I would laugh to myself and try to come up with a snappy answer but after a while, I got tired of the snappy answers and just said: “I pray a lot”. This got me thinking about how larger families (and even smaller families) handle the day to day activity of their lifestyle without losing their minds. There are a few “tricks of the trade” which I have discovered along the way which can help.

1. Pray and Read together: This is the number one most important activity you can do with your family. Whether at night or in the morning, whatever works for your family, do it.   Praying and reading scripture verses together gives everyone incredible strength to carry on. You won’t be without problems, but when conflict does arise, attitudes are different. There is a calmness and strength over the home which helps each member of the family.

A member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints church’s leadership, Henry B. Eyring,  says this about family prayer: “Parents should teach their children to pray. The child learns both from what the parents do and what they say. The child who sees a mother or a father pass through the trials of life with fervent prayer to God and then hears a sincere testimony that God answered in kindness will remember what he or she saw and heard. When trials come, that individual will be prepared.”

There is something about prayer and reading verses of scripture together that helps a family. It’s difficult to understand how it works but know that it has worked when we were actively praying and reading and is a testimony to me to keep doing it.

2. Talk together a lot: It is amazing how many families don’t do this especially with the onset of the internet, video games and tweeting. Somehow talking together gets pushed aside or children are too enthralled by what they are playing to really have any conversation. Talking at night is

Building Strong Families
To read more of Valerie’s articles, click the picture.

a great way to find out what happens at school instead of right after they get home. Teens are more open at night and their guard is down. Talking in the car also is a great time to get the communication going. Children are in a confined area and have no way to get out. Turn off the electronics and just start talking.

3. Let all children participate in chores: I know sometimes this can be harder on the parents than on the children at first, but if you start from the beginning at an appropriate age for chores, then this becomes a habit and one that children will appreciate eventually. I have had numerous conversations with adults remembering when they were young with grandparents or parents doing some kind of chore together. Standing on a chair to wash dishes, folding laundry or pumping a well for water might have been mundane chores at the time but as adults those became cherished memories. Do yourself and favor and set up a chore chart or a time when everyone shares in the cleaning of the place where they live. Even if you have a housekeeper, children still need to know how to take responsibility for their own room and belongings.

4. Schedule Weekly Activities on Paper: This is one of the best things we ever did with our children. Each week when we sat together, we wrote the days of the week and added what we were doing on one single page and hung it up on the refrigerator. Piano recitals, sports games, school meetings, church activities, doctor’s appointments or whatever we were doing for that week was written under that day so we can check periodically what we were doing. With so many children going in so many directions, it was such a time savor and benefit to keep straight who was going where. If anyone had a change or update, we could add to our weekly calendar.

Now my children are raising their own children and have the tools necessary to be successful in their own life and these good habits will be passed down through the generations.

Valerie Steimle

Valerie Steimle has been writing as a family advocate for over 25 years. As a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she promotes Christian living in her writings and is the mother of nine children and grandmother to twelve. Mrs. Steimle authored six books and is a contributing writer to several online websites. To her, time is the most precious commodity we have and knows we should spend it wisely.
To read more of Valerie’s work, visit her at her website, The Blessings of Family Life.

First, faith is for the future. Faith is a principle of action, or motion. As we take one step forward, we progress one step further from where we are to where we need to be. It has been said that God doesn’t move a parked car. If we find ourselves trapped in a pit of complacency, or becoming too comfortable, the best thing we can do is move. This may take us outside our comfort zone, and it may inflict growing pains upon us, but that is the purpose of this life, to grow and become something better.

Second, faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. We learn a great deal about this deep longing for the past when we consider Lot’s wife. Somehow in her attempt to move forward she didn’t think that God could give her more than she experienced before. Nothing would ever be better, so why go forward at all? The best way that I cope with this mentality is to remember how the Lord has blessed me so far. “He guides the future, as He has the past” the hymn says. (Be Still My Soul)

The Single Life
To read more of Ashley’s articles, click the picture.

This particular situation of moving is not a new one for me. Several years ago, before my mission, I lived in Arizona and studied at Eastern Arizona College. Just before what would have been my last semester before receiving my associate degree, I applied to BYU. Somehow during the process I accidentally applied for the semester before the one that I had intended. To my shock I was accepted and was to begin classes in April. All of my friends were in Arizona. I literally didn’t know a single person in Provo, Utah. I was close to graduating with my associates. Shouldn’t the timing have been wrong? Yet, I felt so strongly to move and to do so then. Looking back I have seen hundreds of people who have been placed in my path all along my way. Now, years later, I recognize many of the people I needed to meet, the jobs I needed to have, and the experiences that would mold and shape my character. God led me then, why would He not lead me now?

Third, When I graduated from high school, my only desire in the world was to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. However, at that time I had no money saved, and therefore, my dream seemed a complete and total impossibility. However, God knew my desires, and He knew how to get me out on a mission. A series of miraculous events occurred and I was able to be there and to experience all that a mission has to offer. It is my belief and faith that God also knows my other righteous desires, particularly for forming a relationship and creating an eternal family. If He helped me find a mission companion, surely he will help me find an eternal companion. Marjorie Pay Hinckley once said, “Everything you are learning now is preparing you for something else.” I truly believe that each stop on our journey makes us stronger and helps us to move forward better prepared for what lies ahead. God will never leave us unprepared if we work with diligence and faith.

Finally returning to the words of Jeffrey R. Holland, which perhaps are just for me, but which may help you too, “Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever.”

Ashley Dewey

Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life.

Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language.

Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn’t feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work.

Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.

As the little people grew and we watched them learn so naturally and wonderfully, we considered college. After study and research we decided they could go to a junior college, starting half way through their junior year. We could help them negotiate the transition to an actual classroom and they could earn enough credits between their junior and senior years to be a transfer student to a four year college. Junior college credits and ACT or SAT scores would provide the experience a college would want.

We’ve semi-confidently spouted this plan to those who asked. We’ve heard of other young people who have followed this plan and successfully gone on to graduate from college.

Then our children grew up.

Our first child decided not to go to high school because she wouldn’t have enough time to read. She set a goal her freshman year to read 100 books. She was done in 3 months. She has definitely read! She started junior college on our theoretical schedule, in the middle of her junior year. There wasn’t really this strenuous transition to an actual classroom. She then decided to continue at a community college, instead of going on to a four-year university right now, so she can save money for a mission.

Child number two looked quite seriously at high school, but decided she wouldn’t have enough time to write if she went. She has written four books. She has decided to NOT attend junior college at all. She will instead prepare for ACTs and is hoping to attend college starting the middle of what would be her senior year.

Child number three has decided to go to high school. He did a ton of research and preparation on his own to get there. We don’t take education decisions lightly. This is his plan for his education and he’s having a great time. I’m still adjusting.

Now I know from other parenting issues that all of the skills I gain from parenting one child are seldom applicable to another child. Their plans not only don’t correspond with the plan we initially made, they aren’t always what we would choose now that we’re here. I’ve made suggestions and encouraged. So far, my advice has been taken only rarely. It’s a side effect of raising children to think independently.

Learning at Home
To read more of Britt’s articles, click the picture.

Having a child go to public school has been a curiosity to all of us. We’ve marveled at the paper work. We’ve all had to adjust to the schedule. I had assumptions. I assumed I would at least be making lunches. I forgot that this son has been trained to make his own lunches for other adventures and he had assumed that would apply to school as well. I may or may not slip in an occasional love note with the pile of food he requires to sustain him through the day. I assume you kiss your child goodbye before you send them to school for the first time, even, or perhaps precisely when that child is almost 6ft tall. He’s stronger than me, so we negotiated on the kiss. He asked his college-aged sister for advice on what he would need. I tried to be as nonchalant as possible through this process. I definitely do NOT have the emotional range of a teaspoon. I am excited, scared, nervous, and hopeful. I have felt like I failed him and also was amazingly successful at getting him here. I’ve remembered major educational milestones and pondered his birth. I’m going to miss him horribly around the house.

We chose homeschool partially so we could meet each child’s unique educational needs. We have enjoyed allowing them to learn on their own schedule. I just didn’t know how far that individuality would carry them.

It appears we will have ten different educational plans, one for each child. I’m interested in what they will be! I hope I like their plans!

Britt Kelly

Britt grew up in a family of six brothers and one sister and gained a bonus sister later. She camped in the High Sierras, canoed down the Colorado, and played volleyball at Brigham Young University. She then served a mission to South Africa.

With all of her time in the gym and the mountains and South Africa, she was totally prepared to become the mother of 2 sons and soon to be 9 daughters. By totally prepared she means willing to love them and muddle through everything else in a partially sleepless state. She is mostly successful at figuring out how to keep the baby clothed, or at least diapered, though her current toddler is challenging this skill.

She feels children naturally love to learn and didn’t want to disrupt childhood curiosity with worksheets and school bells. She loves to play in the dirt, read books, go on adventures, watch her children discover new things, and mentor her children. Her oldest child is currently at a community college and her oldest son is going to high school at a public school. She loves to follow her children in their unique paths and interests.

She loves to write because, unlike the laundry and the dishes, writing stays done. Whenever someone asks her how she does it all she wonders what in the world they think she’s doing.

In this program, teachers have transitioned into being mentors. They no longer stand in front of a group of teenagers and lecture for forty minutes. Instead, they choose a topic and then start asking their students questions. For instance, the topic for September, 2014 is commandments. On Sundays, after the worship service, all the Mormon teens meet together for Sunday School. Then they separate into gender-based classes. If there are enough youth, they are also divided by age in each class—two ages per class. The teens will be studying the topic of commandments in each of these classes.

This is an interesting way to do things, because girls in a class that is taught by women and which only has girls in it will often discuss topics differently than they will in a mixed class. The same is true of boys. They may discuss different angles of the subject than they will when they come together in Sunday School. They will gain different perspectives by studying the subject in two different classes and to each class, they will bring what they learned in the other class.

Each class has a list of questions to choose from. Some of the questions for boys are the same as the ones for girls; others are different. The questions were chosen by international leaders who oversee the programs. The program for girls is led entirely by women and the program for boys by men. Teachers and students can choose which sub-topics are most relevant or important to them.

One question both groups are asked is, “How can I be in the world but not of it?” Let’s look at how this question will be tacked in the classroom.

Young Women: How can I be in the world, but not of it?

How Students Learn to Answer Hard Questions

We’re going to take a look at how the girls will learn the subject. First, the teacher is asked to prepare by reviewing a variety of resources on the topic, both ancient and modern. Then she is asked to choose which of those resources would be most helpful to her own class, making the lesson personalized. That means that if she was to teach this question again next year, it is likely she would do it very differently, since she would have different students with different needs at that moment.

The lesson, which is online, can be updated at a moment’s notice. If a Church leader gives a really powerful sermon on the subject tomorrow, it can be added as a resource. If a current event occurs related to it, that can be added.

The teacher is offered a list of possible ways to lead the class. One way is to introduce the question and to ask the girls what they think the question means and if they have any thoughts on it starting out. Another suggestion is to show a video and let that lead to a discussion. If I was teaching a group that I felt would know a lot about the subject, I would choose the first. With less knowledgeable students, I would start with the video.

Then the girls begin to do their research. They study from among the resources offered and share what they learn with their peers. They can each be given an individual resource or they can be asked to study as a group. They are asked follow-up questions to help them dig more deeply into the subject.

Throughout this process, the teacher is guiding the work, helping the students learn how to find answers and to use the resources to learn how to answer the weekly question. This is more challenging for the teacher because, although she makes a plan, she has to be prepared to be flexible. The lesson proceeds according to what happens during the research and discussion phase. The girls, in the course of their work, may come up with complicated questions or unusual angles. The teacher must have spent a great deal of time learning the topic herself in order to be able to adapt quickly to the needs of the girls. At the same time, she needs the self-discipline to refrain from telling the girls the answer. Her responsibility is to teach them how to find it for themselves.

At the end of class, the girls are asked whether or not they feel they need an additional week on the subject. They are also asked to study on their own and to try to have a personal experience with the topic, which they can report on the following week.

How Could Public Schools Benefit from This Method?

When I was in school, some teachers seemed to feel education involved opening my head and pouring information into it. The best teachers, however, encouraged questions, debate, and thoughtfulness. Many of them are probably already using this method.

The world has an extraordinary amount of information available to it, much of which is inaccurate. The Internet makes it easier to find both the good and the bad information. Few know how to do good research in order to find out the truth and weed out the propaganda or gossip. With the proliferation of standardized tests, thinking is less valued.

Imagine students walking into their history class and seeing written on the board, “Why did the early inhabitants of the American continent feel it was okay to take land from the Native Americans?” Their minds would automatically register the question and it is likely they would begin to think about it.

Now imagine the teacher, instead of giving her opinion on the subject, dividing the class into small groups at tables that had books in the center. Each group is given a subtopic question to answer. They are told to take the books, study them, and find the answers. Perhaps they could even be asked to figure out which books were the most valuable.

When they are finished, they come back together and each group teaches the other students what they learned. Then, as a class, they begin to discuss the subject, with the teacher helping them learn to discuss respectfully and guiding the discussion with an occasional follow-up question.

Mormonism
To read more of Terrie’s articles, click the picture.

What would be different at the end of the day? It is likely the debate would continue on after class. I once had an English class and a history class that covered the same time period. In English, we read material written during the time we were learning in history. One day we encountered a contradiction between our high school history book and an original source document we read in English. The discussions on the subject went back and forth between the two classes for a few days, fascinating the teachers, since the students were initiating it. It even continued into our lunch breaks for many of us. Our teachers brought in new materials for us to look at so we could find the answers for ourselves, and we took what we learned in one hour into the next.

This is the type of education we want for our students. We want them thinking for themselves, immersing themselves in a topic, and sharing ideas. It is what the Mormon youth program is inspiring—and using the same topic in the public schools could have a powerful impact on our students in schools as well. Study the program and see for yourself what Mormonism can offer your schools, even with the religion taken out.

Come Follow Me

Terrie Lynn Bittner

The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.

I remember hearing my mother humming as she did the dishes when I was a child. It gave me a feeling of peace and security to hear the contentment and happy lilt of her voice. She was probably trying to drown out the noise of my siblings and I as we thundered through the house having adventures. But for me it always made me want to join in. Every time I did she would stop, so I soon learned not to sing along. But it’s still a favorite memory. As a kid it gave me comfort.

When I was eight I was baptized; as all the kids who want to be are in LDS congregations. My friends were baptized too. At every baptism the newly baptized person needs to dry off and change after the dunking. So to entertain the congregation there is usually a video played or hymns sung. When I was eight there was a popular church video that was supposed to remind us that families are forever. It missed the mark though. All I remember was the gut wrenching heartache of the boy in the video as he lost his mother- the most wonderful woman in the world. The music playing had these words: “I’ll build you a rainbow. Way up high above. Send down a sunbeam all plum full of love. Sprinkle down raindrops, teardrops of joy. I’ll be happy in Heaven watching over my boy.” They have stayed with me all these years because of the power of music and lyrics. And I still ache for that little boy who lost his mom. To me it was cruel and horrible, and still makes me cry. It’s one of the reasons I am so determined to live well into my child’s adulthood. I can never let him be that little boy. But I digress…

Another great memory is watching the Dukes of Hazard with my brothers. When I would hear that theme song start up I’d come running. I loved Bo and Luke Duke and their bows and arrows. I still love hearing the guitar intro to that song. It’s an iconic show for my generation of southern kids. I learned my first lessons about family support and helping the underdog while watching those shows. Add to that the A-Team, and Thundercats and you have my early childhood. Their theme songs were the melody of many happy memories.

Living the Christian Life.
Read all of Patty’s articles by clicking on the photo.

I also remember the first time I really listened to the words of the song that was playing on the radio. I was driving home with Mrs. McDaniel. I looked up to her and when she asked me if I had a type of music I preferred, I had no idea what she meant. My Dad loved classical music. And aside from the before mentioned theme songs I didn’t know the names for anything. So I let her choose. I was eleven so when she suggested love songs I almost threw up in my mouth. But I let the song play to see what she meant. The words were sweet, but it did make me want to puke. It was then I began to realize that music was something that would forever have a power over me. To this day I am cautious with the music I listen to. Because the lyrics stay with me and affect my emotional state. But they also teach beautiful lessons.

I’ll never forget hearing that a sweet relative was getting a divorce. It was the first in my husband’s side of the family. And the hurt and betrayal reverberated off every one of us as this horrible woman hurt him over and over again. Kelly Clarkson’s song “Since you’ve been gone” became the marching music of that time for me. It gave me strength and was a great outlet for my anger. The words are so appropriate in the chorus where it said “Since you’ve been gone I can breathe for the first time. I’m so moving on….” This former relative of mine had caused so much contention for so many years that we needed some kind of anthem for her leaving.

So now we start tying these memories to the great lessons of life. If you learn nothing from what I say in this article, please remember this. It’s really important to listen to the lyrics of what you are jamming to. That day with Mrs. McDaniel taught me that quite powerfully. And I’m glad I learned it because later in my life, as my friends were enjoying songs with elicit lyrics, I noticed when they didn’t. And we were all saved having those lyrics stuck in our heads, or worse, having them affect our thoughts and actions. It’s up to each of us to guard our own minds, and hopefully the minds of our innocent children, ‘till they are old enough to be on guard on their own. So choose good music. Choose to keep the light of Christ with you and you’ll be at peace. I wouldn’t trade my peace for anything. So enjoy your music, and remember it’s making a memory.

Patty Sampson

Patty thrives on all things creative. You’ll often find her in the garden pretending she is a suburban farmer. She loves meeting new people, and is devoted to her friends and family. In her heart she is a Midwesterner even though life has moved her all over the country. She believes in “blooming where you’re planted” and has found purpose in every place she has been. She has a deep and abiding love for the Savior and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And she loves editing LDS Blogs because it is a constant spiritual uplift. Not many people can say their job builds their witness of the Savior.