Her points were:

1. Don’t multi-task—be present, in your mind, as well as your hands. (No texting while listening!)
2. Don’t pontificate—enter every conversation ready to learn from the other person!
3. Use open-ended questions—Who? What? When? Where? How?
4. Go with the flow—let your thoughts go out of your mind. (This one reminded me of #1. Be present.)
5. If you don’t know, say you don’t know.
6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs—don’t try to make it about you.
7. Try not to repeat yourself.
8. Don’t worry about the details of names/dates/places—focus on the message.
9. LISTEN. It takes effort and energy to fully listen. Expend the effort.
10. Be brief—share enough to be enticing without over-sharing. 

Interesting, right? So what does this have to do with my goal: To live as the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:27-37) for one year? A LOT.

If you read the list carefully, you’ll notice that #1, #4, and #9 all have to do with listening, with quieting the thoughts in our own heads long enough to share space with the thoughts of someone else. This lesson of listening—being fully present for someone has been repeated again and again and again as I have continued this journey along Jericho’s road.

People want to be heard. They want to feel that they matter. Look at social media—everyone is tracking how many ‘Likes’, ‘Shares’, ‘Tweets’, and followers they have. Not because it really matters—Facebook could crash tomorrow and while inconvenient, we would probably survive. But social media shows that we want to feel heard. We want our experiences validated, our hurts comforted, and our victories celebrated.

We are more interconnected than ever, yet we are more disconnected. How often do you see people sitting on their porches and chatting with neighbors as they walk by? How often do you see neighborhood pick-up games for the kids? Not a lot, which means that we NEED to listen to those around us even more. We need to expend the effort to be present and to fully engage with someone else.

This last couple of weeks, my house has been topsy-turvy with home repair projects. Nothing is where it belongs, as everything is spread over counters and floors and there is perpetual drywall and wood dust on everything.

After several days, as one of the contractors was working, he and I got to chatting. I happened to be waiting between hauling my kids from one location to another—so I had about half an hour to visit. As he worked and we chatted, I learned, again, that people are incredible. This man who had quietly kept to himself and just came in and steadily worked on my home was just amazing!

He shared his experiences of being a pastor and the difficulties with counseling families when your own is struggling—how to put yourself to the side to minister to someone else. He shared what it was like to lose a wife to suicide and the despair and blame that followed. He shared the struggles of making a living and wanting to see his grand kids, but being unable to because of the expense. As he worked and we talked, I was amazed at his resiliency—his determination to move himself forward, no matter what had been thrown in his way.

As I got ready to leave, he said, “You didn’t have to listen to me, I’m just the hired labor.”

What???

When did we move to Downton Abby? We’re Americans! There’s no class system here! I wanted to listen because his life was inspiring and interesting. When I told him so, he looked disbelieving.

When I saw him the next morning, he was grinning ear to ear. The change in his countenance was amazing. From quiet and withdrawn to cheerful and singing quietly to his radio!

As he explained what he had worked on at the end of the day, I asked him about a basement leak we’d been dealing with since buying the house. After his long day of work, he stayed and took over an hour talking me through exactly what was wrong and how we could fix it ourselves. He was expansive and patient as he explained exactly what materials we would need and even shared several tips learned from 20+ years of contracting work on how to approach the project.

To read more of Emlee’s articles, click here.

The small sacrifice I made by listening to this kind man for half an hour was amply repaid with his sharing his knowledge and expertise. It was also repaid with having a cheerful smile brought into my home as he worked. It did not need to be repaid, and yet it was over and over.

That’s how the Lord works, He wants to bless us, even to overflowing, but we need to extend ourselves and make an effort. Listening costs nothing but time and effort, but what a tremendous gift to give someone—the gift of feeling noticed, valued, and of worth. It is a gift that will repay itself over and over again each time you give a listening ear.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

True story.

My brother shared this story with our family and I learned a life-changing lesson from that: You CANNOT judge someone based solely on their looks.

That tattooed young woman is my brother’s wife. She was honorably discharged from the army after being injured by shrapnel from a land mine—serving our country. She will struggle with physical deformity and PTSD the rest of her life because of serving our country.

She cannot even enjoy Fourth of July fireworks because of her unseen PTSD injuries. I’m pretty sure that she’s a real patriot. Broken? Yes. So are we all. Thank goodness our Savior loves each of us, brokenness and all.

Over a week ago, my tween came down with strep throat. Sure enough, within a few days I had it myself. The first day that I started to feel more like myself, I took the youngest two kids to the park and I went for a bit of a walk—still shaky on my feet and clutching my water bottle.

As I rounded a bend in the path, I came upon a couple that was obviously having an argument—hands gesturing and frustrated anger apparent on both faces. The woman was pushing a stroller with an adorable little boy seated in it.

It was an effort to smile because: #1. I felt horribly; and #2. They were emanating hostility. However, I did so because this was my first time out of the house and I wanted to somehow fulfill my commitment to serve as the Good Samaritan would. As I attempted to smile a greeting, the woman openly glared at me, staring at my baseball cap before slowly glaring her way down to my shoes.

Let me explain. I am vanilla. I am the most typical suburban housewife you can imagine. I like myself—I am hilarious, fun to be with, and love life … however, you can’t tell that by looking at me. I radiate the image of an average American housewife.

And this woman glaring at me was not! — Her pierced facial muscles twitched into a smirk, her heavily tattooed arms pushed the stroller and her equally ferocious-looking companion strode by her side. And she clearly was ready to judge me as lacking.

The Spirit whispered to my heart, “Say something to her.”

REALLY?!? She clearly wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. She was in the middle of an argument. What could I possibly say?

“Say something to her.”

So, I began to speak, hardly knowing what words came out of my mouth … something about how adorable the little boy was and how old was he. She stopped walking, stopped glaring, and stood for a moment, assessing me, before answering that he was four months old. Her companion looked off into the trees lining the path as she and I continued to talk about her son—clearly the light of her life as she grew more and more animated sharing all about his accomplishments.

My voice and throat would not allow me to talk for long; however, when we parted she was smiling and began to speak pleasantly in tones of surprise as her companion returned and they continued on their way.  After completing the entire circle of the path, I sat on a bench to recover and wait for my darlings to finish their play. As I sat there, I observed this same couple reach their car.  And with clear happiness in their demeanors; work together in getting the child and stroller into the car.

I am not claiming credit for improving their moods. I am not saying they would not have worked out their differences whether I had spoken or not. But I am going to bear witness that there was a change felt after we spoke—there was a comradery between mothers, a shared smile, and a feeling that the world was full of friends yet unmade.

In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Savior’s final words to the lawyer are, “Go, and do thou likewise.” May I offer the same advice? Go. Smile.  Be pleasant to others, no matter their outward appearance—in either physical demeanor or in countenance. Do as the Savior would do in reaching out in love—in word, in deed. There is such a need for more loving words, more acceptance of what is different, and more truly Christ-like behavior from those of us who claim to follow Him.

Enough arguing. Enough noticing what is different, what divides. Celebrate our uniqueness! Celebrate the incredible diversity that the Creator of All made when He created everyone! Love each other without judgement and, I promise, you will be amazed at the incredible examples surrounding you.

To read more of Emlee’s articles, click here.

Everyone has a story of inspiration and strength—when you pre-judge, as the woman at the fabric store did with my sister-in-law, you miss opportunities. How wonderful could it have been for her to introduce her child to a true hero, a true patriot—instead of spreading poisonous vitriol?

We, as followers of Christ, MUST step up and be better. We must reach out. We must love. If we, who know the fullness of His love do not, then who will?

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

In Matthew, chapter 15, Christ is teaching a group of four thousand men, and an unknown number of additional women and children. These followers had been listening to Christ teach for three days. Before our Lord sent them away, He wanted to be sure they were fed, “I will not send them away fasting, lest they faint in the way.”

His disciples were willing to obey, but not exactly sure how to do so—after all, they were in the middle of nowhere, a wilderness, and this was a LOT of people to feed.

The Savior asked, “How many loaves have ye?”

And they said, “Seven, and a few little fishes.”

The Savior then took the food, gave thanks and brake the loaves and fishes—giving them to His disciples. His disciples then gave this to the multitude. And “they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets full.”

I, too, feel that I am in a wilderness. No way to make a dent in the immense need that surrounds me. There is so much of sorrow, anger, sadness—so many, many needs and I am in need myself! So, how am I to follow my Savior’s counsel to love my neighbor?

The Savior asks us to bring what gifts we have—however small our “little fishes” may be.

The Savior gives to us, His disciples—then He expects us to take what He gives us, what He’s made of our little fishes and loaves—and give it to the multitudes around us.

As we do so, we are filled with His love, those around us are filled with His love and there is more than enough to fill everyone’s needs. As we give to the multitudes around us, our own prayers are answered.

We live in a world where enough is never enough. Where we are made to feel like only the  movers and shakers can truly make a difference, but that is not so. This is a falsehood created by Satan, the great deceiver, to convince us that we have nothing to offer, so why bother trying? We need to try … we OUGHT to try because our Savior has asked—no commanded—us to do so. We are commanded to love those around us. In the parable of the Good Samaritan, we are taught to look around us and to see those in need and to HELP.

After all were fed, after the thousands upon thousands had eaten until they were full (Remember, they hadn’t eaten for three days!), there were seven baskets taken up, still filled with food.

I’d like to extend a challenge—fill a basket and give it to someone in need.

About a year ago, I was suffering with a cold. I wasn’t horribly sick, just feeling generally yucky. I happened to mention feeling under the weather to my friend as we chatted one morning. Later that same day, she brought me a basket lunch! It was filled with homemade soup in a canning jar, some homemade churros, and a bottle of juice. It was perfect!

I returned the basket and jar to her a few days later, but the act of kindness stuck with me. So when another friend of mine happened to be feeling under the weather, I asked my daughter to decorate a basket with some fake flowers, as I made soup for our family and homemade bread. I stuck a jar of soup and a loaf into the basket and dropped them off to my sick friend. Similar to what I had felt myself, she expressed her appreciation and gratitude for the nurturing love when she was feeling unwell.

Since that time, I have sent this same basket to a friend who lost her job, another friend who was recovering from a hospital stay, and a few others who were just feeling under the weather.

The baskets have each differed, depending on what I happened to be making my own family—soup, maybe chili, maybe a can of soup because it’s just been one of those days … what matters to those receiving the basket has been the thought—the love behind the gesture, not the basket’s contents. (Although those homemade churros were FABULOUS!)

So, I ask you—what is in the basket that you are offering the multitudes around you? What are you doing to be as the Good Samaritan?

This last week, I felt prompted to make up another basket to take to someone who had been bedridden for a few weeks with an illness. I put off doing so, not because I’m unfeeling, but because this woman and I had not been getting along for months. She was once a dear, dear friend, but we had a falling out and I did NOT want to take time out of my busy schedule to serve a one-time friend. I felt that she had wronged me and if I was going to take the time to serve, I wanted it to be someone I wanted to serve. (Wow. Does that ever sound like a childish rant? “I don’t want to, because I don’t want to!”)

As I realized that I had already made homemade soup and bread for my own family, and the feeling wouldn’t leave me alone—I put together a basket and I texted her that I’d like to drop by a little something. Wrongly, I assumed that I would leave it on her kitchen counter, and be done with it. Good deed done, check. Move on.

She texted me back, thanking me and asked me to stop upstairs to see her. As I did so, we chatted … and chatted … We had one of the most heartfelt conversations we have ever had in the years and years of our friendship. She expressed gratitude for her illness that forced her to stay put, so she could think. She expressed gratitude for her husband’s absence, which allowed us to speak freely of the issues that had once caused discord.

To read more of Emlee’s articles, click here.

As I left her home hours later, I had tears streaming down my face. I prayed in gratitude for the return of a friendship I had deemed lost.

The baskets we offer to those around us are not just to lift the weary and wounded on their roads of life—it is also so the Lord can answer the prayers of our own hearts.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

Thomas S. Monson

Our beloved prophet, Thomas S. Monson counseled:

“I am confident there are within our sphere of influence those who are lonely, those who are ill, and those who feel discouraged. Ours is the opportunity to help them and to lift their spirits. The Savior brought hope to the hopeless and strength to the weak. … Throughout His ministry He reached out in charity to any in need. As we emulate His example, we will bless lives, including our own.”

I share my own personal witness that this is true. This last year has opened my eyes to opportunities to serve all around. There are not enough minutes in the day to do all the good that needs doing! There are so many hearts that are broken, lives that are shattered, and faith that needs strengthened. I have learned that the Lord does not need us to do great feats of uncommon miracles. Instead, He needs us to be the quiet miracle that answers someone’s prayer.

Be a friend.

Be someone who loves without reserve. Who someone is today isn’t who they truly are within.

Be someone who listens without judgment. Watch your thoughts during interactions: No judging, only loving!

Be someone who serves, no matter what and no matter where.

Be the answer to someone’s prayer.

“We become examples of the believers by living the gospel of Jesus Christ in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, and in purity. As we do so, our lights will shine for others to see. Each of us came to earth having been given the Light of Christ. As we follow the example of the Savior and live as He lived and as He taught, that light will burn within us and will light the way for others.”

My post it note pile of lessons learned this year as I followed the example of the Good Samaritan.

I have seen and been a part of miracles. I have had the opportunity to answer prayers and to have my own prayers answered. These incredible experiences have come about because of a simple commitment: To live as the Good Samaritan for one year.

This life is a time for us to prepare to meet God. Not to pound our bodies into enviable shapes or to prove our worthiness through the size of our home or our bank account. It is a time for us to PREPARE to meet GOD. The Great Creator of All. Our Eternal Father. Too often, we are side-tracked by the crumbs of mortality and are too-easily satisfied with a full belly and warm home. Wake up and bestir yourself! You are a child of the Great GOD. Be more than an animal. Animals are content with a full belly and warm home.

Challenge yourself and ask God to stretch you beyond where you are and even beyond where you think you can become … I will share this, the journey will be much more difficult than you can imagine. Keep moving yourself forward. Trust in God. People, even those who lead in His Kingdom, will at times let you down. Put your trust in God as you move yourself to who He wants you to become. You are His beloved child and He has so much He wants to give. Every blessing is predicated on obedience and sacrifice. Are you willing to obey the Spirit’s promptings to serve? Even if it makes you uncomfortable and requires sacrifice? Every time I have done so, the blessings have been beyond my expectation.

The Lord knows how I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy most of my life. By focusing on giving everything and not worrying about whether it would be good enough, this burden of fear was removed. Empty your own mind of despair and self-doubt. Pray and focus on gratitude as you serve those around you. Prayer and gratitude are incredible tools in overcoming Satan’s attempts to have us limit ourselves!

The Lord knows how I want to do good, but there are times I fall short. Sometimes because I doubt. Sometimes because I simply dig my heels in and refuse to do what I ought to do. Thankfully, the Lord lets me repent and start afresh in my journey of discipleship.

Jesus Christ

I have learned to serve side-by-side with my children. Their efforts are not always perfect. Neither are mine! The laughter and love we share as we serve together is a gift beyond price. True, there are moments when my children don’t want to serve, like my teenage son’s understandable reluctance to shovel five feet of snow off a widow’s very, very long driveway. However, he now appreciates the lessons he learned during that experience. Experiences like that helped mold him into a man I am proud to call my son.

Home is where we seek sanctuary and peace from the buffetings of the world. Serve those you live with. Love them. The Savior knows each of us so intimately and blesses us in ways that perfectly fit our needs. Seek to be the answer to your family. Pray and ask for the Lord’s help to know how to show love to a family member—the answers have been surprising to me. A picnic lunch to help my husband break away from a too-stressful time at work; a late-night hot chocolate date with my teen daughter allowing us to re-connect as friends; serving with my younger daughters to prepare dinner for someone in need … these and countless other experiences over this year have brought a stronger peace and strength to our family.

Everyone wants to make a difference. Make a difference in someone else’s life.

Everyone wants their life to have meaning. Find meaning through service.

As I have learned this last year, service does not require any great skill set or talent. Service requires eyes willing to see and hands willing to do. There is service all around and every moment can be put to good use.

To read more of Emlee’s articles, click here.

All of this I know because I lived it. It has not been an easy journey and the changes to my heart have sometimes been painful. I am so very, very grateful to have been given this life to prepare to meet God. I am grateful for the Spirit’s prompting to give myself this challenge to walk one step closer to Him.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

Our usual weekly dates have become non-existent as every weekend has been filled with end-of-summer activities. So, when he shot me an email invitation to meet him for lunch at his office this week, I was really excited! Usually when we meet for a mid-week lunch date, this means I get to trade in my grubby mom-at-home clothes for business casual attire and we grab lunch at a nice restaurant.

He kissed me a quick good-bye in the morning and let me know that the lunch would need to be exactly one hour, because he HAD to be in a meeting. No problem … except that meant that our usual lunch at a restaurant wouldn’t be possible.

I fancied myself up (Washed my face and put on mascara and lip gloss—Whoo! Hoo!) and met him in the front of his office building. He greeted me with a tired smile and we hurriedly walked to his car. As he started the car, the gas light flashed on … he was completely empty?!?

My snarky personality wanted to comment, “Great. This is a great date. First, you haven’t made time for a real date for weeks. Then you rush this date and now you don’t even have gas!”

However, I AM trying to be more like my Savior and here was a chance to take a deep breath and get in touch with my Good Samaritan within. So, I took a deep breath and said, “This is perfect! We can head over to the gas station and fill the tank while we grab a sandwich!”

Startled … because, well, usually my snarky side wins out, so this response is not my usual … my husband glanced at me, “Are you sure? That really would make my life easier.”

“Absolutely!” (Biting my tongue so that no snarkiness escapes!)

As we drove, he filled the silence (Silent because my tongue was still being restrained to prevent any unkindness!) with tidbits about his day. As I listened, I realized how much he had been keeping to himself because he didn’t want to cause additional stress. He has been dealing with a LOT as he tries to provide for our family!

We filled the tank, grabbed a couple of sandwiches from the gas station’s store, and headed back to his office. There, behind the building were a couple of picnic tables. We spread out our lunch and began to talk as we ate. He continued to share with me about the burdens he’s been carrying. The more he shared and the more I listened, the more I realized how incredible he is!

I watched the sun and shadows play on his face as he talked. I watched the dimple in his cheek pop out when he laughed. I listened, truly listened, to him. And I fell in love all over again.

It was less than an hour. It was just a couple of sandwiches from a gas station served on a couple of very old picnic tables. But, I am so very, very grateful for that moment in time to stop and really be there for my husband.

To read more of Emlee’s articles, click here.

Too often we forget to appreciate those who are right next to us in the trenches of life. We serve our neighbors in need, we serve those at church who are in need, and we look to serve strangers. Today, look at those who you live with day in and day out. How can you serve them? How can you love them a little better, a little more deeply, a little more personally?

My snarky side often makes my husband laugh … however, restraining my smart mouth allowed me to be kind to the man I love most … which turned out to be a blessing for me. I was able to see the man that he is trying so hard to be and fall more deeply in love with the man that he is.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

My favorite day was our visit to Rickett’s Glen State Park, with its National Natural Landmark: the Glens. WOW. Every single hike there has gorgeous waterfalls. We hiked about 5 miles of tough trails with over 20 amazing waterfalls!

As we clambered over boulders, I noticed that everywhere I looked, people were attempting to leave their mark in this beautiful area.

Carved handrail

The quaint wooden bridge’s handrail was carved and written all over with people leaving their names, their loves, and their life’s motto.

Cairn of stacked stones

Cairns of stacked stones were everywhere!

At one point, we discovered rocks balanced one atop another in a breathtaking formation. Crowds of people stopped to take a picture!

Balanced rocks in formation

Of necessity, we needed to stop often so I could catch my breath. As I enjoyed the beauty around me and attempted to breathe a bit more regularly, I watched as my children explored the area we were stopped in. My teen daughter started to make her own mark on the park—carefully laying one stone after another in a twisting design along the riverbed.

Is this need to leave a personal mark on the world something inherent within us?

Teen laying stones in a design

I pondered this as I watched her carefully choose out the exact rock she wanted to use next before placing it next to the last. Then she stood back to contemplate her work. To my daughter, these were not just rocks, this was something meaningful she was creating. To the person who took time to create the rock-balancing formation, it was something meaningful.

Why? Why do we so want to be more than creatures that eat, sleep, and go through our daily living? Why is there something deep within us that makes us want to be more? Wouldn’t we be more content if this drive to leave our mark wasn’t there? Wouldn’t we be more at ease if we just left things as they are?

Impressive stack of stones in the river.

The answer is no. We would not be more content. Because we are creations of God and He has placed within us a divine spark that causes us to be discontent when we live beneath our abilities. This same spark causes our hearts to ache with a desire to help when we see someone in pain.

You see, my journey of living as the Good Samaritan had led me to act quite out of character this week. I reached out in a BIG way to a fellow journeyer on this road of life and invited her to come into our lives for a couple of days.

Rock with markings on it.

It was difficult to reach out to the parents of my son’s friend and ask for permission to fly their daughter out to visit for a few days. My natural reticence made this a very uncomfortable conversation. However, I overcame this because I was driven to do so.

As I watched Maria pick her way carefully along the path, I caught glimpses of her white arms. There, in the light, I could see where Maria had made her mark of despair and hopelessness. There, I could see the still pink scars that marked when Maria had given up and had tried to take her life.

Waterfall

How could I not reach out and attempt to make a mark of my own in her life? A small offering of comfort and love to remind her that there are those who care so very much for her.  A few days of sight-seeing and laughter were not much. But I hope and pray that they leave their mark. I hope that when life next feels dark and lonely, that Maria will KNOW, as I pray everyone knows, that she is needed. Each person’s special, individual mark is needed in this world of ours.

I smiled as I watched the kids climb down into a pool of icy water and start a waterfight with each other. Their laughter rang out as they splashed and swam together. Of course, I couldn’t resist the lure of such invitations and soon I was shivering with cold as we splashed together.

To read more of Emlee’s articles, click here.

We squished along the trail in our wet hiking clothes, laughing together at our silliness.

As we rounded another beautiful bend in the trail, I noticed a design made on a boulder below. Someone had painstakingly taken small leaves and formed words. I don’t know what the words said, but the message was loud and clear, “Leave your beautiful mark on the world.”

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

Her criticism hurt

This last month, I’ve been heavily involved in a community outreach project. The person who bore responsibility for running our area is a remarkable woman. She is polished, confident, and very direct.

Working closely together gave me the opportunity to learn from her and to see how she handles set-backs. It also gave her the opportunity to see where I needed course corrections, which she gave in a very direct, no-nonsense fashion. It hurt.

As I walked out of her office the first day, my heart hurt at the candid criticisms leveled my way. The Spirit whispered to my heart. In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan cares for the injured man, takes him to an inn to be cared for, and goes on his way. The Samaritan does not wait for the man to recover so as to receive gratitude. He sees a need, serves, and moves forward with what he needs to do.

This is what I knew I must do in this situation. Mine was not to complain within my heart at the method of communication, mine was to do. Mine was not to find fault with a perceived lack of compassion and appreciation, mine was to do. So I did. I served wherever I could. In any way that I could lighten this woman’s load, I did.

When I grabbed myself a water bottle, I grabbed two and left one on the corner of her desk. When she needed a doorstop, I ran to 3 separate buildings to find her one. When her pen ran dry as she scribbled notes, I silently handed her mine. Wherever and however I could lighten her load, I tried to do so.

Did she snip at me while communicating a need? I focused on what needed to be taken care of, rather than the method of communication.

When I grabbed myself a water bottle, I grabbed two and left one on the corner of her desk.

As I did so, I discovered a wonderful, incredible gift! The pain of being criticized was gone. Absolutely gone! It was replaced by a deep and abiding love and affection for this woman. I saw the weight of her responsibilities and my heart ached for all that she was sacrificing for this project and all that she needed to do.

She did not express any gratitude for my extra efforts. In fact, in the highly stressful situations, she was often even more blunt in her style of communication with me. But it didn’t matter! I was so focused on serving that my mind had no room for taking offense! I felt compassion for the stress she was under.

Charity allowed me to overcome a weakness I have struggled with my entire life! By focusing on serving and loving, I had no room for Satan to attack my heart and mind with thoughts of not being good enough or with thoughts that someone was unfairly being unkind! What a relief! What a wonderful gift from my Heavenly Father!

I learned that when I am so busy loving and serving someone, I have no room in my heart for their actions to hurt me! Instead, greater empathy and compassion came into my heart the more I focused on lightening her burdens.

We control which direction our thoughts take. We control how we perceive others and situations. By taking control of my thoughts, and focusing on serving rather than allowing hurt to reign, I was able to accomplish more and with more composure than I have ever done before. I amazed myself in many situations that before would have caused me tears of anguish. Instead, I could stand tall, enveloped in a spirit of love and compassion. It was empowering and absolutely amazing.

To read more of Emlee’s articles, click here.

By following the example of the Good Samaritan by simply serving wherever there was a need, with no thought to myself, I learned to act with charity. Not the charity that is feeding the hungry or giving shelter to the homeless. Charity that is patient with someone’s less-than-stellar moments. Charity that causes me to be sympathetic and forgiving when, before, I would have taken offense.

The Good Samaritan wasn’t concerned with WHO was right, he was concerned with DOING right. This week, I learned the power that comes from focusing on doing right. The power to overcome hurt. The power to love.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

This week I have been privileged to volunteer at the Philadelphia Pennsylvania Temple Open House.  For those not of my faith, a quick explanation.  A temple is literally “The House of the Lord”, which means we use the very best materials, workmanship, and artistry in a temple that isn’t  found in our everyday meetinghouses. Our meetinghouses are where we meet together on Sundays for worship and anyone who wants to may walk in off the street and attend a meeting. We also have youth activities, congregational and community events hosted at our meetinghouses. Right now, there are over 18,000 meetinghouses around the world!

Philadelphia LDS Temple at dusk

Our temples, however, are a LOT more sacred to us. In fact, once a temple has had its dedication, where special prayers are said, it becomes a sacred space for those of our faith. Once dedicated, only those adhering to the highest standards of our faith may enter our temples.

We have opened a new temple here in Philly, so we are hosting an open house to the public, free of charge, for anyone to come in and see the beauty of the temple and to step away from the pressures of life to feel of the peace in a temple.

It is an incredible experience! Behind the scenes there is a LOT of work! As I have worked there, I have been so humbled by the examples of service around me. I have also been stunned by the examples of entitlement and arrogance as well. People who seem to feel that because of who they are related to or where the Lord has asked them to serve it has somehow given them a right to treat others as less than.

Actually it reminds me of the Dr. Seuss book The Sneetches, where the poor Plain-Belly Sneetches are treated as lesser than the Star-Belly Sneetches. In the story, the situation reaches a point where an inventive Sneetch creates a machine that will put stars onto bellies which allows formerly Plain-Belly Sneetches to now have stars upon their bellies. This makes them equal to the other Star-Belly Sneetches. Well, that can’t be allowed, so the original Star-Belly Sneetches bet the stars taken off their bellies, so they can again be different, thus better, than the other Sneetches. It goes round and round until the Sneetches no longer know who is who and everyone accepts everyone as they are, star-bellied or not.

How I wish I could create such a machine as I watch someone with a clear sense of entitlement waltz in and expect sycophantic and pandering treatment. A machine that will cause everyone to see each of us as we really are. (*hmm … seems like that would be the message of Christ, His gospel, right?)

Then have been the inspiring, humbling examples of service that make me want to be a better person, simply because I am privileged to associate with such greatness. I have watched leaders tirelessly work from 5am until long past midnight, trying to ensure that everyone coming to the Lord’s House feels loved and knows that our Savior knows and loves them. The details and work happening behind-the-scenes to make everything run smoothly are overwhelming in their complexity and these leaders are tirelessly cheerful as they go without sleep, grab bites of granola bars and sandwiches to make everything happen.

Philadelphia LDS temple baptistry

I was stationed one day next to another volunteer. As we chatted together, I learned that he was a veteran of the Gulf War and had broken his back as a paratrooper. Yet, there he stood, smiling and welcoming everyone coming in as he worked security. As we continued to get to know one another, I learned that because he wanted to be very sure the snarl of traffic coming into Philly every morning didn’t make him late, he came the night before … and slept in his truck. He SLEPT in his truck on the streets of Philly so that he could VOLUNTEER all day as a security guard. Because he so loved the temple and the city he had grown up in that he wanted to share its beauty with everyone.

Then there are the teenagers, giving up summer vacation time to sit for 5 hour shifts placing shoe coverings over visitor’s shoes as they enter the temple. (This is to protect the new carpet. It has no religious meaning. With over 150 thousand visitors expected during this open house, we need to try to keep the carpet clean!) So, we have teenagers sitting, ready to help slip shoe coverings over shoes. Not chasing imaginary creatures around in a game of Pokemon Go! Teenagers serving with smiles and happy countenances.

What a wonderful, living testimony to what religion lived with integrity can do in the life of a generation of youth that are so often viewed as self-centered and lazy. These youth are hard-working, selfless, and a joy to visit with!

Yesterday, I was checking off names at my spot and my co-volunteer shared that she was having trouble reading the names. When I looked confused, she shared that she had eye cancer and was going in for treatment. The NEXT day!?! She was there working and had worked the day before, even though she had cancer and was going in for radiation treatment that would leave her quarantined for four days. Why? Because she, too, like the security guard, loved the temple and wanted to help others experience the peace and joy she felt there.

To read more of Emlee’s articles, click here.

How can I not serve with my all when surrounded by such quiet, dignified examples of discipleship surrounding me? How can I not contrast these incredibly selfless people with those who waltz in and expect a red carpet treatment? Those who expect the red carpet are so obviously living off of an image, a tenuous, fragile, ego-driven image that will crack at the first trial.

The quiet volunteers are dealing with adversity and still serve those around them, with no thought of recognition or reward, but simply because they love the Lord. They know who they are and they know the Lord knows who they are. Because of that knowledge, they know where to turn for peace and strength. That knowledge makes them want to share that same peace with everyone, even complete strangers. I am privileged to serve by their sides.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

People who take selfies have shallower relationships.

Reality-TV watching is directly related to self-absorption.

Seflie

“A study by Larry Rosen at California State University, presented at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association, showed how teens who spend too much time on Facebook are more likely to show narcissistic tendencies and display signs of other behavioral problems. Rosen said the negative effects of teens overusing social media include making them more prone to vain, aggressive and anti-social behavior and that excessive use can lead to poorer academic performance.”

(https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201306/do-facebook-and-other-social- media-encourage-narcissism is a great article listing several studies showing these frightening results.)

It’s ironic that I’m writing an article for a blog (social media) about the downfalls of social media.

Social media can be a great tool for strengthening relationships—if the focus is on the other person and not on making yourself look good. Social media is a wonderful tool for looking for opportunities to serve—if the focus is on looking for quiet cries of help and not on your superiority. Social media can be an incredible tool for sharing truth—if the focus is on adding a positive, uplifting message and not on engaging in contention.

Social media is a TOOL. Like a hammer.

You can use a hammer to build a bird house. You can use the exact same hammer to smash the bird house to bits. The hammer doesn’t change. It is your choice of how to use it that affects the outcome.

I think the connection between social media, taking selfies, and selfish behavior is pretty obvious. What about the relationship between watching reality TV and self-absorption?

When I have time, I enjoy watching “Biggest Loser” and “Shark Tank” … does that make me self-absorbed? Maybe. Maybe not.

Pliers, Hammer, and tools.

I do know that these shows promise quick results. Lose weight that took years to accumulate in a matter of weeks! Have your idea bring you millions of dollars with the right connections!

This is reality TV, but it is not reality. In my life and in the lives of those around me, change takes time and hard work and sheer grit. There is no quick-fix.

I have a girlfriend who is absolutely inspiring with her physical fitness. She’s a certified personal trainer and is training for bodybuilding competitions.

A little more than 2 years ago, she was a woman in her forties who struggled with extra weight and decided to make lifestyle changes. She shared with me how she doubted herself, how she failed and tried again and failed again. She faced insecurities and others around her who doubted the worth of her goals, yet she did it! And the journey taught her more about herself than she expected. She hoped to lose weight. She was thrilled to also lose fear and self-doubt.

My sister was a partying alcoholic who hit rock bottom years ago when she found herself harassed by collection agencies; in tens of thousands of dollars of debt; twice-divorced; and a whole host of other problems.

She is now debt-free. She only has a high school education, so paying that off has required a willingness to work long hours as a waitress—getting bossed around by teenagers who were shift supervisors. She is now married to a good man who treats her well and loves her sons. She still has so much further to go, but she continues to move herself forward, despite set-backs.

Waitress

I can give many, many more examples. What all of these individuals share is a willingness to acknowledge their responsibility for moving their own lives in the direction they want to go.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? Are you doing today what it takes to get you there to that vision of your hoped for future? Or are you sitting there hoping that someday a reality TV director will show up on your porch and make your dreams reality?

I love Longwood Gardens—people come from all over the world to tour the grounds because they are stunning. For years, I watched reality TV shows on HGTV and wished someone would come make-over my backyard. 

Then I decided to do it myself: one year we planted grape vines over an arbor. Another year we added swings and chair hammocks for reading. Another year we planted blueberry bushes. It is so thrilling to see our home become a peaceful sanctuary of natural beauty.

Are we where I want to be yet? No. The journey to get there is long and costly in time and finances; however, I am enjoying the lessons learned along the way. I love the long talks with my husband as we discuss what changes we will tackle next, together bringing our vision for our home to reality.

Who do you want to be? In your friendships? In your character?

About a year ago, I looked at my life and realized that I wanted to be more compassionate. Up to that point in my life, I just kind of figured that some people just had ‘it’—the compassion gene. Instead, I had the ‘suck-it-up-buttercup’ gene, which distinctly lacked compassion.

The Good Samaritan

So, I set a challenge for myself to live as the epitome of compassion—the Good Samaritan. For a year, because I needed a finish line. I also needed accountability, which is how this weekly blog came into being.

The blog has been a blessing because it makes me think as I write about the lessons I’m learning in this journey to discover compassion.

This last week, I had several social interactions which were perplexing. In a nutshell, I was helping to host a private reception held in a church building. Several individuals just walked in and started helping themselves to food set out for the guests. These individuals had not been invited. When these individuals were asked to leave, they created a scene by complaining loudly that they had every right to be there—it was a church, wasn’t it?

At the time, I was focused on keeping the ambiance quiet and appropriate for the invited guests. So, I nicely, but firmly, escorted these problematic individuals out of the reception.

That’s exactly what needed to be done. However, in retrospect, I believe I should have responded with more compassion, with more understanding of their feelings, with more love.

Were they invited? Absolutely not. Were they always welcomed in the House of the Lord? Absolutely. How to balance that dichotomy?

To read more of Emlee’s articles, click here.

With love. So easily, I could have taken a few extra moments to grab a couple water bottles from security for them. So easily, I could have taken a few extra moments to help them schedule a time that they would be able to come onto the grounds. So easily, I could have taken a few extra moments to love them, rather than view them as a problem to be dealt with.

Our culture of social media doesn’t help us to think of others first. But we must. These shows that promise quick change are not my experience. I want to have more compassion, and I still fall short. I need to pick myself back up and try to move forward with more focus on others and less on my agenda. I need to continue to move forward to becoming more like my Savior, which is a private journey and not one chronicled on social media or on a reality TV show. It is engraved upon my heart, one decision at a time.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years. 

“The more we treasure the words of the prophets and apply them, the better we will recognize when we are drifting off course—even if only by a matter of a few degrees.”

“In 1979 a large passenger jet with 257 people on board left New Zealand for a sightseeing flight to Antarctica and back. Unknown to the pilots, however, someone had modified the flight coordinates by a mere two degrees. This error placed the aircraft 28 miles (45 km) to the east of where the pilots assumed they were. As they approached Antarctica, the pilots descended to a lower altitude to give the passengers a better look at the landscape. Although both were experienced pilots, neither had made this particular flight before, and they had no way of knowing that the incorrect coordinates had placed them directly in the path of Mount Erebus, an active volcano that rises from the frozen landscape to a height of more than 12,000 feet (3,700 m).

As the pilots flew onward, the white of the snow and ice covering the volcano blended with the white of the clouds above, making it appear as though they were flying over flat ground. By the time the instruments sounded the warning that the ground was rising fast toward them, it was too late. The airplane crashed into the side of the volcano, killing everyone on board.

It was a terrible tragedy brought on by a minor error—a matter of only a few degrees.

Through years of serving the Lord and in countless interviews, I have learned that the difference between happiness and misery in individuals, in marriages, and families often comes down to an error of only a few degrees”*

(*This story and all following quotes are from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2008, “A Matter of a Few Degrees”)

Last week, as I continued on my journey of living as the Good Samaritan, I stumbled across the importance of awareness. Too often, as we journey, we drift a few degrees off course without even realizing it.

I stood in the hallway listening as a few women were chatting about this and that. One of the women is a leader in our youth organization. She shared about the stress of running upcoming activities. Another woman asked about the role of one of her advisers. The leader paused and with a weighty tone in her voice, significantly lowered her voice and said, “Well, she does TRY, but I really can’t count on her, you know?” Everyone glanced knowingly at another and nodded in agreement.

I was furious.

What is my religion about exactly? Gossip or love? Acceptance or dominance due to a role of leadership?

Because the one woman is in a temporary leadership position, she has the right to cast aspersions on another?

Here’s what they didn’t take the time to think about. The woman they were so easily dismissing and gossiping about? She’s a convert to the church, willingly changing everything about her life. Still so insecure in her role in the youth program that it causes anxiety. Often she doesn’t come to the activities because she is scared to death she’ll make a mistake. I don’t blame her.

What if she does make a mistake as she learns? She’s already being gossiped about instead of encouraged. She’s already being treated as a lesser follower of Christ’s gospel, even when she is giving her absolute best. She knows that this leader looks down on her and doesn’t see her as an equal part of the team.

This is wrong. This is not you-killed-someone-now-you-need-to-repent wrong, but it is still wrong by a degree or two.

“Small errors and minor drifts away from the doctrine of the gospel of Jesus Christ can bring sorrowful consequences into our lives. It is therefore of critical importance that we become self-disciplined enough to make early and decisive corrections to get back on the right track and not wait or hope that errors will somehow correct themselves.

The longer we delay corrective action, the larger the needed changes become, and the longer it takes to get back on the correct course—even to the point where a disaster might be looming.”*

This week, we threw together a last-minute dinner for friends that came in town. We haven’t seen them in years! Once dinner was eaten, we sat enjoying the sounds of our children screaming with joy and laughter as they played. Our friends shared that they recently sold their home and are relocating because of the pain of gossip in their congregation.

Young men ostracizing and mocking their son’s slight Asperger’s Syndrome.

Women’s gossip about my friend’s parenting of her 5 children. To the point that these women felt comfortable enough in their self-righteousness to confront my friend about her short-comings … my friend had just given birth to twins and her mother-in-law was dying of cancer. She felt overwhelmed.

My friend was asked to lead the teen girls in the congregation. Every decision she made was undermined by the women she had been asked to lead. Did they want to print lettering across the backside of the girl’s clothing? My friend felt strongly against this, yet these women did it anyway. Did they want to spend the entire budget on an expensive activity? My friend felt the youth needed to serve the less fortunate and the monies could be better spent elsewhere. The women coordinated the activity through texts and phone calls behind my friend’s back.

When the leadership of the congregation was brought into the fray, she was told to “Learn to work together. Your counselor is my wife and she has a lot of experience you could learn from.”

The breaking point came when their son returned from a scouting activity with the other youth in this congregation and, in tears, told his parents he never wanted to go back because of the teasing he had experienced.

They are moving away from these individuals. Selling their home and relocating a family of 7, all because of unkindness and self-righteousness.

What kind of Christians behave in this way? As followers of our Savior, we have a responsibility to rise above such behavior, to seek a better way. We are COMMANDED to love one another and to serve as He did.

These small acts of unkindness have led to a larger consequences than were intended. I am sure that the involved individuals didn’t set out to hurt someone to the point that they would relocate their entire family rather than interact with such unkind individuals.

We need to listen to the better side of ourselves when we find ourselves around someone who, for their own purposes/insecurities, attempts to belittle another person. We need to rise above such behavior and behave as a follower of Christ should behave—with love.

We need to stop even thoughts of unkindness towards others and focus on love and service. What a mighty people we could be. The Lord cannot be pleased with such self-serving behavior and He asks us to be better.

If you find yourself, a degree or two off course, now is the time to change. Be the person who speaks up on another’s behalf. Be the person who reaches out to those standing on the sidelines. Learn about their journey. The most humble, quiet individuals often hold inspirational stories of overcoming adversity.

“Our Heavenly Father knew before we came to this mortal existence that negative forces would tempt us to drift from our course, “for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” That is why He prepared a way for us to make corrections. Through the merciful process of true repentance and the Atonement of Jesus Christ, our sins can be forgiven and we will “not perish, but have everlasting life.

To read more of Emlee’s articles, click here.

Remember: the heavens will not be filled with those who never made mistakes but with those who recognized that they were off course and who corrected their ways to get back in the light of gospel truth.”*

This world celebrates and rewards behavior that is unacceptable to our Lord. We have to learn to distinguish between what He wants and what is easy. Then we choose for ourselves which road to take. For myself, I am re-committed to watching my thoughts, my words, and my actions that they might be pleasing to the Lord.

Emlee Taylor

Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference.

Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of more than 20 years.