I wanted friends who understood me, who shared my values, but I always had to keep my guard up. When you are the only one with the values of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there is always something coming up. With the Word of Wisdom particularly, most of the world is very different with their values.

Value your values

Especially in high school it was hard to find friends who shared my values. But I had goals to be married in the temple, and to be someone I could be proud of. I knew my Heavenly Father wanted me to succeed too. So, I leaned on Him often.

I would pray in my heart as I walked the halls of the school. I said silent prayers when I was on a date. Any time I felt like I needed His guidance or strength, I said a prayer. I often prayed to find good friends who would help me keep my values and my covenants. And the Lord guided me to find many of them!

Movie disaster

One time I remember being at a party and the kids there wanted to watch a movie. So, we went to rent one and I decided I needed to be part of the decision-making process so maybe I could steer them away from anything rated R.

Despite my best efforts they decided on an NC-17 movie. UGH!! I really liked these kids, but there was no way I could stay and watch that movie. So, I called my mom, and she came and got me.

Even though I was embarrassed I knew I had chosen wisely. The next Monday at school everyone who had been at the party told me how glad I should be that I went home. They said the movie was awful and they didn’t know what they were thinking choosing to watch it.

One gal even told me that she wished she had the courage I did to leave the party. It was at that moment that I learned there are those of other faiths who value our values. And in keeping my values high I was making it easier for them to do the same.

Gaining strength to keep your values strong

And nobody held it against me that I didn’t stick around for the show. It was eye opening! I could be friends and still keep my covenants! Because real friends valued me just for being me.

And each time I kept my promises to myself I gained strength to keep them more easily the next time. The scriptures talk about this in Alma 32: 27-29.

27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than ^adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

 

28 Now, we will compare the word unto a ^aseed. Now, if ye give place, that a ^bseed may be planted in your ^cheart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your ^dunbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to ^eenlighten my ^funderstanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

 

29 Now behold, would not this increase your faith? I say unto you, Yea; nevertheless it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge.

Growing your faith

I love how the Lord assures us that even having a desire to know, or a desire to have faith, is enough to help it grow. And as it grows, and as your strength grows, so does your closeness to God.

I found that visualizing my goals helped me keep my values and stay on the covenant path. I got my endowments in the Washington DC temple when I was 21, with no plans to go on a mission. I wanted to be sealed in the temple when I got married. So, I kept a picture of the temple on my dresser.

Then as I was dating guys more seriously, I found another reminder to keep my values in clear sight. I used my favorite sealing room in the DC temple as inspiration, and made a bracelet out of the colors in the room. They were lavender and cream, and so gorgeous. Looking at it and feeling it on my wrist brought my goals of temple marriage mind. I still love that temple and the strength it gives me.

You can do it

Everyone will face challenges to their resolve in their lives. That is part of the opposition in all things that this earth is particularly good at giving us. But the Lord has not left us to fend for ourselves. He has promised that He will make up the difference. All we need to do is want to succeed, want to have faith, and He will help us with the rest.

To read more of Abby’s articles in her Living in Harmony column, click here.

We can pray, set reminders around, and even wear reminders. And when the moments of decision come, we must act. It is in those moments we will see what we are made of.

We will gain strength as we keep our promises to ourselves and to the Lord. And as we surround ourselves with others who are trying to stay close to God, and keep on the covenant path, this will be easier. You will never regret keeping your values high.

Abby Christianson

Abby is capable and caring. She is learning more about Autism and parenthood every day. Having completed training to be an RBT (Registered Behavior Technician) for ABA therapy she is beginning to understand her son. And even though she is the first to admit she makes a lot of mistakes, she is so grateful to be on this journey. She comes from a family with many autistic members. She invites us to join her, as she shares her adventures. She wishes to emphasize that Autism is a difference not a defect. If you or a family member have autism, Abby wants you to know that the challenges can be overcome, and there are blessings in autism. You or your loved one are not sick or broken. Together we will teach the world this new language.

At 8:20 am, my parents and I met my sister and her two little girls up American Fork Canyon. I wanted to go for a morning walk in a beautiful setting and my sister had great ideas of where to go. We parked near a gurgling river nestled in the canyon floor and headed out on an easy asphalt path.

My sister wore a light jacket and shorts. My dad wore jeans and a polo shirt with no jacket.  My mom wore a light jacket, pants, gloves, and earmuffs. I had athletic pants and the warmest of the gifted jackets. My family said they weren’t really cold. However, I was really cold.

Walking Along the Path Together

Trusting that a brisk walk along the canyon trail would warm me up, I set out with my family.

What a glorious setting! Fiery reds and oranges splashed color along the path. The river’s song matched our lighthearted footsteps. Sunshine began dancing on the canyon walls overhead highlighting the bursts of color with its warm vibrancy.

American Fork Canyon

And still, with a beautiful, brisk walk, I felt very little change in my body temperature. Whenever I pulled them from my pockets, my fingers felt totally frozen. Everyone else, including the little girls, were fine.

I stopped verbally comparing myself to the others though I occasionally checked to see if the little girls ever had goosebumps. They never did. I knew I experienced a different journey.

Finally, after winding up and down the path, and on the return trip, I felt heat building across the trunk of my body. Though not warm enough to unzip my jacket, I happily exclaimed that I was warming up!

Soon, we made it back over the bridge to the little parking lot. We all enjoyed our little 1.76-mile walk and I tried to convince everyone to do it almost every day I’m here.

Every Person a Different Journey

“In a forest of a hundred thousand trees, no two leaves are alike. And no two journeys along the same path are alike.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Probably because my husband and I are in the middle of another move, which is a time when I reflect on my life’s journey “compared” to other lovely life journeys, the walk proved very instructive.

Even though we all walked along the same path with the same beginning and conclusion, a lot of things vastly differentiated our walking experience.

Our Individual Journeys

For instance, Dad, who has some bruised ribs and muscles, decided to wait for us along the path after a steep incline. He walked alone along the river and then climbed the hill and sat on a perfectly situated rock and awaited our return. He tailored the walk to his need and had a great time.

Mom spent most of the walk entertaining granddaughters in the stroller. She ran ahead and made funny sounds as the girls squealed with laughter. She managed the shoes that were flicked out of the stroller along the way and answered every call for her attention. She had a great time.

The girls mostly spent their time in the stroller—the seven-month-old sat placidly, enjoying grandma’s antics. The 18-month-old spent most of the walk wanting to get out of the stroller to walk by herself or push her baby sister. When the time came that she was able to exit the stroller, she bounced out and immediately took position by her mom to push the baby. She babbled happily as she walked along doing big girl stuff. Their squeals of delight said they had a great time.

My sister, familiar with that path, pointed out upcoming scenic things, pushed two kids up and down hills, perpetually told one daughter she couldn’t get out, and then very patiently walked slowly as that toddler helped. There’s really not a slow bone in my sister’s body, so I love seeing how she’s willing to slow down as a mom for her kids’ benefit. She had a great time.

I spent my time photographing every new, colorful tree, craning to see the rugged canyon walls, and listening to the river. I loved the girls’ laughter and the sunlight dancing through the trees. I smelled all the amazing forest and the occasional fire smells. I loved being with these loved ones I don’t see a lot. I loved experiencing new places I haven’t really discovered before. And even though I was cold, I had a great time.

Same Start Point and Same End Point but a Different Journey

We left from the same point. We returned to the same point. And while we traveled together, laughed together, and helped each other, ultimately our experienced journeys were all very different. We just let them be without expecting anyone to have someone else’s journey or forcing our expectations on someone else (aside from necessary parental precautions). We all were ourselves and we all had a great time.

And isn’t that just the way our journeys through life should be?

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.

“We seldom perform to the level of our knowledge. This brings me to the subject of resolutions—resolutions to conform our lives more closely to what we already know about the gospel. While many of us take seriously our New Year’s resolutions, some of us may not have made any because of our prior problems in keeping them. We must not overlook the power that making good resolutions can have in helping make our lives happier and more successful—regardless of our past performance” (Elder Joe J. Christensen, “Resolutions,” Ensign, Dec 1994, 62).

I love that, don’t you? “We must not overlook the power that making good resolutions can have in helping make our lives happier and more successful—regardless of our past performance.” Wow. What a powerful thought.

Isn’t it just like the adversary Satan [see footnote] would want — to have us give up in discouragement? What a potent tool to keep good folks from striving to do more! Discouragement works to keep many from attaining self-improvement.

The whole point of a Christlike life is to make ourselves more whole, more complete, more like Him. We don’t have to do it overnight. Life is a process, and so is growth. As you contemplate possible goals or resolutions for this new year, remember that a flower doesn’t bud overnight from a slender stalk.

Here are several suggestions for New Year’s resolutions or areas for growth during 2008 – at least for the category of “Preparedness” that this blog discusses:

1. Completing your family’s 72-hour kits
2. Finding/reading excellent preparedness books
3. Aiding your community to become more prepared (i.e. establish a CERT group)
4. Educational preparedness (take a class to build your work knowledge or resume)
5. Learn a living-off-the-land skill (i.e. growing medicinal herbs, foraging for food, chopping wood)
6. Increase your physical preparedness (i.e. eat healthier foods, exercise)
7. Incorporate new food storage recipes (set a goal for a certain amount by the end of the year)
8. Increase your spiritual preparedness (i.e. read your scriptures a certain amount during the new year)
9. Add medical supplies to your year’s supply by the end of the next year
10. Add pet supplies to your year’s supply
11. Add toiletry supplies to your year’s supply
12. Complete either your three months or one year’s food supply.

These are simple suggestions. You might have better ones. Don’t plan on accomplishing them all; just pick one. Decide on a goal that is simple, straightforward, and easily achievable, so that by the end of next year you will have done it! You will have actually accomplished one of your New Year’s resolutions! And in a life-saving category. The important thing is that you do it.

Your family will count you most blessed for it.

(1.) “Satan lives. We must realize that he lives just as certainly as God lives and as we live. Those who teach that there is no devil are either ignorant of the facts or are deceivers” (ElRay L. Christiansen, “Power Over Satan,” Ensign, Nov. 1974, 22).

This article was originally published in December 2007. Minor changes have been made.

Cindy B

1. Study diligently.

2. Pray earnestly.

3. Serve willingly.

Study Diligently

First, study. What does the disciple study? The most obvious answer is the scriptures. Christ has said,

“Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me” (John 5:39).

When we read the scriptures with sincerity and diligence, we hear the Lord’s voice and understand His words — then, when they speak to our heart, they penetrate deep. As we study, we read, hear, and understand. We learn the will of the Lord and grow in testimony and love for Him. The scriptures are the best foundation for our faith in a world that wants to eat away at anything spiritual. They are a sure guide to paths of faithfulness and the best defense against evil. Scripture study is not a light reading once a week; rather, it is meant to be a diligent pursuit for something we truly desire. We should search the scriptures with the same fervency that we would look for our lost car keys when late for an appointment. They are our life preserver in a world drowning with sin and pain.

Along with the scriptures, explore other good and powerful works. Gain an education and knowledge of the best things the world has to offer. These are placed here for the growth and benefit of God’s children so that we could celebrate our lives, talents, and differences during our experience here on earth.

Pray Earnestly

Second, pray. Once we have come to understand the language of God and can feel His words in our hearts from the scriptures, we must open the line of communication even further by connecting in an even more personal manner.

“Pray always, and I will pour out my Spirit upon you, and great shall be your blessing” (D&C 19:38).

Express to Heavenly Father your every need, fear, and joy. He will share in your life through your prayers and give you personal direction and support when you listen for His spirit during your communications with Him.

Serve Willingly

Lastly, we must have a goal to serve willingly. Does it have to be big and dramatic? Usually not. Consider the ways of the Savior. Yes, there were many significant and highly visible acts, and there will be times when we are placed in significant situations where our service will be extremely great. But just as often during the Savior’s mortal ministry, it was something small and personal. There were many times when He told someone to go and tell no one; many times when He noticed what everyone else in the crowd had overlooked. Often, He understood a person’s heart when the world could not.

These are the things that marked His greatness in my eyes and what He most often requires of us as His disciples. As His hands of service in the lives we come in contact with, He wants us to notice the little things. The man in the tree, left on the outskirts. The woman who needs someone to notice the soul behind her tears. He needs our eyes and ears and, most of all, our hearts. He needs our willingness to express our love for Him in ways others can understand and learn from.

These are three simple but soul-expanding goals for the disciple of Christ.

This article was originally published in 2009. Edits have been made for clarity.

Alison P

The previous day, we’d overseen the testing of 84 examinees across the spectrum of engineering. The second test day, however, was part two for potential structural engineers. For some of them, it was a second 8-hour test day. For others, part two came after taking part one during the exam in April. All in various circumstances, from a very expectant young mother to an older gentleman aged 66, the seven arrived to take the exam.

What Were the Pass Rates?

While meandering around the room, I wondered about average pass rates. There had been so many exams administered the day before that I just thought about it generally. But this day, since there were so few of them, and I was watching them flip through tagged thousand-paged books, I wondered about this test specifically.

It’s bizarre how after serving people in the simplest ways (like by checking IDs and paperwork and walking around a room ensuring that everyone has a fair and equitable experience), you really “see” the test-takers, empathize with them, and want them to do well. Several of us commented that we’d prayed for a test-taker who suddenly exhibited stress. We wanted them all to succeed.

So I wanted to know statistically how many would succeed in passing that test.

Since we were a new proctor team, the NCEES sent an exam pro, test editor, and proctor specialist all rolled into one great person named Ashley to oversee our exam administration. When I had a chance, I asked her (Ashley) if she happened to know the pass rate for the exam.

Ashley said that particular structural engineering exam was the hardest test in their exam bank! “It’s really hard to become a structural engineer,” she said. I’m grateful for the rigorous testing of those who build our bridges and skyscrapers. It gave me a new appreciation for the two women and five men who turned up for an intense exam day.

According to the NCEES website, 28% is the passing rate for the test they were currently taking. 28%!!! The 16-hour, four-sectioned exam’s passing rates ranged from 28-46%. The passing rates for those who retook the exam were only slightly higher.

Would You Take an Exam with a 28% Pass Rate?

28%! That passing rate suggested that only one of our little examination group would pass that section.

I looked at the backs of their bent-over heads. They sat solitarily at their own table surrounded by piles of books they could reference during the exam. Situated next to them on the floor were drinks and snacks and the suitcases or beach wagons used to transport their books. Besides the reference books, specific calculators were also allowed on the table. They could choose two of four other items—protractor, rule, triangle, or scale.

The most important, and the only required, items on their tables were their IDs and Exam Authorization form. They had to have their ID and Exam Authorization form visible at all times. They needed both items to enter the exam room, they carried both with them on restroom breaks, and they had to take both during lunch breaks so they could gain access to the room again after lunch. Their ID was persistent and key.

As I passed by the tables, I looked for their ID and Exam Authorization form every time. It’s one reason I began to recognize them. I had to recognize them as a part of my responsibility.

28-46% passing rate for all four sections. I couldn’t get over it. I wondered if any of them felt discouraged by those percentages. I knew they believed in themselves enough to attempt the beast because they all showed up ready to go.

Their focus amazed me. Only two people left to use the restroom during 8 hours of exam. Those two people were not the pregnant woman! Those seven people knew what they were there for and they gave it their best shot.

I wonder if the metaphor that this became for me is obvious to you yet. Regardless, I have to tell you about the barracudas.

Barracudas and Distractions During the Test

In the pools at the Blaisdell Convention Center, where the NCEES held the two-day exam session, are lots of fish. In a pool between the parking structure and the building swim barracudas. Barracudas are large predatory fish with fearsome appearances and ferocious behavior. I was surprised to see several barracudas swimming lazily in the pool amongst the other fish.

So these few of many engineering hopefuls came to be tested. Their path required the hardest possible testing. Although very few passed the test, these seven showed up undaunted, ready to conquer. Even if they failed, they could try again until they did conquer the test.

While they took their test, predators swam nearby. Unforeseen distractions happened all around them, like a 4×4 truck show blasting music and announcements nearby and The Cat Fancier’s Association who tried to get into our room because they thought they reserved our room instead of the one next door. But in spite of those crazy distractions, all seven heads remained focused on the task at hand until the moment when I said their test was finished.

Mortality Is Our Test, Exaltation Our Goal

To read more of Delisa’s articles, click here.

Mormon knew this life would be a test, a probation, that would require our utmost effort and focus.

Be wise in the days of your probation; strip yourselves of all uncleanness; ask not, that ye may consume it on your lusts, but ask with a firmness unshaken, that ye will yield to no temptation, but that ye will serve the true and living God.

Paul recognized that not all who participated would pass the test.

Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.

Finally, Elder M. Russell Ballard discussed some of the ways we focus our attention and avoid distractions during our mortal test.

Mortality, then, is the time to test our ability to understand our Heavenly Father’s plan and, of course, our willingness to be obedient. Obedience is essential to obtain exaltation and eternal life….

 

Understanding the gospel of Jesus Christ and following him as our Savior and our Redeemer will influence every aspect of our lives, including all of our individual choices. Those who live according to Heavenly Father’s eternal plan will not want to absorb any information that is illicit or untoward, nor will they destroy their spiritual sensitivity through immoral acts or the consumption of any harmful substances. Neither will they search for doctrinal loopholes to find reasons to challenge the ordained leadership of the Church nor tamper with the simple truths of the gospel. They will not attempt to justify any lifestyle that is contrary to the plan of happiness.

 

If they do any of these things, they will never find the inner peace and joy that living the gospel brings. All of our Father’s children can seek prayerfully to know who they are and can find real happiness if they obey God’s commandments and endure to the end.

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” — Lao Tzu

“A teacher is never a giver of truth; he is a guide, a pointer to the truth that each student must find for himself.” — Bruce Lee

I pretty much look for teachers everywhere and in everything.

Lately, I’ve really been pondering these verses:

And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.

 

Therefore, sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God, and the days will come that you shall see him; for he will unveil his face unto you, and it shall be in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will.

I am extremely active-minded, a.k.a. easily distracted. I multitask and bounce from thing to idea to action. After reading articles about how multitasking is not efficient, I began trying to become single-task oriented with my long to-do list. I still find myself in the throes of busyness. And while taking time to pray and read the scriptures helps, I still often feel like I have to maintain a self-imposed frenetic pace.

This mindset has gotten me further along my spiritual and temporal journey, but now I’m ready to shift again. And the direction that keeps illuminating my thoughts is:

doing all things with an eye single to the glory of God.

I’ve known this commandment existed my whole life and tried to live it according to the various levels of my journey. What does it look like now? I asked the Lord to teach me how to better live this principle at this stage in my life.

When the Student is Ready, the Teacher Appears

Our English bulldog, Stig

Enter the teacher.

I’ve known this teacher for five years. He is obstinate, arrogant, hilarious, and adorable. He is high-maintenance and worth it. He’s our English bulldog, Stig.

I’ve recognized Stig’s tenacious single-mindedness before. But two experiences over the past two weeks have taught me the lesson about living with an eye single that I’d been seeking.

Stig Meets Paddle Board

Our friend Malia invited me and Stig to doggy playgroup hour at their homeowner association’s lagoon. Since Stig absolutely loves his skateboard, we wanted to see how he would react to a paddle board.

We arrived at a beach full of dogs—primarily large dogs. I let Stig off leash and he ran to meet them. They greeted him and they ran all over the beach together—until Stig, after running for a couple of minutes, looked onto the water and saw a boy on a paddle board.

Stig full stopped amidst the doggy chaos and watched that boy for several moments. He walked into the water, and apparently calculated the obstacle (Stig doesn’t like obstacles). He turned and ran with the dogs again.

Soon, the boy came to shore and turned his board upside down on the sand.

The dogs began their lap towards that side of the lagoon again. Instead of running the distance, Stig (who was somehow sort of in front) ran straight up on that upside down paddle board and stopped. The other dogs ran with him to the board and sniffed it, but had no desire to follow his lead. They jumped around him in the water.

And there stood Stig, like the king of the world from Titanic, until I could get to him and physically pull him off that boy’s board. Then he started his crying, chirping noises to let me know how he really felt. He wanted—no, needed—back on that board.

Malia grabbed a staff person and asked for a board for Stig.

A board appeared and Stig ran immediately onto it. The dogs came to him, asking him to play with them, and he paid absolutely no attention to them ever again.

And thus began Stig’s paddle-boarding adventure. He loved every second of it. He slid off the board three times, but that never scared him or diminished his desire to get back on. He barked orders about keeping our speed up when I slacked and let us just float while talking to someone nearby.

We meandered around the lagoon for 35-40 minutes and then our allotted time was up. Oh, he didn’t want to leave! As I rinsed him down, he could still see his board upside down on the beach. Once, both of my hands were off his body and he bolted for the beach. I caught him and held him back the rest of the time.

From the time he first stepped onto that upside down board, he never took his eye off his prize.

Second Time at the Lagoon

Yesterday, Anthony accompanied me and Stig to the lagoon. We asked for a board for Stig right away.

There weren’t as many dogs as the time before, but they all came to greet Stig while he waited on-leash for Malia’s family to arrive. Soon, he was off leash and ran to the dogs. He said hi to everyone, but then looked for a paddle board.

It soon appeared and he hopped right on. Anthony took him for a spin. I got a board and went to meet them. As I approached, Stig suddenly lunged from Anthony’s board to mine! He ran up to me on the board, turned around, and then jumped across to Anthony’s board. We laughed.

Another 10-year-old friend paddled close to us and Stig jumped to her board, too. So we began paddling close to each other and watching Stig run from board to board. It was hilarious.

Stig wanted to ride every paddle board, so he did.

Some dogs approached Stig in the water. He would look at them, but had was not dissuaded by them. We tried to get several other dogs onto our boards, but they preferred to swim in the lagoon.

So Stig floated around the lagoon on his several perches until the inevitable, heart-wrenching gotta-go-home time came. Anthony and I both held onto him during the rinse-off. Stig’s body was tensed and ready to bolt back to the boards at any opportunity.

Eye Single

The realization that Stig was my teacher hit me yesterday while we stood to the side, waiting for Malia’s arrival, watching the dogs and the lagoon.

Stig knew the place when we arrived. When we got in, he watched a kid paddling on the lagoon. He watched a man corralling his dog onto a board. The dog jumped off. Stig watched the dogs running around the beach. He greeted the dogs that came to see him.

But as soon as he had agency, Stig bolted to the beach and barked for a board. The other dogs swirled around, but he was not distracted. People came to talk to us, but he was not deterred. Board! Board! Board!

As soon as the paddle board hit the water, Stig captained it. Except for sliding off while jumping from board to board, Stig never came off the paddle board.

He didn’t grow tired or bored or discontented. We could tell he was physically spent and decided to go home. He absolutely disapproved of our decision. He would have stayed on the board forever.

My Eye Single Lesson?

Do I live intentionally? Do I have a specific goal? If not, why not?!

If I do have a specific goal, do I get distracted when other dogs clamor for my attention? Do I think, “Oh, I could just play with that doggy for a moment! I don’t want to be rude!” or do I balance my interactions with others and my intentional living as the Lord directs?

To read more of Delisa’s articles, click here.

Do I recognize the tool(s) that enable me to reach my goals? Only one item at that lagoon brought Stig to his goal though many, many other good and fun things were present. None of the things, dogs or people, were bad things, but could have been distractions to what he really wanted.

But Stig is incapable of distraction. He is laser-focused on food. He is laser-focused on his skateboard. He is laser-focused on paddle boards.

He chooses to live with an eye single to his intentional life. He is the best teacher of how to live that way. I love him for that.

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.

He stands immovable, waiting for the door to open so he can bolt into the garage and go for a ride in the truck. Unfortunately, we can’t open the door at all because of his proximity. So, in his eagerness and haste, Stig actually becomes a gigantic doorstop and an impediment to his own happiness.

“Back, Stig. Back!”

He knows what it means, but almost as if punctuating his decisive willingness, Stig cannot back away more than a few inches from the door.

So, this silly, 99-point turn exercise begins. Stig gives an inch. I open the door an inch. “Back, Stig.” Stig gives an inch, but presses his face firmly on the open crack. I open the door an inch. And so it goes until the door opens wide enough for his head and then he somehow splits the space for the rest of his body to slide through.

Then, in a flash, he catapults his bulky body into the garage and disappears from view as he begins the wait for the truck door to open.

It’s been a bit more challenging during the past while that Stig’s wearing a cone of shame. He knows how many inches the door has to be open to get his head through it and doesn’t seem to care that he currently has a wide load around his neck. So, in his enthusiasm to get out the door, his head gets really jostled passing through that portal to freedom.

Anthony and I groan over this habit. If he waited two seconds, he’d be out the door substantially faster. We’ve stopped him with treats further down the hallway, but his determined mind wants to be right at the doorframe.

Opposing Door Takeaways—Steadfast Expectation

When the time comes to go for a ride in the car, Stig immediately presents himself and steadfastly waits for a glorious realization of his expectations. He knows he only needs 10 inches or so to get through the door. He patiently waits for the door to accommodate him. He knows it will.

He does what he needs to do to get to the door. Then he knows it will open for him.

You know, brethren, that a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves.

Therefore…let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.

Do I have that much steadfast faith?

Opposing Door Takeaway—Getting In His Own Way

For behold, the Lord hath said: I will not succor my people in the day of their transgression; but I will hedge up their ways that they prosper not; and their doings shall be as a stumbling block before them.

In an instant, Stig becomes his greatest obstacle.

There are so many ways to impede progress physically, mentally, spiritually.

How often do I impede my progression? I’ve found that limiting belief or unbelief slams me right against the door with no way to open it unless I move by changing my mind, attitude, habits, or heart.

Stig’s heady, enthusiastically stubborn approach to life makes me laugh and becomes a great metaphor for when I feel stuck at the door to the garage waiting for the promised ride in the truck..

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.

My nephew Brady did just that. He watched his brothers achieve their goal of Eagle Scout and, in his competitive way, he looked for a way to achieve that goal… and faster. And he did.

At his recent Eagle Court of Honor, Brady’s Scoutmaster related his first meeting with Brady last year. Brady’s family moved to a new neighborhood last February. At 11-years-old and already on his quest to reach the Eagle rank when he was 12, Brady shook the Scoutmaster’s introductory hand and said, “Hi, I’m Brady. I’ve just earned my Star rank. I’d like my Life Board of Review to be on May 23rd and my Eagle Board of Review to be on November 7th.”

Surprised, his new Scoutmaster just said, “Alright.” He said in the back of his mind, he wondered if those dates were for real. He continued, “It was only after a few weeks of getting to know the Bushmans that I understood this sibling rivalry going on and why those dates were so important.” The stake ultimately accommodated Brady’s intentioned date requests, even convening a special meeting for Brady.

I asked Brady and his parents if I could post Brady’s comments on receiving Eagle Scout.  I liked how he recounted identifying the prize and how that drove him to work intentionally towards his goal.

The Road to Becoming a 12-Year-Old Eagle Scout

The following are the words of Brady Bushman:

I have really enjoyed scouts over the years. It has been a really fun experience and I encourage everyone to do the scouting program. As soon as I turned 8 and started with Cub Scouts, I loved it. I have always wanted to earn the Eagle Scout award.  I have had some good examples of Eagle Scouts in my family. My dad and his brothers are Eagle Scouts.

 

My older cousins and siblings are also Eagle Scouts. In fact, my cousin Kyle was the first to earn his Eagle and did so at an early age. That inspired my older brother Austin to earn it sooner in age than Kyle, and he did. Then, my other brother Connor wanted to earn it sooner than Austin, and he did. I really like competition and because I also really like Scouts, I decided that I should try to earn mine sooner than Connor did. Connor earned it so fast that there wasn’t much leeway with my advancement schedule. With the help of my parents and leaders, I was able to beat Connor by 12 days!

 

As soon as I turned 11, I started to earn merit badges and go on campouts. My dad was scoutmaster and that really helped because I could go with him and the troop. I went to 4-5 pow-wows at BYU and in the Stake when I was 11. Those helped me earn most of the required merit badges before I turned 12. My dad was released as Scoutmaster, but the other Scoutmasters were really great and helped me along the way to completion.

 

To read more of Delisa’s articles, click here.

My inspiration for my Eagle project was my cousin Brooke. She receives treatment at Shriners Hospital. I called them and asked them if I could do something for them to work for my Eagle Project. They gave me some different options and I chose to collect fleece blankets, get items for their hospitality cart, and do a toy drive. They were all successful and I really appreciate the donations and time spent by those who were able to help. When I went to Shriners to drop off the donations, Brooke was there and I was able to talk to her for a few minutes. I had no idea she was going to be there, so it was really cool that she was as I dropped the donations off.

 

I went on a lot of campouts, but I think my favorite was our Payson Lakes summer camp that my leaders organized. I earned eight merit badges and had a lot of fun.  I even won the kayak race around the lake! My favorite merit badge was Lifesaving, although I really enjoyed all of the ones I earned.

 

There were so many people who helped me along the way.  Thanks to my mom for all of her support!  She was always there to help me. Thanks to Austin and Connor for showing me a good example and for helping me out when I started Scouts. Thanks to my sister Valeska for being my biggest supporter and always being there for me.  Thanks to Brother Bills, Brother Giessing, and Brother McMullin for their help and time. Thanks to my dad for being my Scoutmaster and for helping me from the beginning to the end. I’d like to give my mentor pin to my dad!

 

Thank you all for coming tonight and sharing in this journey and celebration!

Delisa Hargrove

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have moved 64 times and have not tired of experiencing this beautiful earth! I love the people, languages, histories/anthropologies, & especially religious cultures of the world. My life long passion is the study & searching out of religious symbolism, specifically related to ancient & modern temples. My husband Anthony and I love our bulldog Stig, adventures, traveling, movies, motorcycling, and time with friends and family.

When I was a junior engineer, I walked into the midpoint of the program. I supported a senior engineer plan and prepare for on-orbit testing, trained the incoming contractor support, and earned my stripes working different shifts during on-orbit testing and analysis. Later, I led the charge to optimize the test program and was commended by the customer when the units were certified for use by the end user. I was there when we kicked off the sustainment phase on some units as we prepared for on-orbit testing on new units.

Then I moved forward in the program. I started working on selling off the units to the customer after we tested them on Earth, before they were launched.

After awhile, I moved forward again. This time, starting near the beginning, just after a contract is awarded, planning out the schedule and deliverables, preparing the changes and reports for the initial Critical Design Review. Then, we were reviewing and delivering the reports on the components and subsystems, and planning for ground testing.

Through all of it, I could see how our choices, decisions, and creative solutions today could make on-orbit testing or user certification easier or more difficult down the road. My path has given me a contract life cycle perspective I didn’t plan on, and it has helped me drive for change and efficiency based on that experience.

My youngest child turned 8 years old this week. Mormons believe that 8 years old is the age of accountability. We encourage our children to gain a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and to be baptized because they are now responsible for their own choices. Before the age of 8, they are innocent and not accountable. There is no purgatory for little children who die, they are innocent and “get a free pass” to Heaven [my words].

We also believe that families can be joined together for time and throughout all of eternity; that there doesn’t have to be an “until death do you part.” We call this ordinance a sealing.

Since the day my husband and I have been sealed together as a married couple in the temple, our kids have been sealed to us to make us an eternal family, our oldest child has been baptized, and our youngest wants to and will be baptized. My husband looked at me this week, and said jokingly, “Well, our job is done.” I laughed, knowing I had been thinking the same thing: that we’ve met the minimum requirement.

It’s a fun, overwhelming moment to congratulate ourselves on all the challenges we’ve overcome, and to still acknowledge the vast cavern of challenges and decisions from here to eternity. We know we aren’t done. After a decade and a half of marriage, we’ve only satisfied the MINIMUM requirement on this program, and it was HARD.

It isn’t easy to act like an eternal family some days – most days. Being an eternal family means to treat each other with patience and care; to continue to work on our relationships like they might actually matter. It means knowing the end from the beginning, knowing what the goal is and remembering it when you are tired, frustrated, and exhausted. It means pushing for change in your family because you are the end-user who gets stuck with the final product.

To read more of Molly’s articles, click here.

When I’m on my lunch break from whatever angelic assignment I get in Heaven, I want to open up the video feed to my great-great-great grandchildren on Earth and see something I’m proud of. As I watch the decisions they make, I want to shout out in happiness so loudly that other angels turn and stare.

I want to keep working for more than the “Minimum Requirement,” even if it takes an eternity.

Molly A. Kerr

Molly is on a life long quest to figure herself out. Born to be and educated as an aerospace engineer she is also blessed to be a wife and a mom of two in the present, previously served as a full-time missionary, is consistently called to teach the youth in her ward, is eagerly though slowly doing home improvement as money and time allow, all while gradually learning how to be herself and find peace and balance somewhere in between.

Despite her attempts to make “the right” decisions in her life, she has learned to deal with some unexpected challenges over the last two decades. Total tornadoes, really. What she has discovered is that her career has taught her a lot about the Gospel and being a better mother, and the Gospel, when applied to challenges at the office, has made her a better professional. She has also learned that it is okay to be herself, and God still loves (and forgives) her for it.

Character is making and keeping commitments with your supervisors at work.  When you are asked to complete a task and allowed to pick your own deadline, it takes a huge lack of character to blow right past it and not communicate why or when.  

A person of character communicates in advance their progress, challenges, and estimated completion date.  A person of character finds a way to get the job done and meet their commitments.

When I was a missionary, I once watched another missionary get reprimanded.  He was a district leader – a young missionary asked to lead and supervise 8 – 10 missionaries in a local area.  I knew the situation and knew that the district leader had a good reason for his decision.  However, when he was reprimanded, that district leader never explained the circumstances.  He took his “lumps”.  I later pulled him aside and asked why he hadn’t defended himself.  

He said the reason didn’t matter, it was his responsibility and his mistake.  His example stuck with me.  I don’t entirely agree with a “no excuses” approach, however, there’s still an admirable principle there. Owning your leadership decisions regardless of where the road takes you.  And if he had a good supervisor, they would have asked why.  If that supervisor had cared about teaching, there would have been a “lessons learned” discussion.

When I was a teenager, a youth leader taught us to make a list of the qualities we wanted in a spouse and then, become that person.  If you want to marry a patient spouse, you should be a patient person. Patience tends to attract patience.  Fun-loving personalities attract fun-loving personalities.  This motivated a discussion with my mother.  She said above all else, you should marry someone with character.  

People with character commit themselves to making their marriage work.  Two people who are committed to making their marriage work can survive anything heaven or hell throws at them.  Note that I said, TWO people.  ONE person cannot hold a marriage together for very long.

On one of our first dates, my husband spent hours telling me all the bad decisions he had made in his life. I really didn’t want to know.  However, I soon married him because he was a “survivor”.  No matter what life threw at him or how bad his mistakes, his faith was like a rock.  He still believed in the goal of having an eternal family.  I somehow knew that his strength of character would get us through this life to eternity.

To read more of Molly’s articles, click here.

I find it comical how many moments I’m tripping across lately when a little lack of character would make my life a lot easier.  There’s a big difference between “picking your battles” because your plate is already full, versus looking the other direction when problems arise.  

Picking the best example data to demonstrate technical performance would make my life easier, but picking the worst example (which may result in a violation or issue) and trying to address it is more honest and more difficult.

Every day we decide whether the problematic corner cases in our lives are significant and worth addressing.  We decide which trend our personal character will follow.  I am realizing this trend does not increment in large obvious steps, but in small baby ones.

Molly A. Kerr

Molly is on a life long quest to figure herself out. Born to be and educated as an aerospace engineer she is also blessed to be a wife and a mom of two in the present, previously served as a full-time missionary, is consistently called to teach the youth in her ward, is eagerly though slowly doing home improvement as money and time allow, all while gradually learning how to be herself and find peace and balance somewhere in between.

Despite her attempts to make “the right” decisions in her life, she has learned to deal with some unexpected challenges over the last two decades. Total tornadoes, really. What she has discovered is that her career has taught her a lot about the Gospel and being a better mother, and the Gospel, when applied to challenges at the office, has made her a better professional. She has also learned that it is okay to be herself, and God still loves (and forgives) her for it.