As our missionary wraps up the final weeks of his mission, he and I have written about the lessons learned over the previous two years.

Our missionary has really learned to communicate and form lasting friendships with his peers. As a missionary, his companions have represented a wide variety of personalities and diverse backgrounds. Getting to really know each companion and coming to love them through serving together has increased our son’s ability to understand and have compassion for another’s perspective. As the oldest of our four children, he was used to always being right … being a missionary companion helped him to learn that there are many, many ways to handle situations! And the best way to reach a solution was often to start by simply listening to the other person’s perspective!

Our family has learned that LOTS of people are watching us as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! At least once a week, someone will ask about our son’s mission.

There’s Paul at the post office, who has come to know us well after he helped me to figure out how to safely post our son’s violin! (Hint: LOTS of packing material!) Then, there are the countless teachers and parents who knew our missionary during his growing up years that stop us during school events to ask after him. Just last weekend, our next-door neighbors came over for pizza and games and the mother laughingly confessed that she’s already started a Pinterest board with ideas for our son’s homecoming! She is so excited to see how he’s grown and anxious to be a part of welcoming him home! Such love for our son is deeply appreciated!

I have been humbled to see the impact our son’s choice to serve has on those not of our faith. His personal choice has influenced so many people who have expressed how impressed they are that a young man of his age would do something so selfless. They share how they started serving in the community more because of his example. People stop us to ask how we could bear to let him go, and we’ve been blessed to share our testimony of how it has blessed him as a man of God to have this opportunity!

There is joy in his service. But there are still moments when I miss him so much that the tears come. My precious son has become a man in the last two years and I have not been there by his side, photographing every moment! (BTW, missionaries, PLEASE send more pictures home!) I know there have been moments of incredible pain and soul-searching that our son had to do alone, without either mom or dad there to comfort or counsel … it is part of the journey to adulthood … but, OH! I do wish I could have been there to hold him during the lonely moments of his mission, because he was never far from my heart, despite the miles apart.

Perhaps Heavenly Father feels the same for each of us, knowing that we have to go through these mortal experiences in order to grow into the children He wants us to be, yet still wanting to comfort our hearts when we are struggling. Perhaps He sent us the Comforter, the Holy Ghost, because He knew how much we would need comfort here in mortality.

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

In my personal desire to feel closer to our missionary, I spent much more time teaching and feeding our local missionaries than before. We have been so richly blessed from these experiences! Several sister missionaries are already calling dibs on living in our basement after their missions, and we have extended countless invitations to missionaries to come over for dinner anytime they are in town. We deeply love these young men and women who love the Lord so much and who sacrifice so much to serve Him. What began as a way for me to feel closer to our son has ended in my heart expanding to include newly adopted sons and daughters who I dearly love!

The lessons learned from a mission are not confined to the missionary. Our family has learned so much from this journey and I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to share our journey with you. Thank you. Thank you for your many words of kindness and for your support as this Missionary Mama traversed this new path of discipleship.

“Our real calling to be a compassionate Christian came when we stepped out of the waters of baptism… We don’t need a bishop’s assignment to be kind. We don’t need to sign up to be thoughtful. We don’t need to be sustained by our wards to be sensitive.” 

~ Chieko N. Okazaki

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

Invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.

Teaching appointments and service are great ways to accomplish this goal. But let us not overlook the power of music!

Our missionary has been a part of several musical firesides throughout his mission. These have been wonderful experiences for him as he learns to work with other missionaries in putting together a program, coordinating musical numbers, even learning to harmonize with others! These musical firesides have brought an increased unity among the missionaries working on them as each Elder or Sister individually seeks to invite the Spirit through their shared talents.

As the Lord’s spirit fills the room, those attending come closer to God through the experience. Investigators, who have struggled to feel the Spirit, experience the powerful witness of the Holy Ghost through the language of music. Less active members, who hesitate to attend a sacrament meeting, may accept an invitation to come and listen to music in a welcoming setting. Music is a great way to introduce friends and neighbors to the joys of the gospel without pressuring them to commit to something they may not yet be ready for.

… and what a great way for missionaries to introduce themselves to our friends and neighbors!

Music is given of God to further His purposes. Sweet melodies mellow the souls of men and help prepare them for the gospel. After men receive the truth, songs of praise to Deity help to sanctify and cleanse their souls.

~Elder Bruce R. McConkie

Two Sundays back, our bishopric announced a change to our normal sacrament meeting. Instead of talks the following week, we were invited to consider which hymn was our favorite and come to the meeting ready to share our favorite hymns.

To be honest, I was a bit leery about the change—why the shenanigans? Just stick to the normal routine, please!

However, when the following Sunday rolled around, I was willing to see how it worked out. Wow! Was I ever mistaken! Following our renewal of baptismal covenants through taking the sacrament, everyone was invited to come up, briefly share about their favorite hymn, then we sang one verse of that hymn as a congregation.

It was amazing!

We get nearer to the Lord through music than perhaps through any other thing except prayer.

~President J. Reuben Clark Jr.

As soon as the bishop’s counselor sat down after extending the invitation for anyone who wanted to share to come up, there was a nonstop line of people at the pulpit! Shy individuals who might stutter their way through talks were sharing intimate stories of their childhood! Members of our congregation who never share during testimony meetings were sharing their testimonies of gospel truths taught in the hymns. We went over the scheduled time for the meeting to end, yet there were still people wanting to share and sing together as a ward family!

The feeling in the meeting was peaceful and accepting. Joining our voices together in hymns to our God brought unity. I left the meeting feeling closer to God and closer to other people.

In the future, I hope we experience more shenanigans like this! It was wonderful!

For myself, music has the ability to reach past our differences and resonate with our hearts. Music touches something in our hearts and speaks directly to our emotions. Often, I involuntarily close my eyes when listening to especially moving music—just so I can better feel what the music is communicating. What a wonderful blessing music is!

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

I am excited to see the changes made in the coming years to our standard hymnal. I welcome the additions of new cultural heritages that will be wrought. We are a world-wide Church! Thank goodness our music will now better represent all of God’s children’s hearts!

I am so grateful to an inspired bishopric that rocked the routine of our Sacrament meeting and invited the Spirit of the Lord more fully into our meeting.

I am so grateful to inspired mission presidents who are using music to share the message of the gospel and to unify our missionary’s mission.

Music is truly the universal language, and when it is excellently expressed how deeply it moves our souls.

~President David O. McKay

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Moroni 10:4-5

Moroni’s invitation to ask God for confirmation of Truth is a bedrock of our faith. We believe in being seekers after Truth. We believe that as God’s children, we are entitled to His divine help in finding Truth.

From the very beginning of the restoration of the gospel, disciples of Christ have been encouraged to turn to God for answers. In the introduction to the Doctrine and Covenants, it says, “These sacred revelations were received in answer to prayer, in times of need, and came out of real-life situations involving real people.”

Real, flawed and floundering people seeking to understand what God wants them to do in their everyday circumstances. You and I are in the exact same situation: we seek God’s guidance. We want Him to answer our prayers and guide us to Truth.

Yet, I have watched people I love question some aspect of the gospel or life and those questions have led them to not just leave the faith I love, but also to even deny the existence of God.

How does a sincere question become a doubt?

I think a great deal has to do with the process used to answer the question. Are you turning to God or to Google?

Let me share an example. Over fifteen years ago, when our family moved here, we met a couple about ten years older than us. We became friends—visiting each other’s homes and getting to know one another. The husband and wife were very intellectually stimulating and conversations would last for hours as we discussed various aspects of the gospel and life in general.

Discussions about whether or not women would hold the priesthood were an especially hot topic. While I didn’t embrace all of their concerns, I shared a couple of them myself. During one visit, I was struck by the examples both of them were using—all of them were from various online blogs. This made me step back and do a quick self-evaluation. Where was I turning to for my own answers? Was I spending at least equal time with the Lord’s scriptures as I was in researching online for understanding?

When we want to know Truth, we need to seek it from the author of Truth: God.

Prayer and scripture study.

These sacred revelations were received in answer to prayer, in times of need, and came out of real-life situations involving real people.

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

Honestly, I still don’t have a firm, full understanding of why the Lord’s kingdom works the way that it does; however, I do now have a firm faith that it is His kingdom and is being run His way. And, for now, that’s enough for me.

How grateful I am that I can ask my questions and that God doesn’t punish those who ask questions—rather, He encourages us to ask!

Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?—If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you.

1 Nephi 15:11

Therefore, ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh, receiveth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

3 Nephi 27:29

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

                                                ~Chieko N. Okazaki

Those who are missionaries, please read the final sentences as:

Have the spiritual independence to be a Missionary—the best Missionary you can—in your own way. Not the mission president’s way. Not the stake president’s way. Your way.

Our son has a new mission president who has wrought a lot of changes in his mission. Some are long-overdue reminders of rules the missionaries have committed to follow for two years but have slackened in their observances. Some changes are unique to this mission president’s perspective and life experiences. When I suggest that you be a missionary in your own way, I am not suggesting that you disobey counsel from your mission president. Instead, I am asking you to step away from the comfort zone of check-list missionary work.

It is challenging to follow mission rules. It is hard to get up on time and stick to the schedule day in and day out. But, even more challenging, is to bring yourself fully to the Lord’s work. Everything that makes you, YOU.

Think about it. YOU were called to serve in this specific mission for a purpose that is all your own. If the Lord wanted a programmed robot to fulfill these responsibilities, trust me, He’s GOD, He could make that happen. The Lord wants you, with all of your imperfections, unique talents, and individual testimony.

Taking the steps to be fully yourself on your mission will take courage.

Standing on our own spiritual knowledge is frightening. President Nelson said, “I implore you, to increase your spiritual capacity to receive revelation.” Our prophet wants us to receive personal revelation so that we are able to stand on our own during life’s deciding moments. Shocking how hard it is to step away from the safety of hiding in a leader’s shadow. If we stay quivering in the shadows cast by our leaders, then we never get to stand tall in the sunlight—stretching ourselves to our fullest height.

So. What is it holding you back? Do you fear the rejection/ridicule of your companion/other missionaries if you somehow do this whole “missionary thing” wrong? Do you fear being labelled a “try-hard”?

Let’s take a look at someone who faced a great deal of persecution: Joseph Smith.

In his history, he writes,

So it was with me. I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two Personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it; at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God, and come under condemnation.

Ask the Lord what kind of missionary He would have you be—then go out and BE that missionary. What divine attributes have you been given as His son or daughter? Use those gifts the Lord has given to you as you serve. How much stronger could we face the adversity of rejection/ridicule of others if we simply remembered who God has told us we are. Those quiet moments when His Spirit whispers to us of our divinity. Too quickly, we forget those moments in the face of mere mortal rejection.

Pray to know who God wants you to be.

Then go out and BE that person, that missionary.

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

The Lord needs us to receive personal revelation and to be brave enough to act on that revelation. We are living in the last days, let us step up and BE the children of God that His other children need us to be.

President Gordon B. Hinckley summed it up best when he said:

You can be excellent in every way. You can be first class. There is no need for you to be a scrub. Respect yourself. Do not feel sorry for yourself. Do not dwell on unkind things others may say about you. Polish and refine whatever talents the Lord has given you. Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great and strong purpose in your heart. Love life and look for its opportunities, and forever and always be loyal to the Church.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

Last week, my family and I travelled to Palmyra, New York. We visited numerous LDS history sites, even walking the winding path clear to the top of Hill Cumorah! As mother to my tribe, I had planned ahead for our visit to the Sacred Grove by packing our journals so everyone could quietly write down their thoughts while in such a sacred place. It took a little maneuvering and making sure that my youngest two were separated while they wrote to help everyone feel the Spirit.

For myself, I went hoping for a modicum of peace, maybe even an acknowledgment from God that He knew my struggles these last few months. My experience was nothing like I expected.

I expected to feel peace. The peace felt in the Sacred Grove is deep and vast—like an ocean of peace that you simply cannot find the bottom or end of.

I have walked in temples and felt a measure of God’s majesty, but those experiences were nothing like the vast, almost overwhelming, feeling I felt that evening in the Sacred Grove.

“Be still and know that I am God” seemed to reverberate through my soul as I sat. I felt surrounded by Him on every side, in every atom around me and in the vast reaches of space—it is really hard to put this feeling into words—God is everywhere.

I’ve been struggling to feel known of God, not because of Him, but because I have forgotten Who He Is. He is the Lord God, Creator of All Things. For too long, I’ve been struggling against myself—needing to get out of my own way—so that I could see God in everything around me.

This experience has caused me to be more humble as I approach God in my prayers and scripture study. Instead of looking for validation, I am seeking to understand His will for me.

I am praying to know what He would have me do. I am asking for His wisdom to help me sift through all of the demanding pulls to know where my priorities need to be and where my mental focus needs to be.

Joseph Smith felt overwhelmed by all of the competing religions and pondered for a long time which church to join. What questions are you struggling with? What are you feeling pulled in different directions about?

Joseph Smith History 1

 

10 In the midst of this war of words and tumult of opinions, I often said to myself: What is to be done? Who of all these parties are right; or, are they all wrong together? If any one of them be right, which is it, and how shall I know it?

 

11 While I was laboring under the extreme difficulties caused by the contests of these parties of religionists, I was one day reading the Epistle of James, first chapter and fifth verse, which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

 

12 Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know;

I have to laugh aloud in commiserating validation when I read the final words of this passage, “unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know”. Who has not felt like they were simply ill-equipped to face whatever life was handing them? All of us definitely need more wisdom to help guide us through life’s twists and turns.

I have dozens of competing demands on my time lately, yet I have still felt unknown by God. Again, not because He had forgotten me, but I had forgotten HIM. I had forgotten the vastness of His power. I forgot to ask the right questions of God. Joseph Smith pondered for a long time before he had his moment in the Sacred Grove. He attended lots of different churches seeking the answer to his quest for truth.

If I am living righteously (not perfectly, but perfectly striving), then I have the Lord’s promise that He will lead me. As a God of truth, He cannot lie. So that must mean that I am, right now, exactly where He needs me to be!

So, instead of constantly ramming my head into the wall of “Do you know me?” I have begun to ask the better question, “What would you have of me?” and the answers are coming!

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

We all have questions and struggles that we could use more wisdom in helping us handle. Let us turn to the Lord. Let us better follow the Prophet Joseph Smith’s example!

My missionary is asking those he teaches to ask God if the gospel is true—yet there are so many more questions we need to also be asking of our Heavenly Father!

So let us ask our questions, with unwavering faith that God hears our prayers and, as we live righteously, IS answering our questions!

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

The idea that what calling you hold somehow equates to your spiritual worthiness before God.

Sadly, there are times when someone feeds into this cultural misconception with an example of a long-inactive member of the Church returning to activity and the story ends with the happily-ever-after, “… and then he was called to be bishop.” As though, somehow, the calling and election has been made sure through a calling to leadership. Worthiness is not determined by a calling. The wonderful joy we feel when someone grows spiritually could perhaps better be expressed through their worthiness to make temple covenants, rather than what calling they hold.

Over the years, I have studied the scriptures specifically regarding this idea that a calling equates to worthiness. The truth is quite the opposite. The scriptures and the temple are replete with examples of our equality before God.

Romans 2:11 — For there is no respect of persons with God.

James 2:8-9 — If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as  thyself, ye do well: but if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.

Acts 10: 34-35 — Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: but in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him.

We do a disservice to ourselves and our leaders to think there is any competition when we are serving God.

This mentality has caused me much anguish over the years. When seeing individuals serving in leadership capacities knowingly and openly choosing to not follow the Lord’s commandments, I have struggled with wondering why God loves them more than myself. Not recognizing that perhaps they are serving in that capacity because a loving Father in Heaven is trying to reach them and show them a better way. I am serving in a capacity that will best help me become the daughter God wants me to be. The Lord perfectly places us where we can best learn how to be like our Savior.

There are different lessons for each of us. There are different lessons for different seasons of our lives. And if we are so focused on the unfairness of where we are serving, we will miss the eternal lessons the Lord is trying to teach us, where we are.

I have seen individuals in leadership callings fall away, becoming inactive or even excommunicated. Does this mean the assigned calling was not from God? No. Perhaps the calling was to help that individual to see on a larger scale the impact of living God’s law. Perhaps a loving Father in Heaven is trying to teach His struggling child!

One of my girlfriends was called to be the ward Relief Society president for a few years. During this time, she learned about the many, many acts of quiet service done by different ward members. Often, she would find out that a need had been met before she was even aware that a need existed! These countless acts of quiet service caused her to reevaluate her own behavior.

Now, years later, she is still impacted by that experience as she, too, contributes her own acts of quiet service. As a Relief Society president, she had many opportunities to serve and bless others, but this temporary calling of leadership was of more worth to her than her worth to the calling. It changed her perspective and opened her eyes to the service happening all around her.

Callings change all the time. If there is one constant in the Lord’s kingdom, it is that there is no constant. We believe in living revelation and a Church that is led by God’s prophet … this means change is always in the air!

With this cultural misperception, any outgoing leader must now view themselves as a failure! After years of sacrifice and service, if they are moved to a calling of lesser responsibility, they have now failed? How hurtful! What an unkind repayment for years of service! How very … worldly. You see, it is the world that tells us we are in constant competition with each other for a limited amount of resources.

The Lord, however, tells us, “Be still and know that I am God.” He is a God of Plenty. There is more than enough room in His house for all of His children. There is no hierarchy of callings. That is our carnal, natural interpretation of the Lord’s kingdom, but NOWHERE in scripture is that validated.

The world teaches that someone in a position of responsibility deserves red carpet, white glove treatment. The Lord teaches that those called to lead have a responsibility to serve. The Book of Mormon is teeming with example after example of leaders serving alongside those they lead. For instance, King Benjamin’s words in Mosiah 2:10-19 share his insights into being called to be king and his focus on serving God, not seeking for riches and power.

In Alma chapter 30, the anti-Christ Korihor attacks Alma and accuses him of using the gospel to gain power and to subjugate the people to his selfish will. Alma’s response in verses 32-35 calmly and humbly destroy the false accusations. Leaders in the Lord’s kingdom may well echo his words in verse 34: “And now, if we do not receive anything for our labors in the church, what doth it profit us to labor in the church save it were to declare the truth, that we may have rejoicings in the joy of our brethren?”

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

In the Lord’s kingdom, we all serve where we are, not for the notice of others, but to serve God. We love Him. We love Him when we loving wrap our arms around the children in Primary. We love Him when we lovingly teach gospel truths to the youth. We love Him when we counsel and sit in counsel with one another, seeking to know His will regarding His kingdom. Everything we have is His. Everything we are is because of His tender love for each of us.

There is no competition. Our Heavenly Father has love enough for all of us. He has work enough for each of us. Let us serve where we are and joyously join together. There is no competition. There never was. There is room enough for all of us.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

What will you do in your final days? What or who will become a priority? What or who will no longer be a priority?

Get Rid of It

If I only knew I had 100 days left to live, there are a couple of things I can easily clear from my remaining minutes:

Weight. I would seriously not waste one more nano-second on worrying about my weight if I knew I only had 100 more days of life. I would eat dessert with every meal, because eating desserts makes me happy. Freshly hot, salty French fries. Chocolate. Lots of fresh bread. Why? Because it brings me joy to eat these things!

Other people’s opinions. I would dress in whatever brought me joy. Sweats one day and my brightest, happiest dress the next. I would swing on the swings at the park with my youngest daughter and scream with joy as we race down the hill at the park together. I wouldn’t give a second thought to the judging looks sent my way.

Anger/resentment/bitterness. If I only have 100 days left to me, I simply do not have time for these emotions. Some of the issues I allow space in my head simply are just not that important in the grand scheme of things. True, there are some relationships that I might reach over the gaping chasm of hurt feelings and pride to repair if I had the courage of a 100 day deadline motivating me. However, most of the negative emotions simply do not have the power to hold my attention if I only have 100 more days of life left to live.

Priorities

My priorities would all revolve around relationships.

Relationships. I would want to spend every minute of my remaining days with my precious loved ones. I want to snuggle my husband and my kids. I want to laugh so hard that tears stream down my face with my dearest friends. I want to take walks on nature trails and talk of the deeper things of life with those people in my life who have been beside me through the darkest valleys and highest peaks of life.

I would spend the money on tickets to see my sisters for a weekend of laughter. I would spend the money to see my youngest brother as a Dad—his joy in his daughter is obvious in every picture, and I want to experience it in person.

What I Would Leave Behind

If I only have 100 days left of life, I want those I care most about to know who I am. What motivates me? Why have I made the decisions I have made in my life? In short, what makes me … me?

I want the people I most love to know that I know God. I know His hand has guided my life. I have stumbled and fallen often on the path of discipleship in this life, but I have always tried to walk towards God … except when I haven’t. Because, there have been times when I have turned away and walked alone.

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

Times when anger and resentment caused me to shake the proverbial fist toward heaven and turn my face away. Yet, I have always come back to the truth that burns in my heart—God is real. He is the Father of my soul. God knows me. And this knowledge brings me back every time I stray.

Our missionary has 100 days remaining in his mission. A mere one hundred days to impact, teach, and touch another’s life in the uniquely special calling of a missionary. I pray that he will focus on these precious relationships he has developed.

I pray that any hurt feelings or pride will be laid aside as he gives the Lord every last bit of himself in service and love to those around him. I pray that when he ‘dies’ in missionary lingo, he will look back over the final 100 days of his mission life and see that they were the brightest and most joyous days of his entire time of service.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

In coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.

This past General Conference, I listened to our newly sustained prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, exhort each of us “to stretch beyond [our] current spiritual ability to receive personal revelation.”

Like most of us, I have many personal experiences with the Spirit guiding my life. However, I also have had a few experiences when I thought I was heeding the Spirit, but, in retrospect, I think I may have been simply following my own inclinations.

The question for me is HOW? How do I receive personal revelation? How do I know that it is revelation and not just my own desires?

You don’t have to wonder what is true. You do not have to wonder whom you can safely trust.

Like most of us, I have experienced betrayal—it would be so freeing if I could know who I can safely trust! To no longer be constrained in conversation when I want to freely share the burdens I struggle with. I need to know who I can trust. I need to know where I can turn for strength. Of course, Heavenly Father is always there when I pray and I depend completely upon Him; however, human nurturing is sometimes needed. So, how to prevent another betrayal? Personal revelation.

One of the things the Spirit has repeatedly impressed upon my mind since my new calling as President of the Church is how willing the Lord is to reveal His mind and will. The privilege of receiving revelation is one of the greatest gifts of God to His children.

God wants to guide me. Again, I hit the wall of myself. How do I get out of the way of personal revelation? How do I receive revelation that is from God and not just my own subconscious trying to satisfy my own selfish wants?

I asked my husband and oldest daughter how the Lord speaks to them. My husband shared that it’s different for different people. For him, he receives revelation while serving others or sometimes during a quiet walk. He’s received thoughts and guidance when he’s turned off the music in his car and just sat quietly. Sometimes he’s received personal revelation through conversations with other people or during a sacrament talk.

Our oldest daughter is an artist and will often sit in her room, listening to classical music while she is creating art. She shared that she often receives personal revelation during these quiet moments of creation. My daughter has sought the Lord’s help in prayer, specifically asking for help in loving others. When she has done this, she has been overcome with feelings of love for the specific person she is praying for. When I pressed her for a specific example, she shared:

“Last year, I fasted about whether or not to take honors versus academic chem. Personally, I wanted to take honors chem. When I fasted and prayed, I didn’t get a feeling really, it was more of a thought that academic was better. I wasn’t really happy about it, but it just felt right … I didn’t want to do it, but Heavenly Father knew what was best.”

I remember this experience! As her mother, I was praying right along with my daughter—this caused her so much stress and anxiety! She has very high goals for herself and taking a regular academic class is not how she defines herself. After she received this revelation, she came to me in tears, she was so unhappy about the answer. I reminded her that if she asked the Lord for guidance, she had a responsibility to act upon His answer. (She was a bit miffed with that response.)

However, after a very challenging junior year in high school, she was extremely grateful she followed this personal revelation. Unexpectedly, one of her best friends was also in the academic class! This class is not one she needs to excel in for her future goals; with the stresses of her many other activities and classes, it was a huge blessing to my daughter that she did not take the honors chem class.

For myself, I have experienced these same personal revelatory experiences, yet I still want more. After all, Nephi received such specific revelation that he built a sea-worthy ship to take his entire family to the promised land. I’m pretty sure at my current level of revelation receiving, my ship would resemble a graham cracker.

The Prophet Joseph Smith set a pattern for us to follow in resolving our questions. Drawn to the promise of James that if we lack wisdom we may ask of God, the boy Joseph took his question directly to Heavenly Father. He sought personal revelation, and his seeking opened this last dispensation.

 

 

In like manner, what will your seeking open for you? What wisdom do you lack? What do you feel an urgent need to know or understand? Follow the example of the Prophet Joseph. Find a quiet place where you can regularly go. Humble yourself before God. Pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. Turn to Him for answers and for comfort.

 

 

Pray in the name of Jesus Christ about your concerns, your fears, your weaknesses—yes, the very longings of your heart. And then listen! Write the thoughts that come to your mind. Record your feelings and follow through with actions that you are prompted to take. As you repeat this process day after day, month after month, year after year, you will “grow into the principle of revelation.”

 

 

Does God really want to speak to you? Yes!

I want to receive personal revelation. I need to know what the Lord wants me to do as His daughter, as a mother, as a wife, and in every other stewardship I have in life. I am committed to stretching myself beyond my current spiritual ability!

Writing out the list of President’s Nelson’s above counsel, it looks like this:

1. Find a quiet place I can regularly go.
2. Pray about my concerns, fears, weaknesses, and the very longings of my heart
3. Write the thoughts received; record my feelings.
4. Follow through with the actions I am prompted to take.

As you repeat this process day after day, month after month, year after year, you will “grow into the principle of revelation.”

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

Okay, I’ll take that challenge. This list is not so very daunting that I can’t make space in my life to do these five steps. I’ll begin today and see where the Lord can take me.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

My helpful iPhone gave the definition for anxiety in two parts:

1. Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.
2. A strong desire or concern to do something or for something to happen.

Everyone feels anxious—it’s a normal emotion! This is NOT the same thing as someone struggling with an anxiety disorder. Having feelings of anxiety about a specific event, for a short period of time, or during a time of transition are normal and part of the life experience. An anxiety disorder is how your mind is wired—this is not something that will pass. If you are hard-wired for anxiety, you will need to learn skills to help you.

Anxiety disorder is a real struggle. As a mother of a child with both severe social anxiety and overall general anxiety—I have had to explain to countless adults that she IS doing her very best and will still need their continued patience, love, and adaptability.

I appreciate the openness of recent discussions at Church around depression and anxiety; they are much overdue. Too often, I have had primary teachers and youth leaders treat me like an over-protective parent because I have needed to ask for special accommodations for my daughter. I have been gossiped about and judged because Church members do not simply love and nurture. It is far easier to stand in judgement than to set aside negativity and embrace with love … yet we have covenanted to do the latter … haven’t we?

One example: My husband was out of town on business and I took our daughter to her therapy appointment. She was dealing with self-harming behaviors and self-hatred. This therapy appointment was brutal. I left feeling defeated and overwhelmed. That same evening, there was a Relief Society activity for both mothers and daughters. I went directly from the therapy session—raw, heartsore, and desperately needing outreach and love.

As we sat during the presentation, my daughter was playing quietly with a fidget spinner—we use these to help deter her self-harming tendencies when she feels anxious. After such a brutal therapy session, I wasn’t surprised that she was staring intently at the spinner, simply spinning it over and over again. My heart hurt for my daughter and my heart hurt for me … how was I supposed to help my darling girl overcome yet another hurdle?

As I sat there, half-listening to the presentation and half-praying, I overheard one of the young women leaders loudly say to the woman seated beside her, “You know, those fidget spinners are so obnoxious! Really, some parents should teach their children better manners!” Their conversation continued with a few more pointed comments directed toward myself and my daughter, where we both sat within easy listening distance.

It hurt. But it was not the first time I’ve experienced judgmental and hurtful behavior by other members of my congregation and it likely won’t be the last.

I am grateful for the discussions around anxiety and depression. These conversations help us to behave better in how we reach out. Elder Holland admonished us to “be merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind” when he openly shared his own season of struggle with depression. These conversations need to be on-going.

However, I do not like how everyone who has ever felt a feeling of depression or anxiety is jumping on the bandwagon of claiming to have these disorders. It’s important to recognize that normal feelings of anxiety during stressful situations are not the same as having an anxiety disorder.

You do NOT have anxiety just because you get nervous before taking a test. You are feeling anxious because you are taking a test. You do not have an anxiety disorder.

You do NOT have anxiety because you get nervous before giving a talk or teaching a lesson. You are feeling anxious because of these experiences. You do not have an anxiety disorder.

1. Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.

Anxious feelings in any capacity are not fun. However, feeling discomfort is not the same as having an anxiety disorder. Feeling uncomfortable for a season is NOT having a disorder. It is a normal part of this life’s experiences.

Our missionary went through a period of anxiety at the beginning of his mission. It was a season of growth and change. It was difficult and uncomfortable. It took several months for him to work through these feelings.

But he did so. He did not have an anxiety disorder.

He worked through them. He focused on the work before him, he focused on learning all he could and doing everything asked of him.

2. A strong desire or concern to do something or for something to happen.

He had a strong desire to be a good missionary.

Verily I say men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

       Doctrine and Covenants 58:27

These feelings of uncertainty about how you are doing on a mission are normal. They are part of the experience. Turn that weakness of fear into faith by trusting the Lord to help you through this. When your thoughts turn to fears of failure or inadequacy, re-focus them on service.

My daughter has had years of cognitive behavior therapy. One of the fundamentals, we return to again and again as she works on re-wiring her natural thinking patterns is:

1. STOP the negative thought.
2. Clear your mind of the thought.
3. Actively choose to think about something positive.
4. Calm your body. Take deep breathes. Relax your muscles.

I have used this same pattern myself when I feel stressed! By changing the focus of my thoughts when they are going in a negative direction, I free myself to later think more clearly about whatever I was feeling. Those earlier feelings of negativity and inadequacy are short-lived and if handled appropriately, don’t take over.

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

Please don’t short-change yourself by too quickly assuming that a period of anxiety or depression is the end of your mission. It may be simply a season of growth. Turn to the Lord. Trust Him. Focus on anxiously serving and giving your best. Re-direct your negative thoughts.

It IS hard. But you are stronger than you realize. It is uncomfortable. But you came to be stretched and changed. You are enough and you can do this! Stay strong and stay engaged!

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

Wow! Less than five months left until your son comes home? That went so fast!

Tock

You must be counting down the weeks now!

Tick

It feels like he just left!

Tock

Time has ceased to have its usual course of action during the last 19+ months. I’ve spoken to many missionary parents and this is a fairly common phenomena. One missionary mom referred to this as time moving “fast-slow.”

Fast, as in, I cannot believe that the twenty-four months that stretched endlessly before us at the beginning of this journey are almost at an end. Fast, as in, when did my son cease being afraid to open his mouth to testify? Now he boldly speaks out when he sees opportunities for sharing. Fast, as in, when did my son too quickly become a man?

Slow. So very, painstakingly slowly has each breath passed between my final hug good-bye and when I will next wrap my arms around him!

Fast-slow. There will be days when the minutes stretch and I miss my missionary so much it hurts. Yet, the last 19+ months have FLOWN by! There is so much still yet to do!

For example, when he left, his middle sister inherited his room. He’ll be home for a couple of months before he heads out to college—WHERE do we put him? In the basement? In his old room, bumping his middle sister to sharing rooms for awhile? My husband slept in a storage closet following his mission due to a younger sister claiming his former room, so he doesn’t have much sympathy for my plight. Instead, he laughingly answers my quandary with, “Well, anything our son gets will be better than a storage room!”

If he is staying in the basement, then we need to figure out shelving/portable closet racks for his clothing. And he’ll need a bed. Again, my oh-so-hilarious husband said a camping cot would be fine. However, my husband did sincerely recommend we look into a self-inflating bed. Self-inflating because we both have horrible memories of holding a hair dryer for hours and hours desperately trying to fill an air mattress in the early years of our marriage!

Do I need to reach out to his college and arrange housing? Or, now that he has become a man, do I simply trust that this is something he will arrange for himself? Perhaps he won’t appreciate his overly worried mother interfering?

Do I need to re-wash his clothing that has been in storage bins? Do I need to air out the stuff in the storage bins? Will he even want the stuff in his storage bins now that he is a man? That much-loved stuffed lion he carted everywhere as a toddler may no longer have the same sentimentality!

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

You see, the summer months are packed with camping, family reunions, and normal summer fun—once the school year begins again, I will blink and my missionary will be home.

It will be a slow blink. I will try not to look at the calendar too often to see if the days have advanced any more quickly. I will try to remember how quickly the months have flown by as I watch the minutes crawl by these last few months.

Time will continue to move fast-slow.

Tick

Can you see him yet?

Tock

There! There he is!

Tick

I can hardly believe he’s finally home!

Tock

Wow. Those two years flew by!

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years.