His sisters and I continued to try to correct him and sing more of the song to help him learn that it didn’t stop at the one phrase. However, he just kept confidently blurting out the same line over and over, and with such joy. I didn’t think too much of it at the time, but the more I pondered it, the more it struck me. The Lord teaches us as much as we can learn. He teaches us line upon line until we gain confidence in one thing. Slowly, over time, we learn more and more, but just like the child, in the moment we are blissful with the portion we do know.

Furthermore, I found a second lesson: that there is value and beauty in just trying your best as you press forward. The fact that a four-year-old child was singing that song made it even more cute and beautiful that it wasn’t complete. How many moments in our lives do we hold back because we don’t have everything perfectly figured out? 

As I thought about it, I realized the number of times in just a few short days that the kids just jumped in and gave it their all in whatever way they could. If they didn’t know how to do something, they just tried the best they could. Drawing, baking, basketball — they just tried. They found joy in learning and getting better. When facing an obstacle, they just pressed on. 

For example, the 9-year-old girl had a vision of a pinwheel in her mind (a recipe a previous sitter had created). She talked about it and asked over and over if we could please create it. She couldn’t really remember anything beyond the fact that it tasted good, and a list of a few ingredients that she believed it contained. So we went to the store and purchased the ingredients. I was skeptical when she described the creation, but I helped her along and followed her instructions. We created some edible type of food. In my mind, it was messy, but in her mind, it was a masterpiece. She was so proud of herself for remembering all of the steps and putting things together in a way that it tasted just how she remembered. 

She overcame obstacles along the way. Her older sister kept telling her it wasn’t possible. “You don’t even know the recipe; why do you want to try?” We didn’t have everything at the house that she needed, so she asked if we could go and get it. She picked out each item with great thought and care. When everything was together, she jumped into action and worked with zeal towards her vision.  

What if we approached life as a child? What if the next time we had an obstacle or opportunity that was bigger than us, we jumped all in and did our best no matter the outcome? What would the results be? Would we teach a lesson with a one-sentence song, or create a new meal for our family? Even if it doesn’t turn out, what do we have to lose in the process? 

Line upon line, we get to grow and create our lives. We aren’t in it alone. There are people who cross our paths for a short time and family who are around a little longer — and most importantly, Heavenly Father really is here watching over us and cheering us on as we learn, grow and progress. I believe He assists us all along the way. It is up to us, for as Patricia Holland said, “We must have the courage to be imperfect while striving for perfection.” 

Ashley Dewey

Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life.

Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language.

Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn’t feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work.

Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.

After a year of intense experiences, the truth is that I am still striving to find the lighthouse every day. Some days my view is clear and focused, and other days I have to look long and hard through the clouds to see even a glimpse of the light. L. Todd Budge said it best: “Trusting in the Lord includes trusting in His timing and requires patience and endurance that outlast the storms of life.” This endurance to outlast the storms of life describes my life well. As far as a diagnosis, the only possible definition I have been given is conversion disorder. In my opinion, this is fibromyalgia of the brain—or, in other words, “Something is happening to you, but we don’t have a solid reason as to why.” Even more confusing, the psychiatrists and neurologists keep sending me back and forth to each other. So even if I do have the disorder, there is no agreed treatment plan. 

The lack of solid answers has been frustrating, but it has also led to a beautiful dependence on a loving God. It feels like I am a toddler again learning how to walk, but this time I get to learn with God. The poet Rumi stated:

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.”

That is how it feels. I’m slowly getting rid of preconceived notions of what my life should look like and how I should feel. Instead, I am choosing to accept that I don’t know all of the answers, that I can’t fix everything by myself, and that there is so much more to a person than any illness or other obstacle they face in life.

It’s hard to say which came first, the depression or the doctors, but the reality is that I struggle with mental illness. I’ve been told by people I dated in the past that those with such problems would be hard to love. Family members and friends have pointed out the stigma, but most importantly, I have been hiding from myself in shame and embarrassment. The truth I’m discovering is that my illness doesn’t make me less or more than anyone else. It simply is my trial and obstacle at this time in my life. (We all get different versions of that.) I believe in some weird way, God is using this experience for my good. 

There are many things that I can’t control as I push my way forward through life, but I’m learning to be intentional about the things that I can. Some daily practices have become essential. Getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, surrounding myself with good music and spiritual things, spending time in the sun, being with people, and, most of all, service are what get me through. If I am intentional about those things, the Lord makes up for the rest. Even still, I faint sometimes—and while I despise it, if I intentionally choose to let it go, then I can usually get right back to my life in a matter of a minute or so. 

One day maybe this whole thing will go away or maybe there will be a treatment. But if not, I am working to find meaning and purpose in my everyday life. I gave up a while ago on doing anything grand or amazing and instead find hope in the small acts of goodness that I can provide. I can pray. I can write a note. I can send a text. I can do a little here or there.  

Currently, I’m doing pretty well with keeping the dark suicidal thoughts aside. I can’t guarantee I’ll never have them again. Sickness and weird episodes of varying degrees that are unexplained are tiring. The darkness comes in waves and not always when I would expect it. However, a friend really helped me put it in a perspective that has been working to keep me grounded. She explained that while suicide feels like you are only hurting yourself, the act actually acts more like a suicide bomb, spewing your pain and sadness onto all of those around you. I don’t always feel the purpose in my life, but I do value the happiness of others, so this has been extremely helpful for me. 

Every day I get to pick up a few more of the broken pieces of my life and slowly put them back together again. This comes in small steps like going to the gym four times a week with my brother and sister-in-law. It comes in spending 15 minutes a day trying to clean my room. It comes in answering people honestly about how I’m doing. It comes from chatting with my roommate rather than hiding in my room. It isn’t huge chunks of the puzzle at a time, but slowly every piece is starting to come together again, and I can see that there is more than just a pile of pieces: there is a picture and a plan for my life.

Instead of an ending, maybe the conclusion of my story is simply just a beginning. The conclusion is a new start to the next chapters of my life. Even though I don’t have all of the answers, I know enough to keep pushing forward. I know that through it all, I will have the love of my Savior by my side. I know that my weaknesses, sins, and overall shortcomings won’t prevent me from that love. That love, I believe, is what will heal my body and my soul. 

Ashley Dewey

Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life.

Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language.

Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn’t feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work.

Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.

Just as the people who attend the various bridal showers differ, so do the gifts and advice. While I find the gifts interesting, it is the advice that I find even more so — for just like the gifts given, some are practical and some are just for fun. Some you decide to keep and other you discard.

Through the years, I have heard much good advice given, which I have stored away for the day when I will embark on that sacred journey called marriage. Here are a few pieces of counsel I have found particularly first-rate:

– Go into your marriage with both eyes open; afterwards, close one eye and squint through the other.

– Go to the temple often with your spouse — at least once a month. This will remind you of the covenants you have made individually with God and together with your spouse.

– Make sure to sincerely share your love with your spouse every day, in words as well as in other ways.

– Never let the sun go down on an argument. Make peace before you go to bed so that you do not do so with a festering wound in your relationship.

– In addition to personal and family prayers (once you have children), make time to have couple prayers every day. This will help you and your spouse grow closer together, and will bring a special spirit into your relationship. It allows God to be a part of your eternal union.

– To keep love alive in your marriage, look for ways to serve each other every day, and make sure to show your appreciation for that which is done for you.

I think that the reason all of these words of counsel have resonated with me is because they all remind me that I can’t take my (future) loving relationship for granted. Love takes work and needs daily nourishment to stay strong and alive. It needs the touch of God, for everything He touches lives.

There is one last word of counsel I would like to share that has had a great impression upon me since I first heard it. The story reportedly goes like this: One day the prophet President Spencer W. Kimball was speaking to a returned missionary. He asked the young man what his plans were for the future. After sharing his education and career plans, the young man said that every night, he prays that he’ll marry the girl he loves. To this, the prophet advised the young man to instead pray to love the girl he marries, explaining that the first prayer would end with his marriage, whereas the second prayer never would, so it would be continuously answered throughout the rest of his life.

So what advice do I give my friends as they prepare to get married? Often it is what I have just shared with you: make sure God is a part of your marriage in every way possible, never take your loving relationship for granted, nurture your love through service and gratitude, and enjoy the journey.

This post was originally published in July 2008. Minor changes have been made.

Julia G

Coming back onto the grid after my second full-length hospital stay was extremely intimidating. I felt like everyone was watching me and afraid I would break at any moment — or at least, those who knew where I was during that time. Everyone else was very inquisitive and confused by the simplicity of my answer to my whereabouts of the past little bit. My confinement to a small place was lifted. I got my cell phone back that I hadn’t had in four days, and felt weird using it. 

Disconnecting from my phone was really a great thing. It allowed for “less Wi-Fi and more Nephi.” If you haven’t taken a technology break recently, I recommend even just an hour or two here and there. It is a practice I have continued, and it has made a tremendous difference. 

Continuing to disconnect has been valuable because if I’m being honest, I am sometimes still ashamed of my circumstances. I judge myself for having been in a behavioral hospital. It makes me feel as though I am somehow weak or less capable than others around me. At times when I do go back on social media, it can be easy to compare where I have been with the beautiful pictures of where everyone else appears to be.

During this time, comparison led to shame — the same shame that caused me to be vague with most people. I just told everyone that I had been in the hospital and had finally been released because I was doing much better. The simple nutshell version was easy, but also made me feel like a liar. Still, the bones of it were all true. A hospital visit had occurred, and now it was over. The truth is, I still wasn’t sure if I needed to be there or not. 

Liar or not, I was doing much better. It was time: I had to get back to life and one step was going back to work. I had so much to get caught up on. I had been in the hospital for a total of 14 days at this point and had missed about three weeks at my job. Piles of emails, events still to be planned, and phone calls to be made awaited me — and you know what? It felt great! Doing normal life things was a tremendous gift. Too often in life, I have taken “normal” for granted. 

This wasn’t the end of my journey. I fainted a few more times in a few weird places that landed me back in the ER. At this point, it was almost a joke. I would wait and see how long it would take me to convince doctors and nurses to let me leave. My boss once again enforced the wheelchair rule and I wasn’t able to drive a work vehicle. Restrictions began again. 

This truly was an “opposition in all things” experience. The very joy I felt in being normal started to be replaced with sorrow and disappointment. What had I not learned in this extremely long lesson? How much longer would God cause me to endure this impossible and frustrating trial? There were not a lot of answers. 

Soon I found myself sitting in a follow-up appointment with my doctor. It was there that I pointed out that the less medication I took, the more success I had. He wanted to change my medications again and I countered that maybe it was time to stop taking them altogether. Perhaps taking no medications was the real answer. He told me he felt it was a bad idea, but that I could try it for 10 days. I started that very day. He helped me to wean off the one medication that I couldn’t quit cold turkey. A new record was made — 32 days between episodes!!! 

After going so long with such success, I felt like I was on top of the world again (or at least the normal version of my own world). However, I may have pushed myself back into life a little too quickly. After working a 5-hour temple shift and a 10-hour workday, I ended up passed out on top of a box of hangers at a register. It really freaked out the customer standing in front of me, who called the ambulance. I got the opportunity to go back to the hospital again. Guess what? A new medication came shortly after that — but this time I began being treated for some weird blood vessel thing in my brain. On this medication, I was incident-free for another 36 days. One episode in 65 days is a true miracle!

Heavenly Father must have known how deeply I needed this break from it all. It was a relief that allowed me more hope than I can even express. It helped me to remember what it was like to feel healthy. The break in the storm reminded me that while God does give us more than we feel we can handle, He also finds ways to ease the burdens that are placed upon our backs. 

Trials can be a lot like a storm. You can feel peace and calm, and even sunny for a time. However, clouds roll in, the lightning of life strikes, and soon there is a downpour of difficulty. The storm can be light rain drops or hurricanes of hard. Yet through it all, we can have a lighthouse of hope leading us back to where we need to be. 

Ashley Dewey

Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life.

Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language.

Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn’t feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work.

Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.

After my prayer that night, I felt a mix of peace and discomfort. I was so incredibly uncomfortable that I decided to try to sleep. At this point, I had been awake since 7 a.m. the day before and was almost 24 hours without sleep. I tried to lay down on a really unfortunate bed with one blanket and one pillow. I looked over and saw the girl to my right and wondered what her experience had been. Suddenly, I was sleeping in a room with a stranger. I laid there, eyes wide open, terrified for what felt like an eternity. I guess it was only 15 minutes because a tech stuck their head in to check on us. I soon came to learn that these techs check on us every 10-15 minutes. 

via nurse.com

After three more visits, the tech came to wake us up. I quickly got out of my bed and walked around until I found a place where there were other people. A woman walked up and asked me if I wanted any coffee. I replied that I don’t drink coffee, but thanked her. Soon 14 other women were in the room who looked to be in varying degrees of crisis. Their eyes looked sad and hard. I started to worry for them. I was still confused about what was happening. Soon a new tech named Gabriel came and replaced the first one, and I asked him a lot of questions. 

Gabriel became another angel to me in this story. He apologized for how I had been admitted with no information. He gave me a schedule. He explained what we would be doing every day. He told me what to expect. That calmed my nerves and fear a great deal. I was able to shower, change my clothes, and make a call to my brother. 

Talking to him was sheer luck. His phone number had been in my hospital room on the white board in front of me for five days. When I was bored, I would memorize the number to distract myself. In that moment, I saw God’s hand. If I hadn’t known the number, I couldn’t have told my family where I was or what was happening. 

My brother was very surprised to hear where I was and even more surprised that I hadn’t reached out to him for help. My brother had recently gotten engaged and was extremely busy with fiancé and wedding stuff. He also had his 5-year-old son in town visiting. I felt like his hands were pretty full and didn’t want to be a burden to him. I explained all of this to him, but I could tell he still felt hurt. Apparently, my bishop had called him the night before and given him a talking to and asked if he cared or not. I’m sure that was hard. 

A few minutes after my phone call, everyone left to go down to the cafeteria. Because I was a new admit who hadn’t seen a doctor yet, I was kept “on unit” and ended up watching the news while I waited for someone to bring me food. I ate while everyone else was coming back from breakfast, then wondered what would happen next. It seemed sort of anti-climactic because everyone sat in a room coloring for the next hour. 

Because everyone else was coloring, I figured I was supposed to do it as well. During coloring time, a therapist came and met with me. A doctor pulled me aside and spoke to me and took a medical history. Finally, a psychiatrist met with me and asked me what my goals were. I told them I wanted to get off of as much medication as possible since I had felt better before taking them. 

The psychiatrist seemed pleased and surprised since I guess most people go there to get on medication. It was a new challenge. They immediately took me off of all of my medications and replaced them with only three. I fainted only a few times that day. However, when you faint, you can’t leave the floor either. So I stayed in and colored and watched the history channel while everyone else was away at meal times. 

via Talkspace

We began having group therapy sessions. To be honest, at first I thought that it was a waste of time. Everyone else in this place had attempted to kill themselves. I heard the most insane stories. All I had done was faint. I hadn’t felt so confidently sane in weeks! I thought, “How on earth is listening to these extreme versions of stories possibly going to help me?” I had a bad attitude. (Probably because I was now on hour 36 without sleep!) 

We had more group therapy. Gym time. Snack time. Coloring — so much coloring. Chatting with people about their problems. My brain was getting very weary, but I couldn’t go to bed until at least 8 p.m. when meds were given out. Finally, I slept some. It felt good to get that relief, but still kind of weird to be sharing a room. The girl I was sharing a room with talked in her sleep, which was entertaining. My bed was near the door and I woke up often to the person checking on us every 10 minutes. Sleep wasn’t extremely restful. 

The next day, I started by fainting and slamming my head against the cement floor beneath me. I could hear the doctor and his assistants laughing at me while it happened. (Note to doctors: Don’t laugh at psych patients. It isn’t helpful.) I tried to get up to go to my room to cry alone, but I kept falling. Gabriel noticed the struggle and came to assist me to my bed. I laid there and for the first time since being admitted, I wept deeply because of my circumstances. 

I felt like there was no hope left. The doctors once again were telling me I was crazy, and this time they even laughed. It made me feel small and unimportant. I don’t know if Gabriel told the psychiatrist or if he just happened to walk by while I was letting out my emotions, but either way, a new man came in. We talked some more. He apologized for the doctors and asked me what I wanted. He changed my medication again. He also gave me a wheelchair so that I could leave that room with the others. This made a big difference. 

That day I got to go to gym time, mealtime, and outside breaks. I wheeled around the gym in circles. It felt awesome to get some energy out, and also frustrating because I wanted to run or something. However, I had to count my blessings to be out of the same four walls. Feeling the sun and wind on my face while others took a smoke break was amazing! I appreciated the quiet moments to feel the warmth of the outdoors. Eating with others made mealtime go much more quickly, and I even got to choose for myself what I could eat. I had no idea that there were options. I thought for sure I would start to get better soon. 

That night, I slept very well and was feeling very good. I started contributing in groups and trying to make the best of the awkward situation. I started to listen other people who were having extremely hard trials. Their trials made mine seem so minimal. I began to feel an insane love for the people around me. I found myself praying for them during the day and at night. I wanted them to get better and be able to leave too. 

My family was able to come for a visit and my bishopric member called. I got to see my mom and my brother for a little while. It was nice to feel their love and their kindness. They were good at respecting the rules of the establishment and coming when they were able. It was still awkward for me to admit how I was doing, considering where I was at. The phone call, while unexpected, was helpful. It made me feel like I wasn’t forgotten. 

After two days on the new medication, it seemed like I was doing well enough to get rid of the wheels. I didn’t faint any more in that place. Maybe we had figured it out! I was so hopeful. They wanted to keep me longer, but I just really wanted to get out and get back to life as soon as possible. It took some convincing, but on the fourth day, I was released. 

If you have never been in a lockdown, keep-watch situation before, you can’t understand the depth of release and freedom that I experienced upon leaving that place. It felt like even though I got to go through the very depths of hell, God had loosed my bands and set me free. Being able to walk out of there and into the sunshine with my family around me was a glimpse of heaven. 

That moment of freedom reminded me of how many things the Savior has done for me to set me free. This wasn’t the first time He had interceded on my behalf. It wasn’t the first miracle I had seen, and yet I would forget them as I went through the experience. The longer the trials lasted, the more my focus was on the hard and the bad. I learned the importance of cherishing moments of freedom and light. I hope you will stop today and think of what good you have seen, and what miracles you have experienced — it really can make you feel free. 

Ashley Dewey

Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life.

Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language.

Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn’t feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work.

Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.

Back to the hospital we went, and what happened next may have been the most traumatizing experience of my life. I was told to undress. I was not allowed to have any of my belongings and was to put on a hospital gown. A social worker came in to talk to me. She asked if I would be safe through the night. I responded that I didn’t know. Because I couldn’t confidently answer her, she told me that I needed to go into a behavioral health unit to get some immediate assistance with medication management, etc. 

My bishopric member and his dear wife stayed with me while I waited. We became very bonded in that room. They told me stories about each other, and I even learned about their individual struggles. They were so very kind in a time when I was so very frightened. All that I wanted in the world was to feel safe. Their kind presence was stripped away rather quickly, however, when an ambulance driver showed up. A couple of them moved me to the second gurney, took all of my belongings, and wheeled me out of there at rapid speeds. I turned to say goodbye and saw the expressions of concern on their faces. 

After a quick 15-minute drive, I was wheeled into the behavioral hospital where a nurse and a psychiatrist met me and took me to a room for an evaluation. They asked me what I was feeling and had me fill out some paperwork. I explained the fainting spells and how nothing was found physically so I was hoping for mental help to get better. She asked me what I had to gain from the fainting spells. I told her I felt like they had ruined my life and didn’t feel they were super helpful. She asked if I was coming in voluntarily or not. (It felt like a trick question!)

She wrote some notes and took me into a separate room. I was again asked to undress. She evaluated my entire body, noting every mark and scar. I had never felt so vulnerable in my life. She took everything I had away from me and gave me a brown paper bag that had a few things I could keep. She walked me down a hall behind closed doors and dropped me off. 

I wasn’t sure where to go or what to do. I stood there frozen for a moment and then approached what looked like an information desk. I asked where I was supposed to go and what I was supposed to do. The nurse told me to go my room. I asked where my room was since I was brand new and hadn’t ever been there. She walked me down a hallway and into a room where someone else was sleeping. She pointed to the bed and told me that this was where I would be. In about 40 minutes, everyone would be waking up. I asked if was supposed to stay there or what. She told me I could decide and walked away. 

Overwhelmed and feeling quite alone, I began to pray. I started to plead with God to help me and make the most of this intense and terrifying situation. I didn’t know anyone or anything that was happening. God was the only one that I could turn to in that moment. I clung to Him in a way I had only experienced a few other times in my life. He was my friend and He would stay with me so that I wouldn’t be alone. He knew if I was crazy or not. He knew where I was even though I didn’t. 

Through that experience, I recognized that there is some beauty in darkness and difficulty. When you hit rock bottom, the only direction to look is up. Those circumstances reaffirmed my belief in God. They strengthened my faith in Him and His plan. The pain, the fear — every emotion — helped me to understand the value of developing a relationship with Him throughout my life so that in that moment, I would know Him. I hope that everyone has a chance to need the Savior so desperately, because it changes you.

Ashley Dewey

Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life.

Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language.

Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn’t feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work.

Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.

“We seldom perform to the level of our knowledge. This brings me to the subject of resolutions—resolutions to conform our lives more closely to what we already know about the gospel. While many of us take seriously our New Year’s resolutions, some of us may not have made any because of our prior problems in keeping them. We must not overlook the power that making good resolutions can have in helping make our lives happier and more successful—regardless of our past performance” (Elder Joe J. Christensen, “Resolutions,” Ensign, Dec 1994, 62).

I love that, don’t you? “We must not overlook the power that making good resolutions can have in helping make our lives happier and more successful—regardless of our past performance.” Wow. What a powerful thought.

Isn’t it just like the adversary Satan [see footnote] would want — to have us give up in discouragement? What a potent tool to keep good folks from striving to do more! Discouragement works to keep many from attaining self-improvement.

The whole point of a Christlike life is to make ourselves more whole, more complete, more like Him. We don’t have to do it overnight. Life is a process, and so is growth. As you contemplate possible goals or resolutions for this new year, remember that a flower doesn’t bud overnight from a slender stalk.

Here are several suggestions for New Year’s resolutions or areas for growth during 2008 – at least for the category of “Preparedness” that this blog discusses:

1. Completing your family’s 72-hour kits
2. Finding/reading excellent preparedness books
3. Aiding your community to become more prepared (i.e. establish a CERT group)
4. Educational preparedness (take a class to build your work knowledge or resume)
5. Learn a living-off-the-land skill (i.e. growing medicinal herbs, foraging for food, chopping wood)
6. Increase your physical preparedness (i.e. eat healthier foods, exercise)
7. Incorporate new food storage recipes (set a goal for a certain amount by the end of the year)
8. Increase your spiritual preparedness (i.e. read your scriptures a certain amount during the new year)
9. Add medical supplies to your year’s supply by the end of the next year
10. Add pet supplies to your year’s supply
11. Add toiletry supplies to your year’s supply
12. Complete either your three months or one year’s food supply.

These are simple suggestions. You might have better ones. Don’t plan on accomplishing them all; just pick one. Decide on a goal that is simple, straightforward, and easily achievable, so that by the end of next year you will have done it! You will have actually accomplished one of your New Year’s resolutions! And in a life-saving category. The important thing is that you do it.

Your family will count you most blessed for it.

(1.) “Satan lives. We must realize that he lives just as certainly as God lives and as we live. Those who teach that there is no devil are either ignorant of the facts or are deceivers” (ElRay L. Christiansen, “Power Over Satan,” Ensign, Nov. 1974, 22).

This article was originally published in December 2007. Minor changes have been made.

Cindy B

“My 1999 car shows the wear and tear of 105,000 miles. But it is still dependable. My apartment is modest, but quiet and relaxing. My clothes are well suited to my work, which is primarily outdoors. My minimal computer needs can be met at the library.

 

In spite of what I don’t have, I don’t feel poor. Why? I’ve enjoyed exceptionally good health for 53 years. It’s not just that I’ve been illness-free, it’s that I feel vigorous and spirited…I also cherish the gift of creativity. When I write a beautiful line of poetry, or fabricate a joke that tickles someone, I feel rich inside” (“A Life Full of Riches,” Newsweek, December 24, 2007, p. 19).

As his essay continues, one conclusion he reaches is that the only thing he really misses in his lack of material goods is the connection with the rest of society that either has or craves them. But, he says, “I’m happy to live without [a high-end TV]. In fact, not being focused on material goods feels quite natural to me.”

When the rich young ruler came Jesus asking what he needed to do to gain eternal life, the Savior named some of the great commandments: Thou shalt not kill, nor commit adultery, nor steal, nor bear false witness. The young man must have seemed to accept all this, for the Savior went on: Thou shalt honor thy parents. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

The young man said he’d been doing all of these things from his youth. What was left for him to do? Jesus said unto him: “If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me” (Matthew 19:21).

Jesus Christ and the rich young ruler.

And here the young man did an interesting thing: Matthew records that he “went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions” (Matthew 19:22). This young man, wealthy in worldly goods, was willing to do all that the Savior asked of him — as long as He didn’t ask too much. He was willing to live a generally moral life, but he was not willing to part with his material wealth. (We can guess that he didn’t even own a high-end TV.)

Where does that leave him today? We can be pretty sure that he must have passed away approximately 2000 years ago. He sought happiness from his material possessions, but those cannot help him now.

As the Lord told the prophet Joseph Smith, as recorded in the Doctrine and Covenants:

“Seek not for riches but for wisdom, and behold, the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto you, and then shall you be made rich. Behold, he that hath eternal life is rich” (D&C 6:7).

I like the example of Karl Green, the Newsweek essayist, who listed many things in his life that make him rich — not in the ways of the world, but in ways that really matter.

This article was originally published in December 2007. Minor changes have been made for timeliness and clarity.

Katie P

Have you ever felt like you need a rest from resting? For a week or so, I laid around watching tv, reading, and paying far too close attention to the ceiling tiles. My roommate was uncomfortable with me going downstairs because she was afraid that she wouldn’t know if something bad happened to me. This meant me and couch had some good bonding time. If I wasn’t depressed before, these circumstances certainly were not helping me — so I decided it would be best go back to work. 

 The fainting had not stopped. I was still having episodes multiple times a day. I would find myself on the floor or limp in a chair repeatedly. It was fine if it was only me seeing the episodes, but soon my employees and coworkers saw them too. One day I was talking to a coworker and feeling just fine. I guess I had an episode, though, because I came to with EMTs standing over me. I fainted 12 times while they were watching and, therefore, they needed to take me in an ambulance to the emergency room. They watched me for a while and determined that “nothing was wrong,” so I got a ride and went home. 

About a week later, I was still trying to go to work. (Has anyone noticed how stubborn I am yet?) I was in a coworker’s office when I fell to the floor and started convulsing. I don’t really remember it, but she was pretty sure I was having a seizure. She called the EMTs, and back to the same hospital ER I went. They told me again that nothing was wrong; that I was fine. (No tests or anything.) 

My boss didn’t really agree with the ER. He didn’t feel these episodes or me leaving in an ambulance was a good sign. He decided that if I were going to come to work, there would be some conditions. First, I wasn’t allowed to drive a store vehicle (and preferably I wouldn’t drive me own, either). Second, I had to be safety belted into a wheelchair. 

Thankfully, a kind coworker picked me up for my shift every day for three weeks. He drove me and my wheelchair to the office, and he or someone else would also drive me back home. I continued to work, but when I fainted, I was safely in the chair and didn’t have to go to the ER. The lessons I have learned from weeks in a wheelchair range from noticing ADA violations everywhere to learning how to deal with feeling trapped and stuck.

During this time, I met with my doctor almost weekly. He felt that changing some more medications was the answer. He thought maybe the doctors I’d seen at the hospital were wrong altogether and that I now had narcolepsy. We added another pill. Let me tell you, it didn’t help. It made me feel so bizarre and confused. 

One Sunday, I was sitting on my couch once again and was at my breaking point. I couldn’t understand why God would allow me to continue on this insane journey. I explained to Him that everyone thought I was crazy. That day, I’d had 28 fainting spells. I couldn’t figure out what to do next. I had fainted during the sacrament and my friend had to shake me to get me to come to. I was not feeling great and my spirits were low. I looked down at the box (literally a box) full of medication and was tempted to take the entire thing at once to feel better. 

That day was one that changed my life forever. A member of the bishopric reached out to see how I was doing. For once, I didn’t give the “I’m great” answer. I was honest. I explained how I was feeling and how frustrating the situation had become. He asked a few of the right questions and really got me to be honest. He became concerned about my mental state and asked me if I was going to be okay. I answered honestly that I didn’t know. I knew that Satan had been tempting me to finish it off and to get immediate relief. That good brother asked me if I trusted him. He said he felt strongly that I needed help. 

Help. Yes, that did sound very much like what I needed. However, I wasn’t quite sure how I would get that since I felt that working with numerous doctors over the course of months (and even years) hadn’t brought me to a good point yet. I had prayed, cried, tried medication, and worked with a therapist. What more could I do to obtain help? 

The truth is that I didn’t know, but I trusted this man — and more than that, I felt that God had once again placed the right person in my path at the right time. Instead of trusting in my highly-medicated zombie self, I felt like trusting my leader would be a good bet. Listening to his advice was the single most intense and difficult moment in my life. 

Ashley Dewey

Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life.

Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language.

Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn’t feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work.

Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.

In the 1976 Ensign article entitled “Organization Begins at Home,” author Lyman De Platt states:

“Genealogical activity begins with training the children to appreciate family ties and heritage. Developing a family book of remembrance which is used, along with the scriptures, in teaching children; emphasizing membership in larger family organizations; participating in genealogical research, temple work, and subsequent activities—these are all means to that end.”

There are many ways to light the spark of interest in our children, but I would also like to add that children aren’t the only ones whom we can inspire to begin learning their family history.

On my father’s side, I am the only one currently doing any genealogical research. How I would love for some of my siblings or cousins to take interest and join with me in discovering our family history! Of course, it takes a little more creativity to spark the interest of an adult sometimes. So I am thinking of going with the following five genealogy gift ideas for Christmas. Maybe these are ideas you can use too!

1. Family History Calendar

I’ve thought about creating a calendar filled with photos of ancestors and family keepsakes, and including a small box of information on each photo about the ancestor or keepsake featured. An example would be a picture of the sword of my ancestor who fought in the Revolutionary War.

Shutterfly is one website I know of where you can make your own calendar. (They also let you put your photos on mugs, puzzles, mouse pads and more!) Maybe you might put your family coat of arms on a mug for your father-in-law or a picture of an interesting ancestor on a puzzle for your children to put together and then tell them about.

2. Digital Photo Frame

Uploaded with family pictures, this might be a nice gift!

3. Family History Book

You can create this with the service MyCanvas. Their sample books look beautiful and the site seems very user-friendly.

4. Military History Binder

I’ve thought about compiling information on all known servicemen in our family tree. This could include muster rolls, enlistment records, pensions, photographs, etc.

5. Family Recipe Book

I would love to compile a book of all the recipes that have been passed down through the generations in our family and give it to those who love to cook and bake. To make it more personal, I may photocopy the recipes I have that are originals, written in my ancestors’ handwriting, along with a transcription if needed.

Do you have any other family-history-themed gift ideas to recommend?

This post was originally published in December 2007. Edits have been made for accuracy and timeliness.

Summer O