Sources of Suffering

The world is a temporary and imperfect place. Some of us are born with disabilities – sometimes multiple disabilities. Some of us have accidents or get sick and spend the rest of our lives dealing with the results. Some of our suffering is brought upon us by the actions or inaction of others. Again, not always our fault. Some suffering is financial, some social, some political, some from shortsightedness or the unthinking comments made by others. The possible causes of suffering in mortality are literally legion.

But those are only the parts over which we often have no control. We also cause ourselves problems by disobedience to God’s commandments. As the laws that govern happiness, ignoring or deliberately breaking the commandments always result in misery and unhappiness.

Russell M. Nelson in the April, 2011 Conference said:

The forces of evil will ever be in opposition to the forces of good. Satan constantly strives to influence us to follow his ways and make us miserable, even as he is.

It makes sense that Satan is miserable, miserable above all other creatures under heaven, as he has violated more of the laws of happiness than any other creature under heaven. As Christ is the happiest of all God’s children, having lived the laws of happiness to perfection, so Lucifer is the most miserable, having chosen to reject all of God’s laws in favor of his own path.

Image via youworry.com

The definition of sin is to know to do a thing, and then not do it (James 4:17). When we choose to not do what we are supposed to do in order to bring about happiness, how can we expect to find happiness in the wake of our violation of the very laws that grant us that happiness? The problem often comes from the whisperings of Satan. He points to those who are violating the commandments and points out how much fun they appear to be having.

What we are not shown is the long-term results of those violations. It never ends well. It simply makes no sense that anyone can expect to find lasting happiness by violating the laws that create that happiness. Temporary pleasure and enjoyment certainly is available to those who break the commandments, but we are not looking for temporary. We are looking for those things that are eternal in nature. Life is short. Eternity lasts forever.

Some believe Satan’s lies and think that they can play around in mortality and in the end the Lord will overlook their indiscretions, resurrecting them to a blessed state despite their persistent disobedience in mortality. In Alma 41:10 Alma taught about the law of restoration this way:

Do not suppose, because it has been spoken concerning restoration, that ye shall be restored from sin to happiness. Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness.

In other words, just because God happens to love you, don’t think you can ignore the laws of happiness, but still be happy in the hereafter. It ain’t going to happen. The Lord is just and merciful, but only those who go through the proper steps of repentance qualify to receive that mercy.

Everyone else who falls outside the bounds of His mercy have only one available option, and that is to receive the reward of the unrepentant soul, which does not include the eternal happiness enjoyed by those who repent.

There are those who persist in trying to find happiness in sin, but their efforts always end the same way, in disappointment. As the Nephite people were about to meet their end at the hands of the Lamanites, their sufferings from the robbers and evils of the land became so severe that they began to mourn and “repent” of their sins. At first Mormon was pleased to see them desiring to turn their lives around so they could become a happy people again, but his hopes were dashed in Mormon 2:13.

But behold this my joy was vain, for their sorrowing was not unto repentance, because of the goodness of God; but it was rather the sorrowing of the damned, because the Lord would not always suffer them to take happiness in sin.

These are the sources of our suffering. They are many, so many that all the ways we can be made to suffer in mortality would be impossible to list. Suffice it to say that wickedness causes unhappiness and sorrow. There is no escaping it. Whether it comes quickly or after a long while, misery is the inevitable end of the matter. The misery of this world is largely caused by individual and community sin. There are hurts that happen by accident even among the most righteous of souls, but they are quickly repented of, and relationships are mended as well as they can be.

Finding Peace

We are told that obedience is the first law of heaven. Why? Because every blessing is based on a commandment, a law of happiness. Obedience to a particular law will bring about the natural blessing or consequence of that law, which is something that causes happiness (D&C 130:20–21). It cannot be helped. If doing anything other than strictly obeying the commandment brings misery or suffering, then obeying the commandment can do nothing but create the opposite effect – happiness. It is really a very simple concept.

Peace in this life is based on the number of divine laws we obey. The more closely we align our lives with the laws that create happiness, the greater our internal peace. And it doesn’t matter what is going on around us. This is peace that is internal and independent of all other things under the heavens.

They are the same laws God, Himself, obeys and cherishes. They are the source of His happiness as well. He commands us to live these laws because He personally knows what happens when we live by them. Joy is the result.

Obedience allows God’s blessings to flow without constraint. He will bless His obedient children with freedom from bondage and misery. And He will bless them with more light. (Russell M. Nelson 2011/04)

Learning to Wait on the Lord

Peace is born of patience, and patience from suffering. That’s a bummer, I know, but it is just a fact of life. As we pass through the trials of this life, we exercise our faith in Christ, and He teaches us, a little bit at a time, to have faith that all His promises will be fulfilled. Just as a child insists on instant gratification, but over time learns to wait longer and longer for answers or rewards, so too must we when it comes to our petitions to the Lord.

Our Father in Heaven never ignores our sincere prayers, but He may wait a while (sometimes a very long while) before we receive the answer that best suits us, and that we are prepared to receive. He always answers us perfectly, because He knows what we can bear and how much we can handle at any one time. Some answers or promised blessings don’t even come in this life. Others may take years of patient waiting on the Lord for our answers.

Robert D. Hales said in his October, 2011 Conference address that:

… the purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences. How do we do this? The scriptures give us an answer in one simple phrase: we “wait upon the Lord.”

As we patiently wait for the Lord to answer our prayers, the Holy Ghost guides us, directs us, and prepares us for the answers we seek. The answers come when the time is right and we are prepared to receive them. This requires that we develop the patience to wait, and the trust that our waiting will be profitable to our souls in the end.

To read more of Kelly’s articles, click here.

A companion quality of patience is peace. As we learn that the Lord always answers our prayers, and that if we continue to be obedient to Him we will find wisdom and knowledge to be better today than we were yesterday, we develop an inner peace and serenity that can only come from the Holy Ghost. This is the calming assurance that we are working peacefully with our Father in Heaven, and not as His adversary.

Yes, we live in a world full of pain and violence, but it is caused primarily by personal and community sin. Most of the effects of those sins can be made to bypass us as long as we don’t engage in the sins that cause that pain.

Obedience to the Lord develops strength of character and will. It brings the Spirit of the Lord to guide us and direct us in the paths of happiness. By being obedient to the promptings of the Spirit we learn to have greater and surer hope in the promises of the Lord. This allows us to develop peace and the patience to wait on the Lord, even when it looks like we logically shouldn’t. Once we realize that God always comes through for us, and always answers our prayers, it becomes easier and easier to experience the peace that only comes from patiently waiting on the Lord.

Kelly P. Merrill

Kelly Merrill is semi retired and writes for https://gospelstudy.us. He lives with his wife in Idaho. His strength is being able to take difficult to understand subjects and break them down into understandable parts. He delights in writing about the gospel of Christ. Writing about the gospel is his personal missionary work to the members of the Church and to those of other faiths who are wanting to know more about Christ’s gospel and His Church.

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Service is the fluid art of touching another person’s life with love. To do it successfully and frequently takes practice and dedication in listening to the Spirit. President Uchtdorf has this lesson for us to learn.

Preaching is fine, but sermons that do not lead to action are like fires without heat or water that cannot quench thirst.

 

Thomas Edison, the man who bathed the world in glowing electric light, said that “the value of an idea lies in the using of it.” In a similar way, gospel doctrine becomes more precious when it is put to use.

 

Understanding the why of the gospel and the why of the priesthood will help us to see the divine purpose of all of this. It will give us motivation and strength to do the right things, even when they are hard. Staying focused on the basic principles of gospel living will bless us with clarity, wisdom, and direction. 1

Loose Yourself

Note that he is not saying to stay intellectually focused on the basic principles. He is saying that we need to go out and live those basic principles. We do that through service. It is the living of the principles through our acts of service that “will bless us with clarity, wisdom, and direction.” That clarity, wisdom, and direction will come in no other way.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks used Mother Teresa of Calcutta as an example of how a person can lose themselves, lose their life in the service of others. He then turns that lesson around and convicts many of us who attend church with the attitude of getting rather than giving.

A great example of unselfish service is the late Mother Teresa of Calcutta, whose vow committed herself and her fellow workers to “wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor.” She taught that “one thing will always secure heaven for us—the acts of charity and kindness with which we have filled our lives.” “We can do no great things,” Mother Teresa maintained, “only small things with great love.” When this wonderful Catholic servant died, the First Presidency’s message of condolence declared, “Her life of unselfish service is an inspiration to all the world, and her acts of Christian goodness will stand as a memorial for generations to come.” That is what the Savior called losing our lives in service to others.

 

Each of us should apply that principle to our attitudes in attending church. Some say “I didn’t learn anything today” or “No one was friendly to me” or “I was offended” or “The Church is not filling my needs.” All those answers are self-centered, and all retard spiritual growth.

 

In contrast, a wise friend wrote:

 

“Years ago, I changed my attitude about going to church. No longer do I go to church for my sake, but to think of others. I make a point of saying hello to people who sit alone, to welcome visitors, … to volunteer for an assignment. …

 

“In short, I go to church each week with the intent of being active, not passive, and making a positive difference in people’s lives. Consequently, my attendance at Church meetings is so much more enjoyable and fulfilling.”

 

All of this illustrates the eternal principle that we are happier and more fulfilled when we act and serve for what we give, not for what we get.

I lived in a number of wards comprised of many old timers and newly weds. We see this attitude of “what’s in it for me?” among both age groups. Some of the elderly have grown tired of serving and just want to coast through to the end of their mortal time. Some of the newly married folk want to shop for a ward where they are greatly valued and wanted, but where they don’t have to commit to anything. They want the best of both worlds.

It doesn’t work that way. In every case our personal growth depends on our personal commitment. That is true, even if our capability doesn’t equal our commitment. There are those who must learn to receive service because they can no longer serve in the ways they were previously accustomed to.

Does this mean they are not living up to their covenants? No, of course not. It just means that in this segment of their life they must learn a new skill, that of receiving graciously. They must learn to accept the love of others rather than being the one who is always giving it. In the meantime there is never a cap or limit placed on our ability to love unconditionally. As long as a person can hear, see, touch or feel with their heart, they can bless the lives of someone. That is all God asks for, that we never stop trying to do more.

Final Thoughts

I would like to close this series with an extensive quote from Carlos H. Amado of the First Quorum of the Seventy. His description of what service will do for us when we apply the principles of service in our lives is profound.

I testify that through serving our fellowmen we come to know the Lord.

 

Service makes us strong in our faith and useful in His kingdom. Service gives us purpose and courage in life. It brings us closer to God and helps us refine our divine nature. It teaches us to love and understand our fellowmen, and it helps us forget about our personal desires, eliminating selfishness, pride, and ingratitude. It teaches us to think of the needs of others, which allows us to develop the virtues that the Savior possesses.

 

Kindness, love, patience, understanding, and unity will increase as we serve, while intolerance, jealousy, envy, greed, and selfishness decrease or disappear. The more we give of ourselves, the more our capacity to serve, understand, and love will grow.

 

Those who serve will always seek to please God and live in harmony with Him. They will be full of peace; they will have a cheerful countenance and a spirit of kindness.

 

Those who serve will strive to ennoble, build, and lift their fellowmen; therefore, they will find the good in others, and they will not find reason or have time to become offended. They develop the virtue of praying for those who criticize. They don’t expect recognition or reward. They possess the love of Christ.

 

Those who serve will always be willing to share what they possess and what they know at all times, in all places, and with all people.

 

Those who serve even in adversity will maintain a living hope of a better future. They will continue to be firm in the midst of a crisis because their hope is in Christ.

 

Those who serve will accept their assignments with humility, recognizing their limitations but convinced that two people can do all things they propose to do as long as one of the two people is God.

 

With divine inspiration, King Benjamin declared, “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17). Those who serve will have greater understanding of the personality and attributes of God.

 

Those who serve with devotion, even when things don’t turn out the way they would like, are not easily discouraged, fatigued, or frustrated because the promise of peace of mind and the companionship of the Holy Spirit will never abandon them. 6

References:

Following are the talks used to support this series of articles.

1  Dieter F. Uchtdorf

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-why-of-priesthood-service?lang=eng

2  David B. Haight

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2001/04/gratitude-and-service?lang=eng

3  Dallin H. Oaks

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/unselfish-service?lang=eng

4  Steven E. Snow of the Presidency of the Seventy

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/service?lang=eng

5  M. Russell Ballard

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/finding-joy-through-loving-service?lang=eng

6  Carlos H. Amado first quorum of seventy

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/service-a-divine-quality?lang=eng

Kelly P. Merrill

Kelly Merrill is semi retired and writes for https://gospelstudy.us. He lives with his wife in Idaho. His strength is being able to take difficult to understand subjects and break them down into understandable parts. He delights in writing about the gospel of Christ. Writing about the gospel is his personal missionary work to the members of the Church and to those of other faiths who are wanting to know more about Christ’s gospel and His Church.

gospelstudy.us

When President Uchtdorf was called as a Stake President he discovered that there were so many things he could be doing that it became difficult to know what was best to do. The following quote is his description of the training he received from his leaders from Salt Lake City who came and taught him how to serve in his new calling.

These Brethren gave us the vision of what it means to establish the kingdom of God by building personal testimonies and strengthening families. They helped us see how to apply gospel truth and principles to our specific circumstances and for our specific time. To put it another way, inspired leaders helped us to see the why of the gospel, and then we had to roll up our sleeves and go to work.

 

Brethren, we all know that it takes self-discipline to remain focused on the matters that have the greatest power to increase our love for God and fellowman, invigorate marriages, strengthen families, and build the kingdom of God on earth. Like a fruit tree with an abundance of branches and leaves, our lives need regular pruning to ensure that we use our energy and time to accomplish our real purpose—to “bring forth good fruit”! 

Lesson

This is an important lesson. We can all run amok doing good helter skelter, the goal is the learn to do the most important good we can do, not just any good we can do. This is why he compares our activities to a tree with an abundance of branches. In order for us to produce the best fruit unto the Lord we need to learn to prune that which is least productive from our lives and leave only those things that will do everyone the most good.

Learning to eradicate from our lives those parts that consume our time, yet produce little good, as compared to those parts of our lives and our time which would produce much greater good, is difficult.

I was a gamer. I loved my computer game. I was doing no harm by playing it, yet the hours spent online were preventing me from doing much more good that I should have been doing. It was difficult to give up my online time. I still have daydreams about my game. I have to work hard to set it mentally aside and focus on things of greater worth to my soul.

We all have activities in our lives that need to be examined to see if they are really worth the efforts we are investing in them. Could doing something else be of greater worth to the Lord and his program of saving souls? Are there other activities and places to put our attention that would produce greater happiness for us and for others?

Advice

President Uchtdorf went on to give this advice for each of us as we try to decide what is best for our lives and the lives of those we are serving.

So how do we know what to select? We each have the responsibility to determine this for ourselves. However, we are commanded to diligently study the scriptures, heed the words of the prophets, and make it a matter of faith-filled, serious, dedicated prayer.

 

Brethren, God is faithful. Through the Holy Spirit, He will speak to our minds and hearts concerning the path we should follow during each segment of our lives.

 

If our hearts are pure—if we seek not our own glory but the glory of Almighty God, if we seek to do His will, if we desire to bless the lives of our family and fellowman—we will not be left to walk alone. As President Monson has often reminded us, “When we are on the Lord’s errand, we are entitled to the Lord’s help.” 1

Notice that there are no hard and fast rules about what each of us are supposed to do. We all have “segments” in our lives, different times of our lives where our abilities and our requirements change due to age and circumstances. The Lord expects us to continually seek him out and learn from the Spirit how best to be of service. That is part of our maturing process.

Here is some good advice from two servants of the Lord as related by Elder Oaks.

… as a mature servant of the Lord, Elder Hinckley would say, “He who lives only unto himself withers and dies, while he who forgets himself in the service of others grows and blossoms in this life and in eternity.”

 

In reality,” President Monson concluded, “you can never love the Lord until you serve Him by serving His people.”

Does the service ever end? David B. Haight stated his opinion on the subject this way.

You can’t find the word retirement in the Bible. I don’t think you can find the word in the Bible Dictionary. Isn’t it interesting to think what can happen in our lives today and what possibilities lie ahead for us if we believe and understand and have a commitment and a dedication to live the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ and to bless the lives of people? 2

I have heard people say, “Been there. Done that. I’ve done my fair share of serving. Let someone else, like the young bucks do it. They need the experience.” At what point in our lives does service ever stop blessing our lives? At what point do we outgrow our need to serve others, apart from any need others might have for their own salvation? Where would we be if the Lord ever decided that He had done enough and would do no more?

There will never come a day when we retire from service. To “retire” from service is to give up on our desire to become like Christ and to return to our Father in Heaven. To stop serving and looking for ways to be of greater service is to declare we are satisfied with where we have progressed to and that eternal progression is no longer of interest to us.

Final Thoughts

We serve because we cannot return to our God without doing so. We serve because it is only through service that the realities of godliness are revealed to us. It is living a godly life of service that creates the peace we seek through being obedient to the commandments.

To read more of Kelly Merrill’s articles, click here.

Service opens the doors to change. Service is what changes the gospel of Christ from an intellectual exercise into a living process of forgiveness and exaltation. The next part of the series will about how service affects our lives.

Following are the talks used to support this series of articles.

1  Dieter F. Uchtdorf

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-why-of-priesthood-service?lang=eng

2  David B. Haight

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2001/04/gratitude-and-service?lang=eng

3  Dallin H. Oaks

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/unselfish-service?lang=eng

4  Steven E. Snow of the Presidency of the Seventy

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/service?lang=eng

5  M. Russell Ballard

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/finding-joy-through-loving-service?lang=eng

6  Carlos H. Amado first quorum of seventy

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/service-a-divine-quality?lang=eng

Kelly P. Merrill

Kelly Merrill is semi retired and writes for https://gospelstudy.us. He lives with his wife in Idaho. His strength is being able to take difficult to understand subjects and break them down into understandable parts. He delights in writing about the gospel of Christ. Writing about the gospel is his personal missionary work to the members of the Church and to those of other faiths who are wanting to know more about Christ’s gospel and His Church.

gospelstudy.us

Note: All the references for the talks from whence I pulled these quotes are listed at the bottom of this article. Please do click on each link and read the talks. They are all wonderful in their own right.

The act of serving

Anyone can perform service. Prisoners have been made to perform community service, but that doesn’t make them saints. So what is it about service that makes a difference in a person’s life? Why is service so important?

The Lord stated in Moses 1:39 that his work and his glory is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” Considering the capacity most of us have for getting ourselves into trouble and for our habit of slipping into open revolt against our Father’s will, his goal is indeed a lofty one.

Elder Dieter F Uchtdorf

If God behaved like we do, he would have washed his hands of us long ago. But instead he serves us, and sends us servants to serve us. These servants use his priesthood power to bless our lives and to invite us to learn of God. We are even commanded through the covenants we make with him to serve each other. He spends all this energy and all these resources entreating us to choose Him and his eternal plan for our happiness. Service is the demonstration of charitable patience. It is the consequence of charitable love. For love, without selfless demonstration is no love at all.

The act of serving is important. But the reason behind our service is even more important. President Uchtdorf said this:

“The what of priesthood service teaches us what to do.

The why inspires our souls.

The what informs, but the why transforms.”

He was addressing the brethren of the priesthood, but the principle behind his statement is the same. Anyone can serve, but only those who learn why they are serving accomplish the changes service is meant to make in our souls. Elder Dallin H. Oaks echoed this sentiment when he said, “In sacred temple ceremonies we covenant to sacrifice and consecrate our time and talents for the welfare of others.”3

Elder Oaks further demonstrated this principle with this quote from C.S. Lewis.

C.S. Lewis explained this teaching of the Savior: “The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first—wanting to be the centre—wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake. … What Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they could ‘be like gods’—could set up on their own as if they had created themselves—be their own masters—invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come … the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.”

 

A selfish person is more interested in pleasing man—especially himself—than in pleasing God. He looks only to his own needs and desires. He walks “in his own way, and after the image of his own god, whose image is in the likeness of the world” (D&C 1:16). Such a person becomes disconnected from the covenant promises of God (see D&C 1:15) and from the mortal friendship and assistance we all need in these tumultuous times. In contrast, if we love and serve one another as the Savior taught, we remain connected to our covenants and to our associates.

Baptism

Many of us spend a lot of our time trying to avoid having to live like God wants us to live because we want to invent our own path back to God. But the reality is that there is only one way, the way He has declared to us. Any other path of living leads us away from God and toward Satan. That is the harsh reality.

Even our baptismal covenant requires that we take upon ourselves the name of Christ and live as he lived, lives of service. Mosiah 18:8-10.

… As ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

 

9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

 

10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

Do you see any part of that covenant that allows us to sit on our laurels and not serve others? Is there any part of that basic covenant that allows us to live in such a way as to protect our own self interest? The Savior held nothing back in his service to us. He requires that we learn to hold nothing back in our service to others as well.

Final Thoughts

We serve others because God serves us and we are trying to become like Him. We also serve others because salvation cannot be had in a vacuum. We need the service others provide for us. Others need the service we provide for them. This is an integral part of the Father’s plan for our happiness and our eventual exaltation.

Exaltation is a group effort made possible through individual determination and individual participation. But make no mistake, it requires others to be involved in the process. Just as Christ served us, so we must learn how to serve others in like manner.

To read more of Kelly Merrill’s articles, click here.

It is in the service of others that we learn the true meaning of becoming selfless and the meaning of charity, the highest of all virtues.

In the next part of the series we will explore some of the difficulties and challenges of learning how to serve. Serving isn’t always easy, no matter how pure our intentions.

Following are the talks used to support this series of articles.

1  Dieter F. Uchtdorf

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-why-of-priesthood-service?lang=eng

2  David B. Haight

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2001/04/gratitude-and-service?lang=eng

3  Dallin H. Oaks

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/unselfish-service?lang=eng

4  Steven E. Snow of the Presidency of the Seventy

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/service?lang=eng

5  M. Russell Ballard

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/finding-joy-through-loving-service?lang=eng

6  Carlos H. Amado first quorum of seventy

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/service-a-divine-quality?lang=eng

Kelly P. Merrill

Kelly Merrill is semi retired and writes for https://gospelstudy.us. He lives with his wife in Idaho. His strength is being able to take difficult to understand subjects and break them down into understandable parts. He delights in writing about the gospel of Christ. Writing about the gospel is his personal missionary work to the members of the Church and to those of other faiths who are wanting to know more about Christ’s gospel and His Church.

gospelstudy.us

In this multi-part address on service I will explain why I believe service is not easy, why it is something we have to study, learn about, and grow into. I will also give you extensive quotes on service by six General Authorities, chosen at random. That means that as good as some of these quotes are, there are other, even better quotes, still floating around in Conference talks and elsewhere that I haven’t gathered for this present purpose. I encourage you to go hunt them down. The quotes begin in the next article in the series.

My goal here is to explore the nature of service, the demands of service, and the expectations of that service. Service never leaves us unscathed. The act of service changes us just as much as acts of hate or acts of love change a person. Service is a powerful agent for change, and we need to understand that and use it to our benefit.

Back-story

Like most of God’s children, He and I sometimes don’t see eye to eye. We do this dance where I spout off about something or someone, because I am sure I know the score. I pass summary judgment and loudly proclaim in my sure knowledge of the subject that so and so is wrong and needs to change or repent.

The next step is a period of time in which the Lord sets up his teaching moment. The ducks are put into alignment, and the day arrives when he demonstrates to me that I was a fool, and I go home having eaten a healthy serving of crow.

This has been the pattern of my adult life. Life seems so simple to me. Something either is a certain way or it is not. I have a difficult time allowing certain factors to influence the outcome of a situation. It makes life too messy.

My most recent round of humility assessment came in my current calling. There was this Sunday School teacher who was a snowbird, living half the year here in town and the other half down south during the winter. My wife had wanted to live the same way, but no, I was too intractable. Someone not being available to fulfill a calling absolutely every Sunday of the year makes one unreliable and evidently somehow frivolous about life and their commitment to the gospel of Christ.

Then…

So we bought a home and settled in. We both received our callings and discovered that in our area people tend to double and triple call people to a single position. I had never seen this before and it caused me great consternation.

I’ve always had between four and eight callings at a time. My whole adult life has been this way. The callings come in cycles. When I get burned out by my eight plus callings I talk to the Bishop. He releases me from almost everything. I sit in the congregation week after week and feel unwanted after a while, but gradually I am called to a new position, then another, and another until I am back up to eight or so and am heading back in to see the Bishop. That has been my experience in the Church.

So seeing people who only teach a class every two to three weeks or only teach their class every other month seemed so wasteful to me. I went back into the Bishop to discuss the way the classes were being taught in the ward, and that is when I got schooled.

Speaking of this snowbird the Bishop listened patiently to me make cutting comments about how I needed people who were committed to being there each week, not someone who thought playing was more important than their church calling. The Bishop’s response was kind, but pointed.

He told me that this particular couple were very concerned about keeping up their health. They needed to stay active so they didn’t lose what agility and dexterity they had. Plus, being active brought joy into their lives. It wasn’t that they were slackers in the ward. They had served a couple mission, they had performed countless acts of service for ward members, had fulfilled all manner of callings in the ward and stake faithfully for many years. But right now, at this time of their lives, they needed to stay active for their own sake.

I remembered that it was this very couple that had come over to our home when we first moved in and had helped us with a project that was way above my ability to accomplish. It was done with no thought of repayment or expectation other than from the pure joy of serving someone in a way they were able to serve.

Suddenly I was embarrassed at my own narrow-mindedness. I had never conceived of this particular scenario. I just assumed that being a snowbird meant you were not serious about the gospel, your commitments, and that because you weren’t there the whole year you were of no use to your ward. That made you, by default, a selfish individual. I was wrong. I ate my allotted serving of crow (humble pie) and crawled home with my tail between my legs.

One more lesson

But my service lesson wasn’t yet complete. I was complaining to my wife – and yes, she is very patient with me – about a teacher who seems to feel that teaching more than once or twice in a month’s time is too great a hardship. I used to teach back to back lessons twice a month in church, and that was on top of all my other callings and responsibilities in the ward. Teaching a class on the spur of the moment was commonplace, and I often felt like a one man show.

It wasn’t until my wife and I had a long talk about my frustrations with service and my obviously high expectations of others that I began to realize that for some people, whether old or young, teaching wasn’t easy. For some people teaching is a source of great stress, even duress. They invest so much time and energy into their preparations that to rob them of their needed preparation time would be to cause them to feel unprepared. This can cause panic and a loss of the Spirit. It would be like calling on someone during a meeting who believes they cannot sing to come up and sing a solo with no preparation time. It wreaks havoc on the psyche and soul.

Another round of humble pie for Brother Merrill please. I don’t see this dish leaving my home anytime soon. No matter how long I try to go between servings, the recipe keeps making a reappearance at my dinner table.

Final Thoughts

This is why I say that service is not easy. Acts of service are not simple. They are often times hard to accept, and sometimes service is forced upon us, or we are pressured into service, or are even loath to perform the service.

To read more of Kelly Merrill’s articles, click here.

Sometimes the people being served really need the help, and they want the help, but their circumstances, personality, or whatever it may be, won’t let them be kind about accepting the help. I have known of people who came out and yelled at and accused the people of performing service of all kinds of atrocities. They still performed the service, and eventually the person was grateful, but there was never a kind word uttered for the service rendered.

Yes, service is vital in the kingdom. It changes our lives and creates people who walk, act, and think more like Christ and our Father in Heaven. But that doesn’t mean it is a simple thing to do. In the next part of the series I will look at the principles behind service, and why it is so important.

Kelly P. Merrill

Kelly Merrill is semi retired and writes for https://gospelstudy.us. He lives with his wife in Idaho. His strength is being able to take difficult to understand subjects and break them down into understandable parts. He delights in writing about the gospel of Christ. Writing about the gospel is his personal missionary work to the members of the Church and to those of other faiths who are wanting to know more about Christ’s gospel and His Church.

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The first Gospel Doctrine Sunday School lesson for this year has as its purpose to ‘help the members find their place in this last dispensation’. This article was born from that directive.

Recognizing our place

How do you convince an only child they are not spoiled? How do you teach a rich kid how to appreciate his parent’s wealth and his personal privilege? These are the same kinds of problems we, as Latter-day Saints, face. We are both spoiled and incredibly rich. How do we teach ourselves to appreciate not only our privilege, but the responsibilities that come because of our blessings?

Adam and Eve and their children.

Look back through your scriptures and look at the people the prophets led. In the beginning we had a line of great patriarchs that lasted down to the time of Moses. When we think of these times we think pretty much only about the prophets and their immediate families. Sure, the prophets had the priesthood. They had revelations and the gift of the Holy Ghost, but what about everyone else in their families and among their friends? We don’t know who had these blessings.

Anyone could pray and exercise faith, but revelations come through the power of the Holy Ghost, and only the prophets had the right to receive revelations for the church. The Holy Ghost is a function of the Melchizedek priesthood. What few people on the earth who were governed by a prophet held no priesthood at all?  And there was a time when those that had priesthood authority were holders of the Aaronic priesthood only. This means that for most of human history very few had access at all to any kind of temple ordinances.

Personal revelation was a rarity, because again, revelation is a function of the Holy Ghost. During the time of Moses they had baptism, but I can find no reference to everyone recieving the gift of the Holy Ghost. They only had those gifts available through the Aaronic priesthood. Refer to Doctrine and Covenants 84:18-27 for more details about what priesthood Moses left Israel with when he left. This is an important passage of scripture. In it we learn that we cannot be sanctified without the higher priesthood, which priesthood God took from among the children of Israel because they hardened their hearts against Him.

Our privileges

So what exactly do we have that makes us so special in this last of all dispensations? The list may not be all that long, but what is included means the difference between life and death in magnitude of available blessings and required responsibilities.

1. We have baptism with its complement of the gift of the Holy Ghost. The Israelites might have been baptized, but they did not receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.
   

   Children are baptized at the age of 8.

   It is through the gift of the Holy Ghost that we have the personal guidance of a member of the Godhead to show us the way back home to God. The Holy Ghost augments our conscience to make us more sensitive to right and wrong. He teaches us the mysteries of godliness and helps us understand more fully the doctrines of the gospel of Christ. It is through the gift of the Holy Ghost that we become more Christlike and are sanctified. Exaltation requires the gift of the Holy Ghost.

2. All of us have access to the gifts and power of the Aaronic priesthood, which holds the keys to the administering of angels and repentance. It used to be that only grown men of special lineage were given this priesthood. Now every young boy 12 years of age and up can hold this priesthood. This gives our boys more spiritual power than the greatest rulers on earth.
3. We all have access to the blessings of the Melchizedek priesthood and all of its attendant powers. There is the gift of the Holy Ghost, the temple ordinances, including the sealing power to bind on earth and in heaven, as well as all the spiritual gifts, like prophecy, speaking in tongues, and healing. There is the blessing of being able to be sanctified and become holy so we can see the face of God and live. And this is not just reserved for the prophets. This power is expected to be held worthily by every man in the Church. We should all be receiving personal revelation and improving our relationship with the Lord.
4. We have keys of priesthood power that have been held in reserve since the early dispensations of the world. They were specifically held to be exercised in their full power in the last dispensation. These include things like the gathering of Israel and the sealing power. Again, these marvelous privileges are available to every man, woman, and child in the Church. To couples sealed in the temple all subsequent children to that union are born under the covenant, which grants them blessings of an eternal nature not available in any other time or place, generally speaking, than in this dispensation.

We don’t know just how many of these blessings were available to the original patriarchs, because the records just don’t tell us anything except that the prophets had the priesthood authority. We do know that they had the sealing power, but we don’t know how widespread its use was among the children of men.

Our responsibilities

Visiting Teachers help and serve.

The long and the short of it is this, we, as common people, not prophets at all, have all the blessings and privileges, and in many cases far more blessings and privileges, than many of the prophets had throughout time. Most prophets had no temples to go to. They had no priesthood quorums or Relief Society sisters to rely on. They had no home or visiting teachers looking in on them to see how they were doing and to encourage them to continue on in faithful living. They had none of what we take for granted and whine about having to do.

When I was a child, being in the presence of a prophet or an apostle was a greater privilege than meeting a movie star. It was something one talked about for years after the fact. Now we see them broadcast into our homes on a regular basis and over social media. We are comfortable and familiar with their sight. How often do we take them for granted now that they have become so “commonplace?”

The Lord has laid on our shoulders many of the responsibilities once held for the prophets’ shoulders alone. We are each going to be held accountable for the missionary work and temple work needed to be done for the salvation of God’s children. As those living daily under the blessings and guiding authority of the Melchizedek priesthood we are expected to be living close to the Holy Ghost and receiving daily inspiration and guidance from the Spirit.

We are to be Saviors on Mt. Zion, helping the Savior in his great work of redeeming all of mankind on both sides of the veil. In exchange for this work we are promised the Spirit to sanctify us and through the Spirit we will come to understand the mysteries of God.

To read more of Kelly Merrill’s articles, click here.

Yes, we have great blessings in this the last dispensation of time. We also have great responsibilities that go with these privileges. As we study the Doctrine and Covenants and the early history of the Church this year, I hope we will remember how great is our blessing and how deep is our obligation for those privileges. We are the living envy of every prophet and people of all previous dispensations of time. May we live up to these blessings.

Kelly P. Merrill

Kelly Merrill is semi retired and writes for https://gospelstudy.us. He lives with his wife in Idaho. His strength is being able to take difficult to understand subjects and break them down into understandable parts. He delights in writing about the gospel of Christ. Writing about the gospel is his personal missionary work to the members of the Church and to those of other faiths who are wanting to know more about Christ’s gospel and His Church.

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God’s point of view

It is important to remember when reading the scriptures that the Lord makes His pronouncements about good and evil people based on a very specific point of view. When the Lord says that a person is good or that a person is evil He is talking about where the end result of current behavior will take that person.

For example, when the Lord promised the Nephites that the land they were on would be the land of their inheritance, and that He would keep and preserve them forever, that promise was based on their choices to choose to follow Him and keep the commandments. When they turned from the right way and embraced evil, though it was still their land of inheritance, they brought upon them the curse that accompanied their original blessing. The curse was to be wiped out and the land given to others. Their posterity would be smitten, and driven almost to extinction before the Lord would remember his promises to them and bless them once again.

Anytime the Lord pronounces someone’s state of wickedness or righteousness it is based on their current choices. He is telling them that their current choices are going to lead to a final judgment of either glory or damnation. The Lord lives in a pretty black and white existence. The choices we make will either lead toward Him or away from Him. He is trying to get us to see life in the same way.

Every choice we make either takes us one more step in our current direction or it leads in the opposite direction. There are no middle paths into eternity. Either we are progressing toward God or we are progressing away from God toward Satan. Our moral agency can take us in these two directions only. There are no alternate choices.

Judge with perfect knowledge

Have you noticed that the Lord either refers to people as wicked or righteous? I don’t recall ever hearing him mention a third category. So how can we tell if we fall under the righteous category? How can we determine that our choices are keeping us headed in the right way? This is what Moroni 7 is all about.

Moroni is quoting from a sermon his father Mormon gave many years before. He referred to the people in the Church who were the “peaceable followers of Christ.” He tells us how we can know that we are doing what we need to do to still be a peaceable follower of Christ.

The outward method to judge our state before God or that of another person, is by their works. Good people do good things. Evil people do evil things. Does that mean an evil person can’t do a good thing? An evil person can imitate goodness, but it will not be counted as righteousness for them because they don’t do it with the proper motives. Here is Moroni 7:6-10.

6 For behold, God hath said a man being evil cannot do that which is good; for if he offereth a gift, or prayeth unto God, except he shall do it with real intent it profiteth him nothing.

 

7 For behold, it is not counted unto him for righteousness.

 

8 For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.

 

9 And likewise also is it counted evil unto a man, if he shall pray and not with real intent of heart; yea, and it profiteth him nothing, for God receiveth none such.

 

10 Wherefore, a man being evil cannot do that which is good; neither will he give a good gift.

Our two choices

The Lord has given us clear directions for being able to choose right or wrong. If the moral choice we make leads in the end to doing good then it comes from Christ. If, in the end, the choice will weaken our devotion or allegiance to Christ then it is from the devil. Moroni 7:12-13 tells us that all good things are “inspired of God.” Anything that does not lead us to believe in Christ and serve him is of the devil or his servants.

12 Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.

 

13 But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God.

Verses 16 and 17 of Moroni 7 teach us that the way to judge between good and evil is so simple that we can judge the difference between them with a perfect knowledge. But we must be careful not to be deceived and call evil good and good evil (Moroni 7:14). If our moral choice will lead us to obedience to God then we can know with a perfect knowledge that it is of God, for the devil and his followers never persuades men to do good. (Now there are a couple of good absolutes you can count on!)

16 For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.

 

17 But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.

Final Thoughts

The world would teach us that morally we live in a constant field of shades of gray, a middle ground between good and evil. The Lord says that is not so. We have the light of Christ. We have a conscience. We have the word of God and the gift of the Holy Ghost. We have, in short, everything we need to be able to judge perfectly between what is morally good and morally evil.

Each time we are presented with a moral choice we have but to look at where that choice will lead in the end, just like God does. Will it lead us closer to God or further away from him. If it weakens our faith, encourages us or makes it easier for us to break commandments then we can know perfectly that it is not of God and to steer clear of it.

To read more of Kelly Merrill’s articles, click here.

Choosing those things that lead us closer to Christ increases our faith and hope in Him. This brings us greater joy, and in turn we do more good in the world. This is how we can tell we are currently acceptable to God.

Personal Note: As we draw closer to the day we celebrate the birth of Christ, I encourage you to seek to do good in whatever way you can. Doing good is how we demonstrate our faith. It is an expression of our hope in Christ. Surely the Lord has placed you in a position where you can do something good for someone around you. If you would like some ideas for service do an Internet search using #LIGHTtheWORLD.

Kelly P. Merrill

Kelly Merrill is semi retired and writes for https://gospelstudy.us. He lives with his wife in Idaho. His strength is being able to take difficult to understand subjects and break them down into understandable parts. He delights in writing about the gospel of Christ. Writing about the gospel is his personal missionary work to the members of the Church and to those of other faiths who are wanting to know more about Christ’s gospel and His Church.

gospelstudy.us

The power of faith

In this world wealth equals power. It is only fitting then that the wealth of the Church would be the faith of its people. Faith is the source of spiritual power. It is what sets the Saints apart from the rest of the world. Whereas anyone can exercise faith, the members of the Lord’s Church have more truth in which to place that faith than any other body of people on earth.

Righteous behavior is the expression of faith. It can be expressed through obedience to a principle, fulfilling a calling, supporting our priesthood leaders, the giving of offerings, serving a stranger, or a hundred other manifestations of faith.

Since faith is a principle of action, and cannot be expressed without action, it becomes the underpinning motivation for all we do. Someone with great faith cannot sit idly by and miss church each week. Great faith cannot ignore those over whom they have been given stewardship, be it HT/VT or through a calling. Faith compels us to move forward and to do something of worth. One simply cannot have faith and do nothing. This is the strength of the Church, in the doings of its people.

When we are encouraged to move the work forward, it is not just through missionary work. We move the work forward with every good thing we do, for all good things come from Christ. The more good we do, the more we glorify God.

It is faith that enables us to move forward, even when times are difficult. It is faith that enables us to move forward with a song in our heart, even when times seem bleak. It is that very faith that gives us hope in a brighter future that moves us forward, even in times of darkness. It is because of our faith that we continue to do good, with the assurance that the Lord is by our side and is keeping watch over us.

Faith and fear cannot exist together, for faith creates within us hope. Hope breeds strength and optimism. Hope urges us forward to do good works because we anticipate good results. This is the nature of faith.

Fear is born of doubt and uncertainty. It requires us to pause and question our abilities, our motives, and the possibility of a useful outcome. This is why fear is the opposite of faith.

Test of our faith

Each of us needs to find the answer to this personal question: “Do I believe the Lord will ever forsake me?” If we can each answer that question with an unqualified “No!” then what is there to stop us from moving forward and accomplishing great things in our lives? With the Lord’s backing and support, with his unending love and strength, is there really anything we cannot achieve in His service?

“With effort we can develop the capacity to subdue those impulses that lead to degrading and evil actions. With faith we can school our appetites.” Faith will not immediately change our disposition to do evil, but with faith we can tame and change our disposition to something of a higher nature. It is through the exercise of our faith, the doing of good as often as we can, that our lives are filled with the strength of character that is needed to overcome our weaknesses.

The Lord has declared in the scriptures that those who believe His word and act on that belief (exercise faith) will receive more of His word. Those who choose not to believe His word will receive less and less until they can no longer believe any of it. How much we have in the end is based completely on how much we are willing to accept. This is a faith-driven process.

There are times when we simply must choose to do what is right and “let the consequence follow.” This is the Church equivalent of saying “let the chips fall where they may.”

In each person’s life there come times when nothing but the eye of faith can get us through a situation. It is that innate belief that despite what it looks like from every other perspective, we still refuse to give up on what we have chosen to believe. It is in these times that we have only our chosen faith to give us the strength to take that next step into a seemingly dark and hopeless future.

This doesn’t sound like a hopeful statement, but each of us will have at least one time in our life when this will happen to us. At some point we will each be taken to what appears to be a ledge of uncertainty and doubt and told that the only path forward is to take a step into the void. It will seem like everything will yell at you that certain destruction awaits you if you take that step into the unknown, yet you will see no other path before you but to do as you are told by the Lord.

Having been to that ledge before, I can tell you that it is a very real place. The fear in that circumstance can be almost tangible. I can also tell you that the strength that flows from exercising our belief in God’s love for us, and our belief that he will never abandon us can give us the courage to do what we formerly thought would be impossible.

This exercise of faith to take that step forward into the unknown creates a well and reserve of strength within us that will carry us forward for years to come. The Lord does in fact increase our capacity to believe and to act on that belief once we have demonstrated our willingness to follow His counsel in our times of extremity and doubt.

When our time in mortality comes to an end, be it a quick departure or a lingering one, all that we have to take with us is our faith. What we have become through what we have chosen to believe and adopt as our standard in this life is all that we can take with us into the next one.

When that moment of departure arrives, what more can we think of to take back to that God that gave us life than the gift of the life we have chosen to live in His name? At that point nothing else will matter. Nothing else will make any difference. Our relationship with our God, and the character that relationship has built within us, is all we can take from this world when we leave it.

Final Thoughts

As we enter the Christmas season and seek to find ways to demonstrate our love for our Savior and our belief in our Father in Heaven, I hope we will consider doing good as a way to respond. When you go and find someone to serve, if you want to post your idea on social media, be sure to use the hashtag #LIGHTtheWORLD, and hopefully include a video or pictures.

To read more of Kelly Merrill’s articles, click here.

Doing good isn’t all about the public acclaim you can achieve, but about what doing good does for you. The Church is hoping to create a wave, a “groundswell” of good deeds going into this Christmas season that will build into a movement of people being genuinely good to other people. I believe this is not only a great goal, but a good way for each of us to express our individual faith in God, whether or not we post the results online.

Kelly P. Merrill

Kelly Merrill is semi retired and writes for https://gospelstudy.us. He lives with his wife in Idaho. His strength is being able to take difficult to understand subjects and break them down into understandable parts. He delights in writing about the gospel of Christ. Writing about the gospel is his personal missionary work to the members of the Church and to those of other faiths who are wanting to know more about Christ’s gospel and His Church.

gospelstudy.us

I have just completed my commentary on the optional 25th lesson from the Relief Society/Priesthood manual on the teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley for the 2017 year. The further along I got in this lesson on Faith, the more I realized that this lesson is awash with the principles that compel the Saints of God to go out and do good in the world. With that spirit in mind, I offer, for free, what I normally sell at mormonbasics.com.

What follows is part of my commentary on this lesson. Every comment is in response to what President Hinckley said in the lesson from one of his sermons or in his writings. Anything in quotes is a quote from the lesson.  Because of size, I will make this a two part series.  This is the first part.  Tomorrow the second part will follow.

I hope you will go to LDS.org and read this lesson then go out and do good as an expression of your faith in Christ. You can find the lesson here:  Chapter 25 

______________

Commentary on Moving Forward with Faith

Nature of Faith

As a demonstration of the pragmatic and practical nature of faith in spiritual things, compare our use of faith in spiritual things to the faith required to get a drink of water. If you had no faith that water would flow from the tap then why would you walk across the room and hold a glass under the tap and turn the handle to make the water flow?

Experience has shown us that if we put our glass under the tap and turn the handle, water will flow. We can’t see the water any more than we can see the blessings that come to us from prayer. Does that make them (the blessings) any less real? No, it does not.

If the Lord can create worlds through the power of faith then we can surely pray for help or blessings and expect with surety that we will receive a response to our pleadings. For some strange reason, people will trust in what they can’t see when they want water or light in their room, but they challenge the creator of the universe by saying He can’t hear His child ask a question.

And they are just as reluctant to acknowledge that He has the ability to answer that question. Just because we don’t see how something is done, it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. That goes for physical things in mortality as well as for spiritual things in mortality.

Note the condition in this sentence – “He will give us help WHEN help is sought.” [emphasis added] We cannot expect the Lord to read our minds and hearts and anticipate what we may or may not want. To do that would be a violation of our moral agency. We are responsible for asking for help. We must seek Him out, not the other way around.

Only when our belief in God as our Father and Christ as our Savior becomes so real to us that we are willing to live our lives based on that belief, can faith become a driving factor in our lives.

Fear vs. Hope

Sometimes we are fearful because we cannot see far ahead. We don’t know what lies even a few decisions before us. But when we are called to do something hard we can always see at least as far as our choice to do or not to do. We may not yet be able to see beyond our choice, but that choice alone will light the path for the next choice.

Think of it in terms of a train going around a sharp bend in the tracks. For a moment the tracks vanish from sight, but faith tells the engineer that they have just approached a corner. Once that corner is rounded through action the rest of the track ahead will come into view, he just needs to move ahead.

To read more of Kelly Merrill’s articles, click here.

Join us tomorrow as we discuss the Power of Faith, Trials of our Faith, and how we can keep reaching forward to spread good to the world.  And remember that when you go and find someone to serve, if you want to post your idea on social media, be sure to use #LIGHTtheWORLD, and hopefully include a video or pictures.

To be continued….

Kelly P. Merrill

Kelly Merrill is semi retired and writes for https://gospelstudy.us. He lives with his wife in Idaho. His strength is being able to take difficult to understand subjects and break them down into understandable parts. He delights in writing about the gospel of Christ. Writing about the gospel is his personal missionary work to the members of the Church and to those of other faiths who are wanting to know more about Christ’s gospel and His Church.

gospelstudy.us

This is a personal observation and musing on the differences between how we see and treat births and deaths in our culture. It is not so much doctrinal as it is a private perspective brought on by a recent funeral.

Background

My daughter married into a new family a few years ago. Recently her husband’s grandmother passed away and they came and stayed with us while attending the funeral. My wife and I went with them. We sat with the grandchildren while she tended to the needs of her husband. All in all it was a very good experience.

While sitting in the chapel before the meeting actually started, I leaned over to my wife and observed that I thought it was interesting that births are very lonely events, while deaths are close to public spectacles in comparison. She suggested I think about it and try writing down my thoughts on the matter. Here goes.

Birth

When a couple has a baby it is a very private affair. Beforehand there are congratulatory remarks, baby showers and preparing for the arrival of the new member of the family. Everyone is happy for the couple as anticipation mounts for the joyous event.

It used to be that one never knew if it was a boy or a girl. You just had to wait until the baby was born to know what you had. Now you find out early on in the pregnancy, and you have several months to prepare for the gender of the baby. There is far less buying of yellow and green clothing, not knowing if it is a girl or a boy. Now everyone just jumps straight into the color category of their new child.

When the family is just beginning to grow there are so many things that need to be acquired. You have to get the mandatory car seat, bassinet, crib, diaper bag, and a thousand other objects. Your whole life is about to change with the addition of this new member of the family. A bedroom has to be devised or set up for the new arrival, and if there are other children already in the family, they have to be prepped and readied as well.

Everyone adjusts to mom’s first trimester sickness, her growing belly, hormonal adjustments, and restrictions in activities as she nears the end of her time carrying her new child. Menus change and household responsibilities are shuffled around to accommodate the needs of Mom. Everyone you know gets notified of the impending birth, and everyone settles in to await the announcement of when the baby is born.

Yet with all the well wishes, parties, planning, and preparation for the new baby, the actual birth is a very private thing. It is just the mom and dad and hospital staff, midwife, or doula. Unless you know you have to schedule a C-section you only know approximately when the baby will be born. Every day is lived in anxious anticipation of the blessed event.

Names are chosen, but not usually assigned until the baby actually is born. Great care goes into choosing the name by which they will be known throughout their mortal life. Everyone has an opinion on an appropriate name, but often the name is not officially chosen until days or weeks after the baby is born and the parents feel like they have found the perfect fit.

Even after the baby is born, people tend to stay away for a while. Mom is recuperating, if people come over it is to drop off some food and leave. Some who are close to the family may come in and do some cleaning or cooking, but they scurry off quickly as well. Mom and Dad need time to get acquainted with their new family member.

Over time the new child becomes part of the fabric of the family. All the milestones are observed and mentioned on social media. Pictures are taken and posted or put into scrapbooks, and eventually, the novelty wears off and the child is absorbed into the group identity of the family. There is a newness of a newborn child. We don’t know what their personality is, how they will react to their environment or our teaching, or even our neglect. Everything about that child still lies in the future.

Death

Death isn’t like birth. A deliberate act sets into motion the eventual birth. You might say that same act also starts the child on the path towards death as well. Death steadily creeps up on a person from the day they are born. Often there are surprises, like accidents or disease that carries someone away before we have a chance to even wrap our heads around the event. I would like to focus on death in old age.

Once we pass our prime we begin to see death off in the distance ever so slowly inching his way towards us. We start to creak and crack where once there was only smooth movement. We become sensitive to foods, temperatures, and weather conditions. Bones start to hurt, and we don’t heal as quickly as we used to. Our sleep patterns get thrown completely off. In short, over time, everything changes.

But what happens to us when it is time for us to leave mortality? Sometimes we have a disease that is contracted and we have either a long time or a short time, but almost always we have some time to prepare for our departure. Sometimes we don’t see death coming. One day we are reasonably well then we get sick and much to everyone’s surprise, we die from some odd complication. Some are lucky enough to last into their nineties or beyond, while others die decades earlier.

The funeral

Compare the social aspect of a birth with the social aspect of a funeral. Compared to births, funerals are pretty public. But unlike the novelty and celebration that usually surrounds a birth, there is usually great sadness and sorrow surrounding a death. Death brings with it gatherings, just like births, but they are of a different character.

The gatherings we have at someone’s death focus not on the anticipation of what that new life will be like, with all its possibilities, but around a review of what was accomplished in the course of our departed loved one’s life. In the funeral we attended with our daughter and son-in-law, the most memorable part was the eulogy, the recap of the grandmother’s life.

Almost nothing was mentioned about her career. I’m not even sure if it was mentioned. But there was story after story about her as a person. It was fascinating to see what was important in their lives. What was important in their lives was remembering what was important in their mother’s life, them!

They recounted numerous stories about her kindness, goodness, courage, her teaching moments, or sacrifices for them, and her love for the gospel of Christ and how she demonstrated her devotion to the Savior and His teachings over and over again during her life. Her former Bishop spoke and all his stories centered around their willingness as a couple to sacrifice for the welfare of others before they looked after their own needs. As a family they served tirelessly to clean the chapel, for example, even before their own home was finished being built. They put their Church service first in their lives.

Her children told of a story about a time when they brought – completely unannounced – a boy up to their mother and told her he didn’t have a place to live, and could they bring him into their home. Her response was immediate and without hesitation, “Welcome home.” She had a big heart.

The funeral was attended by very few members of her ward. That could have been due to a number of reasons, but her family filled the entire center section of the chapel, with some of us sitting on the side benches. As I watched her children interact with those who attended the funeral I noted that there were some similarities in behavior.

After the funeral one of her daughters came up to us and told us that she would be hurt if we didn’t go to the cemetery with them and then to the luncheon afterwards. Another daughter told us how pleased she was that our daughter had married into their family. She hoped that we liked them because we were now part of the family and there was no getting out of it. She spoke in the most loving terms possible. We were greeted by at least half of the grandmother’s surviving children. All of them behaved just as they had spoken so lovingly about their mother.

Births and Deaths

Births are filled with hopeful anticipation. Death is filled with reflection and review. I dare say that this good woman’s day in judgment will be pretty similar to her funeral, filled with expressions of love and devotion to family and God.

There is a tinge of fear in birth. We never know ahead of time if the baby will be born alive or dead, healthy or challenged for life. There are so many unknowns in birth.

Death is the termination of a lifelong effort to become. What we become is either something we are surprised with because we gave it no thought, or we become what we chose to become because we spent our lives in purposeful living, working to eliminate our weaknesses and exercising faith in God to make our weaknesses into strengths. Hopefully, when we say our last farewell in mortality it is as the person we always wanted and hoped we could become.

The physical conditions under which we leave mortality aren’t nearly so important as the condition of our soul is when we leave. Have we sought for forgiveness? Have we worked to live a Christlike life. Did we develop the virtues of godliness that possessing charity demands? Are we leaving behind many whom we have learned to love because we have served them faithfully? Have our priorities in life been the welfare of others?

Final Thoughts

We may have a period of time before we are allowed to leave mortality when we are not at our best physically. Most of us will leave in some degree of diminished capacity. But when we leave mortality we will only be able to take with us the personality we have developed while here. We can’t take with us any physical capabilities, physical objects, no money, no prestige, no social ranking. All we walk through the veil with is who we have become. The rest of what used to make up our life is left for someone else to deal with.

To read more of Kelly Merrill’s articles, click here.

I am left with these questions. What do I want to take with me to the other side of the veil? Will I be able to learn to let go of my love for praise, applause, recognition by those around me, and learn to be content with the pleasing sense of having made my Father in Heaven happy? Will my children and family members remember me as one who lived a virtuous life or will they remember the selfish or neglectful things I did?

It boils down to this. We each choose how we will enter eternity to report on our time in mortality. Whether we were weak and incapacitated for a few years before we go or whether we are taken quickly is immaterial. Our character is all that goes with us into eternity.

Kelly P. Merrill

Kelly Merrill is semi retired and writes for https://gospelstudy.us. He lives with his wife in Idaho. His strength is being able to take difficult to understand subjects and break them down into understandable parts. He delights in writing about the gospel of Christ. Writing about the gospel is his personal missionary work to the members of the Church and to those of other faiths who are wanting to know more about Christ’s gospel and His Church.

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