Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful.

The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process (James E. Faust, “The Refiner’s Fire,” April 1979).

Adversity is a given in life. We will all experience it. It is for this very reason that we are here in this mortal journey – to prove ourselves through our trials and tribulations. During times of adversity, some choose to abandon faith in the Lord. Others choose to remain steadfast and true. They choose to hold fast to their faith and continue to serve the Lord and their fellowmen.

Service is a big part of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We may be asked to teach Sunday school, conduct music, teach small children, lead the congregation, teach early morning seminary, or to help with the Sunday bulletin. It really doesn’t matter where in the Church we’re asked to serve. What matters is that we serve to the best of our abilities. What matters is that we use the talents the Lord has blessed us with to serve Him and our fellowmen in whatever capacity we’re asked to serve.

I’ve seen and felt the hand of adversity this year. I’ve also witnessed an outpouring of blessings through the selfless service of others.

Yesterday, I was released as the Relief Society (women’s organization of the Church) president in our ward (local Church unit). This means that as of yesterday, I’m no longer the Relief Society president for our ward. A release from a calling in the Church usually comes about when one is being called to serve somewhere else, is moving out of the ward, when personal or family circumstances change, or it might simply be time to give someone else an opportunity to serve in that position. We’re moving back to the West Coast in a week!

As the Relief Society president, I came to love each of the women in the ward. However, there is a special place in my heart for those sisters who experienced great adversity over the past year. Some sisters have serious health-related challenges. Others are struggling financially. There are problems in marriages and other family relationships. The list goes on. Each is dealing with trials and adversity in her own way. With faith in the Lord and with help from her sisters in the Relief Society, each sister continues to move forward, one step at a time.

Sometimes, serving and helping someone else does require a lot from us, but I’ve found that these times are very rare. Most times, it’s the small and sincere acts of love that go a long way in easing someone else’s load. Often times, it doesn’t cost us anything except an hour or two of our time. At times, a smile, a kind word, and a true friend is all that is needed. Someone who will listen and not judge. Someone who understands, who cares, who looks past the shortcomings to the person inside. Someone who is willing to share another’s burden, even if it is just for a few minutes.

Alma, a prophet of The Book of Mormon, taught us that to become true disciples of Jesus Christ, we must be willing to bear one another’s burdens.

And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

 

Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life (Mosiah 18:8-9).

A wonderful thing happens when we strive to serve and help others during their trials – we forget to dwell on our challenges. Our problems may not disappear completely but somehow our perspective changes. What once seemed insurmountable is not quite so overwhelming. We stop feeling sorry for ourselves.

I’m filled with gratitude for the examples of these sisters. Despite personal trials, these sisters chose to serve and help someone else. They remind me on a constant basis that each of us is our sister’s keeper. We are indeed our brothers’ keepers!

Selfless service is a wonderful antidote to the ills that flow from the worldwide epidemic of self-indulgence. Some grow bitter or anxious when it seems that not enough attention is being paid to them, when their lives would be so enriched if only they paid more attention to the needs of others.

 

The answer lies in helping to solve the problems of those around us rather than worrying about our own, living to lift burdens even when we ourselves feel weighed down, putting our shoulder to the wheel instead of complaining that the wagons of life seem to be passing us by.

 

Stretching our souls in service helps us to rise above our cares, concerns, and challenges. As we focus our energies on lifting the burdens of others, something miraculous happens. Our own burdens diminish. We become happier. There is more substance to our lives.
(David S. Baxter, “Faith, Service, Constancy,” October 2006).

This post was originally published in May 2008. Minor changes have been made.

Moira T

“We are beloved spirit daughters of God, and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction.  As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar.  We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who:

Seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriages, family and homes.

Find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood.

Delight in service and good works.

Love life and learning

Stand for truth and righteousness

Sustain the priesthood as the authority of God on earth.

Rejoice in the blessings of the temple, understand our divine destiny and strive for exaltation.”

Valerie Steimle

Valerie Steimle has been writing as a family advocate for over 25 years. As a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she promotes Christian living in her writings and is the mother of nine children and grandmother to twelve. Mrs. Steimle authored six books and is a contributing writer to several online websites. To her, time is the most precious commodity we have and knows we should spend it wisely.
To read more of Valerie’s work, visit her at her website, The Blessings of Family Life.

The official handbook for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints explains the purpose of Relief Society:

Relief Society prepares women for the blessings of eternal life by helping them increase their faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and help those in need. Relief Society accomplishes these purposes through Sunday gospel instruction, other Relief Society meetings, visiting teaching, and welfare and compassionate service. (See Handbook 2: Administering the Church.)

Relief Society began in 1842 when the women of the church told Joseph Smith, their first prophet and president, that they wanted a woman’s organization similar to those that were fashionable all around the country. He told them he had a better plan for them, one planned for them by God Himself and lost in the Great Apostasy. He helped them organize the Relief Society and told them the church had not been fully organized until the Relief Society began. It was to become a critical part of God’s plan, it’s motto, Charity Never Faileth, guiding its members in their work.

Julie B. Beck is the current president of the world-wide Relief Society. This places her in leadership over millions of women in diverse settings. Local branches of the organization have local leaders who report to stake (regional) leaders. Leadership of the Relief Society is also held by women at all levels.

Julie Beck explained:

We work in partnership with priesthood leaders, who hold keys which give them authority to preside in the name of the Lord. We operate in the manner of the priesthood—which means that we seek, receive, and act on revelation; make decisions in councils; and concern ourselves with caring for individuals one by one. Ours is the priesthood purpose to prepare ourselves for the blessings of eternal life by making and keeping covenants. Therefore, like our brethren who hold the priesthood, ours is a work of salvation, service, and becoming a holy people. (See Julie B. Beck, Relief Society: A Sacred Work.)

The Relief Society has a number of elements that help it carry out its purpose. Each Sunday Mormons hold church for three hours. They have a standards worship service, and two sessions of classes. One class is Sunday School, with men and women together. For the final classes, men and women meet separately. The women have Relief Society, where they discuss the gospel from a woman’s point of view. They learn how to apply the gospel in their everyday lives and lessons are personalized to the individual needs of the class. Classes are taught by women who are called (chosen) to teach.

In addition, Relief Society groups hold periodic meetings on other days. Some small groups form based on special interest, such as literature, self-reliance, or parenting. If a woman has an interest in forming a group, she can talk to her Relief Society leaders, which means the groups can have endless diversity. Once a month most Relief Societies also hold larger classes for all women. These are often a combination of spiritual and practical knowledge. Over the years I have learned some of the following skills in various Relief Society meetings: car repair, plumbing, cooking inexpensively, sewing, family history, gardening, languages, home education, blogging…the choices are as varied as the women who belong to the organization. In addition to lessons, many Relief Society meetings also involve humanitarian work.

Service is, of course, a primary component of the Relief Society organization. One popular part of the program is the literacy program. The literacy leader must be a woman, since she must be a member of the Relief Society, although men may receive the training and may also teach under the direction of the female leader. Literacy takes many forms, based on the needs of the individual congregation. If someone needs to learn to read, he or she may be taught by a private tutor. If there are multiple students who want to learn to read, a class is organized. Once students have completed the class, they can teach others to read, serving as both a teacher and a role model for students, who will be able to have a teacher who has been there.

During my time as literacy leader, I oversaw an English as a Second Language program and a citizenship preparation class. We also organized a blogging club, since in today’s world, blogging is one type of literacy. Other programs might help parents raise readers, teach journaling or personal history writing, improve computer skills, or conduct a literary book club. Some conduct homework help programs for children. Each congregation chooses the focus that best suits the needs of its members.

Another service program carried about by the Relief Society is Visiting Teaching. Women, working in pairs, are assigned several women to visit each month. They develop a friendship with those they visit and, when that woman needs help, she has two people she can call on. As a person who moves often, I can testify to the value of a visiting teacher. The first time I lived far from any family was pretty overwhelming. One day I needed help but because I was new, I just didn’t feel I knew anyone well enough to “bother” them with a request for assistance. As I stood in my kitchen, worrying about what to do, I noticed on my refrigerator a small poster with the names and numbers of my new visiting teachers, with a plea to call them first on the bottom of the note. Relieved, I picked up the phone and reached a visiting teacher who was thrilled that I had felt comfortable enough to ask her for help.

Years before that, my father was diagnosed with a brain tumor. His emergency surgery was being held some distance away and I needed to be there. However, I was in the process of moving out of state and my husband had already gone ahead to get his new office in order and to find a home for us. I had no idea how to organize the millions of details of my suddenly complicated life. To make matters worse, my visiting teacher (I only had one at the time) had just moved and I hadn’t been given a new one yet. Then a knock came at my door and three women stood there. They were the women I was assigned to as a visiting teacher. They had heard of my plight and on discovering I had no visiting teacher, they had decided to turn tables and be my visiting teachers for the last month I would be living there. They had already set up transportation for my children so they could get to their meetings and activities and found child care for me while I was out of town. When I returned to retrieve my children, dinner was waiting for me and someone had even given the children their allowances since I was gone on allowance day!  Visiting teaching builds a web of friendships that can be a lifesaver, sometimes literally, since an elderly woman living alone will have someone checking on her regularly.

Each Relief Society has a compassionate service leader. This woman oversees all the service needs for the women—and sometimes the men—in the congregation. If the visiting teachers become aware of a need that is too big for them to handle alone, they pass the information on to the compassionate service leader to handle. That leader will ask for volunteers to step in and help out. Typical service includes bringing in meals to families that are sick or grieving, cleaning homes when a family is moving out, picking up children in an emergency, checking on an elderly person daily, and taking people to doctor appointments.

Next week we’ll look at how Relief Society impacts the Mormon view of womanhood.

Terrie Lynn Bittner

The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.

Lessons on Faith.
Women of the Relief Society are extraordinary women of faith. I’ve heard the women of the Relief Society described as extraordinary women. Not perfect, but extraordinary! I like that description. Let me rephrase that – I love that description. The history of the Relief Society is a testament to the incredible faith of the women of the Church.

Last year, our family got to spend a couple of days in Nauvoo. There is a special feeling of peace and tranquility about Nauvoo. There is something about Nauvoo that touches the heart and soul.

During our last evening there, all five of us, my husband and I and our three sons, walked the Trail of Tears or the Trail of Hope as it has been renamed. We followed it all the way down to the banks of the Mississippi River. This was the same path that the Saints of Nauvoo walked during those last days when they had to leave Nauvoo to make yet another start somewhere else. We know that eventually some of them arrived in Salt Lake City. We also know that many that left Nauvoo perished along the way.

As we walked, I saw in my mind’s eye the hundreds of mothers that walked down that road in those days. I could almost feel the fear they must have felt. I imagined the many concerns they must have known as they loaded those wagons with the few belongings that they were able to take with them. Their minds must have been swirling with so many unanswered questions; “What if my child gets sick, what will we eat when the small supply we have runs out, where will we live?”

In my mother heart, I know these mothers must have been frightened and scared for their families. I’m sure they shed tears, buckets and buckets of tears. Yet, even with all their fears and weaknesses, their faith in the Lord was stronger. Even with the regret they must have felt at leaving yet another home, they walked, step by agonizing step, because that was what their Lord required of them. These were ordinary women with very real concerns and weaknesses. Yet, their faith and obedience to the Lord makes them extraordinary women in my eyes. My faith is strengthened when I remember these sisters of the Relief Society.

Lessons on Motherhood
Sis. Sheri Dew, former counselor in the Relief Society general presidency asked, “Are we not all mothers?’’ Sis. Dew reminded all of us, whether we’ve conceived and borne children or not, that we are all mothers. She said,

As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we have always been mothers. And we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation. How will our young women learn to live as women of God unless they see what women of God look like, meaning what we wear, watch, and read; how we fill our time and our minds; how we face temptation and uncertainty; where we find true joy; and why modesty and femininity are hallmarks of righteous women? How will our young men learn to value women of God if we don’t show them the virtue of our virtues?

My mother is my greatest role model when it comes to motherhood. But there were many other mother figures in my life, women of the Relief Society who also taught me through their examples and love.

Much of my young life was spent in the small village of Vaiola on the island of Savaii in Samoa. This village, Vaiola, is one of three places that were settled by members of the Church in Samoa. Growing up in a small village on a tropical island was ideal in many respects. As children, the whole village was our playground. We could go anywhere in the village and know that we were safe. We were watched over and fed by other village families as if we were one of their own. Meals usually weren’t much and they were never fancy but we were always welcomed to whatever was available. As ideal as this life sounds, it also had many hardships. People lived pretty much off the land which meant they raised and grew everything they needed. Roads were unpaved, and electricity had yet to come to that part of the island. Washing machines, dryers, and electric irons were luxuries that many villagers had heard about, but had never seen. At least, not then.

As a young girl, I observed the women of Vaiola on Saturdays, hand-washing piles and piles of clothes. Next, the clothes would be hung up to dry. Finally, those that would be worn to Church the next day were separated and ironed. Now when I say ironed, most of us think about the electric iron we have sitting in the closet. This was not the iron the women of Vaiola used in those days. Instead, they used the precursor to the electric iron – the coal iron. First, the charcoal had to be lit until it was red hot, then the charcoal was carefully loaded into the iron and finally, the ironing could begin. One had to work quickly before the charcoal burnt out completely.

So what lessons about motherhood did I learn from these mothers? Other than being grateful for electric irons, what else did these women teach me about motherhood? They taught me that the care that we take in our dress and appearance is an outward expression of the respect and love for the Lord. Their preparations for the Sabbath left a lasting impression on me. I’m sure they’d rather have taken it easy on Saturdays. Instead, they washed, ironed, and made sure our clothing was not only modest but neat. Their preparations on Saturday left no doubt in my mind that Sunday was special. Their examples taught me at an early age that the Savior that we worship and remember was worthy of our highest respect and devotion.

Motherhood comes with many blessings and responsibilities. One of the greatest responsibilities that we have is to be an example to all of God’s children. The women of my youth taught me that as women, we really are mothers to all. These women of Vaiola helped to teach and lead a rising generation.

Lessons about Sisterhood.
This one word represents the very best of Relief Society. To me, a sisterhood evokes a group of sisters that stand for common ideals and beliefs. A sisterhood cares, values, and needs the contribution of each individual. The term sisterhood evokes love and charity. It evokes acceptance not judgment. It evokes patience and unselfishness. In a true sisterhood, each sister is important and a necessary part of the whole. Each sister is both a giver and a receiver. A sisterhood shares commonalities but each sister is also recognized for her own unique talent, personality, and challenges. A sisterhood is one that values both our similarities and our differences.

As sisters in the Relief Society, we have many common goals. The Relief Society declaration and Relief Society objectives lists some of the goals. If I were to combine all those goals in one statement, I’d say that our common goal in Relief Society is to empower each sister, no matter where she is in her own individual journey, so that she can become the woman God meant for her to be.

During this last General Conference, a number of talks touched on diversity and differences. One of my favorite quotes on this subject comes from Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. He said;

The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world. Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony. All of Heavenly Father’s children are different in some degree, yet each has his own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the whole.
This variety of creation itself is a testament of how the Lord values all His children.

Isn’t that a beautiful quote? We are all a little different, yet each of us is special and adds to the richness and the beauty of the whole. We are all different but we are united in our love of the Savior, our love for the individual, and our love for families. The fact that the Relief Society can bring together so many women of such diverse backgrounds, talents, and personalities speaks to the wonderful spirit of sisterhood that exists in this wonderful organization.

Moira T