Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful.

The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process (James E. Faust, “The Refiner’s Fire,” April 1979).

Adversity is a given in life. We will all experience it. It is for this very reason that we are here in this mortal journey – to prove ourselves through our trials and tribulations. During times of adversity, some choose to abandon faith in the Lord. Others choose to remain steadfast and true. They choose to hold fast to their faith and continue to serve the Lord and their fellowmen.

Service is a big part of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We may be asked to teach Sunday school, conduct music, teach small children, lead the congregation, teach early morning seminary, or to help with the Sunday bulletin. It really doesn’t matter where in the Church we’re asked to serve. What matters is that we serve to the best of our abilities. What matters is that we use the talents the Lord has blessed us with to serve Him and our fellowmen in whatever capacity we’re asked to serve.

I’ve seen and felt the hand of adversity this year. I’ve also witnessed an outpouring of blessings through the selfless service of others.

Yesterday, I was released as the Relief Society (women’s organization of the Church) president in our ward (local Church unit). This means that as of yesterday, I’m no longer the Relief Society president for our ward. A release from a calling in the Church usually comes about when one is being called to serve somewhere else, is moving out of the ward, when personal or family circumstances change, or it might simply be time to give someone else an opportunity to serve in that position. We’re moving back to the West Coast in a week!

As the Relief Society president, I came to love each of the women in the ward. However, there is a special place in my heart for those sisters who experienced great adversity over the past year. Some sisters have serious health-related challenges. Others are struggling financially. There are problems in marriages and other family relationships. The list goes on. Each is dealing with trials and adversity in her own way. With faith in the Lord and with help from her sisters in the Relief Society, each sister continues to move forward, one step at a time.

Sometimes, serving and helping someone else does require a lot from us, but I’ve found that these times are very rare. Most times, it’s the small and sincere acts of love that go a long way in easing someone else’s load. Often times, it doesn’t cost us anything except an hour or two of our time. At times, a smile, a kind word, and a true friend is all that is needed. Someone who will listen and not judge. Someone who understands, who cares, who looks past the shortcomings to the person inside. Someone who is willing to share another’s burden, even if it is just for a few minutes.

Alma, a prophet of The Book of Mormon, taught us that to become true disciples of Jesus Christ, we must be willing to bear one another’s burdens.

And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

 

Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life (Mosiah 18:8-9).

A wonderful thing happens when we strive to serve and help others during their trials – we forget to dwell on our challenges. Our problems may not disappear completely but somehow our perspective changes. What once seemed insurmountable is not quite so overwhelming. We stop feeling sorry for ourselves.

I’m filled with gratitude for the examples of these sisters. Despite personal trials, these sisters chose to serve and help someone else. They remind me on a constant basis that each of us is our sister’s keeper. We are indeed our brothers’ keepers!

Selfless service is a wonderful antidote to the ills that flow from the worldwide epidemic of self-indulgence. Some grow bitter or anxious when it seems that not enough attention is being paid to them, when their lives would be so enriched if only they paid more attention to the needs of others.

 

The answer lies in helping to solve the problems of those around us rather than worrying about our own, living to lift burdens even when we ourselves feel weighed down, putting our shoulder to the wheel instead of complaining that the wagons of life seem to be passing us by.

 

Stretching our souls in service helps us to rise above our cares, concerns, and challenges. As we focus our energies on lifting the burdens of others, something miraculous happens. Our own burdens diminish. We become happier. There is more substance to our lives.
(David S. Baxter, “Faith, Service, Constancy,” October 2006).

This post was originally published in May 2008. Minor changes have been made.

Moira T

Heber J. Grant was born in 1856. His father died when he was a baby and he was raised by his widowed mother. He experienced great poverty throughout his childhood as his mother worked late into the night earning a small living as a seamstress. He would later, as the Mormon prophet, develop the modern Mormon welfare program that has provided for the essential needs of many people since the 1930s.

There was no real money for luxuries in Heber’s childhood home. His coat was thin and worn and he was often very cold. He longed for a coat for his birthday, but didn’t dare ask for one, knowing there would be no money for it and not wanting to hurt his mother by making her aware of his discomfort.

He was surprised when his mother presented him with a beautiful and very warm red coat on his birthday. She had worked even longer hours than usual to sew it for him. He thanked her and rushed outside to play, eager to experience the warmth of his new coat.

A few weeks later, he was running an errand in his new coat when he saw a small boy huddled near a grate, wearing only a sweater and trying desperately to keep warm. Heber J. Grant knew just how cold the child was and recognized that the child must be very poor. He promptly took off his coat and presented it to the child as a gift. He went home and put his old coat back on. When his mother saw him wearing it she asked where his new coat was. He confessed that he had given it away to a poor child who was very cold and needed it more than he did.

His mother asked him if he couldn’t have given the child his old coat instead. Then she looked into his tear-filled eyes and said, “Of course, you couldn’t,” and hugged him, proud of his sacrifice.

Laraine Moon of Bountiful, Utah saw a children’s video about this incident. The story touched her and she vowed to find ways to help others in the same unselfish way Heber J. Grant did. Soon after, she was asked to be in charge of an annual camp for teenage girls. During the kickoff planning meeting with the teens who would plan and run the camp under her direction, she showed the video. The girls were also moved by his unselfishness and chose to develop a coat project as their camp service. They publicized the event and then went door to door collecting used coats. One of their collection days was very cold and rainy, reminding them of the need for the coats.

In the end, they were able to collect hundreds of coats, which they delivered to homeless shelters for distribution to those who would otherwise spend the hard Utah winters cold.

Watch the video of the project:

Terrie Lynn Bittner

The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.

Staying safe is a matter of choices, and to make wise choices, we have to understand the concept of agency. This article will focus on agency, and future articles in this series will walk through the process of using that understanding to make eternally safe choices.

Agency is the right to choose. It is not the right to do anything we want without consequences, however. With every choice comes consequences, and those consequences are beyond our control. We can’t choose how the choices impact us, or their impact on others. Because of this, agency must be accompanied by responsibility.

Satan can’t take our agency from us, but he can encourage us to give up our agency or to weaken our ability to use it well. When we allow someone or something  else to do our thinking for us, when we choose to partake of an activity or substance that dulls our judgment, such as hypnotism, alcohol, or drugs, we are making it harder for the Spirit to reach us, and weakening our ability to choose for ourselves. We’ve chosen to participate in something that is designed to allow others to control us. While we might still break through and avoid doing wrong, we are less inclined to do so because we are not able to have the spirit to guide us. The Holy Ghost cannot be where sin is. This choice to allow another person or substance to control us puts us in danger.

We can also weaken our ability to use our agency wisely when we begin to put too much faith in something or someone other than God. Do we, without prayer, follow the advice of a friend, a popular student, a celebrity, a self-help guru, a club, or a political party, even when their teachings conflict with those of the living prophets? If so, we’re handing over our agency to another, who may not have our best interests at heart, or who may not know eternal truths. When we listen to the counsel of another that conflicts with the teachings of God, we’ve decided this person knows better than God what is right and true, and that we ourselves know someone better than God to trust. This weakens our ability to hear the Spirit, who never yells, but who speaks quietly to those who trust Him.

The ability to listen to the spirit is critical to the wise use of agency. None of us is wise enough to know what is right or wrong on our own. We need the promptings of the spirit to guide us through the many choices offered us every day. The adversary is very smart and is an expert at manipulation. He can take a truth and present it half-way, and so skillfully the twisted version sounds reasonable. Assurances that we are safe, we won’t lose control, or we won’t get hurt can fill our minds and block the gentle reminders of the spirit.

Study the ways Satan uses to manipulate us into following his guidance or giving him our agency as a gift. Pay attention and listen with the spirit, not your emotions, to times when you see others are trying to influence you. What tactics are they using? Why are they using them? What will happen if you fall for the tactics? Are the teachings and arguments in line with the teachings of the gospel?

The only sure way to know how to use your agency well is to pray. A person who is considering becoming a Mormon is assigned by the missionaries to ask God before making their decision. Those born to LDS parents are taught from early childhood to also pray and make their decision based on the advice of the Holy Ghost. Only God can be trusted to give us wise advice for the use of our agency, and it’s critical that we ask Him if He’s there and if we have found His church. It’s important to know how He is communicating with us. In the Bible, we see that God communicated with man through prophets as well as through the spirit. Today, we are again guided by prophets, but we can’t be guided until we know for ourselves there really is a prophet and are able to identify him. We must also learn to recognize what it is like to receive personal revelation from God, so we can trust the answers He gives us.

Agency is a wonderful gift, but it has extraordinary power for both good and evil, depending on how we choose to use it and who we listen to when making our choices.

Robert D. Hales, a high-ranking church official, said,

Agency allows us to be tested and tried to see whether or not we will endure to the end and return to our Heavenly Father with honor. Agency is the catalyst that leads us to express our inward spiritual desires in outward Christlike behavior. Agency permits us to make faithful, obedient choices that strengthen us so that we can lift and strengthen others. Agency used righteously allows light to dispel the darkness and enables us to live with joy and happiness in the present, look with faith to the future, even into the eternities, and not dwell on the things of the past. Our use of agency determines who we are and what we will be. To all who desire to enjoy the supernal blessings of agency, I testify that agency is strengthened by our faith and obedience. Agency leads us to act: to seek that we may find, to ask that we may receive guidance from the Spirit, to knock on that door that leads to spiritual light and ultimately salvation.

(See Robert D. Hales, “To Act for Ourselves: The Gift and Blessings of Agency,” Ensign, May 2006, 4–8.)

Pay special attention to this sentence from his thoughts:

“Our use of agency determines who we are and what we will be.”

This is why the subject of agency matters and why we must devote a great deal of time learning to use it well.

Terrie Lynn Bittner

The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.