My last decision was life-changing. It brought me peace during that trial and would continue to do so, but I also know without a doubt that it would set me up for the next trial in my life.

My sweet third baby was born December of 2018. He is my Christmas baby. In 2017, I suffered a miscarriage, so he was my miracle that came a year later. The year I had my miscarriage was a hard one emotionally, as you can imagine. Then I became pregnant again, but this time baby had a healthy, beating heartbeat. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop me from worrying every second of the entire pregnancy.

Then I had him, and he was pure perfection. A healthy, beautiful boy. I always knew childbirth was a miracle, but there is something extra miraculous about bringing a baby to this earth after suffering a loss. Needless to say, we were in heaven with him. He had a little jaundice, which was normal for the time of year he was born, and that was a little stressful — but after a lot of prayer, it resolved on its own, thank goodness! We brought our sweet baby home and he was in our arms in time to spend his first Christmas with us.

Our Baby’s Unexpected Challenges

A few weeks later, I noticed a small bulge while changing his diaper. At first, I didn’t think anything of it, but then I saw it again. This time, my baby was screaming and crying as if he were in pain. The next day, we rushed him to his pediatrician. After an ultrasound and some scans, the doctor concluded my baby had an inguinal hernia. An inguinal hernia is when part of the intestine protrudes through a weak spot in the abdominal muscle. Hernias tend to be common among babies, and umbilical hernias are known to usually go away on their own. Inguinal hernias, however, need to be operated on right away.

With an umbilical hernia, doctors wait up until a year to see if it heals on its own. If it doesn’t, it is operated on. There’s a couple reasons for waiting a year, but one of them is due to the risks of the anesthesia on a baby so small. For an inguinal hernia, there are more risks. It is not something that is usually healed on its own, and if not operated on immediately, those risks are higher than the risks of the anesthesia — so waiting for baby to turn a year would be extremely risky and is not advised.

Upon hearing this, I felt sick to my stomach. I worried so much about something happening to my baby for the nine months of my pregnancy, and just when I thought we were in the clear, this happened. Our doctor referred us to a pediatric surgeon, but was very concerned with putting such a young baby under anesthesia. The effects could be brain development issues or the baby not waking up.

We made the two-hour drive to see the surgeon, and the whole time, we were so nervous. To the surgeon, it was a very routine surgery. I’m sure he could do it in his sleep. But to us, it was our baby — our newborn baby — and it was anything but routine. We met with the surgeon who unfortunately treated us like a revolving door. It was so disheartening for me as a mom (and for my husband as a father).

Here we were, supposed to put our new baby’s life in the hands of someone who did this type of surgery every day but showed no compassion or sympathy for the scared parents that we were. Throughout all this, we had prayed to know what to do, but never felt a resounding yes or no. We knew the facts, the risks, and the numbers — but if you know anything about me, I don’t go on facts. I go on feeling. And I was getting not a one. Only worry and fear. So much fear.

Not knowing any better (and putting trust in the doctors), we scheduled the surgery and went back to our pediatrician to tell him everything the surgeon told us. The love and compassion he showed us as we were talking with him will never be forgotten. We asked him if it was his child, what would he do? It was a hard decision for so many reasons. The hernia would come and go. Sometimes we would see a bulge and other times we wouldn’t. Other than that one night he was crying and screaming, he hadn’t shown any signs of discomfort again. But if we waited and he did have another crying episode, it could be detrimental. If he was always in pain and crying, it was a no brainer: we would get the surgery. But because he wasn’t, it lead us to believe maybe there was a chance it would heal. We asked our doctor what those chances were and he replied “Anything’s possible,” but it wasn’t likely. The surgeon said it was impossible. We were so confused.

Putting Him in God’s Hands

Not knowing who to trust or whose hands to put our baby in, I decided I would not put him in the surgeon’s hands — I would put my baby boy into God’s hands. My husband and I took both the surgeon and our doctor’s opinions to heart, researched the risks of the hernia and of anesthesia, and interviewed different surgeons. We studied and did all we could on our part. Then, very reluctantly, I prayed, “Okay, God, he’s all yours. In two days is his surgery. If he is not meant to have it, please let us know by a scheduling conflict or through his health.” The surgeon told us if our baby had even the slightest cough or hint of fever, they could not perform the surgery. I know I was asking a lot from God. Our baby was perfectly healthy (other than this pesky hernia), but I wanted a very clear answer, so I asked for a very clear sign. I needed it.

At about 2 a.m., I woke up. My baby was fussing. I went to pick him up and when I touched his face to mine, he was burning up. I woke up my husband and he too felt that our son was extremely warm. Fumbling through our medicine cabinet, we found our thermometer: our baby boy had a fever of 101°. I cried and cried, but they were tears of happiness. I felt such a sense of peace, and because of my previous trial, I knew exactly what that felt like for me. This fever was a gift from heaven, an answer to a mother’s desperate plea.

The next morning, we took him to the doctor and found that he had an ear infection and would need an antibiotic. The funny thing is that by the time we got home from our visit, his fever was completely gone. It was as if our baby had the fever long enough for us to see there was a cause for concern, but then once we knew he was sick (and received our answer), he was all better. I called the surgeon immediately and we cancelled the appointment.

Since that day, my sweet angel has never had the bulge again. Not once. He has been happy, healthy, and the hernia has never shown itself again. Modern-day miracle? Maybe. But I like to think it was from letting go and giving him to God. I had put my trust in Him before, but never like this — and at such a big expense. Through this experience, I learned faith is bigger than fear. God is a God of miracles, and if we do all we can and give God our faith in Him, He will take care of the rest.

To read more of Krystal’s articles, click here.

We are not totally in the clear yet. Although baby boy has never complained again (and we have never seen the bulge again), we decided to wait for the year and go from there. I can’t say anything official yet, but I distinctly remember thinking to myself after the doctor telling us anything was possible, I believe. And I still do. Once our baby turns one, we plan to get him another ultrasound and see what happened to the hernia. At that point, if it’s still there, he is in the clear to get the surgery. The risks will have gone down significantly and he should be fine. If it’s not there? Well, we already know.

The decision to let go was not easy. It never is no matter what it is we’re letting go. But when we give it to God, that’s when we truly see His hand. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be humbled, and admit we can’t do it all on our own, is when He truly shows up for us. You know that famous quote, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle?” It’s not true. He does give us more than we can handle, because we aren’t meant to on our own. We are meant to give it to Him. To lean on Him. That is why He is there, that is why our Savior died. It’s just up to us to know that and to let go and give it to God.

Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website,
Latter-day Mom!

Following passions is not a bad thing, but I was torn in my decision to pursue it or focus on my motherhood. It’s a balance (and battle!) I admittedly am still fighting today. However, at the time, it was bringing me lots of confusion because confession: I am an all-or-nothing kinda gal. When I do something, I either give it my 100% or I don’t. Simple as that. So while I did have the thought of doing both (pursuing this opportunity and focusing on motherhood), the thought of giving it 50% was just not in the cards. What is that scripture—”You cannot serve God and mammon?” Yeah, I felt a little something like that. So here I was, faced with two decisions I couldn’t choose between. I was so torn.

One day while driving home, stuck in my confusion, I had a thought to reach out to someone in my ward. I didn’t know her that well so I thought that was a little odd. What would she think? I had just moved into the ward; I couldn’t show my crazy yet! But the feeling was undeniable. I messaged her and asked if we could talk. She happened to have that morning to talk and I had some free time because both of my kids were in school… (Don’t you love it when that happens?) So she came over and I let out the tears and the frustrations. She was so loving and so kind. She held my hand while I cried. We talked about the many options I had, but as we talked through each one, none of them felt right. Then she said the magic words that would change my life:

“Krystal, I can’t decide for you, but if it doesn’t bring you peace, it isn’t for you.”

Wow. Something so simple and so profound. And so much truth! As she left, I pondered over what that meant for me and in my life. With that revelation, it was easy to make my decision. I chose to focus on my motherhood. That’s not to say pursuing a passion is wrong by any means. I just needed to know if it was the right thing for me and for our family. I ultimately was faced with the question of pursuing something that would bring me temporary happiness and instant gratification, or something that would have many days of frustration and tears, but be eternally rewarding. It was a no-brainer, and since I made the decision to walk away, I have not regretted it one bit.

The opportunity came and went, and I was still standing, still alive, and guess what? It opened a whole new door for me, an even better one. Since I didn’t have this opportunity taking up my time, I turned to filling my time with my kids, my family, and my home, and it was how creating a Holy Home was born. Learning to recognize what peace was, and Who it came from, led me to what now is my true calling.

My friend taught me something else that day that helped me then and helps me today. Satan can mimic a lot of emotions. I think that’s why sometimes it’s so confusing for us to know when we get a “good thought” in our minds who it’s coming from. Satan can cause things to look enticing, attractive, and good. Don’t get me wrong; there is a lot of good out there, but we have to know what is best — and in my experience, if we want to know what is best, we need to know if it brings us peace, because that is the one emotion Satan can’t mimic. Peace only comes from Jesus Christ. In 1 Corinthians 14:33, we read: “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace…”

To read more of Krystal’s articles, click here.

I am so grateful for this decision and the lessons I learned. The day I found and understood peace, not only did I avoid something that wasn’t right for me, but I came to know my Savior more. I learned only He can bring us peace. I learned to listen to Him and His voice, and because of that, I learned He had something much better in store for me. It truly was life-changing for me. It changed the course of my thinking. I now use this principle for a lot of my decisions. Months later, I would be faced with a much larger decision… A life-or-death decision. But because I learned this as a way God communicates with me, I would be able to use it in making the next major decision I would have to make.

If you are struggling with a choice, I invite you to ask yourself if it brings you peace — peace to yourself, peace to your family, peace to your soul. And ask yourself what peace looks like to YOU. Your feeling and vision of peace may not be the same as mine, so in addition to asking, find out what it looks like for you. One of my favorite songs is “Peace in Christ.” My favorite lyrics say:

He give us hope
When hope is gone
He give us strength
When we can’t go on
He give us shelter
In the storms of life
When there’s no peace in earth
There is peace in Christ

Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website,
Latter-day Mom!

My second greatest decision started in 2011 — but it took me years later to accept it.

In 2011 I became a mother to a sweet baby girl. I was so happy to be a mom. It was something I always wanted for myself. As she grew, I learned how to change diapers, perfect routines, and hide veggies in muffins and pancakes. I excitedly taught my girl how to walk, talk, and play. What I didn’t expect in between those fun moments was how demanding being a mother would be. It really takes so much out of you emotionally, physically, and mentally. I grew a whole new appreciation for my mom and her sacrifices.

I then had my second baby, a boy. He was the sweetest little guy, but he had his challenges, and I had some too. I no longer had “me” time. Showers were few and far between. Any kind of privacy, for that matter, was out the door. Sure, it was cute when my kids began to talk — only once they discovered the word “Mom,” it was “Mom! Mom! Mom!” all day long.

As I cared for my kids, I became lost in my identity. Consumed by changing diapers and listening to Frozen for the umpteenth time, I was in full-on kid mode. I became lost in my motherhood. It was so bad that I hit rock bottom. I needed a change. I needed to find myself outside of being “just a mom.” I felt lonely, lost, exhausted, and drained. Then I felt guilt for having those feelings. So many women struggle to have children and here I was feeling unfulfilled by this “sacred calling.” I struggled to connect to my kids and to find joy in the work I was doing, until one day I no longer recognized the disheveled woman staring back at me in the mirror.

Looking back now, I can see why I struggled so much. I was battling between my old identity, the Krystal with no care in the world other than work and bills, and my new identity, Krystal the chauffer, maid, and caretaker. It was a battle that would go on for years… Until the day I was presented with a choice.

During those years (and I’m still in them), comparison became the thief of my joy. As an out, I mindlessly scrolled through Facebook, which presented a whole new set of struggles. I saw friend after friend promoting their businesses, hanging out with their girlfriends, and having purpose and identity outside of their motherhood. I was jealous, resentful, and desperate to be a part of their world. I wanted to find that happiness, balance, and purpose. I felt like I needed to do more and be more.

I wanted to be like everyone else so I could be as happy as they seemed. The social pressure to be more was eating me alive. In my mind, I believed there just had to be more to life than cleaning and bum wiping. I decided to pray — and by pray, I mean beg and plead to my Heavenly Father to let me know what else I needed to do. But the only response I received was, “You’re doing it.” Mothering seemed so simple, but so mundane — boring even. Where were my crafty talents or gifts? Unsatisfied by His answer, I asked again. “Just be you,” He replied. But to me, that wasn’t enough.

I kept praying, receiving the same answer every time. Yet I kept ignoring that motherhood was it for me. It was an answer I wasn’t willing to accept. I began writing a book, a dream I’ve always had, and I started to feel better. I felt satisfied to be doing something stimulating with my brain instead of something mind-numbing like reading the same book for the hundredth time. Then my entire world was shattered and I suffered a miscarriage. At the same time, we sold our house and moved into a new one, and we had company from out of town. It was a crazy time.

Consumed by grief, the dreams of a third baby were gone — as well as the dream of me writing my book. I was back to square one of trying to figure out my purpose, but now with this grief hanging over my head accompanied by continuous feelings of failure because now my own body had failed me too.

I was brought to my knees again. I begged, I pleaded, I shouted, I cried. “What am I supposed to be doing?!” “What is my purpose?!” And in all His compassion and tenderness, Heavenly Father answered, “Just be a mom.” This time I was more open to the idea. I had a different perspective having just lost a baby. Being a mom was beginning to look more like the blessing that it was rather than a burden. But again, the comparison from social media and the feeling that being a mom was not enough clouded my judgments. Again I questioned what was wrong with me and why did everyone else have it figured out?

Then out of nowhere, I woke up. Nothing was wrong with me. What is so wrong with being a mom? Who says that isn’t good enough? Who says I have to do more? What or WHO do I have to prove myself to? Absolutely no one.

In that moment, the Spirit confirmed to me that I was exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I should be doing. For the first time, instead of fighting my role as a mother, I finally embraced it. This was my purpose at this moment. Instead of trying to find my purpose outside of motherhood, I chose to find the joy IN motherhood. No longer did I need to battle between two identities — I could choose to accept motherhood as a bigger part of me, a holier part. Being a mother wasn’t about just what I did, but who I was.

I can’t express to you the pure joy that replaced this heavy burden. I no longer felt trapped by this calling! I had finally embraced what my soul always knew to be true but was too stubborn to accept.

My second best decision was the day I chose to embrace my motherhood instead of fight it. I chose to enjoy the good, embrace the bad, and realize that it is all part of a grander design.

Those of you who are living your passion on top of being a mom, hats off to you! You’re amazing and I honor you and your journey.

To read more of Krystal’s articles, click here.

Those of you who, like me, feel like you need to do more or be more — I’m looking at you, mama. You are enough. With an ever-changing world that is transforming at a rapid pace, there will be social pressures. Society will tell you being a mom is not enough. But I’m telling you that it is! I encourage you to ask your Heavenly Father if it is. Ask Him to help you find your joy and your purpose in your motherhood. I promise He will give you answers.

Can women be more than mothers? Of course. I still have my dreams and ambitions. We were sent to earth full of so much purpose and potential to influence the world, and God wants us to fulfill the missions He has planned for us. But my purpose in sharing this experience with you is for you to know you are enough — whatever that may look like.

I leave this final thought with you: Wherever you may be on your personal journey, be courageous. Stand in your truth! Courage has nothing to do with fighting dragons or saving people from falling buildings. Courage is standing in your truth and doing what you feel is right for you. If you don’t know what that is, ask and trust. Trust in His timing. Be in the world, not of it.

I am Krystal and I courageously am and choose to be a mother. And that is enough.

Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website,
Latter-day Mom!

For me, not only have they changed the course of my life, but they have changed me personally. As I reflected on my decisions, my eyes were opened to a common theme: every one of the decisions I made had God’s hand in it one way or another. All those decisions, lessons, and experiences have ultimately led me to where I am now, living my best life. Hmm… Fancy that! It’s funny because some of the decisions weren’t ones I even wanted. However, as I have learned, God’s plan for me is ten times better than my plan for myself—so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that most, if not all, of those decisions were spiritually led.

Over the course of the next few months, I’d like to share with you my five best decisions. I hope by sharing with you my experiences, they can strengthen your testimony. Perhaps it will inspire you to reflect on your best decisions and then maybe you can see how God has had His hand in them—because His hand is always there, no matter how hard your decisions may have been. For it is in the tough, the hard, the I-can’t-do-this-anymore moments when we witness the most tender of mercies. We need only look.

The first of my decisions I’d like to talk about was my decision to move to Utah. It is what set me up for the rest of my life—the backbone, you could say, of all the decisions following. I am very grateful for this experience because without making that major decision, my other ones wouldn’t have been possible.

Quick backstory: I am originally from Houston, TX, but we had relatives in Utah. My parents met in Provo, got hitched, had me (surprise!), and eight months later, moved to Texas. Texas is home. If you are from Texas or know anyone from Texas, then you know we have immense state pride. Since my mom had Utah ties, we visited often, mostly in the summers, and spent them with cousins, aunts and uncles, and breathing in that mountain air which we called the “Utah smell.”

One year, my cousin was getting married in Cache Valley, UT, which, surprisingly, I had not heard of. I made the trip up and on one particular day, we went sightseeing. I was walking along Main Street in a quaint little town when I was suddenly overfilled with the Spirit. I felt like everything around me was spinning. It was so tangible. I remember looking up at the cute shops that lined Main and feeling like I was looking up at skyscrapers. Then the Spirit said to me, “You should move here.” I looked around thinking someone must be playing a trick on me, but no one was around. The message was loud and clear. I returned to Texas, saved money, and searched online for a job and a house. Then, one year later, with nothing but a small suitcase and a little savings, I left everything I had ever known.

I must tell you that this was not as easy as it sounds. During that year of preparing, I had many moments of doubt. I am extremely close to my family and when I envisioned myself grown and married with my own family, I saw myself down the street from my parents. I wanted my kids to be able to run to Grandma’s house, to have Sunday dinners together, and enjoy those hot Texas summers by the pool together. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to move out of state. I wondered every day if leaving was the right decision. I felt trapped between wanting to spread my wings and wanting to stay where my roots were. So I prayed, hoping to receive a confirmation that moving was the right decision. But I never received an answer. No yes or no—nothing. In my true stubborn fashion, I got down on my knees and said, “Fine! If you won’t tell me yes or no, then I am making the decision myself! I am going to Utah and if it’s not right, let something get in the way!” (I do not recommend speaking to God this way, by the way!)

Well, this year marks twelve years that I have lived in Utah—but it didn’t come without its hardships. After I moved, I missed my family something fierce. I had many nights of loneliness. I was in a house full of strangers in a town I had only been to once. But a few months later, I met my husband. I eventually finished school, got married, and had three beautiful babies. To this day, of all the decisions I’ve made my life, this one was by far the best. I am so grateful for it because Utah has given me more than I could dream of. It’s given me a new place to call home (though Texas will always have my heart), it’s given me stability, new roots, a family, independence, and growth. It’s been a place of becoming and unbecoming. But the most important principle and truth I learned was that when you change your questions, you can change your life. Okay, I more demanded than asked, but either way, I asked—and I asked in faith. Instead of asking if A or B was better, I made a decision and then moved into action.

Marcus B. Nash said, “Faith is both a principle of action and of power” (emphasis added).

To read more of Krystal’s articles, click here.

Now, when I need help knowing which decision is right or wrong, I still pray for discernment, but I am much more quick to ask in faith. In active faith. I ask, then I act! Sometimes we hear of these amazing stories where people get clear cut answers to their biggest life’s questions, but God speaks to us all differently. Sometimes it comes in a whisper, sometimes a burning in our hearts, and sometimes we feel like we don’t get answers at all. I’ve had my fair share of those! Nonetheless, if you’re having trouble receiving answers, try changing your question. Don’t just ask and expect the answers to just come—ask, then act.  Put that faith into action. When you do, I can testify that the answers will come. They may not be what we want, but they will come.

I have a testimony that when you change your questions just a tad and practice active faith, you can change your life.

Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website,
Latter-day Mom!

I had my sweet husband who helped immensely, but instead of feeling grateful, I felt guilt. If a neighbor wanted to bring over a meal, I felt guilt AND shame. Two of the WORST emotions to exist, in my opinion! But one day, I woke up and realized that a Holy Home accepts help. A holy woman knows she cannot do everything, and that is ok. We aren’t meant to. Heavenly Father sent us a Savior for help. And while my Savior can help with my feelings and emotions, He physically cannot cook dinner for me, nor pick up the kids from school. That is when, and why, the Lord sends earthly angels to help us.

If we become so worried about what “everyone” will think or let ourselves be consumed by feelings of guilt and stress, not only are we losing out on blessings, but we are preventing others from receiving them as well. When we do not accept help from others, we rob them of the opportunity to act on a prompting and, in turn, we prevent them from serving their God, too. As the scriptures say in Matthew 25:40:

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

If there is one thing I’ve learned as a young mother, it’s that raising a family truly takes a village. I have seen so many miracles, angels, and blessings come into my life as I let go of my worldly stubbornness and allow more love, service, and holiness into my home and family. I have also seen them as I have served others. I have developed compassion, connection, charity, and love—all things I would not have gained without letting go and letting God.

I am currently experiencing my first rodeo of taking care of three children (including a newborn) while being under the weather. It is not an easy task! But when a neighbor offered to bring a meal, I accepted—and I did so gratefully and graciously, knowing that God is watching over me and that His hand is in everything. When I accept that help and allow others to serve, I bring that spirit of holiness into my home. When I serve in return, it radiates to the ones I serve as well—it becomes a pay-it-forward kind of thing.

I’d like to give a shout-out to all those who reach out and choose to serve our family. Thank you for your kindness, love, and compassion. Thank you for being a servant unto the Lord. Your efforts do not go unnoticed! Thank you for teaching me what it means to accept and give help, and for the relationships we have built because of your kindness and service.

May we all strive to learn how to serve in holy ways. May we learn to receive it, accept it, and radiate it.

Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website,
Latter-day Mom!

And that doesn’t even include the guilty feelings of a working mom who has to leave her child every day with a caregiver. I’m not a working mom, but a friend told me there’s a whole other set of guilty feelings that (so far) I have not had to endure. One could easily say that as a parent, you can spend hours wallowing in guilt and self-pity. Then on top of that, we have our friends and family to tend to! We give so much of ourselves! Many of us are not just mothers, we are wives, sisters, daughters, and aunts. Some of us have callings in the church, or are active in our children’s schools.

As women, mothers, and wives, we fill a lot of people’s needs and we sacrifice a lot — and we do so selflessly. I don’t know about you, but there are so many times I feel stretched to my limit! I never knew how much you had to sacrifice until I had children. I will say it’s been my biggest challenge, though—learning just how much I have to sacrifice. I love my family  and I can’t imagine doing anything else, but it does require more energy than I can handle some days. When I was younger and I was involved in a sport that became too much or I didn’t enjoy anymore, I had the option to quit if I wanted to. If something was hard, I could take a break, and come back and try again. With motherhood, there are no “I quits,” and it’s not something you just walk away from. We are needed every minute of every hour of every day.

As I thought about this, I came to realize that often, I don’t meet the needs of the one person who needs me most: me. You might think that sounds selfish and guess what? I agree. I am Krystal and I am going to learn to be a selfish mom!

Okay, so let me explain. I have spent the last three years feeling guilty for wanting to get away or have “me time.” I told myself I must be the most selfish mom for wanting a weekend alone with no kids or husband. Because of this, it is not very often I take the time to do something for me. I have spent many moments crying at how, since becoming a mother, I don’t know who I am without it… Feeling like I lost my identity; that all I am good for is cooking and cleaning. Well, not anymore. From now on, I am going to be a little more selfish without feeling guilty about it! (Well, I’ll try not to, anyway.) Why? Because we moms need to be a little more… Well, us.

We spend a lot of time giving everything to everyone, but neglecting ourselves. Some may say that comes with the job, and I get that, but it doesn’t have to be completely true. I talked to my mom about this and she told me, “We spend all of our time taking care of everyone else, but at the end of the day, who is taking care of us?” We need to take care of ourselves, that’s who! We need to take some time for ourselves—time to meditate, pray, get a manicure, go out with the girls, or whatever, and not feel guilty about it.

I have been trying to get through motherhood thinking I don’t “need” the time, but I finally broke down to my husband. I told him I wish I was one of those moms that doesn’t need “me time,” but I’m not—and honestly, despite how they might seem, they’re probably not, either! I need time for myself, and I need it desperately—and I’ve decided that’s okay. I have noticed when I have not done anything for myself, I become more irritated. I yell more and love less. I am learning that if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! If I can’t remember what it is to love myself and who I am, how can I love my children and love my role as a mother, a wife, and all the other roles we play?

So ladies, it’s time to get to know you again. Take away the labels of mother, wife, etc, and rediscover who (insert your name) is. What talents do you have? Do you have hobbies you used to enjoy, but don’t have time for anymore? Is there something new you want to learn? Do you have a friend you keep telling you’ll meet up with for lunch but haven’t? Now is the time to do and learn those things!

Let your husband or a family member take the kids for an hour here or there and do something you really love. Make the time for you and only you. Sometimes leaving the kids is not always an option. I live with no family nearby, and friends and neighbors who are usually busy, so trust me, I know. In that case, after the kids are in bed, watch that guilty pleasure show or read that book you’ve been meaning to get to. The dishes and house can wait. I love that quote about how our kids are only small for a little while, so we need to spend time with them and leave the housework for later—but I think that applies to us, too. The dishes can wait for you and they should!

I know it’s not easy to ask for help. I was venting about being stretched to the limit to my sister-in-law the other day, and she said to me, “You have so many people, me included, that would bend over backwards for you.” That really touched me because I forgot that I do have a team behind me. I live away from my family—states away—and I am so used to being alone. I have been so used to “doing it all” that I forgot that I do have a support system behind me. If we are not asking for help, maybe it’s not because we don’t have it. Maybe it’s because we are not willing to ask it of the people who are there for us. We only need to use them more.

When I have thoughts of guilt for leaving my family or “choosing myself” over them, I am learning it’s not a matter of making a choice or deciding who is more important—it’s, “What am I doing to better myself and my entire family?” As mothers, we are the heart of the home. The human heart is the strongest muscle in the human body. It’s what gives life, what holds everything together. If the heart isn’t taken care of, slowly the rest of the body will deteriorate. So be a little selfish and do those things you want to do. After all you do, you definitely deserve it!

This week, I challenge you to find one day and pick something you want to do! Make time for it and do it! Then let me know how it went in the comments! I’d love to hear and learn from you.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes by President Gordon B. Hinkley, a former prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He said,

“Polish and refine whatever talents the Lord has given you. Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great and strong purpose in your heart. Love life and look for its opportunities….” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “How Can I Become the Woman of Whom I Dream?” New Era, November 2001)

This article was originally published on April 23, 2014. Minor changes have been made.

Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website,
Latter-day Mom!

Now, if you know me I love holidays. The next month can’t come soon enough for me to put up my decorations! I decorate for St Patrick’s day when I’m not even Irish!! I just love the new feeling and cheeriness it brings to my home. When you think of Easter decor you might think of bunnies, and baby chicks, and eggs, and baskets. As I thought about what would go in Baby Girl’s basket this year, I caught myself getting a little excited…maybe too excited!

I told husband we should get her some play food for her kitchen, or ooh! A new princess dress because she is really into dress-up right now. In fact I saw a $25 basket at Wal-mart filled with all the princess accessories!! Crowns, wands, and sparkly shoes!! Or what if we got her a new CD player so she could listen to her books on CD’s or her music in her room! Wait, what?! Did I really just say a CD player?? For Easter??

When I was pulling out my décor for Easter, I pulled out the bunnies and the plastic eggs. I pulled out the baby chicks, and our Easter tree with baskets hanging. I then saw my collection of resurrection eggs. Have you heard of these? They’re awesome! I first learned about them when I was a kid.

My primary teacher taught us the resurrection story using plastic Easter eggs. There were 12 and we had to hunt for them. In each egg was a scripture and a symbol that represented a part of the resurrection story. It was so exciting opening each egg and finding the treasure inside. This lesson has stuck with me for years, and now that I have my own kids I was excited to use it as a lesson in our home.

I then was struck with the real reason we celebrate Easter and it caused me to reflect what I want my daughter to learn from this wonderful spring holiday. Sure I had fun egg hunts, but what stuck with me most all these years was the resurrection eggs my Primary teacher made for our class.  Like Christmas, we can easily forget the “reason for the season”.

While Baby Girl was helping me she started to open the eggs and I explained to her what they were. She was fascinated with them. She loved finding the treasures inside, just like I did. I loved that she was learning about Jesus in a fun way. I use the eggs as décor around the house so amidst the egg hunts and visits to see the Easter bunny we can remember the true meaning of Easter because the resurrection eggs are all around us.

I am not against egg hunts or anything like that. It’s important to do those fun things also. We love dyeing eggs at our house, and I have an embarrassing weakness to Reese’s Peanut butter eggs…but I will try a little harder to make a point to really focus on the Savior and all he did for us.

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I also hope to carry that spirit of Easter all year long. I have such a testimony of the Savior and all he has done for me. He took upon Himself all my sins and suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for me, and then suffered on the cross, and on that glorious morning, he rose from the tomb and conquered death. All the pain he suffered in the garden and on the cross were gone, and we received the gift of Resurrection.

Because Christ resurrected, I know that I will also one day, and that my family who has passed on will, and we will all live again and be reunited. What an amazing gift to have and an amazing thing to celebrate. I am so grateful. Here are 5 simple and fun ideas to remember Christ this Easter:

1.  Resurrection eggs – I already touched on these a little bit but they are great for all ages! As I mentioned, there are 12 eggs, and each egg has a scripture that tells the story with a symbol inside. My favorite is the last egg (#12). The egg is empty which represents the empty tomb.

You can Google resurrection eggs and find several ideas and find what works best for your family! I have mine “hidden” all around the house, but the Monday before Easter, is when we gather together for Family Home Evening, and talk about them. It’s a great way to set the tone for the week for the upcoming holiday.

2.  Jesus Baskets- I read about this idea in an Ensign Magazine a few years ago, where you prepare Easter baskets that are more Christ-centered. For example, a new bible and Book of Mormon, or a CD of spiritual or uplifting music, a picture of Christ or the temple for their bedroom, etc.

3.  Invite a friend or family over for dinner. Christ was the ultimate example of service. What better way to celebrate Him than having someone over who might be alone or not have a place to go and sharing your family traditions and dinner!

4. Plant Easter Lilies. I love lilies and they remind me of the resurrection. I buy a plant every year! They are planted as bulbs, and in the spring time, grow and bloom beautiful white flowers! And the smell is intoxicating! It makes me think of the resurrection because like the lilies, Christ was laid in a tomb, and then came forth on Easter morning.

5. Attend church service. This is a tradition we take part in every year. We love our Easter service. We sing Easter hymns, and learn about Christ and it’s where we can feel closest to Him. It’s the perfect way to end our week, followed by a delicious dinner, of course, and being surrounded by friends and family.

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter, and are able to take a little time in between the yummy ham dinner and Easter egg hunts, and think about why we are celebrating. Happy Easter!

Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website,
Latter-day Mom!

About a month ago, Baby girl got up to get ready for school. We try to pick out her clothes the night before but that doesn’t always happen. This particular morning we had not picked out clothes which usually means we will spend 20 minutes trying to agree on something appropriate. She picked a cute, springy dress but she didn’t want to wear anything underneath it. That made me a bit uncomfortable so in an effort to not let our morning turn sour I gave her two choices. She could wear the dress with her white tights, or not at all. She tried the old “But mom!”…”but but!” and I said again, “You either wear the white tights or you don’t get to wear the dress.”

Grumbling at me, she left and when she came back guess what she chose?? Ready? She was wearing some bright green tights that looked absolutely adorable. I easily could have gotten mad here since it wasn’t one of the choices I gave her, but instead, it became a light bulb moment for me as I personally was trying to find an answer to a prayer. Sometimes when we pray for help on a decision, one choice isn’t better than the other and we can’t go wrong with either one. In that case, pick one and have some faith that it will be OK.  And then sometimes there is a third choice. It is one that if we listen to the sweet promptings of the Holy Ghost, we will discover He just might present us with an even better choice than we had for ourselves -such as the green tights.

When I wanted to move out of state for college, I asked Heavenly Father if it was the right thing to do. Did He give me a yes or no? Nope! So I told…. that’s right!… told God, “OK, if you won’t tell me then I’m telling you I am moving and if it’s wrong, then let me know.” I moved and 8 years later, I am still in the same town I now call home. To this date, it has been the best decision I have ever made. See, sometimes we have to find out for ourselves so we can learn and grow. He wants us to figure it out on our own. Its a 50/50 partnership. Our Heavenly Father teaches us to exercise our faith in Him, by having faith in us.

Last week I had a bit of a rough week. I came down with a cold so I said a quick prayer that my kids would cooperate, and take their naps like they were supposed to so I could lay down and rest, and what happened? They were worse! Lil Brother refused to nap, they were throwing around pillows, and getting into the pantry. Oy! Just when I was about to start crying, an impression came to me that I had prayed for the wrong thing. I needed to pray for strength. Turns out, I was asking for the wrong thing.

Sometimes we are so focused on ourselves and how things affect us that we become selfish instead of selfless. So instead, I prayed for strength that even if it was a bad day I could be well enough to function and take care of the kids. Lil Brother finally took a nap, and woke up happy, and somehow by the grace of my Heavenly Father, I was able to survive the rest of the day. You can’t always change the situation, but you can change your attitude. My dear wise sweet mama likes to remind me,

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” (Wayne Dryer)

We have the choice, friends, to make it or break it. We can have faith, and make the best of our situation, or we can let it break us and live in misery. I love this quote from a conference talk last October.

“Faith in Jesus Christ is a gift from Heaven that comes as we choose to believe and as we seek to hold on to it.” (Elder Neil L. Anderson, Faith is not by Chance, but by Choice, 2005 Oct)

There’s that word again. Choose.  I also liked this quote,

“Faith is not by chance, but by choice.” (Elder Neil L. Anderson, Faith is not by Chance, but by Choice, 2005 Oct)

Yep, choices are everywhere and along with that is opposition. There always is. There has to be balance, and Satan provides us the opposition. But the way of our loving Heavenly Father is very clear.

In D&C 122:7 it says “…all these things shall give thee experience and shall by for thy good.”

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Our trials are there to helps us, to bring us closer to our Heavenly Father, to teach us to love, and to teach us to have faith in what lies ahead. So, this week, wear the green tights. When your kids are driving you bananas,  you can get mad, you can ignore it, or you can choose to ask Heavenly Father to help you love more.

When you promised yourself you would be more patient but feel like you failed yet again, you can hop on your pity pot, you can give up, or pray for strength choose to try harder. It’s hard I totally get it. I have been there.  Heck , I am there!  But we have to keep going forward, because we chose this beautiful crazy life.  And I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website,
Latter-day Mom!

It really makes me feel horrible, like I have no hope of changing who I am in that aspect. The nagging, the yelling—I can’t make it stop! Then there’s that “mommy rage” that comes on every so often. It’s enough to make me feel like I should be admitted into a mental hospital! Please tell me I’m not alone in this. It seems no matter how hard I try, I can’t control myself.

One particular day, Baby Girl was doing something (in hindsight, it was probably nothing) and I yelled. Feeling terrible, I went to my room and closed my door to “cool off” before I made things worse with my sweet girl. A few minutes later, she came in my room, quietly and hesitantly. I looked up and saw her big, brown, nervous eyes looking up at me and she said, “Mommy, I said a prayer to Heavenly Father that you would stop yelling, and He said to tell you that you are not supposed to yell. He doesn’t like it, and you should be making our home like a temple.” Ouch.

When Baby Girl was three, she began to have the dreaded nighttime fears, mostly of “shadows” in her room. Over and over, we showed her what was making those scary shadows, such as a lamp in her room or a bookshelf. We tried to comfort her and let her know there was nothing to be afraid of. But every now and again, no matter what we said, she was still scared. In those moments, we taught her to pray to her Heavenly Father, and that helped her tremendously.

I have talked about prayer before in the past, but this time I want to talk about the other side of prayer: revelation.

A lot of times we talk about how to pray. We emphasize asking God for the things we need.  But the beautiful thing about prayer is it is not one-sided. It is not just us pleading to our Lord for a change, a blessing, or for help. That’s only the beginning. The extraordinary part of prayer is that we have a loving Heavenly Father who not only hears our prayers, but answers them. I am doing better in remembering to say my prayers. It is that listening part of prayer that I am not so good at.

I don’t know about you, but my prayers are usually quick and then it’s on to the next thing. I very rarely sit and listen. How can we expect our prayers to be answered if we don’t take the time to sit and listen? Are we so busy in our lives that we can’t make sufficient time for our Heavenly Father? Saying my prayers should not be treated as something on my spiritual checklist, but as a time for reflection and peace—something that as a mom of two young kids, I don’t get very often. What if I told you I had the answer to getting your answer? What if I told you I found out a secret to always getting an answer to your prayers?

When I was in my Young Women’s calling, one of the teachers mentioned she was talking with a friend one day about her lack of sleep. Her friend suggested that during those quiet, sleepless moments, to use a notebook. One not to share with anyone. On the first page, she said, write “Dear Heavenly Father,” and then write everything you are thinking of, worrying about, and needing. The next morning, write, “Dear (Your Name)” and just let the Spirit talk. Write down whatever comes to your mind, then go back and read both letters. The results are amazing!

During some hard months, I got to a point where I was doubting Heavenly Father was hearing me at all. I felt like I was pleading and praying—almost begging—but I wasn’t seeing any results. I wanted to do better, but hadn’t found the tools to help me do that. I knew prayer would help, but again, I was looking for something concrete and prayer was just not cutting it. It wasn’t until I took that Young Women leader’s challenge. I was up one night unable to sleep due to sickness and worry (about everything from my husband, my children, the past, and the future).

I remembered her lesson and grabbed a notebook and started to write. I poured my heart out. The next morning I woke up, and in quiet solitude I did it again, and I received an answer. At first I wasn’t sure if the letter to myself were my words, or the Spirit’s, but I kept writing anyway. After I went back and read, the words I wrote to myself, were the very answers I needed. What I experienced in doing this was personal revelation and an answer to my prayers.  I know without a doubt it was the Spirit guiding me. I look back now at my letters to myself, and it doesn’t even sound like me or my writing. 

If you are struggling in your prayers, whether it be listening or feeling like you aren’t being heard, try this notebook method. Make time for that quiet reflection, whether it’s in the wee hours of the morning, late at night, in the car, or waiting at the doctor’s office. Then stop and listen to your Heavenly Father. We are so bombarded with noise all day every day. (And if you have children you know this is especially true!) Your Heavenly Father wants to talk to you—you only need to listen.

Going back to Baby Girl, what she experienced was revelation as well—personal and for someone else. That’s one of the amazing things about revelation. It’s not always for you or about you. Sometimes we can receive revelation in answer to someone else’s prayer. However, having this experience coming from my four-year old was something entirely different and unique. I can’t help but think about the scripture that says, “and a little child shall lead them.” She really does lead me to be better.

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She taught me many things from that one statement, but mostly she inspired me to be a better listener—both to her and especially to my Heavenly Father. She understood a concept that so many adults struggle with. She felt scared, so she prayed. After she prayed, she listened. I am grateful to my daughter for reminding me of the principle of personal revelation and what it means to stop and listen.

Let this be a lesson to all of us to not just say our prayers, but really take the time to listen to the Lord. I guarantee we will find those answers we so long to hear. It may not always be the answer we want, but nevertheless He is there and He does listen to us. He stops and listens, and we should too.

Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website,
Latter-day Mom!

The kids had a blast and as a Disney fan myself, it was a trip we all will never forget. I tried to take in every moment I could. The place really is pure magic. One day while walking down the main street I was looking around taking it all in. The stores were lined up with Disney movie window displays, the sun was warm on my face, and I could hear the laughter and excitement of kids and adults alike. I found myself thinking why can’t every day be like going to Disneyland? Then out of the blue, Baby girl says to me “What makes you pretty is you’re a mom”. I asked her again what she said to make sure I heard correctly and she repeated “What makes you pretty is you’re a mom”.

My heart melted, and I was a bit surprised at the timing of her comment. We weren’t talking, just walking along and she just blurted it out with such assurance as if she knew what I was thinking. The happiest place on earth wasn’t Disneyland. It was she who was standing there in front of me. It was she who with one little innocent comment just made me feel like a real princess. My children, my home, and being a mother is my happiest place on earth.

I loved that to my daughter, being a mother is what makes me beautiful to her. If only we could all see ourselves like this and recognize the value and impact we have as mothers to our children. It doesn’t get any better than that does it? Will it always be happy? It can be with the right attitude. Won’t there be struggles and opposition? Yes there will, but we don’t have to become a victim to our struggles. We can face the hard times, embrace them, conquer them and we can know our worth.

Cinderella is a great example of this. She began as a servant to her step-mother and step-sisters, yet if you think about it she never complained. Did she like serving a step mother and step sisters that didn’t thank her or appreciate her? Of course not! But she faced them, she had no other choice. She embraced them, and every day diligently made breakfast and did her chores. Lastly, she conquered them. She sang in one of my favorite Disney songs,

“Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come shining through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing the dream that you wish will come true”.

She conquered her struggles with faith.  That moment in her life was far from a fairy tale, but she had faith that there was something better out there for her because she knew who she was. She not only patiently waited and endured the bad to get to the good, but she also made the best of her situation as well making some mice friends a long the way. We have so much to learn from her! The struggles are inevitable. Even the most beautiful princesses with the best fairy tales have to face some kind of opposition before they reach their happily ever after. Like them, we can have faith. Faith in our Heavenly Father that our rainbow will come shining through. President Monson said,

“ You do not find the happy in life… you make it”  (President Thomas S. Monson, 1977. Faces and Attitudes).

One thing I am learning is we cant sit and wait for good things to happen, or assume it will all work out. We have to work at it. We have to find a way to make our homes the happiest place on earth. So, how can we do this? I contemplated that a lot this past week as we got back to our normal routines. I did not want to leave California. I was dreading going back to all the responsibilities we had left behind.

That Disney magic feeling was gone and I found myself being grumpy, irritated and depressed. I even started to doubt if I was happy with my life, and then I felt ungrateful because I have a great life so why was I feeling this way? I did some reflecting and wrote down things that make me happy. My children, bright colors, flowers, my husband, and the gospel just to name a few, and I implemented these things in my home.

I redecorated the kids bathroom which was so gloomy before and now Disney themed and bursting with bright, fun colors. I bought fresh yellow flowers for my kitchen table, I printed our most recent family picture and updated our picture frames, and I put a picture of Christ as the center of my living room. It has made such a difference and my spirits are lifted every time I walk in my living room and see my picture of Christ, or when I go into the kids bathroom. They are small changes but make a big difference.

While those are all fun improvements, no home can be the happiest place on earth without the spirit in the home. Aside from the physical changes I made, I made some spiritual changes also. I have been working on a morning routine since I started my Conference Challenge in at the end of February. Every morning I say my prayers and pray for the spirit to fill my home, I read my scriptures or an uplifting article or talk, and I come down to make the kids breakfast and turn on my uplifting music.

Those are just some things we can do to invite the spirit in our homes. I have a testimony when the spirit resides in our home, we can live our happily ever after each and every day. I challenge you all this week to find what makes you happy and implement them into your routine, or your décor, or whatever it may be. Embrace your role as a mother. Love it and live it. Make your home the happiest place on earth.

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Going on vacation is fun, but it doesn’t have to end there. My new mantra I have recently adopted is

“My goal is to create a life I don’t need a vacation from” (Rob Hill Sr.)

I loved that! That is so perfect and I hope and wish we all can create a life where every day feels like Disneyland, the happiest place on earth.

Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website,
Latter-day Mom!