1- He won’t look you in the eye when he talks to you.

It is a normal Autism quirk. It’s because he can’t filter the information, or he absorbs more information than most kids. (ie: buzzing of the lights, smell of your soap, sound of your voice, etc.) And looking you in the eye will overwhelm him.

He is listening. Just because he isn’t looking at you doesn’t mean he is being rude. He is trying his best. 

2- He is going to be overwhelmed if your classroom or Primary room is noisy.

A lot of kids on the Spectrum are super sensors. They hear things and smell things stronger than other people. My son also tastes things nobody else can taste. He can tell the difference between brands of Mac and Cheese or brands of bacon. So if you can create a smaller class size, and give him a quieter environment, everyone will be happier.

3- My son will get fixated on something he loves. If you want the lesson to really hit home, use that in your favor.

For example, he really loves vacuums. This semester he took a programming class in Scratch. And when his teacher found out, he told me that there is an Irobot Create 2. I found a used one on eBay, and my son has loved every moment making that thing do tricks with Scratch. He has really learned the program now. So if you can take a moment to learn what my kiddo loves (ask me, I’ll tell you) you will be able to connect with him.

4- Be patient and keep trying.

My son has good days and bad days. Please keep trying, and be patient with him. Talking loudly about him in the hallway will hurt his feelings.

He has a different way of seeing the world. He isn’t deaf. And excluding him, speaking loudly at him because you think he isn’t listening, or venting your frustrations on him will only guarantee he will never come back to your class.

5- Be careful where you put the piano in the Primary room.

When we first started primary, the room was set up long ways, with the piano an arm’s length from the first row of kids chairs. That was TOO CLOSE. The piano was so loud that my son had meltdowns every week. Once they moved things around, it got a lot easier for him.

6- Take the time to explain things to him.

There is a boy in Primary who is lower functioning on the Autism Spectrum. He often screeches in the middle of the program. And that startles and upsets my son. He kept telling me how he didn’t want to go to church because that boy was there and he didn’t like him. But after I explained that the boy couldn’t help it, and wasn’t trying to be upsetting, my son showed a tremendous amount of compassion. Soon he wanted to visit this boy and show him his vacuum. (High compliment indeed.)

7- Spectrum kids often hate to be touched.

We didn’t know why our son was avoiding class —until I realized the classroom was crowded. All the chairs were in a row each touching the other. So when the kids sat down they would bump each other. It made my son uncomfortable. But with a little breathing room, he was willing to sit in class again.

Discussing the touching issue with the class is a great idea too. One little boy likes my son a lot, but his brothers and he like rough play. And he was confused by my son’s avoidance and meltdowns when he got hit. It will take time, but when the other kids understand, things will go smoother.

8- Discuss how to help in an age-appropriate way.

Like the ‘no hitting’ rule, we had to implement, there will be other things that come up too. Often Spectrum kids repeat themselves. It can annoy other children, and helping them understand they aren’t trying to be difficult will help. And if your spectrum child needs to sit on the floor, don’t let the other kids shame them. My son is still smarting from the firm shunning the other little 9-year-old girls gave him two years ago when he was struggling to sit in the hard, cold chairs in class. For him and his sensitive skin, that was a huge barrier. And the carpet felt much more safe to him.

9- Sometimes three hours of church is just too much.

Primary Sharing TIme

A lot of people on the spectrum have social anxiety. It is hard to go to church, and overwhelming to be there all three hours. Currently, we bring my son to Sacrament meeting and then go home. There are weeks we will come only for Primary, or only for class.

When we were forcing him to be there all three hours we had serious fights to get him to church, and meltdowns immediately after we got home. But letting him have a more relaxed church schedule has been a blessing for our whole family.

10- Spectrum kids NEED toys at church.

We always have fidget toys with us. Some teachers complain or have a “policy” about no toys in class. But if you want my child to behave, keep his hands busy, and respect his need to fidget and wiggle. If you have an active lesson you will have an easier time with reverence.  You can even let the other kids bring a small fidget toy too. You never know. It may make your whole classroom a more enjoyable place.

11- Let Mom or Dad be close by if they choose.

A lot of teachers are intimidated by a parent in the classroom. But for my child, I am his security blanket. Just sitting next to me will make a hard situation easier for him. Let me come to Scouts, and to Primary, and don’t push so hard to get him to be “independent.” He makes changes very slowly, in very small steps. And often he won’t make these changes till he is ready for them, no matter how much you push. So please, let us do what works for us, even if it doesn’t fit your box.

12- Every change takes three times as long as an ASD kid.

To read more of Abby’s articles, click here.

Start with baby steps, and stay on each step for a long time. When you move too quickly you overwhelm him, and then you will see all your progress go out the window. If you are going too slow he will let you know. It’s OK if he lays on the floor in class (or Sacrament meeting, or Primary) when you are working on just being in the room. Work on sitting in the chair later. And don’t stress if it never comes.

I’m sure that as time passes, and my son becomes a young man, these tips will change. But for now, these are what I wish every Primary Teacher, leader, and parent knew. It’s hard being different. And when the things we all grew up with are too much, we need to adapt to make church work for those with their own set of struggles.

Abby Christianson

Abby is capable and caring. She is learning more about Autism and parenthood every day. Having completed training to be an RBT (Registered Behavior Technician) for ABA therapy she is beginning to understand her son. And even though she is the first to admit she makes a lot of mistakes, she is so grateful to be on this journey. She comes from a family with many autistic members. She invites us to join her, as she shares her adventures. She wishes to emphasize that Autism is a difference not a defect. If you or a family member have autism, Abby wants you to know that the challenges can be overcome, and there are blessings in autism. You or your loved one are not sick or broken. Together we will teach the world this new language.

A couple of years ago I was teaching some very bright senior Primary students as a long-term sub. The new youth program, “Come, Follow Me” had just been released and we decided to try using some of those techniques while still teaching the actual Primary lesson. I didn’t do it very well, partly because the program was so new I only had a few lessons to look at. Over time, I have given it more thought. The idea still appeals to me and I’ve tried to imagine how I would do it if I found myself back in Senior Primary. I am looking forward to getting to try it out someday, even if it means having to leave my puppets at home.

Following is a sample of what I have in mind. Since I have a lot more experience with preschoolers than I do older students, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Do you think it’s a good idea? How would you do it? What changes would you make to the lesson I’ve posted here? I do realize there is more in this plan than I can do in forty minutes. This is how I plan lessons. I plan a lot and then choose among the list based on the individual students and the direction the class takes. I try to teach students, not lessons, so I need to be prepared to follow their leads and needs.

My goals: In light of so many people incorrectly suggesting questions aren’t allowed in the Church, I would want my students to see that questions are very respectable, but that they need to be approached from a faith-based perspective. I would want them to feel safe asking even difficult questions. I would want them to learn how to research answers to their questions, using faith-based methods. Finally, I would want them to grow their testimonies.

I am imagining myself teaching nine children, since I tend to be assigned larger classes. Two are from less active families and may not know what fasting is.

Sample Lesson: Lesson 38: Esther Saves Her People

This lesson is in the Primary 6 Manual on the Old Testament.

The purpose of the lesson is to help the students learn how fasting can help them. I need to keep that in mind as I prepare.

If I was teaching this class using the ‘Come, Follow Me’ methods, I would give each student a folder with brads to keep their materials in. Each week, I would hand them a page for the coming week, which tells what lesson we will be learning, the major thought question, and a list of resources. I would encourage them to learn a little about the topic before coming to class. I would also ask them to write the thought question on a card and decorate it at home (if they like to decorate) and to put it where they will see it throughout the week. This will help them think about it and come to class with some thoughts in mind.

Lesson Plan:

On the board I would have the week’s major thought question: Why should I fast?

1. Since I love to tell stories, I would begin by telling the story. I would use flannel board pictures, not to act out the story, but merely as visual aids. When I was finished, I would lead a discussion on the story, making sure to learn whether or not the students had any concerns or questions about it.
2. I would then use the attention activity given at the start of the lesson, teaching it essentially as offered, but, since they’ve already heard the story, I would ask them what this demonstration has to do with Esther, and let them start discussing it.
3. I would then divide the students into three groups of three. We would rotate the group memberships each week so the students learned to work with different people. I would want a table in our classroom so I could have each group assigned a station. They could work in another area of the room if they chose, but their materials would be at their station. Each station would have appropriate research materials for their question—church magazines, General Conference talks, scriptures, and so on. Ask them to make a chart showing the most important answers. As they work, I would move between the groups, making suggestions. (We would have had training at the start of my calling to teach them how to do this.)
4. Group One: What do the scriptures say about how and why to fast?
5. Group Two: What do the modern prophets say about how and why to fast?
6. Group Three: What blessings come from fasting?

7. I would have each group find the answers to their questions from the resource packet I give them. Then we’d return to a full group and each group would present their findings.

8. After we did this, I would point out the week’s question again. What does what we’ve learned tell us about how to answer this question? Turn their attention to the blessings list. Are these blessings something you want to have? Why? What would your life be like if you had them? Do they have any further questions they would like to discuss on this subject?

9. Next, I’d address practical issues. Some children find it scary and others don’t feel they have the self-discipline to fast. Some people can’t fast due to health or because their parents won’t allow it (less active children in the class)—what can they do instead? I would like to have a Missionary Rehearsal every week, and this is a good time to use it. Have the students pretend they are missionaries teaching an investigator (this can be me unless some of the students have shown a gift for playing investigator). This allows children to figure out the solutions to their own concerns without having to admit they have concerns, if they are shy about doing that.

10. Present fears and concerns and let the missionaries help the investigator become confident enough to agree to fast

11. Application: Invite students to decide how to make a fast effective and to outline a plan for a really great fasting experience, including what sorts of things are appropriate to fast for. Write it out and promise to give them a copy next week or to email it to them.

To read more of Terrie’s articles, click the picture.

12. Inspiration: Tell the story in the lesson plan about the Mexican Saints. Talk about when Jesus fasted for forty days and nights. Finally, return to Esther. Ask the students what they think about fasting. Do they consider it valuable? Do they still have any concerns? Which story we learned today do they find most helpful in gaining a testimony of fasting?

13. Scripture story wrap-up: Ask them to share their thoughts about Esther as a person. Invite them to add her to their scripture hero list if they feel that she makes a good hero for them. (Have the students keep a list in their notebooks.)

14. Encourage them to talk about this subject at home and to plan for a personal experience with it if health allows.

15. Testimony

Terrie Lynn Bittner

The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.

This article was previously published on Latterdaysaintwoman.com

I have discovered that people assume women my age–in my fifties–don’t want to serve in Primary anymore, so their names are seldom even offered up to God. As a result, when I move, I simply alert the leaders that a Primary teacher is on her way to their ward. It doesn’t always work, since God sometimes has other plans and knows I will serve where He sends me, but it seems that most of the time, God is willing to humor me for my odd need for puppets and flannel boards, or even for a senior Primary class discussion. I was a miniature adult as a child; I’m making up for it now.

I’ve seen miracles in Primary. I have watched preschoolers gain their first testimonies and then go home and convert their parents. I’ve had my faith bolstered by theirs when mine is having a hard day.

Sometimes people will tell me that I need to go to Gospel Doctrine in order to learn the scriptures better. I enjoy that class, but honestly, I learn what really matters about the scriptures in Primary.  The children ask the really hard questions:

“If Jesus knew He could bring Lazarus back to life, then why did He cry?” (three-year-old)

 

“Why did Satan only try to tempt Jesus three times and then give up? We’re not as important as Jesus, but he never gives up tempting us.” (five-year-old).

 

“Did Alma cry when his son left the Church?” (four-year-old).

 

“When Nephi had to leave his home, did he have to leave people he loved?” (four-year-old).

 

“Everyone in this picture [of Jesus’ trial] looks mad. Where are the people who love Jesus? No one should have to be all alone when they are scared” (four-year-old).

Have you ever taught a class in which your students burst into tears because Nephi is dead? I have.  Have you had them, while acting out the story of the ten lepers,  demand the other nine lepers go back and thank Jesus so He won’t be sad? I have.

After a group of ten-year-olds and I searched the Book of Mormon to discover what sacrifices Moroni had to make to get the book to us, one girl noted, “He gave up so much for the Book of Mormon–everyone he loved died, people were trying to kill him, and he was the only good person left in his part of the world–that it seems disrespectful not to read that book every day.” Those words haunt me any day I’m tempted not to read my scriptures.

A nine-year-old informed me her family had left the church and so she couldn’t come anymore. “I’m the only one who still has a testimony, but I will keep my testimony forever and when I grow up, I’ll be back. They can make me not go to church, but nobody can take away my testimony.” On the days I feel full of excuses, she’s the person I remember.

A ten-year-old boy who had been abandoned by his parents–literally left on a sidewalk–without even his teddy bear when he was very young found personal comfort in knowing the early Church members often had to flee their homes with nothing. He reminds me daily that the scriptures and Church history can guide me through my own trials.

While there are certainly good things to be learned in adult classes, Primary focuses on the saving doctrines, the ones that really matter in the eternal scheme of things. Studying those lessons each week, and reading the suggested materials for teachers, I am reminded that while it’s interesting to debate how the Book of Mormon was translated or why women don’t have the priesthood, those aren’t really the issues that will bring us back to Heavenly Father. The issues that really matter are the ones found in the Primary manual.

I know the people in the scriptures are real, but somehow my little students know it better than I do. It’s why they cry when Nephi dies or when Alma the Younger leaves the Church and makes his father sad. It’s why they run up and attack the bad guys in the picture of Jesus’ trial.  They have faith that leaves me in awe. If I tell them that when our class is really reverent, Jesus Christ Himself might be present, they insist on setting out a chair for Him.

To read more of Terrie’s articles, click the picture.

A preschooler who asked his non-LDS father if they could please have family prayer, family scripture study, and family home evening, was told they could–but he would have to say each prayer, bring the scriptures without reminder, and completely plan and carry out every part of Family Home Evening except treats on his own. His faith was so strong, he did just that, reteaching his Primary lesson each week using materials I gave him when he asked for my help. His parents thought he’d lose interest, but a year later, when I moved away, he was still doing it.

There is a reason Jesus asked us to become like little children. Even though my own children are grown, I have the privilege of witnessing the extraordinary faith of God’s Primary children every week–and they are changing my life.

It’s why I’ll never get too old to teach Primary.

Terrie Lynn Bittner

The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.

This article was previously published in Latterdaysaintwoman.com

This article was first written when I was teaching a split nursery– one for junior nursery and one for senior nursery.

Senior nursery consists of the children who will be Sunbeams in January. We began this in the summer, when the class size reached fourteen with four more yet to come. We have a nice arrangement for this. Our classroom has a divider in the middle and the senior side has a very tiny classroom adjoining, which can be reached without going into the hall. We use this for lesson and sharing time and it’s set up like the Sunbeam room. The curtain is opened for the combined snack and singing time.

I think of our nursery as having three stages for a child.

Stage 1:

The last six months or so of the year, the children are in a divided class. The younger children have a structured class, but it is lightly structured. The teacher teaches the lesson and does each stage, but as the lesson manual says, we don’t worry if they don’t participate. There is one large toddler toy always out for the youngest children, who often don’t join in the lessons and activities.

Stage 2:

In January the class is no longer split, since the oldest children move to Sunbeams and the numbers are small. The structure picks up at this time and playtimes are shortened and lessons are lengthened.

Stage 3:

Preparation for Sunbeams. Our ward doesn’t gradually increase the structure for Sunbeams, so we do it in nursery. The older children have their own class from summer on, and we are very structured, using chairs for lessons. However, each segment is short and we move around a lot. When I taught Sunbeams, I taught the lesson for twenty minutes and did the rest in coloring and activities related to the lesson, so for these older children, I do ten minutes, which is half of what I figure they’ll need for Sunbeams.

Of course, this isn’t ideal, since some children start right in with stage two, but it’s the best I can do.

Staffing for our LDS Nursery

During the time we split, we have five people on the nursery staff–two for each class and a “nursery grandma” who sits in the rocking chair and rocks criers, cuddles children who needs a break, and works to get new children to stop crying and start playing. She monitors their readiness to join the crowd and helps them settle in. Often they will come to her for a moment’s break, a cuddle and a hug before returning to their toys. She stays in the junior room unless she’s needed elsewhere. I consider her the key to our nursery’s success, since we have far fewer criers since we added her to our staff.

When we re-combine, we will most likely release one teacher and the others will take turns attending Relief Society and Sunday School. As the nursery leader, I’ll stay all the time, providing continuity and teaching the lesson so it’s taught the same way each week. Anyway…I don’t want to attend classes that don’t use flannel boards and puppets.

Schedules for our LDS Nursery

Note that I haven’t done a stage two yet, so this is theoretical. I’ve done nursery many times, but I’m aiming for a higher level this time.

Our schedule was designed around the need to have the music leader at 11:30, when she is free, and a desire not to have snack too close to when they’re going home to lunch.

Stage 1 schedule (junior nursery, children who won’t go to Sunbeams in January.)

10:50 Arrival and project.
11:00 Gathering routine, opening song and prayer, lesson.
11:10 snack
11:30 singing time and musical activities.
11:45: free play, clean up
12:15-12:30 Review, group games, story time, or educational activity, closing prayer.

Having just started this, the junior nursery teacher is experimenting with the schedule. She is finding it best to start the lesson right away, and do the project afterwards (the coloring page from the lesson) but she has only a small group and they all come quickly. If your class trickles in, it won’t work. However, she finds starting the lesson helps to end the tears more quickly.

The junior and senior nursery combines for snack and music, since the music leader from Primary does our singing time.

Stage 2 schedule: (combined class from January to July or so.) 10:50 Arrival and coloring page
11:00 Gathering routine, opening song and prayer, lesson.
11:10 snack
11:30 singing time and musical activities.
11:45: free play, clean up
12:10-12:30 Closing activities: a scripture story (using the stories that will be taught in stage 3) and related activity, such as acting something out or an action rhyme related to it. This is a very brief start to the sharing time concept, but much shorter and without the craft or singing time.

This is followed by group games, stories, or a single activity such as puzzles or sewing cards, with a small bin of toddler toys for the one-year-olds who don’t want to do the activity. The final five minutes or so we’ll review the lessons.

Stage 3 Schedule: This is a very structured schedule and requires leaders with the time and energy to do it. The work can be divided up.

10:50 Arrival and project. (Usually the coloring page for that lesson.)
11:00 Gathering routine, opening song and prayer, lesson.
11:10 snack (Combined with junior nursery.)
11:30 singing time and musical activities. (Combined with junior nursery)

Nursery Mini-Sharing Time:

See sample sharing times for nursery.

11:45: Craft related to the sharing time, involving both coloring and gluing (teach gluing skills.)

12:00 Lesson Segment:

5 minutes: Learn a scripture story and do a related activity. One story per month.
5 minutes: Singing time related to sharing time story, same songs all month.
5 minutes: Review the fun parts of the regular lesson.

12:15: Game or educational toy/activity (We bring out only one most weeks and rotate between sewing cards, puzzles, file folder games, plastic connecting blocks (large sized), flannel board, and flannel dolls (like paper dolls, but with flannel) or other toys with educational value.

Yet another LDS Nursery Schedule:

I am now teaching the junior nursery in another ward and I’m testing this schedule, since I do my own music here:

Arrival: Color or play on floor. (Most of the children don’t color, so I just put their names on a paper to send home if they don’t.) When I tried this with the older class, I had a craft going. I invited a few children at a time to the craft table. They glued and then colored.

10:25 Lesson

10:40 Snack

11:00 Singing Time

To read more articles by Terrie Bittner, please click here.

11:15 Play time

11:45 Group Activities

I like this schedule because it breaks up the structured time. The children behave better. They are more mellow after they’ve eaten. It also lets me set up the lesson while they eat–whoever is helping me handles the snack time.

Terrie Lynn Bittner

The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.

The lessons of the gospel are presented each week through games, puzzles, and scripture stories from scripture text of the Bible, Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine and Covenants (modern revelation given to latter-day prophets).  Then lessons are taught in smaller groups which review gospel principals. These children learn from the early age of three, where they come from, who they are and where they can go after their earth life has ended.

The youngest of this group are appropriately named the “Sunbeams” which has carried on a tradition for well over fifty years.  These three year olds sit together for their class and with amazing simplicity learn gospel truths which carry with them for the rest of their lives.

All I really need to know can be learned as a Sunbeam:

Who am I?

Where did I come from?

Where am I going?

There are answers to these questions which mankind has been asking for years and the Sunbeam class can answer them.

Who am I?

From the beloved children’s song “I am  a Child of God” from the LDS Children’s Songbook it tells us that we are children of God who were sent here on earth to parents kind and dear. Those lines are sung many times throughout the year in song. Should we believe these words? Yes!  The prophet Jeremiah did when he wrote (Jeremiah 1:5) “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; before thou camest fourth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations…”

If we dig down deep, read inspiring literature and ponder who we really are, we can know. Search, ponder and pray (another LDS children’s song) can come in handy and afterward, we really can feel our divine nature.

Where did I come from?

Another favorite LDS Church children’s song is called “I Lived in Heaven.” The words ring true as they are sung: “I lived in Heaven a long time ago it is true.  Lived there and loved there with people I know so did you. Then Heavenly Father presented a beautiful plan, all about earth and eternal salvation for man.” We are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us and we should love Him. Those children growing up hearing those kind words know in their hearts that they are loved and that is what I have learned as well. We all have the divine nature of God in us. We came from a kind Heavenly Father which gives me comfort. We did live in Heaven before we came here. Another question answered.

Where am I going?

“My life is a gift, my life has a plan, my life has a purpose, in heaven it began.” These words are from the opening lines of “I Will Follow God’s Plan “from the LDS Children’s Songbook.  What a positive message we can learn if we listen. From the plan of salvation taught to our young children it says we came from Heaven and we are going back to Heaven after we are done with our mission here on earth.

To read more of Valerie’s articles, click here.

A life of faith is what these children learn at such a young age and continue to learn as they reach adulthood. It is that simple. Adults complicate these ideals with doubt, fear and disbelief. A child’s faith is strong and we need to follow their lead when they know in their hearts that they are children of God.

Our challenge as adults is to keep that faith through all our own challenges of life. Have hope when all seems hopeless.  All I need to know in life I learned as a Sunbeam.

Valerie Steimle

Valerie Steimle has been writing as a family advocate for over 25 years. As a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she promotes Christian living in her writings and is the mother of nine children and grandmother to twelve. Mrs. Steimle authored six books and is a contributing writer to several online websites. To her, time is the most precious commodity we have and knows we should spend it wisely.
To read more of Valerie’s work, visit her at her website, The Blessings of Family Life.

This article was previously published on Latterdaysaintwoman.com

Whether you’re relieved to be leaving Primary or grieving,  there are things to take into consideration when you are leaving your Primary students to a new teacher, especially if you are teaching very young children.

One of the great joys of teaching little ones is the deep love they develop for their teacher. There is nothing quite like having a preschooler rush across a crowded store into your arms, or getting a hug from a sweet toddler. Because children do love their teachers, they are often devastated when their teacher is released. A teacher can make the transition easier by preparing her children.

If you are moving away, you may know for some time in advance that the change is coming. Begin telling your students a month or so in advance that you are moving away and the children will soon have a special new teacher. Tell them how a teacher will be chosen, that the Primary presidency and the bishopric will pray to know whom Heavenly Father wants to teach them. If there is a possibility they will have substitutes for a while, tell them that also. You can explain that someone will take care of them every week until the new teacher is chosen.

Preschoolers often worry about who will take care of them. Once they start school, they will understand the concept of substitutes a little better. You will have to repeat all this information weekly and also send a note to the parents. In spite of this, your students may not believe you and may still cry or be angry when it really happens. If they lash out at you or refuse to speak to you, don’t take it personally. They just don’t understand, but they will soon adjust.

If you get released a few weeks before you move, try to stay away from the classroom so the children can begin bonding with their new teacher. When you see the children in the halls, however, be sure you give them a hug or stop to talk so they know you still love them.

If possible, invite the new teacher to visit the class before you are released. Meet with her to tell her about the children or write a summary of the class. Include your routine, but explain you understand she will do things her own way. You just want her to know what they’re used to, since they will often ask for those things again. Be sure to tell her about disabilities, shyness, non-member parents, and any other situations she should be aware of.

When the new teacher visits, introduce her as your friend and tell the children how excited you are that she will be their new teacher. Assure them she will take very good care of them and you are happy Heavenly Father chose her as the very best teacher for them. Allow her to watch you teach and to participate in whatever way she chooses. You may want to end with a craft so she can talk to the children more informally and get to know them.

At the end of the class, give the children hugs and ask them to be very helpful and loving to your friend when she starts teaching them. This gives the new teacher your approval and tells the children you are comfortable with the changes.

If you are released unexpectedly, you have several choices for passing along the mantle of love. You can offer to come to sharing time or class and introduce the children to their new teacher as they arrive. You can also, especially if you are afraid you will cry or if you have to move immediately into your new calling, send a letter for the teacher to read, or individual notes you can give the children in Sacrament Meeting or that you can mail to them.

Sometimes after you have been released, your former students will complain to you that the teacher does things differently than you did. As long as they aren’t telling you something really serious, support the teacher. Tell the children that every teacher does things differently, and when you became their teacher, you made changes too. Assure them they will get used to her way of doing things soon and that you know she is a good teacher.

To read more articles by Terrie Bittner, please click here.

As much as we enjoy having their love and loyalty, we need to help them transfer those emotions to their new teacher. Resist temptations to act on our quiet pleasure that the children prefer us. Instead, emphasize how special the new teacher is and give them permission to love her.

Once you’ve been released, tell yourself it is no longer your calling. Allow yourself to grieve, but then move on. Throw yourself into your new calling quickly. Your students will be fine and soon your new calling will capture your heart in the same way your old one did.

Terrie Lynn Bittner

The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.

This article was previously published on Latterdaysaintwoman.com

Reactivation in Primary can be a tricky issue, since you cannot reactivate the child without the permission of the parents. However, you do have one factor strongly on your side: it is very hard for a parent to resist an adult who loves her child. For that reason, love, time, and attention are the most important factors in Primary reactivation.

When you become aware of an inactive child, try to establish some sort of contact with the family. Find out as much as you can about the family, and why they are inactive, by talking to home and visiting teachers, the Primary presidency and the Relief Society and Elder’s quorum leaders. This will allow you to approach the family prepared to meet their needs. Pray for guidance before initiating contact to be sure of the best approach. What follows is only a few suggestions.

One good way to initiate contact is by going to the home with the visiting or home teachers the first time. (If you are a woman, go with the visiting teacher.) Meet the parents and bring a small gift for the child, such as some stickers and the supplies for the craft you did last Sunday. A small picture of Jesus is also a nice gift. Ask permission to meet the child and to present the gift. (If there are other Primary-age children in the family, you might want to bring enough for everyone.) Then spend the time getting to know the mother so she trusts you.

Ask permission to send a similar packet each week to the child. Tell them if they prefer, you will address it to them so they can review the materials first.

If you are not able to visit, contact the parents before sending things to the child, using email or a telephone call. This allows you to get an answer to your request to send materials.

In your first  letter, tell the child how much she is missed and that you hope she will come to see you soon. Include the meeting schedule, the address of the building and your name and telephone number.

The second week, again send materials from the lesson, and include a class list. It may be that the child knows some of the LDS children in the class. A picture can help her see who her new friends would be if she came.

The third week, send a letter to the parent telling her you will be calling this week and would love to talk about arranging for the child to visit your Primary. Include a list of the lessons that will be taught over the next month. That way, a parent who has issues with certain doctrine can choose a lesson she is comfortable with. Describe a typical Primary day in case the parent is unfamiliar with the current program. Remember that some of these parents may not have attended church since they were children themselves.

When you call the parent, be gentle and accepting. Many inactive adults have been hurt in the past and may be nervous about this sudden attention, particularly attention directed to their child. Offer to visit again so you can get to know the parents and child better. You may want to bring another Primary teacher–one who teaches a sibling–or a member of the Primary presidency with you. Tell the mother you will stay no more than fifteen minutes unless she invites you to stay longer and that you will bring with you the lesson manual and any information she might want to have. Tell her someone will come with you on the visit. Having another adult along makes the visit easier and doubles the amount of spiritual prompting available. It is difficult to predict what sort of person the parent will respond to, so the second adult may be better able to work with the parent.

When you visit and extend an invitation to Primary (which could be made and signed by your students), invite the parent to attend Primary with her child once or twice so that she can see for herself what is taught and what is done in Primary. Promise to meet the family at church and to sit with them in Sacrament Meeting. Find out if the parent has any particular concerns. If the parent seems interested in returning, describe your plans for the coming class and also tell the parent what will happen in sharing time.

If you learn the child has special needs, invite the parent to help you plan to successfully include the child in your class. Parents whose children are disabled often worry that their child will be unwelcome. If you show yourself to be comfortable and loving, you are more likely to have success with this child than with any other.

If the parent is reluctant, or does not want to return to church, thank her for letting you call or visit and ask permission to continue sending letters, cards, the craft or handouts to the child. You might also, if things seem to be going well, ask permission to visit again periodically, promising to always call first. If you and the parent are the same gender and get along well, ask if you can visit her again just as a friend. You might even ask about becoming her visiting teacher. Creating a sincere friendship often leads the parent to eventually return. You must win over the parent to get the child back, but it must be done through sincere love.

Be sure to spend some time with the child if she is there. Ask her questions about herself and invite her to show you her favorite toys. Let her know there is someone at church who cares about her.

To read more articles by Terrie Bittner, please click here.

Talk about this child to the other students. Often some of them go to school with inactive children.  Each week, when I take roll, I point out the children who did not come and express my sorrow for their absence. Sometimes the children pass this information along to the child and often they can reactivate the child themselves. When the child does return, the children are familiar with the name, and happy to see the child. Consider setting up a chair for each child on your list and making sure the children know how sad you are that any seat is empty.

Each name on your roll belongs to one of Heavenly Father’s children. Help them find their way back home.

Terrie Lynn Bittner

The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.

Inside the mind of an amazing primary teacher

Terrie Lynn Bittner loved children. She loved the way their minds worked. She loved their personalities and uniqueness. She loved to learn from them. All of this made her an amazing primary teacher. Here are some posts of hers from Facebook that give a glimpse into what made her a great teacher.

June 8

My class spent more than a month planning and creating a simple gift for our bishop (lay pastor) David . They entirely planned everything themselves and gave me instructions to do what they couldn’t. They presented it today during class when he visited and he shared his testimony of Christ with them. Later, we were talking about the Sermon on the Mount and wishing we could have heard Jesus sharing His testimony. Someone said, “But we got to listen to the bishop’s testimony. That’s almost as special.” They said they felt important because they got to hear him give a talk that no one else got to hear.

July 5

Tomorrow’s lesson for my preschoolers is gratitude and it includes the story of Jesus healing the ten lepers. I am going to give them each a picture of a Biblical era flannel board person to hold as they act out the story to help ensure they don’t go home and tell their parents Jesus healed leopards, which often happens when I tell that story.

July 13

From one of my Primary students, after a review of Jesus healing the lepers: “How can you love Jesus and just run away and make Him sad?” That’s why I teach Primary–their questions are so life-changing.

I just love my Primary class. They were upset that nine of the lepers did not thank Jesus for healing them, because it might have made Him sad. So, when we acted it out, they had the child playing the thankful leper go back and remind the others to return and give thanks–and they did. We do the story again next week and I am wondering how they will act it out then.

August 31

One of the children started a tradition of a class hug each week. This was our last one.

I survived my last day with my little class. I managed to not cry until class was over and we were in opening exercises, which is pretty good, I think. I confess we had sort of a lightweight class today–it was on obeying the law and my little ones don’t have any desire to break laws and go to, as one child said, “Kid-jail.” After the short lesson (we had picture taking before the lesson), we colored, ate the cookies a child brought, played with all my puppets, and had several fascinating conversations, including that I can still be Mormon even if I’m not going to church in that building, because Mormons are everywhere–even in South Carolina, as one child said, and another said there were some Mormons in Utah, too. Yup, that one I’m very sure of.

September 27

I think I am taking Georgie (my rabbit puppet) to the class I am subbing for tomorrow. If they tell me they are too old for him, I will put him away…but I will still know he is there and will feel better.

Nov 6

Best prayer I’ve heard from a child giving the opening prayer in a class: “Please help us be good for once in our lives.”

Close second for a child’s classroom prayer: “Please bless us that we won’t have any pillow fights.”

Nov 23

I worried for two weeks about today’s lesson because it was sad and required a lot of listening from my seven-year-old students. I had promised to explain Gethsemane to them during the lesson on it, only to realize there is none (I’d forgotten), so I put it into the lesson on Jesus’ death.

My class turned it into an amazing experience. They listened quietly, added their own thoughts, and asked good questions. One noted that even though it’s hard to hear all the bad things that happened to Jesus, it proves how much He loves us, and so we know we’re special. Another asked how Judas, knowing Jesus so well in person, and having spent so much time with Him, could do something so terrible to Him, especially since apostles are supposed to try to do only good things. I explained that afterwards, Judas felt terrible about what he’d done, and that caused another child to worry about whether or not he’d been able to repent. She hoped, since he came to understand that he’d done wrong, that he could be forgiven and her heart ached for him. Such sweet hearts they have.

Dec 7

I decided to try something new with the seven-year-olds I teach. They’re so smart and confident I was curious to see how it would work. I told them about the recently added new program for teenagers in which the teens are divided into groups and work together to research and plan how to teach a topic. Then they take turns teaching each other. I asked if they’d like to try it and teach the first half of the lesson to me. (I was prepared to go traditional if they didn’t.) They did. I gave each group a picture from the life of Christ and a card with some questions they needed to be able to answer in their lesson plan. I really anticipated they would read the questions aloud and then just give a short one sentence answer to each one as their presentations. But not one child brought their card up when they presented. They held up their pictures, explained them and then explained the gospel principle behind it in detail. Their lessons were not much different than what I would have done myself. Every week I go home astounded by this group. I’ve yet to find anything they can’t handle. I think their parents should write a book.

Dec 28

Today is the last day of class for children in our church. The next Sunday, they move to the next oldest class. However, I am getting moved up with my students, so I am very happy about keeping them next year. The children were also happy, so we made plans for the coming year as I told them what they will be learning. If I can’t adopt them, this is the next best thing.

To read all of Britt Kelly’s articles, please click here.

Who wouldn’t want Terrie as their child’s teacher? What child wouldn’t want to be loved and understood and offered a bunny puppet? Terrie’s beautiful heart was a wonderful example to me as a mother.

Britt Kelly

Britt grew up in a family of six brothers and one sister and gained a bonus sister later. She camped in the High Sierras, canoed down the Colorado, and played volleyball at Brigham Young University. She then served a mission to South Africa.

With all of her time in the gym and the mountains and South Africa, she was totally prepared to become the mother of 2 sons and soon to be 9 daughters. By totally prepared she means willing to love them and muddle through everything else in a partially sleepless state. She is mostly successful at figuring out how to keep the baby clothed, or at least diapered, though her current toddler is challenging this skill.

She feels children naturally love to learn and didn’t want to disrupt childhood curiosity with worksheets and school bells. She loves to play in the dirt, read books, go on adventures, watch her children discover new things, and mentor her children. Her oldest child is currently at a community college and her oldest son is going to high school at a public school. She loves to follow her children in their unique paths and interests.

She loves to write because, unlike the laundry and the dishes, writing stays done. Whenever someone asks her how she does it all she wonders what in the world they think she’s doing.

When I was fairly new to Mormonism, I began teaching little children. I loved the work and eventually I developed a fair amount of skill. In time, people began coming to me for advice, and I had opportunities to teach classes on how to teach children. During this time, I also had some opportunities to serve as a leader in the children’s organization, which is known as Primary. At first, of course, I wasn’t very good at leading. Well, to be honest, I was awful at it. As usual, though, I got better. We always do if we try hard enough and trust God to teach us how to improve.

After awhile, I sometimes got called to be a counselor (an assistant to the president of the organization) for the specific purpose of teaching the president how to lead the Primary. In the great Mormon tradition, the president is often someone with no leadership experience or none in the organization she is leading, while the counselors she chooses often have a great deal of experience.  I even served as president myself.

One time, as I was preparing to move after serving in a leadership role in Primary, I attended my final meeting with the staff and leaders of the Primary. Someone asked if I thought I would be called into Primary in my next congregation and everyone agreed I would—it is sometimes said I have the word Primary written on my forehead. It was noted that I would probably be called as a teacher, being new, and another person asked how it would feel to be demoted to teacher after being a leader.

I was surprised by the question, particularly since that isn’t how most Mormons look at callings. Mormons don’t look at callings as promotions or demotions. They aren’t moved gradually up the ranks through the church. A person who has never lead in the Church can find herself heading up an organization, while last week’s bishop (lay pastor) might be next week’s toddler nursery teacher. The inexperienced leader might well turn out to be more effective at leading due to her personality, her skills, and her experience in other roles inside or outside the church.

Many people think of leadership as power. For a Mormon, leadership isn’t about power; it’s about carrying out God’s work. When a calling is done correctly, only God has power. The rest of us are merely doing the work He asked us to do in the way He asked us to do it. Both the bishop and the teacher of toddlers have authority to carry out their work, but only to carry it out in the way God has outlined it. They don’t accept their roles out of a desire to have power. They accept it from a desire to do God’s work and to serve others. As I have often said in this series, it doesn’t matter where I serve–only that I do.

With this in mind, I suggested that I would consider it a privilege to return to teaching. As I continued to think about this, I thought about my accomplishments in my leadership roles and in my roles as a teacher.

I prefer being a teacher to being a leader. Having been a leader, I understand how critical that role is and how badly Primary runs when a presidency does not do its job correctly. The singing times and the sharing time lessons have a great impact on the children. When I’m a leader, I am happy knowing I can be of service to the children and to the other teachers.

When I am a teacher, though, the impact I have is more personal in terms of the children. Because I am teaching just a few children, I build a personal relationship with each one. I know so much about them. I know their families, the day-to-day events that impact them, their fears, their dreams, and their challenges. When I plan a lesson, I can plan it so that it meets the individual needs of each child, something I can’t do when I plan a sharing time that will need to be taught to a large number of children at once. I feel that I have a more personal impact on their lives.

This was brought home to me when I taught a child with special needs many years ago. Although she was four, she functioned as an eighteen-month-old. She was included happily in my Primary class, but I made a special effort to get to know her so I could figure out how to reach her and see to it she learned something, however small it might be. When she finally began to talk at age five, she began calling me Sister Church. To her, I was the Church. This, I think, is often true when you are a Primary teacher. For the children, you are the center of their church attendance and your ability to change their lives can be dramatic as a result.

I serve because I want to make a difference and I want that difference to be personal. For this reason, I have seldom found myself wishing for higher positions.  The times I’ve been a leader in the Primary, I have felt a step removed from the most powerful position in the Primary. When I have served at a stake (diocese) level, I have been two steps removed from that place. As much as I love and admire the three women who lead the Primary program for the entire world, I would never want to be in their positions. They may be seen by the world as having more power than I do when I sit in a classroom with my seven little preschoolers, but in truth, I am the one with the power that really matters.

Mormonism
To read more of Terrie’s articles, click the picture.

I am the one who gets to share the gospel with a small group of children I know so well the lesson can be built just for them. I’m the one they want to hug at the end of class and the one who can answer their own personal questions. They won’t remember who the General Primary president was when they were little, but they might remember me. The General Primary president, despite having done so much for my little students, will probably never meet any of them and will probably never find out if she made a difference in an individual life. Sometimes, I do get to see the results of my work.

Power isn’t a matter of where you sit on the authority chart. It is a matter of your impact on the people you have the opportunity to serve. I don’t need the power that makes me famous. I just want to help a preschooler learn that Jesus loves her. That, to me, is real power—the power to change one individual child’s life.

Terrie Lynn Bittner

The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.