“For there is a time appointed for every man, according as his works shall be.” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:25)

 

“Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.” (Doctrine and Covenants 122:9)

 

“And it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them.” (Doctrine and Covenants 42:46)

My faith came to a head recently as our family faced the mortality of our dad as he fought for his life.

Testing Positive for COVID-19

My parents are Darrell and Darla Bushman. Our family’s COVID-19 story started when someone unknowingly becoming infected and unintentionally infected others. Sounds pretty typical, right?

Little Brooke caught the virus from a SPED classmate who attended school on Friday. Before her family was notified of the exposure, our family had a Sunday night family dinner because nearly all of my parents’ family was in Utah that weekend. We were only missing two sons-in-law working in other states and a granddaughter at college.

Mom sat by Brooke on the couch with grandmotherly care and attention. Brooke seemed extra tired and uninterested in her surroundings. When the gathering was over, Dannen lifted Brooke into the car, the Holy Ghost whispered to him that she was COVID-19 positive.

The next morning, Monday morning, the school called their family and confirmed her classmate had tested positive. Dannen and Claudia loaded up their whole family and went to get tested.

On Tuesday, they learned that almost everyone in their family tested positive for COVID-19. They immediately messaged the extended family the results. Only Dannen really experienced symptoms. The rest were positive and asymptomatic aside from some tasteless/smell-less symptoms.

On Wednesday, Mom began experiencing symptoms. Dad drove her to get tested that morning. On Thursday, her test results confirmed she has COVID-19.

On Thursday, Dad began feeling symptoms. He didn’t see any need to get tested since the dominoes were falling that direction.

On Friday evening, I began feeling symptoms. I’d planned to stay with Mom and Dad for just over two weeks sandwiched between a move from Hawaii to Texas. By this time, my husband had been in Texas for a month.

A few other family members had cold or flu-like symptoms and got tested for coronavirus but no one else in our family gathering tested positive for COVID-19. The only two people in our entire family who I worried about being adversely affected by COVID-19 both tested positive. The grandchild who caught the virus from a classmate has underlying medical conditions. The other person I worried about was Dad. He was in the highest mortality underlying condition category — age, type 2 diabetes, etc.

Our cousins’ uncle (who was in dad’s demographic) contracted the virus on a Saturday and was dead on Wednesday. Others we knew were sharing harrowing and fatal experiences with COVID-19. I began watching both parents with hypervigilance.

A Blessing with Promise

General Conference began on Saturday on the first weekend of October. Mom, Dad, and I lounged in the living room with fuzzy blankets and liquids for two days watching conference.

Saturday night, I felt fear for the first time when Dad stood up to walk from his chair to the bed and lost all his muscle strength. Mom and I helped him to bed and then I texted my brothers Donovan and Daylen to see if they could give Dad a priesthood blessing. While I waited for them to come to the house, my mind ran the gamut of emotions and expectations.

In the back of my mind, I expected COVID-19 to kill my dad. I knew Dad had lived a full and good life, a life made better and whole through the grace of Jesus Christ. I knew he’d lived longer than many beloved men in our family.

I knew that I believed the scriptures quoted above. I knew the Lord knows the details of our lives and when those lives are finished.

I realized that I’d asked my brothers to give Dad a blessing so I could hear the will of the Lord outside of my own chaotic emotions and desires.

A few minutes before I expected them to arrive, I told Dad what I had done to make sure that was okay with him. He said he would like a priesthood blessing.

Despite the peril of walking into Coronaville, my brothers came. They were masked up, concerned, and ready to serve. They gave dad a powerful priesthood blessing which I felt prompted to record. The blessing promised that Dad could be completely healed and said that Dad had not finished his work on Earth.

I totally believed the words of that blessing and expected Dad to begin recovering. I played the blessing for Dad a couple of times during hard days to remind him of the Lord’s promises to him.

Navigating COVID-19 Symptoms

Dad lounging in bed

Our common symptom was fatigue. The virus seriously knocked us flat energy-wise. Then Mom began bouncing back. Dad didn’t. In all fairness, Mom is the healthiest person in our family and the person I least expected to have long-term impacts (though when I first heard she had the virus, my heart dropped because I knew this deadly virus had taken so many healthy lives).

Dad began spending his days lying in bed trying to deal with severe COVID-19 symptoms. At one point he said he could feel where every bone in his body connected to another bone. We reasoned Dad was a day or so behind mom and he would back bounce more slowly. But eventually, we had to admit he wasn’t bouncing back at all. He was declining rapidly.

My sister Destinee had coworkers who kept insisting we get an oximeter to test everyone’s oxygen saturation. I had one on my phone so checked our levels regularly. I honestly didn’t know how accurate it was but since our levels were in the high 90s, we felt that was fine.

Eight days into dad’s coronavirus experience, on Friday, Destinee messaged us asking if we’d gotten an oximeter yet. We hadn’t. When I tried to check dad’s levels on my phone, I really had to struggle to keep his finger over the sensor. When we finally got a reading, his oxygen saturation level had dropped below 90. Mom’s was 97. Mine was 96. Dad’s was 88.

Around that same time, Claudia messaged to see if we needed anything. I asked if she could buy an oximeter and bring it to us. She did.

We tested Dad. Testing on the oximeter was way easier than on my phone. By then he was at 84. Mom and I were basically the same as my phone’s reading; it was a relief to me to know I hadn’t been deceived.

But Dad… Dad’s reading dropped again. The oximeter read “82.”

Mom and I talked as we looked at Dad on his bed. He’d been largely unresponsive. We knew we needed to take him to the emergency room.

The Emergency Room

I pulled the car sideways on the driveway for easier access. Mom got Dad into some comfy pajama bottoms. We tried to get slippers on his feet but finally gave up and told him to walk barefoot to the car. Then we spent the next 10 minutes on the usually 20-second journey from his bedroom to the driveway.

Dad kept becoming unresponsive as he walked. It was like he’d black out on his feet! He would take a couple of steps and then just become blank. I’d speak loudly and say, “OK, Dad, on three, we’re going to take a few more steps.” “OK, Dad, on three.” “OK, Dad, on three.”

My own COVID-19 body imploded with exhaustion. Mom was straining, too. “OK, Dad, on three.” “Good job. Two more steps.” “OK, Dad, on three.”

And then he crumpled into the passenger seat. Mom got him situated. I ran into the house to shut doors and turn off lights.

And away we went to the hospital. We hadn’t taken a moment to text the family what was happening. Less than a minute into our drive, my nephew Austin called his grandma to see how she and Grandpa were doing. She unloaded the news on him. He told his parents and the messages sprang into action. That was such a tender mercy for us to have Austin’s call at that moment.

We quickly arrived at the hospital (it’s not far from my parents’ home). We talked out a plan as we drove into the ER area. Mom jumped out immediately when I stopped. I unbuckled Dad and asked how he was. He made some wry comments. I told him I loved him.

Mom came out with a wheelchair. That surprised me. Where was the flurry of medical help? We got Dad into the wheelchair and mom wheeled him into the hospital to triage.

Waiting all alone at the ER

I parked and then went into the empty hospital lobby waiting area. I could see through the doors to where Mom spoke to triage and Dad sat in the chair. He looked so stony. He didn’t move at all.

I didn’t know what to expect, but Mom went with Dad back to a room. I was surprised. I still sat all alone and picked up the messaging thread to update everyone.

I looked up to see a nurse striding quickly to me. She said I couldn’t stay. They would let Mom stay with Dad, but I couldn’t stay. I drove back home.

I sat on the couch and cried. In my mind, Dad going to the hospital was a death sentence. I listened to dad’s blessing again. It rejuvenated my faith. I got up and started cleaning Mom and Dad’s bathroom to keep my mind busy.

A few hours after dropping Dad off at the ER, Mom called and said they were ready for pickup. At that point, doctors said his lungs had a little fluid but not COVID pneumonia. Dad came home with an oxygen tank, which was a new experience for the three of us. The nurse gave me a quick oxygen tank lesson as Dad got back in the car.

Dad was significantly improved! He walked by himself into the house. What a testament to oxygen’s impact on our bodies.

Trying to Manage COVID-19 Again from Home

The nurse told mom to call the oxygen company, which she called immediately. The employees are on-call, especially late on Friday nights. Mom and Dad were both trashed and it was so late, so I told them to go to bed and I’d wake them up when the oxygen guy arrived. I fell asleep while waiting on the couch. I’m half-deaf, so I worry about hearing things if I fall asleep.

Luckily, I jerked awake at the sound of the doorbell and ran to open the door. It was the oxygen guy. He asked if any of us had been exposed to the coronavirus and I was, like, “Um, yeah, we all have it.” He said every call he’d done that day had been to homes with COVID-19.

I woke up Mom and Dad and we put masks on and oxygen man gave us serious lessons on oxygen. We filled out tons of paperwork. He was there for almost two hours! But when he left, Dad had an oxygen machine and really long tubes so he could move around the house without a tank.

The ER doctor’s orders said to have Dad on 2 liters per minute (lpm). So we did and were super proud of that. Then suddenly, I felt a prompting to check dad’s oxygen saturation level. It was 82 on 2 lpm! Yikes!

Mom called the ER to see what we should do. They gave us better instructions about moving the oxygen amount as needed, up to 4 lpm. Dad’s saturation stabilized above 90 at 3.5 lpm and we all went to sleep.

Dad’s signature wave

Dad spent Saturday in bed. My brother set him up with access to watch the BYU football game and Dad watched football on a laptop in bed. He seemed to be improving.

He made a joke about living as long as the peach leaves stayed on the tree right outside his bedroom window, specifically one peach leaf. We said we’d paint a leaf on the window like in that sob story video “The Last Leaf.”

Dad is uber extroverted. Being stuck in any box for 10 days is excruciating for him. I messaged an invite for my siblings to come to say hi at his window. We bundled up the bed since it was a little chilly out and his kids and grandkids started visiting the window. Having eight kids means that even if visits are short, there are still a lot of them.

My siblings kept their visits short and usually, there were some good time gaps between them. Dad remained horizontal and not expected to entertain or do anything at all except give his characteristic wave, which is to hold his arm up with his hand flopped over.

Watching the window parade, I realized that Dad going to the ER similarly impacted my siblings, too.

The Emergency Room Part 2

Dannen and Claudia’s family were the last to visit late in the afternoon. Dad got out of bed to use the bathroom. Bathroom breaks were generally quite exhausting. When he didn’t come out as soon as expected, I volunteered Dannen to go see if Dad needed help. He helped dad get back in bed.

We checked the oximeter and dad’s oxygen was in the low 80s again. We waited to see if being in bed would help him recover, but it didn’t. We upped the oxygen to 4. Dad’s lungs didn’t respond to that. I pushed it to the machine’s limit at 5 but it didn’t increase Dad’s saturation.

We knew we had to take him to the ER again. Dad didn’t argue when we told him that news. Claudia loaded up their kids. Dannen helped me and Mom load up dad in the car. He rode with us to the hospital while Claudia closed up the house.

Again Mom ran into the hospital. This time a wheelchair came much more quickly. We got Dad and his oxygen tank out and Mom whisked him away to triage. I told Dad I loved him before he got out of the car.

When I parked the car, I realized I had forgotten to put shoes on. I knew the hospital staff wouldn’t let me in the hospital anyway, so stood barefoot peering through a window with Dannen. Claudia and her kids arrived. She messaged the family about what was happening.

Suddenly Mom came out and said they wouldn’t let her stay with Dad. What? We couldn’t believe it. Dannen went in to see if he could persuade them. Apparently letting Mom stay before was against policy and the Sunday night staff were in no mood to break policy.

We were totally blindsided as we suddenly realized we’d just dropped Dad off completely alone. We freaked out. We couldn’t drive away. We just stood at the ER door in disbelief. Cutting Dad off from people/his family/especially mom is torture.

Finally, probably since there were kiddos waiting patiently in a vehicle, we knew there wasn’t anything left to do. We went home.

The Transfer to the Veterans Hospital and COVID-19 Pneumonia

Dad being loaded into the ambulance

After an hour or so, the ER called Mom saying that Dad was being transferred to the Veterans Hospital in Salt Lake City by ambulance. That’s about an hour drive. Mom and I drove back to the hospital to give Dad their shared cell phone so Dad would have access to call. A nurse met mom to get the phone.

While driving out of the parking lot, we saw an ambulance driving in and knew it was for Dad, so I flipped a U-turn and parked where we could see the ambulance entrance. It felt like forever but suddenly the ambulance drivers emerged suited up for COVID-19. What a sight to see! Then they wheeled Dad out on a gurney and put him in the ambulance, and then they calmly drove away with our dad.

With no other recourse available, I posted my first social media post asking for prayers for Dad.

Since Dad now had Mom’s cell phone in Salt Lake City, my phone became the connection source to Dad and the hospital. My phone rang at 1:30 a.m. that first night with the first nurse check-in. I ran upstairs and woke up Mom so she could talk to the nurse. The VA hospital admitted Dad to a regular room, but because he had COVID-19 no one would be able to visit him. We were grateful for the check-in.

The Veterans Hospital staff were amazing at keeping us informed and answering questions. We appreciated all of their collective help at helping us understand the hopes and reality of Dad’s situation.

Dad’s Visitor Before ICU

On Monday morning, Dad told us he had a dream where his dad came to him. Dad said seeing his father was really comforting. Mom and I cried because we felt like that was a direct answer to our prayers that Dad wouldn’t feel or be alone. We also didn’t know if that was just a comforting moment or an omen that Grandpa was coming for Dad.

On Tuesday, a doctor called to tell us Dad was being moved to ICU because he did have COVID-19 pneumonia that was destabilizing his lungs. What a blow. We couldn’t believe it. ICU.

I think most of us thought ICU was a death sentence for Dad… But he didn’t die.

Our faith, hope, and prayers for Dad’s complete recovery continued despite the fact that we didn’t know what Dad needed to do to complete his work on the earth. We didn’t have any indication if his work would take a few days or years to complete.

The next day, a doctor called to let us know of Dad’s continual decline and his potential need to be on a ventilator. He talked to mom about medical power of attorney. He said Dad’s will was to be resuscitated as necessary and to fight for his life. We readily agreed with that.

Ventilator. The ventilator represented my deepest fear for Dad.

A Divine Hand During the Most Desperate Decline

That was the night I completely surrendered my will to God. I’d clung to the blessing promising complete healing, but I knew I had to let it go and place all my faith in the hands of God, regardless of what resulted. All.

Hundreds of friends and family were praying for Dad. I felt the power of their prayers sustaining us. It was so tangible. Mom and I were still kind of fragile ourselves and I felt strengthened from the sheer volume of support. What a blessed miracle!

I knelt in prayer thanking Heavenly Father for the prayers and positive vibes for Dad. I told Him the same thing I had prayed before — I knew Dad had lived a full and good life, a life made better and whole through the grace of Jesus Christ. I knew he’d lived longer than many beloved men in our family. I knew that I believed the scriptures quoted above. I knew the Lord knew the details of our lives and when those lives are finished. And I offered the clinging, afraid of loss, clutching-at-air part of myself to Him.

At that moment, He gave me a gift. In a very tangible way, I saw something in my mind’s eye that absolutely concreted my assurance in Dad’s recovery. I knew that with the Lord’s help, Dad would recover. I texted my family in the middle of the night of my experience.

The next day, Dad’s first day on the ventilator, the nurse exuberantly told mom, “He’s sitting up in his chair!” Through the nurse, Dad communicated to mom with the nurse asking questions and Dad communicating through shrugs and eye gestures. Then the nurse put the phone next to Dad, who couldn’t talk, but just listened, and Mom talked into space for an hour.

We rejoiced! That defied all of the odds. And Dad continued to improve — some days more than others — until on October 27th, a doctor asked mom when she could be in Salt Lake City to pick up Dad from the Veterans Hospital! She said she would leave right that minute. The doctor chuckled and said to give them an hour or so and they planned a time.

Picking Up Dad from the VA Hospital

Dad being discharged from the VA Hospital

Mom drove us to the VA hospital in record time. Destinee came over from her lab a few blocks away. We three waited for Dad together.

We saw some nurses wheeling someone in a wheelchair. Was that Dad? No, it couldn’t be. The man was so frail and hunched. Our dad filled the room when he entered it.

But it was Dad! We rushed to him. His eyes followed us but he didn’t physically react at all. One nurse gave mom and Destinee loads of instructions while the other nurse helped me load all of Dad’s new gear in the car.

Then we moved Dad from the wheelchair into the car and got the oxygen tank reconnected in the back seat. The nurse spoke to Dad in Spanish. Apparently, he’d served a mission in Chile too. Of course, Dad loved that.

We buckled Dad in, said goodbye to Destinee, and Mom drove off with her BFF at her side, so happy and glowing to have him back. Dad’s vitality increased as the realization that he was actually going home became more and more of a reality.

Recovering From COVID-19

Dad’s recovery plan

Dad promised Mom he would recover and he’s challenged himself to overcome the obstacles he still faces. He’s working hard to make that happen. And it is happening, step by step and day by day.

There are several things we attribute to Dad’s steady progress.

• It was God’s will that Dad lives and finish his work on the earth.
• A multitude of prayers petitioned God for recovery and enabled divine assistance to prevail.
• Dad’s ward fasted and prayed for his recovery. That act of love brings Dad to tears every time he speaks of it.
• Dad’s siblings/in-laws sent encouraging and heartfelt messages. Mom and I read them all to Dad to help him not feel alone. They buoyed his soul during the especially trying times.
• Dad talked or listened to Mom every day. He needed that connection to her.
• Knowing that he was so loved and prayed for gave Dad the desire and strength to fight for survival. We are all so grateful for the outpouring of love, faith, and prayers.

“To Give You An Expected End”

During this same time frame, many friends and loved ones said goodbye to people they most love. Every day I deeply felt the juxtaposition of Dad’s life and other loved ones’ deaths.

To read more of Delisa’s articles, click here.

The Lord’s words to Jeremiah encapsulated what I learned from the Spirit as I floundered between joy and grief during those days… and still.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

For He does know us and part of His eternal plan for our salvation includes mortality, a mortality of varying times and seasons. Our days are known and numbered to Him and when it’s our appointed time, He brings us home — home to Him. Home to the arms of His love and to the peace of His glory. Home.

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.

We enjoyed going biking as a family but didn’t fully embrace it as a regular activity until the stay-at-home order made cycling one of our only outdoor activity options. Riding bikes together became a great way to get out of the house and breathe some fresh air.

Anthony began riding multiple times a day and almost always took his buddy Stig. I generally joined them on the evening ride after I finished working.

Anthony logged hundreds of miles on that little trailer. He kept tweaking it and trying different things to help with the aerodynamics of it, because pulling an actively-moving, 55-pound creature adds a lot of resistance.

We typically strap Stig in and ride out of our complex and then stop. Stig gets out of the trailer to do his business and then “runs” for as long as he can. Sometimes it’s more of a meander until we’re done with his slowness and put him back in the trailer. Often, he runs for a half-mile or more down the sidewalk. He’s even run for a mile full tilt! That’s an incredible sight to see.

After we determine that Stig’s gotten enough exercise to sleep for another day while I work from home, we clip him back into the trailer and then ride for several more miles before heading home.

When he’s fully energetic and engaged, Stig stands on the bar between the trailer and the bike, reaching as far as the leash will let him. Stig prefers to be in front, so he rides as far forward as possible. Sometimes he’ll back into the back fabric of the trailer and “sit down” to rest (not a full sit, but a resting, ready-to-jump-back-into-action-at-any-moment lounge).

Stig’s balance is exceptional. Some of the pathways we’ve ridden are very bumpy. He moves and adjusts like a champ.

Catapulted Out of the Trailer

One evening, just like most others, we rode the bike path alongside a major thoroughfare in our town. As we approached the next intersection, the light was in our favor. Anthony punched it and tried to make the light like we always do.

The purple arrow indicates our journey. The orange dot is where Stig catapulted out of the trailer.

Cement flanks the crosswalk at segments across the street at this school intersection. It’s also curved in sections. Anthony entered the crosswalk. When he veered left, the right trailer wheel bounced off the far curb. And something happened that had never happened before: the trailer tipped over!

Stig, who had been partially standing on the bar between the bike and the trailer on the left side, flipped out of the trailer as it tipped over and rolled onto the sidewalk until the leash caught and abruptly stopped his trajectory. I shouted for Anthony to stop. At that moment, he’d felt the jostling and was slowing down, but didn’t realize he’d lost the dog.

Stig immediately righted himself and darted back to the trailer. But by the time I got my kickstand down, he was ready to board his chariot again after we untangled him from the leash! I couldn’t believe it!

By this time, we’d missed the light and I pulled my bike into the section of the crosswalk with them. I got Stig’s water to give him a drink. He lapped it up. We inspected his sturdy body and saw one little section of road rash on one leg and paw. But overall, his hair provided great road rash protection.

Stig started nagging to let us know he was ready to go and when the light turned green, off we went again. Stig never indicated any residual impact of the spill — no limping, no favoring, no whimpering, no fear, nothing. He was thrown out of the trailer, he righted himself, and he got back on. End of story.

I’ve watched that dramatic tumble a hundred times on replay in my mind. It was so startling — the fact that it happened and Stig’s response.

I’ve tumbled out of life’s trailer more than once. I wish I could say I always reacted like Stig did — fall out, right myself, and get back on, end of story — but I haven’t. Stig trusted us. He didn’t blame us (except when he thought we were taking too long to get going again). He resumed his position and enjoyed the rest of the ride. And he was ready to go again at the next opportunity.

That is my wish for all of us. When we’re catapulted out of our trailers, I hope we can quickly find our footing and climb back on again, without blame, and trusting in the journey.

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.

I’ve always trusted the Lord had a plan for me and my life. Especially when my life started looking different than my friends’ lives, I turned to the Lord declaring that I trusted Him and His plan for me. That didn’t mean I always liked it, but if the whole purpose of life is to work out our exaltation through the Savior’s atoning grace, then by golly, I had to trust that the bumps and potholes in my road could really be used to bless my mortal experience.

I get the big life path things. I believe in a strait and narrow way. But what about the small awkward and painful things intended to smooth out rough edges? The end result isn’t as clear. I don’t always understand. Sometimes change is really hard.

Trust the Lord

Laie Hawaii Temple

When I leave the temple in the early afternoon, I have two options to get home. They lead in opposite directions around the island. Barring obstacles, they both take about the same amount of time to reach my house. One includes my favorite ocean and mountain views. I typically drive the other route to the temple, so enjoy when I get my own semi-circle island tour.

Doing one temple session plus the driving usually involves 4-5 hours of my day. It’s vital, indispensable time, but I work full-time so want to return home as expeditiously as possible. So I always check navigation to see if there are any obstacles and regardless of the extra scenic route’s enticing beauty, I almost always choose the fastest route.

Thursday as I checked navigation before driving away from the temple, I noticed both routes had similar estimated times of arrival. I had a big job due later that day and needed to get home and back to work.

I felt nudged to go the extra scenic route. I felt surprised that it mattered. “Trust the Lord” was the response. OK. I’ll trust Him and enjoy my drive!

As I turned onto Kamehameha Highway, I didn’t have anyone in front of me! That’s a miracle. “I TRUST YOU, LORD,” I gleefully shouted in my car.

Putting My Trust to the Test

However, right outside of Laie, I caught up to a vehicle and settled into follower mode. It’s really typical to drive in a line of cars around the island. I enjoyed my few minutes of freedom and expected to leisurely watch the views as I drove home.

Not so. The driver of the Dodge in front me was super distracted. I felt like I saw his face more than the back of his head. His speed varied so drastically that I dared not venture a side glance at the sea or mountains. His driving totally frustrated me.

“Trust the Lord, huh?” OK.

At one point, when he’d gone the same speed for nearly half a mile, I decided to ask the Lord why He nudged me this way if it was going to be so psychologically painful.

The driver turned around again as he reached for something on the back seat floor. His speed immediately dropped from 40 down to 25 mph. I geared up for potential passing lane opportunities. Oncoming traffic prohibited the pass.

“He is so distracted! His driving is erratic and he’s an obstacle for all the other drivers.  Seriously, please help me learn something from this!” I felt the stress of impending deadlines creeping across my shoulders.

A new thought infiltrated the frustration. “Wouldn’t his driving be more efficient if he concentrated solely on the road?”

Yeah. Totally.

“Because he’s distracted, even though he’s on the right path, his journey is haphazard with self-imposed risks, right?”

Yes…

Where was this series of obvious questions going?

The Frustrating, Erratic Driver Was Me!

To read more of Delisa’s articles, click here.

Suddenly a personal commandment received from the Lord came to mind. When the Lord commanded it, I recognized it as an instructive assignment from Him. I hadn’t been told I had to adjust immediately and I didn’t really understand the purpose. So while I started implementing the changes necessary to obey the commandment, I proceeded pretty half-heartedly.

In a flash, I was the Dodge driver proceeding with purpose and intention and then suddenly getting distracted and looking over my shoulder at something behind me, something in the past, something that I clung to unnecessarily. My speed slowed. My steering became erratic. Becoming distracted introduced counterproductive risks and obstacles on my way.

My journey became insecure and tenuous as I kept looking back. My journey became intentional and purposeful as I focused on the path ahead.

“I trust you, Lord.” I got it. I saw it. The imagery seriously clarified my internal struggle.

Thank you, stranger, for being at the right place at the right time for me.

At the moment I understood my application, after 12 excruciatingly painful miles, the road ahead opened up and I passed the man, who I felt grateful for, who expedited such a pivotal lesson.

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.

 Transferring

I described in a previous article how the Spirit told me that I NEEDED to be at SUU. But going to Utah for any reason, aside from visiting relatives, seemed so outside my comfort zone. I had grown up listening to people talk about “Utah Mormons.” For anyone not familiar with that phrase, it typically means being a hypocrite and a Sunday-only kind of member. They talked about how different people from Utah were. I was really sure I would never fit in there, and dreaded relocating.  

I dreaded the move so much that I took an extra year to do it. I became the only non-student RA that Ricks College has ever had. I found a couple jobs, and just goofed around and had fun with my roommates and friends. As I mentioned in the previous article, the Lord had to remove several of those blessings before I could move on. After I finally found the courage, (or more specifically, after the Lord hedged up the way so that I would finally get over myself and do what I knew I needed to do!) I moved to Cedar City, Utah.

Arrival

I will never forget the day I moved in. It was warm and sunny, my roommates were welcoming, and this cute little city in the state that I feared quickly melted my heart. I had no idea that southern Utah was so beautiful! The red rock mountains, and the rivers and hills… I felt so at home there. But the Lord had another surprise waiting.

As I walked around my apartment complex to get familiar with my surroundings, I met a really cool girl named Amy. She was the type of woman that drew people to her. She just radiated confidence and joy and I knew I wanted to be her friend. The crazy thing was that she seemed to know me, and told me that she had been waiting for me. I had no idea what she meant, but loved having my ego boosted.

My Calling

The next Sunday I was called into the Bishop’s office and asked to be the Relief Society first counselor. For those not familiar, in each congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’, every president of each organization will have two counselors and a secretary. It eases burdens because the duties of the presidency are spread across four members instead of being shouldered by just one. But typically if there are missing members in a presidency, they will have a president and a first counselor and secretary. It is rare for that first counselor spot not to be filled.

I soon learned that Amy was the Relief Society president, and that she had tried to find a sister to fill the role of first counselor when she was called four months before. But the Lord kept telling her that her first counselor was coming, and she should be patient. Suddenly what she told me on the sidewalk the day I arrived, that she had been waiting for me, made sense. God had held my calling for me while I sorted out my life and finally found the courage to go where He wanted me to go.

 Finding My Place

I learned SO much serving with Amy and the other girls in that Relief Society presidency. They were such inspiring women to be around. I had rarely met returned sister missionaries before, because back then sisters only served a mission after they turned 21. And at a two-year college, most girls waited till they graduated before going on a mission. So this was a whole new experience for me. I was not quite 21 myself, and after seeing the confidence these ladies had in their ability to serve the Savior, I knew I wanted to serve a mission too.

I remember how often I beat myself up over my failure to leave Ricks College when the Lord told me so firmly that I needed to be at SUU. But after meeting Amy and having such a wonderful experience where the Lord confirmed that He had been waiting for me, I stopped feeling guilty. I realized that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that He has blessings waiting for us at every turn. Sometimes we struggle to make the changes He asks of us. But when we do, He is ready and waiting with more blessings.

Keep Going Forward

I have moved many more times since that fateful move to Utah. I learned that “Utah Mormons” aren’t really a thing. The people who described them to me really hadn’t understood the LDS members in Utah at all. I eventually found my husband in Utah, and fell in love with his whole extended family — all of whom are from Utah.

To read more of Patty’s articles, click here.

I can see now that the Lord wanted to guide and shape my life by encouraging me to move to a new and scary place. And once I got there, there were so many things to love that I never looked back. My life would be so different today without having attended SUU. I am so grateful that the Lord helped me to get there.

What new and scary things are you facing in your life? I assure you that God will give you strength to get over any hurdle, and that He has even more blessings waiting for you on the other side of this trial. One day I hope we can sit down and share stories… I know we will be in awe of all the things that God has going on behind the scenes as He prepares us for our future.

Patty Sampson

Patty thrives on all things creative. You’ll often find her in the garden pretending she is a suburban farmer. She loves meeting new people, and is devoted to her friends and family. In her heart she is a Midwesterner even though life has moved her all over the country. She believes in “blooming where you’re planted” and has found purpose in every place she has been. She has a deep and abiding love for the Savior and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And she loves editing LDS Blogs because it is a constant spiritual uplift. Not many people can say their job builds their witness of the Savior.

I started reflecting on my life, to see if I had a Jonah moment — and I realized I did! However, let’s clarify; I was not swallowed by a whale. Just had to clear that up. My experience was much more like Doctrine & Covenants 121:38, which reads: “Behold, ere he is aware, he is left unto himself, to kick against the pricks . . . and to fight against God.”

My Instructions

When I was in college, there came a time I needed to transfer to complete my four-year degree. I had been attending a two-year school at the encouragement of my uncle who was a professor there. When I talked to the guidance councilor, he suggested a school in Utah (SUU) because it had an excellent program I was considering.

I did not want to go to Utah. Utah had too many members of the Church. It was the last place on Earth I knew my mother would want me to be, and I had many biases that led me to want to be as far from that place as possible. But when the councilor handed me the pamphlet for SUU, a warm feeling I knew as the Spirit of God washed over me. I knew in that moment the Lord wanted me at SUU.

It was an awful moment.

Hiding Out

Much like Jonah, I decided to delay listening to the Lord. I graduated and instead of heading to SUU, I decided to delay a semester. I found a job and stayed in my apartment… And then things started going wrong. The tensions among my close-knit group of friends kept mounting. It got so bad I remember having a shouting match with my best friend on a deserted street in the middle of a heavy snow storm.

Things at my job got worse too. And within two weeks, (after dragging my feet for months on end) I found myself unemployed, without a boyfriend, and seriously upset with almost everyone I knew. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the Lord will not be ignored. He had a plan for me that included my move to the dreaded state of Utah. And I was like a mule, stubbornly kicking against the pricks.

The term “kicking against the pricks” brings an image to my mind. I see someone angrily lashing out at sharp thistles or splintered wood. They are beating themselves up in the process of trying to damage something that isn’t going to notice their efforts. Sadly, I was like Jonah because I hid from the mission the Lord had in mind for me. I kicked against that plan like somehow my will was more important, like my plans were stronger than the Lord. I was an idiot.

God Opens Doors

Thankfully the minute I snapped out of my short-sighted determination to do my own thing — the minute I started making plans to get to SUU — the doors started opening. The Lord opened up my way and made the transition smooth. Everything happened faster than I thought possible! And the obstacles and hedges I felt in my life cleared away. It was like a door opened in a stifling room and the cool outside air brought the relief my heart needed so badly.

Why am I telling you this story, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. We all have times in our lives when our will and the Lord’s will aren’t in total alignment. Sometimes He wants us to go and do while we just want to sit and rest. We have all felt the frustration when our plans aren’t working out as we had hoped and things keep blocking our path. So I ask you to stop in those moments and ask yourself if there is something you are missing.

My moment of confirmation that I was supposed to go to SUU was intense — but things aren’t always so clear. So if you are feeling your way “hedged up” or you are feeling the frustration of “kicking against the pricks,” maybe the Lord has another route for you to take. The good news is that He wants all His ways to be clear. So all we need to do is ask Him what is next and He will show us. He is wonderful that way. He wants to bless us and help us become the best people we can be. And He has a plan.

Find Your Courage

To read more of Patty’s articles, click here.

I encourage you to stop and look around. Take a moment to feel what your heart is saying. Listen for that little whispered thought that you may have been ignoring. Sometimes it is drastically different. Sometimes it is what you have known deep down all along. But it will always be a relief to understand. And it will always be accompanied by a feeling of rightness and calm and peace.

I finally got myself to SUU and found that so many blessings had literally been waiting for me. If I hadn’t been so foolish, I could have claimed them months earlier. But the important thing is that I finally did what I needed to do. I got to be where I needed to be — and I had some of the greatest times of my life! It set me on a path that blessed the rest of my life, and I’d never trade it for the world.

I know that you will never regret following the plan the Lord has set for you. The peace I feel when I’m aligned with the Lord is irreplaceable.

Patty Sampson

Patty thrives on all things creative. You’ll often find her in the garden pretending she is a suburban farmer. She loves meeting new people, and is devoted to her friends and family. In her heart she is a Midwesterner even though life has moved her all over the country. She believes in “blooming where you’re planted” and has found purpose in every place she has been. She has a deep and abiding love for the Savior and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And she loves editing LDS Blogs because it is a constant spiritual uplift. Not many people can say their job builds their witness of the Savior.

To do the task properly, I had to first remove all the storm windows and wash them separately. The ones on the pulley didn’t do any fancy tilting for easy cleaning, so I had to use a step ladder to reach the tops of the inside panes, and a 12-foot ladder for the outside. There were 8 sides of glass that needed cleaning for each window, with 14 windows in the house. That’s 112 sides of glass, plus going up and down the ladders all day, and, of course, removing and returning the storm windows when they were clean. My body ached just thinking about it. Yes, I dreaded the chore.

For the first few years, I didn’t clean the windows very well. Maybe a few squirts of spray-cleaner on the inside panes in the kitchen, or some spot cleaning where the dogs’ snouts pressed against the ones in the living room. But I couldn’t stand the idea of doing the job properly. And they didn’t seem that dirty, anyway. After all, I could still see through them. So I put off the job year after year.

Then, something marvelous happened. General Conference talks became available to listen to online. General Conference is a twice-yearly event for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints where the prophet, apostles, and other Church authorities speak to the people. The talks are broadcast live, and then they appear in print after the conference is over. During the age of the internet, the Church got right on board and began to post them online after conference. We’d still wait for the printed version to read and to make notes in, but to listen again online was truly a new and awesome experience.

Coincidentally, the year when this amazing online phenomenon took place was the year I noticed how dirty my windows had become. I could still see through them, but there was a slight haze of gray obstructing my view. But an idea came to me: I could take advantage of listening to the talks again while I cleaned the windows. I balanced the duration of each cleaning session with an hour or two of talks, making sure I could hear conference from whichever spot I stood—outside or inside—while cleaning.

I was shocked at how filthy the windows had gotten. Still, I pressed on, relying on the words of the prophet and other speakers to strengthen my resolve. While I worked, I felt as if I had my own mini-conference going on. It made the time go by so quickly.

It took me several days to finish the entire house. When I was done, I stood in the middle of my home with the shades and blinds drawn open. The sun streamed in and I saw something I never saw before. The outside world looked so clean that it was as if I was looking through no glass at all. The neighbor’s yard was beautiful, my own grass was coming in a velvety green, and the sidewalks were bright. Everything looked new. But the only things that were new were my windows—my clean windows—and my outlook on the task I managed to complete.

We Get Comfortable in Sin

Sometimes in life, we have habits that may not be the best for us. We may struggle with family relationships, addictive vices that take away precious time and resources, or we may even have a weakness for certain distractions that pull us away from doing better things with our time. Everyone faces a situation like this once in a while. We recognize how it may not be the best thing for us, but we’re not up to the challenge of turning away. And just like my dirty windows, the problem can get worse over time.

We Become Short-Sighted About Heaven and the Future

Over the years, I truly thought my windows were clean enough. I couldn’t see how dirty they had become. I remember looking outside at times and not really appreciating the view, yet not realizing it was due to the condition of the windows. My neighborhood was beautiful, but I couldn’t see it that way anymore. When we are distracted with our own personal temptations or sins, our view on eternity is blocked. We may even doubt the promises of our Savior and our worth to him. We wonder if we can ever see clearly again.

We Feel Daunted by the Task

It’s usually when we are “in too deep” that we are forced to face our problems, but therein lies the perplexity. We feel we can’t tackle them. But the alternative—living under the pressure of sin or being a slave to our temptations—is worse. Luckily, this often leads us to our knees. When there seems as if no one else will listen, it is on our knees that we find strength to stand tall.

We Realize We Can’t Do It Alone

“Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications; in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness.” (Psalms 143:1)

There are some things we simply cannot do alone. Overcoming our own personal vices is one of them. We’ve seen it so many times in the scriptures, where men and women of God have gone to their knees for guidance. Christ himself taught us this pattern when he gave his great intercessory prayer in John 17. It is a pattern that has been laid out since the beginning of time. And fortunately for us, it is an eternal pattern—one that discriminates against no one, no matter how harsh the grip of the vice, no matter how often it bears down on us.

We Allow the Savior to Walk Beside Us

“O send out thy light and thy truth: let them lead me; let them bring me unto thy holy hill, and to thy tabernacles.” (Psalm 43:3)

For me, listening to the words of modern day prophets—words that echo the love and forgiveness my Savior, Jesus Christ, has to offer—gave me the courage to face the challenge I was not willing to face before. True, having dirty windows is not a crime against man or nature. They won’t keep me out of heaven. But they were a real stumbling block in my life, something I was not willing to face alone. And I didn’t have to, thanks to modern technology. But even more importantly, I was able to see the symbolism in this week-long event to help clean the vices of my own life, so that I can have a spiritually clean heart again.

The Task Becomes Light

Our Savior has counseled us: 

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

It seems impossible that the task of taking upon ourselves another yoke—even that of the Savior’s—could make our own task light, but it does. I know for me, as I listened to the counsel of the general authorities, my mind was distracted from the duty at hand and my soul was strengthened. In time, the windows were sparkling and I was edified for my efforts.

I know this to be true in spiritual matters as well. When we trust the Savior, truly trust Him, we are strengthened by His eternal power to heal and to save. This in turn gives us the ability to see heaven more clearly and to know that His promised glory is something we are worthy to obtain—simply because He loves us enough to help us every step of the way.

A Renewal of Spiritual Eyes

“For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory…” (D&C 58:4)

To read more of Nanette’s articles, click here.

When we open our hearts to the Lord, when we allow Him to walk with us and restore us as we work through our trials, our eyes are made pure again. We see clearly, just as we did before we allowed sin and temptation to corrupt our spirit. We see further, even past life’s little barriers, for we see as God sees. What I love most about this gift is that it is for all to receive whenever and as often as needed.

In our new house, the windows are much easier to clean. It doesn’t take nearly as long. But I started a tradition back in the old house, one that I try to maintain twice a year—cleaning windows with the General Authorities. Each time I do, I enjoy the talks of conference again while I work. And each time, my spirit is cleansed more than the windows ever could be.

This post was originally published in 2014. Minor changes have been made.

Nanette ONeal

Nanette O’Neal loves the gospel and is very happy to share her testimony on LDS Blogs. She is a convert to the church and still feels the spirit burn strong within her heart. She graduated from Mason Gross School of the Arts with a degree in music education and has taught children and adults in the private and public sphere for over twenty years. Nanette continues to study the gospel and the art of writing. She writes weekly inspirational articles on her blog and is currently working on an LDS fantasy novel series, A Doorway Back to Forever. You can find her at NanetteONeal.blogspot.com. Nanette has a wonderful husband, talented son, and three beautiful dogs.

Go to the Edge of the Light

In Sunday School, I remember being taught that we often have to go to the edge of the light, or the edge of what we know and understand, before the Lord will give us more instruction.  There have been many times in my life when I had to go to the edge of my understanding, praying all the way.  And when the time was right the Lord would give me the next set of instructions.

I recently had a very interesting “Indiana Jones” experience of my own.  I was driving my parents to the airport.  It was a cold, foggy and icy winter day.  And since we were out early the sun was still hours from rising.  The fog was so thick that I couldn’t see more than 20 feet ahead of me.  But I had to get them to their flight, so off we went.

Fog and Faith

I was nervous, and I prayed that the fog wouldn’t be too bad.  There were no miracles- the fog was still there, but I remembered that idea from Sunday School years ago.  So I started to drive to the edge of what I could see, and wait for more light.  Amazingly we made it to the airport.  In fact, every time I set out into the fog with faith, it would gradually clear in front of me.  There was always about 30 feet of visibility, and it was just enough.

How often in our lives are we forced to step onto invisible bridges of faith?  How many times have we had to simply go to the edge of what we could see and wait for our vision to clear?  I had lots of those experiences when I was in college, and when I was just starting out trying to find my first job.  I had those experiences when dating and trying to decide which man I wanted to spend my life with.  And as a mother I have those experiences every day.

I think the Lord puts us in this position on purpose.  He wants us to trust Him.  God can see through the fog, and He knows our ultimate destination.  He is also building our souls and preparing us for great things.  Each time we step to the edge of the light our confidence in Him gets a little stronger.

Just Do It

A moment ago when I mentioned Indiana Jones, I left something out.  As he made the daring leap into open space, he had his eyes closed and he was holding his breath.  (Who wouldn’t!)  But he jumped anyway.  As we go through our trials and experiences in life, and we come to those moments where we have to take a leap of faith, don’t be too hard on yourself.

To read more of Patty’s articles, click here.

The important thing is that we take the leap, make the step, and trust the Lord.  Because He understands if we are praying all the way, holding our breath, and scared out of our minds.  God is in control, and He will keep us safe.  He will lead us along.  As it says in Isaiah 49: 15 & 16:

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.  Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.

God wants us to succeed

Our God will not forget us, He will not lead us astray.  He knows all things, and knows each of us, and our potential.  As we trust Him and make those steps into the unknown our trust in Him will grow.  And it will get easier.  I promise you that He seeks for our success.  He is our biggest advocate and head cheerleader, and if we trust His plan for us we will find ourselves in places we never thought possible.  Our blessings will be greater than we can number.  And we will be really glad we took the leap.

Patty Sampson

Patty thrives on all things creative. You’ll often find her in the garden pretending she is a suburban farmer. She loves meeting new people, and is devoted to her friends and family. In her heart she is a Midwesterner even though life has moved her all over the country. She believes in “blooming where you’re planted” and has found purpose in every place she has been. She has a deep and abiding love for the Savior and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And she loves editing LDS Blogs because it is a constant spiritual uplift. Not many people can say their job builds their witness of the Savior.

A memorable Valentine’s Day

It was Valentine’s Day and my husband was home for a rare week working from home. I remember I ran up the stairs because my two year old needed something, and I felt really out of breath and weak. I joked with my husband that I couldn’t be this out of shape, and then went about my day. I still felt breathless, but was so busy I didn’t slow down to think about it.  When you have a toddler you never stop till they drop.

The next morning a pain in my side woke me up well before my alarm. It felt like I broke a rib, but my little kicking boy had spent the night in his own bed, and my husband had worked so late into the night that he crashed on the couch. I had slept alone so I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I couldn’t take a deep breath because the pain was so bad.

I was in focused Mom Mode

But I had a very full day ahead of me, so I decided it wasn’t going to slow me down and off I went. (For anyone reading this with a sense of foreboding- you have good instincts. I was in real trouble but wasn’t paying attention to my body’s warning signs.) I had five blood clots in my lungs and had no idea. When I was running up the stairs a massive clot had hit my lungs. Thankfully the force of the blood at that moment broke the clot apart and sent much smaller clots deep into my lungs, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this.

As the story continues, I took my sister-in -law shopping, and even stopped to take a passport picture. (I looked awful!)  When I got home and put my sweet boy down for a nap, I really wanted one too. But I had this feeling that if I went to sleep I wouldn’t be waking up again. My husband was napping, and the house was quiet. That nagging feeling that I had to do something wouldn’t go away! So I started going through my mind trying to find a friend to talk things over with.

So God took over

This moment is when I know the Lord started guiding my path more firmly. I wasn’t doing so hot on my own.  First, nobody was free for a chat!  And my friend Dan kept coming to mind. So I called him. He’s a doctor, two time zones away, but I trusted him. Dan is rarely available during the day, so I was surprised when he answered on the second ring.  He told me that I probably needed to be in the emergency room. So I left my sleeping baby, and a note for my sleeping husband, and headed out the door.

I was supposed to pick up my nephews and niece after school and then I planned on going to the hospital. But the Lord stepped in again. My brother called me and told me that he was taking care of the kids and not to worry.  When I told him about my pain he firmly told me to get to the hospital.

Emergency Room

I’ve learned something interesting about the Emergency Room. When you aren’t bleeding or dying the ER can be a long and boring wait. When you are in real medical danger you are whisked right through! This was the most eventful and fast paced trip through the ER of my life! Tests were done promptly, doctors showed up immediately, and in under an hour I had answers.

They did a CT scan to see just what was going on. And I started to catch a clue that things weren’t right when the tech insisted I sit next to her as she reviewed the scans. She didn’t even leave me to rest on the table. When I got back to the exam area, there was a concerned nurse there to meet me. The doctor came in and explained the situation and they immediately gave me a shot of blood thinner in my stomach and told me not to cross my legs or even move because they were afraid there were more clots that could be dislodged and travel to my lungs or brain. I had been intensely blessed that I was feeling mostly fine by then. They had given me something for the pain, and aside from getting winded easily, I had no idea what danger I had just escaped.

I realized how blessed I was

It was terrible calling my parents 3 states away to tell them where I was.  And my husband was beyond worried.  I had been being strong for everyone else, and seeing their concern was really emotional for me.

Cue the brother to scare the crap out of me.   My brother (the one who encouraged me to get to the ER) came to visit me in the hospital. He is a medical guy and he laid out all the gory details like nobody else could. It was very scary. And I hurt having to be away from my husband and two-year-old as I recovered in the hospital. I hurt hearing the worry and fear in my parent’s voices when I spoke with them.

But I knew I was very blessed. I could have died, and I was still in danger. But seeing the grief on my family’s faces was a tremendous motivator. I determined that if it was in my power I was not going to be leaving them behind any time soon. I wanted to see my son get married and retire with my husband- both goals many years off. I did a lot of praying, and thanked the Lord over and over for sparing my life. (I had an undiscovered blood disorder, and that combined with birth control had put me in the hospital, and only God could save me.)

Getting better every day

It has been a long recovery. Even years later I am winded climbing stairs and carrying anything heavy. I sound like I am really working hard at nearly every exertion. But my doctor tells me I’m doing well. When clots form in the lungs, all the lung tissue downstream from the clot dies.  And without blood thinners, those clots would have just kept growing and killing off more lung tissue. So now I am working on building up the strength of my remaining lung tissue. And eventually it will rebuild.  I’m really lucky. Many people in my situation are on oxygen the rest of their lives. I may pant easily, but I don’t need oxygen.

To read more of Patty’s articles, click here.

Trusting the Lord is something every Christian works on daily. It’s kind of like faith- you have it, but you could always use more. So it is with trusting God. We trust Him, but then with each new challenge we are given a chance to trust Him a little more deeply. This challenge with my lungs has taught me to trust the Lord more.

I know more firmly that He is aware of me, and that He spared my life for something important. I know that none of us are here by accident, and that everyone in those critical 24 hours played a role in sparing me from further injury. I am so grateful to be here. Every blessing is sweeter because I know this is time I didn’t have to have. And I’m looking around more diligently to be sure that I complete all the things I was sent to Earth to do.  It’s a wonderful life.

Patty Sampson

Patty thrives on all things creative. You’ll often find her in the garden pretending she is a suburban farmer. She loves meeting new people, and is devoted to her friends and family. In her heart she is a Midwesterner even though life has moved her all over the country. She believes in “blooming where you’re planted” and has found purpose in every place she has been. She has a deep and abiding love for the Savior and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And she loves editing LDS Blogs because it is a constant spiritual uplift. Not many people can say their job builds their witness of the Savior.

The interesting thought to this idea is that we might be surprised to find ourselves unable to see our own destiny.  We might be lost in our focus to raise children, succeed at employment or live out a passion we finally were able to start. Gordon B. Hinckley, past President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints (LDS Church) said “We must never lose sight of the divine destiny of God’s work and the part we play in it.” What is our divine work in this life?

We just have to live our own life to mean something to another human being.

Our own goals and aspirations are personal messages to ourselves. Whether we realize it or not or even like it or not we are all part of a divine plan in motion since Adam and Eve were put on this earth. We don’t have to live grandiose lives from an entertainer’s point of view or discover something instrumental in saving the world; we just have to live our own life to mean something to another human being.

More words from President Hinckley: “Sometimes in our day, as we walk our narrow paths and fill our little niches of responsibility we lose sight of the grand picture.”

Sometimes our life presses forward with or without us realizing our potential for good. We can realize our own importance to others around us or ignore the divine messages. We are our worst enemy in negative thought but we don’t have to listen to those negative thoughts. We can lift ourselves and others up when pessimistic thoughts flood our minds.

President Hinckley has a lot of great things to say: “Each of us has a small field to cultivate. While so doing, we must never lose sight of the greater picture; the large composite of the divine destiny of this work. It was given us by God our Eternal father, and each of us has a part to play in the weaving of its magnificent tapestry. Our individual contribution may be small, but it is not unimportant…”  

Gordon B. Hinckley

Tapestries were first made during the middle Ages and originally designed to protect medieval rooms from the damp and cold weather. They covered large walls of huge castles and insulated big rooms to make them more comfortable. Tapestries were a thick fabric with intricate pictures and designs formed by weaving colored threads together. They were also embroidered on canvas used as a wall hanging or furniture covering.  

The reference used in the above quote helps us to visualize our intricate or complex lives as seen in a tapestry. If we observe from the point of a few inches from the great weaving, we might not appreciate the designs the creator had meant for us to see but if we back up and take in the whole tapestry from a distance we understand much better what is meant to be seen in this grand wall covering. Our lives are just like these tapestries. We just have to find out what that divine destiny is.

One more quote from President Hinckley: “While you are performing the part to which you have been called, never lose sight of the whole majestic and wonderful picture of the purpose of this, the dispensation of the fullness of times. Weave beautifully your small thread in the grand tapestry, the pattern for which was laid out for us by the God of heaven. Hold high the standard under which we walk. Be diligent, be true, be virtuous be faithful that there may be no flaw in that banner.”

To read more of Valerie’s articles, click here.

What encouraging words we have to live by. Something I read on Facebook the other day tells it well: “An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards.  So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus and keep aiming.”

Focus on the gospel of Jesus Christ and the grand picture of our life and how we all touch the lives of others in our own way. Our life will mean much more to us.

Valerie Steimle

Valerie Steimle has been writing as a family advocate for over 25 years. As a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she promotes Christian living in her writings and is the mother of nine children and grandmother to twelve. Mrs. Steimle authored six books and is a contributing writer to several online websites. To her, time is the most precious commodity we have and knows we should spend it wisely.
To read more of Valerie’s work, visit her at her website, The Blessings of Family Life.

The angel had just commanded him and his brothers to return again to get the plates, promising victory. “Behold ye shall go up to Jerusalem again, and the Lord will deliver Laban into your hands.” Laman and Lemuel immediately questioned. “How is it possible that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands? Behold, he is a mighty man, and he can command fifty, yea, even he can slay fifty; then why not us?”

Nephi reminded them of God’s mighty miracles. The brothers grumpily followed him back to the city. Jerusalem is on a mountain surrounded by valleys. There’s plenty of places the brothers could hide in the caves or crevices of the valleys.

Did this fulfill the angel’s commandment? He said go up and the Lord will deliver Laban. The brothers being full of murmuring and lack of faith must have concerned Nephi.

Faith and Obedience

Initially, the lot fell to Laman, chosen by the Lord to get the plates. But he had failed. They’d gone as a group, partially full of faith, and failed.

I think of Achan who grabbed some bounties of war when the children of Israel were specifically told to not touch anything because it all belonged to the Lord. He grabbed some clothes and money and hid it under his tent.

Ai slaughtered Israel’s army.

Joshua sent a small part of the army against Ai, because of their previously massive success with the help of the Lord. However, Ai slaughtered Israel’s army. Devastated, Joshua angrily approached God and asked why God didn’t fight with them. God said the people had sinned.

Everyone stood before Joshua. After some determining factors, only Achan remained. Joshua demanded to know what he’d done. He confessed. The stuff was found. Achan, and everyone in his family, died cataclysmically.

So Nephi hid his brothers out of sight, out of danger. They lacked the faith and courage to rely fully on the Lord. Their attitude and blindness hindered the mission.

So they hid in their safe place. Did the Spirit keep prompting them to courage and obedience? Did they silence His voice to justify their actions? They hid—away from potential physical danger, away from the Spirit’s guidance, away from the miracles about to happen.

Nephi “crept into the city and went forth towards the house of Laban. And [he] was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which [he] should do.”

Soon, Nephi hit his own wall when the Spirit told him to kill Laban. The task revolted Nephi. “And I shrunk and would that I might not slay him.” He shrunk. He didn’t want to do it. For a moment he took a step into his own hiding place. But he continued listening to the Spirit’s voice.

He acknowledged what the Lord told him previously about the critical nature of having the plates. Nephi knew this moment was a moment of deliverance—for himself and all of his descendants.

He stepped back out into the moment. “Therefore I did obey the voice of the Spirit, and took Laban by the hair of the head, and I smote off his head with his own sword.”

Be Strong and Of A Good Courage

Jehovah commanded Joshua to step up as prophet after Moses promising that as He was with Moses, He would be with Joshua. Then He told Joshua to “be strong and of a good courage” for he’d divide the people’s inheritance. “Only be thou strong and very courageous” to keep the law night and day. “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”

Then Joshua reminded the people of the Lord’s commandments and promises. And the people promised that “whithersoever thou sendest us, we will go.”

Am I Hiding?

My sister and I recently traversed one of the most difficult hikes I’ve ever tried. It ended up taking me nine hours and tested every part of my emotional and physical strength. After one point of losing footing in the ubiquitous and horrible mud, sliding down the side of the mountain a ways, and fighting my way back up to reach the path again, I emotionally gave up.

For me, at that moment, the hike was more like Dante’s Inferno.

I mourned the journey. I knew I’d have to somehow get back to the car and I didn’t know how I could physically do it. I literally stopped looking around and focused on one foot in front of the other, one step then the next step, over and over for hours.

I encountered a lot of people who experienced the same path totally differently than I did. One man felt it was his Shangri La of hikes. I’ve never seen such joy on a hike. He’d found Nirvana. But, for me in that moment, it was more like Dante’s Inferno.

I replayed my friend Anna’s comment when I asked about the hike.“Yes, I think you can do it. Just take your time.” I appreciated her confidence and encouragement.

And I heard the calming, reassuring voice of my friend Tasha, who is a yogi, in my head “Find comfort in the discomfort. Let go of your limitations. Feel your muscles lengthen and strengthen. You can do it.”

I stopped comparing myself to others. Giving up was not an option. No person on that trail could save me.

So, I dug deep into my soul and took step after step through miles of mud on the side of a cliff. I climbed up and down rock after rock and up and down rope after rope. I slipped a lot. I fell. I bled. I ached. I cried. Later when I took my socks and shoes off, I saw that toe nail polish had actually been stripped off of four toes!

But the point is that there was a later. And there also was a then. And I made it from then to later. And to be honest, making it was my most valuable takeaway from the experience.

I discovered I had the ability to push past every hiding place, every safe spot I’ve used for 45 years. For me, on that mountain, there wasn’t any place for me to hide—from God or from myself. I saw my deepest fear. It had nothing to do with the mountain or mud or waterfalls or rivers or boulders or inclines or declines. I felt it. I lived it. And then I drove home.

Are You Hiding?

Are you hiding in a “safe” place? Why?

Laman, Lemuel, and Sam hid away from the danger. But how safe was it eternally? Achan decided to hide his rebellion in a safe place. But the Lord disclosed its location.

Does anything keep you from fully participating in obeying the Lord? What is it and why is it holding you back?

Maybe it’s not at all related to Laman, Lemuel, or Aachan’s motivations.

One of my favorite, life altering quotes is by Marianne Williamson.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

 

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

The Savior offers the ultimate permission for us to liberate ourselves from fear and remember who we really are—the children of an Omnipotent, Omniscient Creator, the God of our Universe, our Heavenly Father.

We Can Stand With Faith In God

Nephi left his brothers hiding outside of Jerusalem, but he went forth in the Spirit of the Lord. Joshua faced giants, armies, and rebellion, but he went forth knowing the Lord God was with him. In both instances, they remembered not only what the Lord promised them, but what He’d already done for others.

Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary?…He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

 

To read more of Delisa’s articles, click here.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

We can rise up and do everything He asks of us. He is with us. He guides our pathway. He gives us courage. He increases our strength for the battle is His. He is the everlasting God and He is not hiding.

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.