means they will come back to life in their perfect form, free from disease and from the possibility of dying. However, the way we’ll feel about ourselves and those around us will not magically transform the same way our bodies will. We will have the same tendencies toward happiness or misery, selfishness or selflessness. As Elder Oaks pointed out, knowing that should help us want to get a handle on those attitudes that prevent us from experiencing joy now, as we will find the process of dying and coming back to life won’t simply make them disappear.

So practice living today the way you know you want yourself and your children to live forever. That doesn’t mean beat yourself up when you fall short. Our Father in Heaven knew we’d make mistakes, and He sent His Son Jesus Christ to atone for our sins so we could recover from our mistakes and move on and be better. But the next time you catch yourself thinking you’ll behave better as soon as (fill in the blank) occurs, remember that you could be thinking the same thing well into eternity, and that’s a very long time! We can and must begin the process of change now.

Wendi P

Spirit Paradise

Those who have been baptized members of Christ’s church and who have lived up to those covenants will be received into a place known as spirit paradise to await their day of resurrection. This is not heaven in the traditional sense where righteous men and women receive their final rewards and dwell eternally in the presence of God. It is, however, a delightful place. An ancient American prophet named Alma taught the following about spirit paradise:

And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow. (Alma 40:12)

Spirit Prison

In contrast to spirit paradise, Alma explained that those who chose wickedness while alive would have a far different experience in what could be called spirit prison:

Now this is the state of the souls of the wicked, yea, in darkness, and a state of awful, fearful looking for the fiery indignation of the wrath of God upon them; thus they remain in this state, as well as the righteous in paradise, until the time of their resurrection. (Alma 40:14)

Spirit prison is also the destination of those souls who did not willfully rebel against God, but who never had the chance to embrace His Gospel because they never had it preached to them. Part of what makes spirit prison so awful for the wicked, described by Alma, is knowing they will have to account for their evil deeds in life. This same feeling of terror, however, will not necessarily be experienced by those who were merely ignorant of Jesus Christ and never had a chance for baptism. All the same, spirit prison will not be a desirable final dwelling place. There is, thankfully, a way out.

Joseph F. Smith, the sixth president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly referred to as Mormons), had a vision revealing to him where Christ went from the moment He died on the cross until He was resurrected. Jesus Christ spent those three days organizing righteous spirits to go and preach the Gospel to those that were in spirit prison. President Smith recorded:

And the chosen messengers went forth to declare the acceptable day of the Lord and proclaim liberty to the captives who were bound, even unto all who would repent of their sins and receive the gospel. Thus was the gospel preached to those who had died in their sins, without a knowledge of the truth, or in transgression, having rejected the prophets. (D&C 138:31-32)

God desires to give us every opportunity to return to His presence. We need not fear death, knowing that God is in charge, and all who die will have a fair opportunity to embrace His Gospel in its fullness.

Wendi P

The Bible indicates that death is joyful for the righteous and fearful for the wicked. Revelation 14:13 tells us that death becomes a time of rest for those who “die in the Lord,” and that they shall be blessed. On the other hand, the sting of death is sin, wrote Paul, “[b]ut thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Cor. 15:55-57) Sin not only makes death painful, but it can hasten it. “When the righteous turneth from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity,” recorded Ezekiel, “he shall even die therby.” (Ezekiel 33:18)

Christ erases the “sting” of death in two ways. First, He made it possible that we might all be resurrected. An ancient American king known as King Benjamin taught his people that if “Christ had not risen from the dead…there could have been no resurrection. But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.” (Mosiah 16:7-8) This is primarily the sting of separation from those we love. It is comforting to know we may see our loved ones again.

Secondly, Christ made it possible for us to repent of our sins. Ancient American prophets have taught the awfulness of failing to repent while in this life. The prophet Nephi taught:

Wherefore, if ye have sought to do wickedly in the days of your probation, then ye are found unclean before the judgment-seat of God; and no unclean thing can dwell with God; wherefore, ye must be cast off forever.(1 Nephi 10: 21)

In a similar vein, his brother Jacob warned:

But wo unto him that has the law given, yea, that has all the commandments of God, like unto us, and that transgresseth them, and that wasteth the days of his probation, for awful is his state! (2 Nephi 9: 27)

Those who knowingly sin against God’s commandments in life can expect death will be an unpleasant experience. They will not be able to hide their sins from God, nor escape the negative consequences of their choices. In contrast, in a revelation to the Prophet Joseph Smith, God explained that “those that die in [Him] shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them” (D&C42:46).

The Lord loves us and desires we find happiness even in death, but He cannot reward evil behavior. Only those who willingly rebel against His law will find death to be a tragedy, because it will bring them closer to the time when they will have to account for their wickedness in life. God has, however, provided an opportunity for those who die without knowing his commandments to learn and accept the Gospel of Jesus Christ before receiving final judgment. In the end, we will receive whichever kind of end we have chosen based on the lives we’ve lived and our desires to serve God.

Wendi P

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (casually referred to as Mormons), I take comfort in my conviction that because Christ rose from the dead, I and all my family members will also. It’s something I take so for granted that the only time I ever think about resurrection is when attending someone’s funeral. Yet the Prophet Joseph Smith taught that Christ’s resurrection from the dead is at the very heart of all we believe as members of the Church:

“The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it.” (“Chapter 3: Jesus Christ, the Divine Redeemer of the World,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, [2007], 45)

For those less familiar with the concept of resurrection, it begins with Christ’s own. Prior to His death, Christ declared to the unbelieving Jews that after they had killed Him He would rise from the dead on the third day. (John 2:19) Christ was to be the first person ever to be resurrected. As a result of His resurrection, all mankind would also be resurrected. Christ taught in a different setting that not only would all people be resurrected, but they would be brought to stand before Him to be judged for how they behaved while on earth (see John 5:25-29).

As resurrected beings, we will be immortal, meaning we will never again die. We will also be perfect in that we lack any malformations we might have experienced in life. We will be free from all disease. It is not a choice we may make. Every person who has ever lived on the earth will be resurrected.

Hearing this sometimes leads people to the disturbing conclusion that they will have to live forever with the likes of Adolf Hitler and Pol Pot. While Jesus Christ only will have authority to pass judgment on each individual, we may rest assured that those individuals who have willing embraced evil will not have the power to continue to impact negatively their fellow men and women, nor will they receive the same reward as those who’ve chosen to follow after Christ and righteousness.

Wendi P

God, we know, is very concerned about our lives. He cares about what we eat and drink (D&C 89:5-20), our sleep habits (D&C 88:124), and how we spend our money (Marvin J. Ashton, “One for the Money,” Ensign, Sep 2007, 36–39). At the same time, God has told us that He will not direct us as to what we should be doing every minute of every day (D&C 58:26-28). Often getting answers as to how we should act is a matter of learning and applying the principles already taught by God’s prophets. However, when we need additional direction we can turn to a member of the Godhead whose mission is help us recognize the way to go: the Holy Ghost.

All those who are baptized members of The Church of Jesus Christ receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost does not possess a body but is a personage of spirit. Like God and Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost knows all things. We can rely on the Holy Ghost to always speak the truth. He will give us guidance and direction, even regarding what may sometimes be seemingly insignificant personal struggles.

The Holy Ghost can influence us in a few different ways. Sometimes the direction of the Holy Ghost comes as a thought to our minds. Other times we experience the Holy Ghost in our hearts, our emotional center, through feelings of peace, comfort, or warmth. A good friend of mine says she gets goose bumps when feeling the Holy Ghost’s influence.

As we learn to recognize and respond to the promptings of the Holy Ghost we will notice an increase in the direction we receive.

I am very grateful to have the Holy Ghost in my life. It connects me to my Father in Heaven and helps me to know the best way to act in confusing situations. I remember a time when I was single and having a difficult time with a girl I was rooming with at the time. I would often rehearse in my mind all the reasons I was justified in being mad at her. Yet as I searched in my soul for a solution to the problem, I had the distinct thought that I needed to quit focusing on my roommate and examine my own heart and motives. After that realization I was able to begin the process of forgiving the perceived offenses and from then on we became better friends. To this day I know that credit for that thought that turned things around belongs not to me, but to that kind guide sent from our Heavenly Father, the Holy Ghost.

Wendi P

Fear, you could say, does not equal love. So, I might write in the margin of my scriptures the word “fear,” followed by an equal sign with a slash through it, and the word “love.” To me it means when I am afraid, I am not filled with love. If, for example, I don’t open my mouth to share the Gospel with someone because I’m afraid of their reaction, then I am not truly loving them. If I truly loved them, I wouldn’t worry about saving face if they said no.

I came across a formula the other day in the following quote by Robert D. Hales, a prominent leader of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (or Mormons):

“… When families are functioning as designed by God, the relationships found therein are the most valued of mortality.” (“The Eternal Family,” Ensign, Nov. 1996, 64–65)

The formula I would write is “Happy family life equals functioning as designed by God. Miserable family life equals not functioning as designed by God.” Please note that when I say happy or miserable family, I am referring to the emotional state of an otherwise average intact family, with its typical ups and downs. I acknowledge people sometimes suffer unjustly because of the unrighteous choices of one or more family members (i.e. cases of abuse, addiction, or adultery). Victims of broken families can know that God does not hold them responsible for the sins and resulting misery caused by other family members.

I like this formula because it provides a way for me to gauge how I am doing in my family relationships. Some days my family feels like a tremendous blessing. On other days, more like a burden. When our family is functioning as God intended, our family bonds become noticeably stronger. But when my enjoyment of my family is at a low, it tells me I need to stop and examine where we might have gotten away from God’s principles, and especially what I could be doing differently to contribute to our family.

The best authority on what a family “functioning as designed by God” looks like is found in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. The following is one quote from The Family:

“…[F]athers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”

As any mom can appreciate, sometimes you get behind. You know where I’m going with this, right? The husband needs to help out! Actually, the lesson I learned about being equal partners has more to do with how I ask for help. My husband is very willing to help out, but he’s not a mind reader. No matter how much I storm around the kitchen with a come-over-here-and-pitch-in-now scowl on my face, he doesn’t seem to understand (he inevitably thinks it means I need a hug when I get like this, so I get a hug amidst burning dinner and crying baby).

It’s funny how I so often imagine my grumpy behavior is justified (don’t you see this mess?), and yet if my husband were to act the same tyrannical way, I would probably feel I had grounds for divorce. The point is you condescend (hopefully kindly) to your subordinates, but you give your equals due respect. I’m still learning to give up the imperial indignation I feel whenever my husband ignores my telepathic requests. I find when I ask kindly and directly, I get a positive response, the dinner gets cooked, the baby is held, and I feel good inside as a result. Then when my husband draws me into a hug, I realize a happiness I’d only hoped was possible just a few years earlier in my life. It is a happiness that only comes when I am willing to treat my family the way God intended.

Wendi P

Imagine you are a little boat on the ocean. Faith is like choosing your direction. In order to know where to go, you look to God for the correct heading. The destination God chooses for you will not be some jaunt to the nearest island for some good fishing, but a life-changing journey across the sea. You decide that you want to choose the course God has for you, and you start sailing out from land and everything familiar. However, as you sail into the open sea, you invariably encounter storms. These are not like the occasional storm that used to wash into shore, but colossal waves that threaten to sink you.

Here’s where hope comes in. You already have decided that you want to follow God’s course, but now it’s tempting to abandon your design. Hope keeps you safely hanging on long enough for the storm to pass and you to get your bearings again. God promised you could make this journey with His help, and hope is believing in that promise even when things look bleak.

The Apostle Paul wrote in an epistle to the Romans that hope comes through “patience and comfort of the scriptures” (Romans 14:4). The scriptures teach us what things we can realistically hope for. If our hope is not something promised in scripture, it is merely wishful thinking.

It’s also important to remember that hope is delayed gratification. Probably the most memorable book I’ve read to date is Some Miracles Take Time by Art Berg. In it Art relates how he became paralyzed from the chest down following a tragic car accident. With only partial use of his upper arms, he learned to eat again, to dress himself, and eventually was able to drive again, and work independently. Again and again he defied doctors’ expectations. But as the title indicates, it didn’t happen overnight.

Paul further taught that hope is a gift of the Spirit (see Romans 15:13). Gifts of the Spirit are available to disciples of Christ only if they are living worthily. One cannot be breaking the commandments and experience genuine hope.

Finally, I like these words on hope from Paul to the Colossians:

If ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister…

God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: (Colossians 1:23, 27)

Hope is a principle of being stable and firm in that faith that started you on the course of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is not always easy to weather the storms of life, but if we constantly seek that hope that God has promised the faithful, He will not fail us in our time of need.

Wendi P

“A careful reading of the scriptures reveals that the Lord did not tell all things to all people. There were some qualifications set that were prerequisite to receiving sacred information. Temple ceremonies fall within this category.

“We do not discuss the temple ordinances outside the temples. It was never intended that knowledge of these temple ceremonies would be limited to a select few who would be obliged to ensure that others never learn of them. It is quite the opposite, in fact. With great effort we urge every soul to qualify and prepare of the temple experience” (The Holy Temple, booklet adaptation [1982], 2).

By way of comparison, I’d like to share a personal experience.

As a college student I had a summer job working at a nationally run research lab. My second summer at the lab I was granted a heightened security clearance, given a new badge, and trained on complicated procedures for closing specialized locking drawers and safes. I was excited about the new distinction and advertised to all my co-workers that I was now available to “work classified,” meaning I could now work on projects requiring this higher security clearance. As it turns out, most of my days working classified that summer were spent proofreading page after dreary page of safety documentation. After a few days at my new post, a co-worker who’d worked classified many years must have read my face because he jokingly commented, “You never knew the government’s secrets were so boring.”

It is easy to fantasize and perhaps sensationalize what goes on behind secured doors. In the case of my summer job, the classified work taking place was certainly important, but it lacked the prestige, romance, or drama that I looked for as a twenty-year-old. Entering the temple for the first time was, in many ways, a similar experience. It felt wonderful to be there, but for the most part the temple wasn’t anything shockingly new or different from what I’d learned in church all my life. It was like one step up in security clearance. I had reached a point in my life when I could accept more responsibility and was eager to do so, but the religious work that took place in the temple, important though it is, felt like a familiar extension to that which I’d already done in my life to that point. And while I’ve come to appreciate the temple more and more with time, at times it still proves to be less than earth shattering when I fail to have “ears to hear” (see Matthew 13:9).

Boyd K. Packer continues:

“The ordinances and ceremonies of the temple are simple. They are beautiful. They are sacred. They are kept confidential lest they be given to those who are unprepared. Curiosity is not a preparation. Deep interest itself is not a preparation. Preparation for the ordinances includes preliminary steps: faith, repentance, baptism, confirmation, worthiness, a maturity and dignity worthy of one who comes invited as a guest into the house of the Lord.”

The temple is a place for members to further commit themselves to carrying out the work of God. It is worth every sacrifice to prepare oneself to enter. While it is true that those who take part in the temple agree not to divulge what takes place inside, those who have yet to attend may be assured, it isn’t to prevent hoards of twenty-something’s from lining up to be in on the excitement.

Wendi P