Because of some life experiences I had, I didn’t really trust in the eternal nature of families until I asked to be taught by the Holy Ghost. When the Holy Ghost confirmed the truth to me, not only did I feel the doctrine, but I could trust and understand the doctrine. I pray that the Holy Ghost will fill all of us with truth and light to deepen our understanding of the eternal nature of families.

Once upon a time, a righteous, covenant couple completed their mortal probation, fulfilling their Father’s plan. They received a glorious resurrection and became Gods. Eternity is one eternal round and this Father and Mother had spirit children of Their own who wanted to follow in Their footsteps. Our Father presented a plan of salvation to His children—us—and a righteous Son stepped forward willing to give His life to help us return home to God.

Eternal Family Roles By Divine Design

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches:

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

Consider what that means since those roles are eternal. If a mother’s role is to nurture her children, how does our Heavenly Mother do that?

If fathers are responsible for necessities and protection, what is God our Father responsible to provide for us? What are the necessities of life? King Benjamin talked about how Heavenly Father gives us breath. Moses taught how the Lord preserved the people from day to day. How do you see His providence in your life?

How does Father provide protection? Among many ways, He sends angels and answered prayers. But most importantly, He provides us with a Savior who can heal every wound, redeems every repentant sinner, saves us from death and hell, and seals us up unto eternal life.

Our family relationships follow this divine design. As Elder Dieter F. Ucthdorf said, “Forever is composed of nows.”

Not “Ideal” Circumstances

Six years ago this past week, I experienced my most devastating miscarriage. While working as an ordinance worker in the Laie temple, I felt excruciating pain; when I got home, I miscarried the baby. It was a difficult one for me because I was 42, the age when my mom had her last child. In my mind, there was still a chance to have children until I turned 42.

If the whole purpose of life was to create families and eternal units for God’s children, I definitely didn’t understand His path for us. In the Church, we teach about the ideal eternal family that we’re all striving for, but we sometimes miss the part about how to muddle through our usually not ideal situations.

I go to the temple to find answers. The first time I asked Heavenly Father years ago about my purpose outside of being a mother, I was working over a thousand miles away from home. I sat in a corner of the Portland Oregon Temple’s celestial room, desperately seeking revelation.

As I asked, the Holy Ghost told me my purpose in a way I understood. I didn’t necessarily like that answer and I’ve struggled with obediently following that path. But I knew with clarity that I had Heavenly Parents and my Father spoke to me. I felt I could trust Him and that my life had purpose and could have joy always.

So I want to testify of the ideal. I know that we have Heavenly Parents, equal in godliness and authority and capable in all ways to be parents who offer salvation to their children. I know that in our heavenly home, one Brother sought our salvation and another brother sought his own increase.

The Temple Teaches Truths About the Eternal Nature of the Family

The Portland Oregon Temple

I received my most powerful confirmation of these truths in the temple. The temple is the House of God where we can learn of Him and how to become like Him or not. The temple has sanctifying powers like the sacrament. If we worshipfully approach the sacrament with a repentant heart, we can be sanctified. On the other hand, I could come to church and casually take the bread and water and have nothing significant happen to me. The Lord provides an opportunity for sanctification in the temple.

When we recognize and expect that ordinances have power to change us, then we find that we are changed.

Being Endowed with Power

President Russell M. Nelson recently taught that we are endowed with power in the temple. What does that mean?

The scriptures teach that being endowed with power means we can know the truth of all things. That’s eternal truths and temporal truths. It means we can discern the hearts and thoughts of others.

Being endowed with power enables us to experience gifts of the Spirit. We have power to ask and receive. We receive power to renew our bodies and command the elements. We have power to evade enemies and avoid harm. We access the power of life over death, which is to retain your life or lay it down as the Lord’s plan requires.

Being endowed with power means that through the Atonement of Christ, we can overcome the sins and weaknesses inherent in the Fall. We become holy. And our family relationships with people who also choose to be holy become sanctified.

Why wouldn’t Satan oppose a plan that, through Christ, empowers us to exalt ourselves, our spouses, and our families so completely? Every sin and distraction I can think of ultimately attack this family.

We can expect to be attacked by the adversary. We absolutely will be attacked by the adversary. But we need not succumb to those attacks and we certainly shouldn’t cower in fear, for Jesus Christ has promised to fight our battles and carry our burdens.

In the dedicatory prayer of the Kirtland Temple, Joseph Smith entreated the Lord for all who worship in temples.

And we ask thee, Holy Father, that thy servants may go forth from this house armed with thy power, and that thy name may be upon them, and thy glory be round about them, and thine angels have charge over them.

We are armed with His power, His name, His glory, and His angels. In the temple, we learn the significance of taking on us the name of God as members of His eternal family.

Eternal Nature of the Family Continues Despite Death

To read more of Delisa’s articles, click here.

Sometimes circumstances like death force us to face the eternal-ness of the family because we are separated from loved ones now.

In the King Follett discourse, Joseph Smith taught about the eternal nature of God’s family:

These are the first principles of consolation. How consoling to the mourners when they are called to part with a husband, wife, father, mother, child, or dear relative, to know that, although the earthly tabernacle is laid down and dissolved, they shall rise again to dwell in everlasting burnings in immortal glory, not to sorrow, suffer, or die any more, but they shall be heirs of God and joint heirs with Jesus Christ. What is it? To inherit the same power, the same glory and the same exaltation, until you arrive at the station of a god, and ascend the throne of eternal power, the same as those who have gone before.

President Harold B. Lee taught that our eternal families are close to us and influence us.

“Where is the spirit world? Is it away up in the heavens? That isn’t what the scriptures and our brethren explain. They have told us the spirit world is right here round about us, and the only spirits who can live here are those who are assigned to fill their missions here on earth. This is the spirit world.

 

And if our eyes could be opened we could see those who have departed from us–a father, mother, brother, a sister, a child. We could see them, and sometimes when our physical senses are asleep, sometimes our spiritual self–and we have ears, spiritual ears, and spiritual eyes–sometimes they will be very keen and awake, and a departed one may come while we are lying asleep and come into our consciousness. We’ll feel an impression. We’ll wake up. Where does it come from? It comes from the spirits of those whom we are sealed to” (The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, p. 58).

Seen or unseen, all of our family members influence or impact our eternal now. My husband’s dad, who I called Papa James, was the single greatest influence in Anthony’s life. He died 12.5 years ago and we still grieve his physical absence. I will never forget the moment that Anthony, who joined the Church at 24, was baptized by proxy in the temple for Papa James. As Anthony came up out of the water, the Holy Ghost filled him and he cried out that he wasn’t alone anymore.

Because of the eternal nature of the family, we are not alone.

Again, the Eternal Nature of Our Relationship with Our Father

The dedicatory prayer of the Laie Temple asks the Lord to sanctify and consecrate the temple, that His Spirit might dwell in that holy house and rest mightily upon all who shall labor there, that all who come to the grounds of the temple, member of the Church or not, may partake of the spirit of peace.

“We most earnestly pray that this sacred building may be a place … in which Thy Son may see fit to manifest Himself and to instruct Thy servants.”

That promise is for each of us. All of our Father’s promises are available to all of us, even in our unideal circumstances, because we are all part of His eternal family and, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can all become like Him.

Featured Image: The Laie Hawaii Temple

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.

Albuquerque, New Mexico Temple

We called these treats “temple cookies.” They were huge cookies, at least 8 inches in diameter. They weren’t anything special as far as cookies go, except for the size. But I loved how my parents thought of us enough to bring us back something we would enjoy so much. I am sure our love for those treats helped encourage my parents to make more frequent visits. Being a parent now, I see the brilliance of that move.

Temples are peaceful

Have you ever been to a Latter-day Saint temple? It is so quiet. Just walking on the grounds gives me a deep feeling of peace. The lawn, trees, and flowers are beautifully manicured. The grounds are immaculately clean and the building is maintained to such a level that it’s never allowed to get dirty.

There is a visitors’ center where you are welcomed by smiling missionaries. There is usually a spiritual thought of some kind. They answer your questions and let you sit in the quiet peace that permeates everything within the temple grounds. The feeling at the temple always puts the rest of my world into perspective.

I recently had a friend ask me why temples matter. The internet is full of the doctrinal reasons why Latter-day Saint temples exist and why they matter for the salvation of souls. But I want to give you my reasons why it matters to me.

God is There

Oakland, California Temple

The Spirit on the temple grounds is nothing compared to the power of the Spirit of God inside the building. At times, it has taken my breath away! The temple is the house of God, and He literally walks its halls. The love and light, the peace and assurance, the acceptance and joy that fill the temple are a testimony to me that He is there daily. It is a place unlike any other. The veil between heaven and earth is very thin in the temple.

I have often felt the presence of my ancestors and other spiritual beings who have passed on to the next life. The temple takes my fear of death away because it expands my vision of eternity. I know any separation will only be temporary. Such a beautiful promise makes it worth every sacrifice to be worthy to spend time in God’s house. I find strength and comfort in the temple.

My First Visit

When I was six weeks old, I got to take my first visit to the Washington D.C. Temple. My parents got married soon after my mom got baptized, but you must be a member of the Church for a year before receiving your endowment. So when their year anniversary arrived, they went to the temple to be sealed and make their family eternal.

By then, I had joined the party, so I got to be at my parents’ sealing. I obviously don’t remember it, but I do know the feeling of security and love that I feel every time I hear them tell me the story. I love that temples help families be united forever.

Baptismal font in the Draper, UT Temple

The next time I attended the temple, I was 12 years old. I got to go do proxy baptisms for the dead. Sounds creepy, but I promise there are no dead bodies in the temple! I got to stand in for someone who had passed on and be baptized in their place. It was such a cool experience to step into the baptismal font, which is built on the backs of twelve oxen that represent the twelve tribes of Israel.

Temples Are a Place of Service

Knowing I was doing something for someone who had passed on and could no longer do it for themselves was amazing. I felt a connection to those women. (Being a girl, the work I do in the temple is for women. A man would do work only for men.) I love how the temple gives me a chance to serve my ancestors and give them a chance to have ordinances they never got while on earth. The temple is a place of service.

I’ll never forget the day I got to go to the temple to receive my own endowments. I was twenty-one and I thought I knew everything. But as I sat there and heard the words of the endowment ceremony, I realized my understanding of things was tiny! I learned that we are infinitely more important to God than I had ever imagined.

Some religions distance man from deity, feeling that man is unworthy of a close relationship with God. But I learned that we are literally God’s children, that He cares about our success more than we could imagine, that He is working for our good in a way I never understood before. I love the temple because I’ve learned so much there. The temple is a house of learning.

Wedding Day

The day I was sealed to my sweetheart, I felt the power behind God’s love. I remember kneeling across the alter in a sealing room, surrounded by family and friends. The sealer gave us some marital advice, joked with us, and put everyone at ease. Then he began pronouncing blessings on us from God. I felt the power in his words. A warmth and a spirit that was almost tangible seemed to descend on me and my brand new husband. It surrounded us like a dome directly from heaven.

I felt the protection, strength, and support that God was giving us in our new adventure as a family. I am so very grateful that we got married in the temple. I can’t imagine how our marriage would have survived all the challenges we have faced without that protective strength. I wish every marriage could be done in the temple — it really is God’s house and He is there. The temple strengthens families.

The things in the temple are kept sacred, so you won’t find the details of what happens there anywhere else. But the amazing thing, the beautiful thing, is that all the details of the temple ceremonies are already things that are part of the gospel. What I mean is that none of the things in the temple are going to be things you haven’t heard before.

Come See the Temples For Yourself!

The power of God’s Spirit in that holy place opens your mind and brings the pure truth of the gospel to the forefront. It’s amazing in its simplicity and beautiful because it reaffirms God’s love. He hasn’t hidden anything from us. He wants us to be truly happy and to succeed, and He has told us how to do it! And He keeps telling us until one day the light turns on and we truly get it.

To read more of Patty’s articles, click here.

There you have it: the reasons the temple matters to me. The temple is a place of strength and comfort through all life’s trials. It is a place where families are united together forever. The temple is a place of service and a house of learning. The temple strengthens individuals and families. And the temple reaffirms the simple truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Remembering all the wonderful experiences I’ve had with the Spirit in the temple naturally leads me to want to encourage everyone to go there. You won’t regret it. There is nothing like it anywhere else. You get to perform a service for those who have passed on. You get to make a difference in their eternity while learning things that will make a difference in yours.

It is worth every sacrifice you must make to get there. Nothing can bring you as much joy and peace as being worthy to attend the temple and getting to spend regular time in God’s house. I can’t say anything more than that! Go to the temple. You won’t regret it. The peace and beauty will heal and strengthen your soul.

Patty Sampson

Patty thrives on all things creative. You’ll often find her in the garden pretending she is a suburban farmer. She loves meeting new people, and is devoted to her friends and family. In her heart she is a Midwesterner even though life has moved her all over the country. She believes in “blooming where you’re planted” and has found purpose in every place she has been. She has a deep and abiding love for the Savior and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And she loves editing LDS Blogs because it is a constant spiritual uplift. Not many people can say their job builds their witness of the Savior.

Before Adam and Eve ever entered the Garden of Eden, or even before the world was formed, we lived with our Heavenly Parents. Through a process of creation that I don’t quite understand, our spirit/souls were created—with personalities, gender, & especially our divine characteristic of Choice. We lived in Heaven before coming to Earth.

God taught us, His children. We grew—all of us… Billions of souls. We wanted to be like Him, but we could not—yet. His experiences were so beyond the realm of our existence. Yet, like any mortal father, His greatest joy and desire was that we could gain experience and have joy and become like Him.

During the great council in Heaven, Father presented a glorious plan whereby an earth would be prepared. We would come to that earth, clothing our spirits with bodies of flesh & blood, learn of Him, and choose.

Father is perfect, pure & has said that no unclean thing can dwell in His presence. He knew we would often make poor choices and the eternal law of Justice would negate our ability to return to Him, so He prepared the most glorious Way. The Savior Jesus Christ agreed to break the bands of sin and death—to atone for all of our sins, the sins of others to us, as well as our grief, fears, burdens, and sorrows if we would choose to repent of those sins.

Some rejected the plan, objecting to the notion that through choice, we could choose to “fail” to return to God and ultimately desiring His honor for themselves. The book of Revelation records this event as war in heaven where Michael & his angels fought against the dragon, Satan; then, Satan & his angels were cast down to the earth.

The First Married Couple—Adam and Eve

God introduced Adam & Eve into the Garden of Eden—the first married couple on this earth. Father gave two seemingly opposite commandments—one to multiply & replenish the earth and the other to not partake of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

I love how already in the story, the Father obviates the need for His Son—commandments enable us to see God’s standard and the paramount need for a Savior who can reconcile us with God. So, the couple realizes that without a Fall, they cannot keep the first commandment and they partake of the fruit, complete the Fall to mortality’s flesh and blood. Then, Adam and Eve are able to bear children and teach them of the Father’s plan of happiness and the commandments and necessary ordinances to return to Him.

And they also died.

When we die, of course, our body is buried in the earth until the Resurrection, but our immortal spirit goes to the spirit world to await the Savior’s triumphant Second Coming, our resurrection and final judgment. The Savior referred to this place to the thief on the cross.

Peter wrote of a vision where he saw the Savior’s spirit, while His body was in the tomb, going to the Spirit world and preaching to those who had been disobedient. How many people have lived and died without ever hearing the gospel of Jesus Christ!? And yet, God, in His infinite justice & mercy, prepares a way for all to learn of Christ and accept Him and the ordinances necessary for Salvation.

The Savior organized the hosts of the righteous to continue preaching to those who had not heard His gospel. That work still continues.

Jesus Christ’s Atonement—the most important event of our eternity—overcame all of the effects of the Fall and enabled the possibilities of Resurrection and life after this life! The scriptures speak of two types—immortality and eternal life. Immortality means to be saved from the awful grasp of death and hell and receive a resurrected body of flesh and bones. All men and women who have been born in this life will be resurrected because of Christ’s atoning grace.

Eternal life means to be saved from the awful grasp of death and hell, to be resurrected with a glorified body of flesh and bones, and to live eternally in the presence of God.

 Paul specifically taught of varying levels of salvation—one glory Celestial, one glory Terrestrial, one glory Telestial (sun, moon, stars). The scriptures testify that all will recognize Jesus is the Savior, but still not all will accept Him and repent of their sins (telestial). Some will accept Him as their Savior, but not choose to follow the ordinances He commanded (terrestrial).

Some, like Cain & Judas, have had great knowledge of Jesus Christ, but “crucified Him unto themselves & put Him to an open shame.” These become the sons of Perdition forever to dwell in the lake of fire and brimstone. Lucifer & his angels who originally rejected Jesus Christ during the War in Heaven are also in this group of damned souls. They will not be resurrected because they never received a body at all. (Eternal damnation means no salvation in any glory.)

The final group gains eternal life and are those whose faith and works are consistent with the principles and ordinances of the Gospel of Christ. They are valiant in their testimonies of Him (celestial).

New and Everlasting Covenant—A Celestial Covenant

God covenanted with Abraham that if he were righteous, He would establish a new and everlasting covenant with him. This covenant promised Abraham eternal life, priesthood, numberless posterity, and land.

Jacob sealed blessings on the head of his sons before he died. Some of those blessings related to their posterity.

Malachi declared that the hearts of the fathers must be sealed to their children and the hearts of the children sealed to their fathers or the whole world would be cursed and the whole purpose of the earth wasted.

Jesus promised His Apostles that what they sealed on earth would be sealed in heaven. Elijah sealed the heavens from rain. Jeremiah sealed prophecies about the destruction of the house of Israel. There are so many examples of how the sealing power of heaven functions on Earth.

One of the most important ways to participate in sealing is by fulfilling ordinances given by God to man. Ordinances like baptism, the confirmation of the gift of the Holy Ghost, sacrament, washing and anointing, marriage are sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise.

Throughout the ages, consistently and with great promise, these ‘acts’ are mortal acts and they have to be done in the earthly sphere. If righteousness is maintained by works and through faith on the Savior’s grace, the ordinance is sealed on earth. And bound in heaven. And eternal.

So what about those who didn’t hear the “good news” while on Earth? The Savior’s vicarious act of ransoming us teaches us the way we can benefit others—not in the magnitude of ransoming sin, of course—but that the eternal principles to which God adheres is merciful, just, and fair to all of His children.

While teaching about the resurrection, Paul exclaimed, “Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead if the dead rise not at all? Why are they then baptized for the dead?”

The Savior established His Holy House, the temple, as the authorized place for ordinances necessary for salvation to be performed on behalf of those who died without hearing the Gospel.

As genealogies are traced, a mortal person takes the name (one by one) of someone who has died and performs the ordinances for them, or on their behalf. Does this negate the deceased’s free will? Absolutely not! The spirit man or woman can decline the work. But everyone will be given the opportunity to accept or reject the work done for them.

The Savior taught that there will be so much work to do to ensure that every person has the opportunity to accept or reject His word that a Millennium would be necessary after His Second Coming to finish the work—before the resurrection & final judgment.

Once when the Sadducees and Pharisees were arguing about whether there be a resurrection, the Sadducees asked Jesus to which husband a woman who was married to a man who died and then given to each of his brothers would marry in the resurrection. Of course, these men didn’t believe in a resurrection at all anyway, but Jesus provided critical evidence that after the resurrection, these ordinances are not performed. Everything must be done before the resurrection.

Qualifications for Marriage in the Celestial Kingdom

However, marriage is not eternal unless—1) Performed by proper authority/priesthood, 2) Performed in the proper place, 3) the covenant (the couple & God) is upheld with pure fidelity and righteousness. This sealing is only efficacious for those who obtain the celestial kingdom and eternal life.

If one is not sealed in marriage, one cannot enter the highest realm of the celestial kingdom.

In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; And if does not, he cannot obtain it. He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.

So, in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom, families created on this earth continue with husband sealed to wife after the example of our Heavenly Parents.

Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world.

 

Therefore, when they are out of the world they neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those who are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory.

 

For these angels did not abide my law; therefore, they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity; and from henceforth are not gods, but are angels of God forever and ever.

 

And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife, and make a covenant with her for time and for all eternity, if that covenant is not by me or by my word, which is my law, and is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, through him whom I have anointed and appointed unto this power, then it is not valid neither of force when they are out of the world, because they are not joined by me, saith the Lord, neither by my word; when they are out of the world it cannot be received there, because the angels and the gods are appointed there, by whom they cannot pass; they cannot, therefore, inherit my glory; for my house is a house of order, saith the Lord God.

 

And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.

So, What Does Celestial Marriage Mean to Me? Everything!

To read more of Delisa’s articles, click here.

The sole desire of my heart is to be resurrected to eternal life and live with God forever. The majority of my life’s intent has been spent seeking, finding, understanding and applying spiritual truths through the Spirit of God.

I know I am His child. I know He has a plan for His children. Because of that plan, especially because of the grace of Jesus Christ, I act with faith and repent of my sins and strive to magnify the covenants I have made with God.

Marrying Anthony in the temple was, for me, the single most important decision I have ever made—the culminating decision of a lifetime of decisions. But, the journey didn’t end at the temple doors. We believe in an eternity together if we keep our covenants. Because of that possibility, I truly have joy!!!

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.

This is not an announcement. I’m not dying and neither is my husband.  Well, not any more than the average middle-aged couple is.  I believe that we are eternal beings.  

Earth was created as a great venue to teach and test us.  If that is true, then each of these experiences is just a phase we pass through on our way to becoming someone greater.

To be silly for a moment, I imagine after we die there’s a “getting adjusted” phase where we each become adjusted to not being on Earth, adjusting to our new physical form (both pre- and post-resurrection), and we see relatives we haven’t seen in years (that may be fun and not-so-fun). A “catch-up” phase where we each take remedial classes in the areas we never mastered on Earth – my mother would take Physics 101 and I would be taking Patience 101 and Theoretical Math 101 (which I never did gain an appreciation for in college).  

At some point, we would get new assignments/callings, where we each try to usefully contribute to Heaven’s goals and tasks – unlike current Church callings, I’m hoping we get some say in doing what we love and are not always assigned to something where we’re terribly unskilled and overwhelmed.

My husband and I are currently living through the “kid & preteen” phase.  We were in the “baby & toddler” phase for longer than I wanted.  As much as we tried to not leave the baby phase, we finally realized that all the wishing, work, and money does not necessarily make a dream come to pass.  Great peace has come as we have learned a new skill – acceptance.  Every baby item and box that has left our house has brought greater and greater peace.  I love my family, and I am grateful for everything we have been blessed with.

I lived through the college student phase, the full-time Mormon missionary phase, and the graduate student phase.  Those were fun and exciting times, as much as they were challenging.  I love my memories of those times, they make me who I am.  

We had over 3 years together in the “newlyweds without kids” phase.  We still love rattling off stories of bad restaurants, marital misunderstandings, and fun trips we took.  I enjoyed the “baby & toddler” phase much more than I anticipated.  I was tired and overwhelmed, but so many of those moments were indicators of the great personalities that had just entered our home.

Over the holiday break, we also took skateboards and scooters to the skate parks in town six different times over a week and a half.  As we left the skate park the final evening before I headed back to work the next morning, I turned and paused.  

I looked at the early evening sky, my kids in their helmets, and the concrete playground someone had so lovingly designed.  In that moment, I realized I was in a phase I couldn’t have previously imagined.  

To read more of Molly’s articles, click here.

I never imagined myself sitting at a skate park in Southern California during a warm winter taking pictures and video, and being grateful my kids aren’t bigger daredevils.

There are phases and moments to come that will be fun and some will be painful and many will be challenging. High schools, mission calls, colleges, and retirement plans are moving closer to reality. However, each phase is a series of beautiful moments on the road to each of us becoming someone greater than we are now.  Be patient and hopeful and soak in the sunset, this is just a phase.

Molly A. Kerr

Molly is on a life long quest to figure herself out. Born to be and educated as an aerospace engineer she is also blessed to be a wife and a mom of two in the present, previously served as a full-time missionary, is consistently called to teach the youth in her ward, is eagerly though slowly doing home improvement as money and time allow, all while gradually learning how to be herself and find peace and balance somewhere in between.

Despite her attempts to make “the right” decisions in her life, she has learned to deal with some unexpected challenges over the last two decades. Total tornadoes, really. What she has discovered is that her career has taught her a lot about the Gospel and being a better mother, and the Gospel, when applied to challenges at the office, has made her a better professional. She has also learned that it is okay to be herself, and God still loves (and forgives) her for it.

A few weeks ago I asked the question “Have you ever wondered if you would have accepted Jesus Christ’s message had you been living in Jerusalem in those days?”

Regardless of your response then, you are answering that very question every day of your life. We all do. Every choice we make, every decision answers that very question.

Like Nephi of old gives credence to his parents in his opening remarks of the Book of Mormon, I have been blessed beyond my ability to articulate, because I recognized at a young age the important influence of a great father and mother.

Interestingly, my father’s influence depended more on my attitude. It was always there. When it became a great blessing in my life is when I began treasuring it. Now it is among my most priceless gifts.

Gratefully, my 87-year-old mother is still here. She is a rare jewel. I still have much to learn from her.

Let me say upfront that my mother and father are not perfect. They would both be the first to acknowledge that, but perfection is not a pre-requisite for learning. It has a far greater purpose than that. Perfection is the goal not the means-to-an-end.

Forgive the personal example, but perhaps I can use a personal story to illustrate:

I was blessed to get a good job when I was in high school. The company I worked for had the reputation of paying their employees well and providing excellent benefits. I was excited about these prospects but had no idea how important this would be for me. Although I could not drive when I was first hired, I soon considered buying a good, dependable car to help me get to and from work as needed.

As I was discussing this possibility with my father, he listened to my reasoning and responded with something like “I know you want this car, Walter, but you are saving for a mission and college when you return. A car will take effort to maintain and provide an added expense.”

I had thought this through and was prepared with an answer. I explained that I had considered that, and I also acknowledged that if the unthinkable happened, I would have insurance to cover the loss anyhow.

“But what if you don’t?” My dad asked the question everybody was thinking “That could not happen. Of course, I will have insurance. It’s the law.” Well, needless to say, I was in an accident when I did not have insurance, and the car was a total loss.

He never said “I told you so.” To my knowledge, we never discussed it at all. He wasn’t trying to be right. He wasn’t trying to show me how smart he was. He didn’t gloat. My dad wanted me to be successful and suffered with me through hard times.

He believed in me and knew that through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we are able to reach our potential and receive the blessings God has in store for his children.

From these experiences and many others, I learned a lesson then and many times since that I could rely on my father, because he loved me. He revered and followed Jesus Christ. He always tried to emulate the example of the Savior. I would like to say that I recognized and appreciated that as a boy, but more likely I took it for granted until later when I was wiser as a man.

To read more of Walter’s articles, click the picture.

I am still learning from my father. He is my mentor. Now, his words mean more to me than I ever thought possible. Yet it is because I cherished them early on and captured them that I can now benefit from them when needed.

His greatest desire is that we would love and follow the Savior throughout our lives.

Sometimes we read or hear sentiments which we cannot fully appreciate at the time. Their influence in our lives may take time before we really understand them. It happens when we read scriptures or listen to talks. And it happens every day of our lives as we associate with and benefit from our dear parents.

It’s good to learn that lesson early on.

Walter Penning

In 1989, Walter Penning formed a consultancy based in Salt Lake City and empowered his clients by streamlining processes and building a loyal, lifetime customer base with great customer service. His true passion is found in his family. He says the best decision he ever made was to marry his sweetheart and have children. The wonderful family she has given him and her constant love, support, and patience amid life’s challenges is his panacea.

I love the peace and joy that comes to my heart as I sing the songs about the Savior. I have been immersing myself more in those very songs recently, and it made a huge difference in my Easter experience.

This past year, Easter felt much more poignant to me, and that feeling of God’s love permeated the day. I prepared this year like I never have before. I was hosting the big family dinner, and I wanted it to be special. So I pulled out all the stops.

I started preparing a week ahead of time, humming the hymns as I went. I made a sign for a centerpiece that read He is Risen and of course the accompanying hymn ran through my mind every time I saw it. It really is a joyous song! And of course, there had to be candy filled Easter eggs. But this year I found an awesome tutorial on Pinterest to use those eggs to teach young children about the Resurrection. They are called Resurrection Eggs. And my little guy really loved them. It was beautiful to see the light turning on for him.

As I have been reminiscing about this Easter, I’ve been asking myself what made it more special than before. I’m confident the music was part of it. I’ve also had close friends lose children far too young.

One of them posted an image on Facebook that really struck me. It was the Savior hugging a woman with the words “No goodbye will last forever #becauseofhim.” Next to that image she had a picture of her daughter Hailey’s grave. And her caption read “Because of Him my little angel will rise again. Happy Easter everyone!”

I have mourned her crushing loss. And as I read those words of hope the real joy of the Resurrection became clear. We speak of the Savior’s sacrifice in so many ways, but that simple truth has never been the center of my focus before now. What joy fills my heart knowing I will be with everyone I love again.

One of our friends made his transition to the other side of the veil just this last week. He had lived a long life, and he and my husband were close. But knowing their separation (though not nearly as painful as losing a child) is temporary, has helped with my husband’s feeling of loss.

When I was five, my Great-Grandfather died. And in her grief, my Great-Grandmother asked me to stay the night with her so she wouldn’t feel so alone. In my childhood innocence I was convinced that if I stayed with her, I would die too. It was creepy to me that Great Grandpa had died at home, and somehow in my five-year-old mind, that was going to be contagious.

“Because of Him my little angel will rise again. Happy Easter everyone!”

Looking back, I laugh at myself. And I wish I had stayed to help comfort my Great-Grandmother. She was Christian, but didn’t understand the Atonement like my friend on Facebook. And her feeling of loss was much darker because of that missing link to knowing she would see her loving husband again.

Thinking of these two women and the difference in their understanding of the greatest gift the world has ever known is part of why this Easter was more special to me. I think I have spent almost every Easter up until today like my Great-Grandmother.

I was a bit in the dark, just hoping what I had learned at church was true. But somehow my preparation for Easter and the joyous hymns about the Resurrection and God’s love for us opened my mind. Seeing little Hailey’s grave next to the hope-filled message about the Savior sparked in me a joy and a light I have never known.

Easter is a celebration of joy! Previously, every time I thought of Christ’s sacrifice for me it was sad and painful. I shuddered at how He was treated. I felt terrible guilt knowing that part of His suffering was because of me. And I wished He hadn’t had to endure such excruciating pain in the Garden of Gethsemane. But now I know better- his suffering was a gift.

To read more of Patty’s articles, click here.

Jesus Christ loved us so much that He gave us a chance to live again, to be with God again. Before His sacrifice we were doomed to live away from God because we couldn’t become worthy to go back. But He bridged the gap and did for us what no other ever could. And he did so willingly. Truly, His was a gift of Love. For where God is, there Love is also.

I am so grateful for my Savior. For His willingness to come and live a pure life so we would know what one looked like. His example changed the world….and it changed me.

Patty Sampson

Patty thrives on all things creative. You’ll often find her in the garden pretending she is a suburban farmer. She loves meeting new people, and is devoted to her friends and family. In her heart she is a Midwesterner even though life has moved her all over the country. She believes in “blooming where you’re planted” and has found purpose in every place she has been. She has a deep and abiding love for the Savior and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And she loves editing LDS Blogs because it is a constant spiritual uplift. Not many people can say their job builds their witness of the Savior.

We struggled selecting each of you children’s names. How could we not? Having all of you and raising a family was the most significant undertaking of our lives. But the amazement doesn’t stop there. I knew rearing family would be my premiere commission in life, because it involves everything I hold dear both in this world and the realm to come.

Hence you wouldn’t think it so surprising to find our happiness comes from helping those we love most. But then it makes sense. I honestly never realized that I would glean this much joy from my family, my wife, and my children. They don’t even know it. I tell them often, but it’s never enough. I remember my mother explaining to me that I would not understand how much I was loved until I became a parent myself.

I didn’t know then that she was spot on. Through my life I have learned that being true to the things I was taught as a child has brought me tremendous joy in this life, and I know it will be magnified in the eternal worlds. And like with all good things, we must be patient and receive them in due time. Immediate gratification is not joy.

Nephi and Lehi devoted themselves to God’s work, and their parents considered carefully when choosing their names, which invited these young men to pattern their lives after their forebears. Their father Helaman counseled them that when they remembered their names, they will also remember the works and the good things their namesakes have done. Well.

Let’s not miss the point here; when we selected your names, we carefully considered people who we revered and admired, because we wanted you to follow their examples and be that kind of people! So with that in mind, we are blown away because each one of you have excelled in so many ways we are truly honored to be your parents.

I think when we were in heaven organizing our family, somehow your mother and I were appointed to be your parents, and you all promised that you would help us make it work. I must have been terribly worried, but you were right. You all helped, and it is working out now wonderfully. In my mind’s eye, Emily was right there comforting and encouraging us and promising to stick with us to the end.

And on this very happy occasion when our precious little baby is turning 17-years-old and sticking with us through the thick and thin, she is keeping that promise. Remember the Source of your good fortune and all your blessings. We remember ours of which you are a significant part. Doctrine and Covenants 82:3

Happy Birthday Sweetheart. We are so lucky to have you in our family.

In Helaman 5:6 we read: Behold, my sons, I desire that ye should remember to keep the commandments of God; and I would that ye should declare unto the people these words. Behold, I have given unto you the names of our first parents who came out of the land of Jerusalem; and this I have done that when you remember your names ye may remember them; and when ye remember them ye may remember their works; and when ye remember their works ye may know how that it is said, and also written, that they were good.

Joy and Spiritual Survival

Listen to all of these songs. Somehow they express the sentiments of my heart today.

We will choose Him again

Before we came here, we all lived in heaven
with Heavenly Father and Jesus, His Son.
It’s where they taught us to choose good from evil
to be prepared for the battle to come.
For Satan tried to destroy us forever;
To make us turn from the things we were taught.
But nothing could keep us from choosing Jesus,
for we loved the plan of God.

To read more of Walter’s articles, click the picture.

And we will choose Him again.
For He’s our Savior and friend.
He’ll help and guide us each day,
And He will show us the way
To be the best us we possibly can.
Oh we will choose Him.
We will choose Him again.

And now we’re on earth to prove we’ll be faithful,
Keep his commandments and follow His ways.
For we’re still fighting for good over evil,
Not with a sword, but with courage and faith.
And we will rise up and stand with our Savior
Forever true to the things we’ve been taught.
And nothing can keep us from choosing Jesus,
for we love the plan of God.

And we will choose Him again.
For He’s our Savior and friend.
He’ll help and guide us each day,
And He will show us the way
To be the best us we possibly can.
Oh we will choose Him.
We will choose Him again.

###

Walter Penning

In 1989, Walter Penning formed a consultancy based in Salt Lake City and empowered his clients by streamlining processes and building a loyal, lifetime customer base with great customer service. His true passion is found in his family. He says the best decision he ever made was to marry his sweetheart and have children. The wonderful family she has given him and her constant love, support, and patience amid life’s challenges is his panacea.

A number of years ago, I went to a general priesthood meeting with Dad. I have been doing this throughout my life when I have had the good fortune of living in the same general area as he did. This became a sort of tradition for us, as it is for many fathers and sons. What was unique about this particular priesthood meeting didn’t actually happen during the meeting, however, but occurred instead afterward as we walked from the chapel to our car. These are his words as I remember them:

“Walter, I have always wanted to teach that it is our ancestors and loved ones on the other side of the veil who are our guardian angels, but I didn’t openly promote it because I never heard the brethren comment on that as such—until tonight.

“Elder Eyring’s talk this evening was beautiful. Now I feel that I have justification to teach that very principle.”

Today is Dad’s birthday. It’s been eight long years since his passing. Of course, I miss him greatly, but he is by no means forgotten. In fact, he is part of my life now perhaps more than ever because his lack of proximity and ill health are no longer barriers to his involvement in our lives. For example:

• He is part of my newly found job, guidance, and direction
• He inspires me to endure to the end when the going gets rough
• He helps me make good choices and rear a strong family to choose the right
• His stellar example taught me the importance of following Christ
• He is in the successes of my children

Dad always spent time listening, encouraging us, and making us feel important and self-respected.

I never saw him discouraged. My friends would ask “Does your dad always smile?” Yeah. Pretty much always. I asked him once why that was so. He said “When I consider all of my blessings, I can’t help it.”

Missionaries

When my son served a mission to Argentina, he was two thousand miles away. I didn’t visit with him every day and spoke with him rarely—like once-a-year perhaps. But I received correspondence from him and wrote letters in return. Though we were miles apart and did not see one another for an extended period of time, I did not talk about him in the past tense. That would have been ludicrous.

I knew he was doing something important and that activity separated us for a time. Similarly, my dad is on the other side of the veil. He is assuredly serving the Lord in various capacities, I have no doubt. And like I received occasional correspondence from my son, I feel Dad is watching over us, just as he did when he was here on earth. True. We are separated for a time, and I can’t talk with him face-to-face as frequently as I would like, but I feel him in my life.

He still influences me through his personal history, through his many stories, his example, and my memories of him. Yet I know I will see him again soon. This knowledge influences my choices today.  I still can’t talk about him in the past tense any more than I can talk about my missionary son in the past tense. He is a great dad, setting an example I can follow today. He teaches me about the essential role of Jesus Christ and the choice blessings we have in store Because of Him.

To read more of Walter’s articles, click the picture.

My daughter just got back from a humanitarian trip to the Orient. The whole experience was a joy, but I missed her while she was gone and honestly couldn’t wait to see her again. I anticipated her return and shed tears of joy as we embraced when we saw each other again. I expect it’s going to be a lot like that when I am reunited with Dad.

Happy Birthday Dad. I love you.

Questions and Answers

My memoir of Dad

Walter Penning

In 1989, Walter Penning formed a consultancy based in Salt Lake City and empowered his clients by streamlining processes and building a loyal, lifetime customer base with great customer service. His true passion is found in his family. He says the best decision he ever made was to marry his sweetheart and have children. The wonderful family she has given him and her constant love, support, and patience amid life’s challenges is his panacea.

It wasn’t until our last son Elden that I started to really think about why this song has become a staple lullaby at our house. Every night I tell him that I am going to sing him his favorite song, and he gets really excited and asks: “Is it going to be the Paw Patrol song?!” And then he starts to grumble when I break into the familiar refrain, “I am a child of God…”. But, more often than not, by the end, my little blond boy has joined in and is adding his own heartfelt melody.

Inevitably, night after night, after we have sung our duet, he always asks anew: “Mom, why do you always have to sing that song?!”

And of course, I always respond: “Because my dear boy, if there is one thing I want you to know deep within your heart, it is that you really are a child of God.”

GENERAL CONFERENCE 2016

You can probably imagine my surprise then, when, during the last Spring Session of the General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Elder Hallstrom chose this very topic to speak on.

In his talk entitled “I Am a Child of God”, Elder Hallstrom asks us to ponder whether we really know this statement to be true for ourselves. He reminds us that sometimes, even the most important information can sometimes get lost in the background of our lives. But, he firmly states, the understanding that we are indeed children of a loving Heavenly Father is:

“essential to exaltation. It is foundational to comprehending the glorious 

Plan of salvation and to nurturing faith in the Firstborn of the Father, Jesus the Christ, and in His merciful atonement.”

Lately, I have felt the very real burden of teaching my children how to develop a testimony of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for themselves. Just as Elder Hallstrom reminds us, I feel that it is all too easy for this precious knowledge–that we really are sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father–to become background noise.

Just like when I sing this song to my children at bedtime, sometimes the words are filled with wonder, and sometimes–they are sung by rote just to get the darn kids to bed.

So, how do I ingrain this gift of knowledge into the souls of my sons? Many prayers have I uttered in the hopes of gaining some direction, and after listening to this talk, I feel like I have received some direction.

To begin, Elder Hallstrom makes an interesting observation:

“Here on earth, we identify ourselves in many different ways…our place of birth, our nationality, and our language…by their occupation or their hobby. These identities are not wrong unless they supersede or interfere with our eternal identity–that of being a son or daughter of God.”

After reading this particular passage again, it became obvious to me that if I can enable my children to remember their divine heritage, it will be easier for them to make good choices. I thought about the song that we have sung together so many times–”I Am A Child of God.” I thought about my little talk with Elden every night when he asks why we sing that song so often.

And then I wondered if maybe I was stretching things a little too far.

I have come to realize, in my old age, that doubt is a tool of Satan. When we seem to be on the right path to obtaining revelation, he likes to sneak doubt in to disrupt our peace.

So, I turned to the scriptures.

GENERAL CONFERENCE CIRCA. 124 B.C.

And sure enough, in Mosiah Chapter 3:11-12, King Benjamin has this very same discussion with his band of faithful followers, at a very similar set-up to our own General Conference.

“…as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God…and always retain a remembrance, the greatness of God…and his goodness and long-suffering towards you…

Behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God…”

Essentially, King Benjamin is teaching his people that they are spiritual sons and daughters of God. He tells them that if they hold this knowledge within their hearts daily, they too will develop a strong testimony of Heavenly Father.

Along with imparting this knowledge to his followers, King Benjamin also speaks some very powerful words that have become one of my very favorite scriptures:

“Believe in God; believe that He is, and that He created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that He has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth…”

(Mosiah 4:9)

I love the boldness of this verse. These words remind us that it was our very Father in Heaven who is responsible for all things. And if that All Powerful Creator loves us enough to provide us with a Savior to return to Him someday because He wants us to always be with Him, then surely we can use our divine knowledge that we are His children to direct our paths for good.

And that is just what King Benjamin goes on to teach his people. In Mosiah 4:12-16, we find this direction:

• If ye do this ye shall always rejoice

• Be filled with the love of God

• Always retain a remission of your sins

• Grow in the knowledge of that which is just and true

• Ye will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably

• Ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked

• Or transgress the laws of God

• Or fight or quarrel with one another

• But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness

• Ye will teach them to love one another and to serve one another

• Succor those that stand in need of succor

Ah, this is what I have been searching for all along–a guideline for my boys to develop a testimony of God that will help them to choose the right.

IN THE END

And so, the other day, I had a little talk with my sons. I gathered them around me like a hen gathers her chicks and we sang this song together:

I am a child of God,

And He has sent me here,

Has given me an earthly home

With parents kind and dear.

I am a child of God,

And so my needs are great,

Help me to understand His words,

Before it grows too late.

I am a child of God.

Rich blessing are in store;

If I but learn to do His will

I’ll live with Him once more.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,

Help me find the way.

Teach me all that I must do

To live with Him someday.

When we were done, I told them that if they ever felt bad because of what someone said about them, or if they were ever confused about what choice to make, if they sang this song to themselves by the time they were done they would feel God’s love. Feeling God’s love would help them to forgive and forget, or help them choose the right path. Over time, I told them, they would begin to recognize the familiar Spirit that accompanies this knowledge and that this feeling would be the Spirit of God witnessing to them that the words of the song are indeed true–I am a child of God.

To read more of Jessica’s articles, click here.

It is my hope and prayer, as it has been since the very day we welcomed each child into our home, that my boys will one day develop their own strong testimonies of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Plan of Salvation. I know that the words Elder Hallstrom and King Benjamin spoke are true–that this very basic, yet divine, knowledge can bring with it an awesome power–the power to choose the right no matter what the obstacle. That is the foundation of my testimony, and I hope, one day, it will be a firm foundation for my children as well.

Jessica Clark

Jessica Clark is a wife, mom, writer, runner, knitter, and proud Canadian. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in Anthropology, and has been a student of people and cultures ever since. Right now she is busy studying the behavior and cultures of the people of Texas.

At first I was really angry when he left early in the morning on June 16th to catch a plane. I mean, how could he leave me without returning for just one more hug and kiss? As time passed, I found it easier to just immerse myself into the daily routine of summer sun and fun than to worry about missing my husband.

And then, one day, with one week left to go, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I wasn’t angry at my husband for leaving and it wasn’t easier to just forget about him. I needed him. I needed to be needed.  So that got me thinking about relationships and soul mates and stuff.  What is so darn important about a man and woman sharing their life together that we, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, value it so highly?

Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan.
(The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

Is marriage so important because we were put on this earth to find our soul-mate?

THE PHILOSOPHY OF MEN

And what exactly is a soul-mate? That is a phrase that has often been associated with marriage and relationships. Often it refers to the one person we were put on earth to find.  So, in order to fully understand this phrase, I did what I usually do when I want to find something out, I did a little research.

And the results were slightly disheartening.  Five out of five articles that I read relating to soul-mates discussed how a soul-mate was someone that:

• arrived when you were ready for them
• was sent to challenge you
• was there to awaken you so your soul could evolve
• someone who makes you feel complete
• bound by destiny to find them
• if it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be

While all of these things sound really nice at first blush, thinking about them a little bit further starts me to wondering:  If this person is able to do all of these things for me, they must be pretty much perfect. Why would a perfect person want me?  Shouldn’t I be the one challenging myself and awakening my own soul?  If I can’t make myself feel complete and whole, how is someone else supposed to do that for me?   What if I missed my soul-mate because I chose to ride my bike to work instead of take the bus?

And finally:

Just because this relationship has hit a rough patch and doesn’t seem to be working right now, that should be a reason to throw it out and start again?  It wasn’t meant to be?!

One article I read stated that if you haven’t found your soul mate yet, you shouldn’t settle. Keep looking because some relationships are just a phase and aren’t the real thing.  I clicked out of that article feeling a little empty inside. Was it really that easy to throw a relationship aside? Is that what the world thinks of relationships these days?  You are not my soul mate so therefore we are through.

Ideally, yes, every husband and wife would be perfectly attuned to be each other’s soul mate. But that is not the case. None of us are perfect, and therefore, we are all in need of compassion and comfort as we try to figure out who we are.

WHAT AM I MISSING?!

And it was that thought that stuck with me.  Being away from my husband for a month was not that difficult. It was exhausting being in charge of my kids 24 hours a day without a break, but it was doable. My life continued on just as it did in normal husband-at-home circumstances.

What I was really missing was someone who was my SOLE mate.

I began to pay more attention to my kids. It was me they came to when they were scared. Me who kissed their scraped knees and bruised elbows. Me who they wanted to snuggle with them at night, or read to them from a never-ending list of stories.

Me.

Their mom.

Their one mom. Their SOLE mother.

The one person they can count on for anything, anytime, anywhere.

That is what I was missing. My sole mate. The one person who lives for me.

Sure, I enjoyed being with my mom and dad. We have a lot of fun together, and I feel like I can tell them just about anything. But, while they have watched me grow from a child to an adult, they haven’t struggled side by side with me the way my husband has. Yes, they would never give up on me, but they are my parents—they are kind of stuck with me.

My husband however, chose me out of a bajillion other girls. And he promised me that he would never give up on me for the rest of our lives. And even though, if those articles I read this afternoon are any indication, society thinks that relationships can be defined as a phase that we go through at various stages of life, he doesn’t think that.

THE BIG REVEAL

Finding out that I really needed my husband was great. It was like looking at something old anew and seeing it for the treasure it really is. But I still had some more questions rolling around in my head.
Why has my husband become my sole-mate?

We have had our fair share of arguments. We have many times agreed to disagree and then argued about what to disagree on. We have both felt like the other person just didn’t understand us.
So, I went back to the original soul-mates idea. There were two things that did stick out to me.

1. A soul-mate was someone who made your soul evolve.

2. A soul-mate was someone who would challenge you.

And those things turned my mind again to an article previously quoted, and one I hold dear,The Family: A Proclamation to the World.  Published in 1995, this document outlines the reason for marriage and families, the roles of husbands, wives, and children, and the importance of safe-guarding this basic social unit. One of my favorite lines outlines how marriages and families can become strong:

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

My husband and I have worked hard to put these actions into play:

• Studying and living Christ’s example
• We have faith in each other and in the Lord’s guidance and will
• We pray together as a family, as a couple, and alone
• We have repented, and repented, and repented some more
• We work on forgiveness and respect for one another
• We love and have compassion towards one another
• We work together and play together

As we have individually put our souls into moving our relationship from point A to point B, and then to point C, D, and E, we have become solely responsible to one another. The effort we are making for one another is not simply a phase of life, or something that will last just because we had to settle.

CONCLUSION

It is a two and half hour drive from my parents home to the airport, with a border crossing from Canada into the United States to boot. It is a drive I have made a million times. Last Sunday, it seemed like forever. Here I was, only hours left of the long month alone, and I could hardly go the speed limit.

To read more articles by Jessica, click here.

For the first time in my life I knew just how important my husband was to me. He wasn’t important because he was handsome, smart, and funny. He wasn’t important because he helped me with the kids when I was at my wits end. Oh sure, those things are important, and I know that.  But this time I knew, like I had never known before, that the man I was driving towards was my sole mate. And I was his. Because we had put our souls into making our marriage work through every phase we have come to so far.

And we did it—and continue to do it– solely for each other.

Jessica Clark

Jessica Clark is a wife, mom, writer, runner, knitter, and proud Canadian. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in Anthropology, and has been a student of people and cultures ever since. Right now she is busy studying the behavior and cultures of the people of Texas.