I need to take a moment to thank my Dad. Growing up I didn’t appreciate what I had. My dad worked so hard to keep our large family fed, clothed and housed. We often rewarded him with more stress when he came home. But he always came home. And he took the time to teach us so many things. One of my favorite things was to help him in the garage.

Wood working

My dad loved to work with wood in his spare time. He built all kinds of things! He built a kitchen table so large we can still fit more than a dozen people around it. He built bunk beds, a couch, tables, and a lot of little things over the years. The smell of fresh sawdust still makes me smile, because it is the smell of a new and exciting project.

When I was a teenager my dad helped me make a hope chest. It was so cool! It had a seat back, or back rest, so it was a nice place to sit when it was closed. And it had storage underneath. I even made a pad for the seat, and it was so pretty. We worked on that for hours, getting the sides and back of it just right. We braced the seat, so adults could sit on it. And I sanded that thing till it was as smooth as butter. We stained it, varnished it, and it sat for years in my bedroom as a reminder of my dad’s love for me.

Camping

My parents also made sure there was a lot of camping in our lives as kids. I know now that it’s a good large family activity. But it is not an easy undertaking. There is so much preparation and work in camping. But we learned a lot and made so many good memories.

Back then I felt like the skills they were teaching us were preparation for some new age pioneer adventure. It wasn’t. But you know how kids are. Everything is an adventure. We learned how to build fires, whittle, and set up tents. I was a boy scout and didn’t even know it!

As an adult I can look back and appreciate how much effort those adventures must have taken. But we still did them on a regular basis. I have so many good memories of road trips and camping as a kid. My Dad is still taking his grand kids camping, and they are getting to build fun memories and become wilderness survival experts like we did.

On Mother’s Day I wrote about the mixed emotions I have surrounding Mother’s Day. And maybe it’s because I am not a man, but Father’s Day seems much simpler to me.  There are not as many conflicting roles in a man’s life. He is a provider, friend, father, and guide. I am so glad to have such a good dad. He has always been my rock when I needed guidance.

Blessings

As a young adult, I often felt unsure about decisions I needed to make. And my dad was always there to listen and give council. And as an LDS father, he embraced his role as a servant of God. I always got a blessing before school started. Whenever I was sick, he was there to give me a healing blessing. And when I needed the comfort only my Heavenly Father could provide; my dad was there to be the voice in a father’s blessing too.

Fathers blessings were one of the greatest sources of strength for me. I was out there trying to figure out the world. And I was trying to become independent. But having God’s guidance at that time was vital. And my dad was always there to provide that conduit to the Lord whenever I needed it. I am so grateful that he kept himself worthy. I never had to doubt that he would be ready to give me a blessing if I asked for it.

Happy Father’s Day

To read more of Patty’s articles, click here.

Dear fathers of the world, you need to know how much your kids love you. Even if you feel you have screwed up, they look up to you and appreciate anything and everything you do for them. Keep going. Keep trying. Life is hard but always keep your kids in mind. They are the ones who benefit most from your hard work, and they will never forget your efforts.

Dads matter more than you realize. You make a difference. And your actions are recorded in heaven. May you keep blessing your family, and all of the human family by your good works and your love. Happy Father’s Day

Patty Sampson

Patty thrives on all things creative. You’ll often find her in the garden pretending she is a suburban farmer. She loves meeting new people, and is devoted to her friends and family. In her heart she is a Midwesterner even though life has moved her all over the country. She believes in “blooming where you’re planted” and has found purpose in every place she has been. She has a deep and abiding love for the Savior and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And she loves editing LDS Blogs because it is a constant spiritual uplift. Not many people can say their job builds their witness of the Savior.

Remember the classic old movie set in the depression of the mid-1930s. A 12-year-old boy who has very little money decides to get up early on Christmas morning to do the farm chores for his dad. My favorite part is when the father learns of the gift his son gave him and emotionally says: “Do you know I have never seen you children when you first came down Christmas morning?  Never. I was always out in the barn. Now I thank you son, and I will remember this every year for as long as I live.” It still chokes me up when I watch it. And then I nostalgically remember the gift my father has given me.

It is a gift that lasts a lifetime.

I still remember that particular program fondly today. You see, when I was a 12-year-old boy, my family made a move to the country so that we could experience the good life…or at least that’s what we called it then. Life on the homestead required lots of hard work and dedication. The novelty of the animals and farm life wore off quickly, but the focus on working the land and relishing family has lasted a lifetime.

Perhaps this is particularly poignant to me today because I used to watch this story as a child, and then I had the opportunity to live it. Farm work was difficult. It took me away from friends and activities common for a young city boy. I remember sometimes feeling robbed back in those days.

The others at school lived in fine houses and their families drove cool cars. They wore the most fashionable clothing, and life for them seemed simpler and better in some way. I envied the other students at the time, because they could attend sporting events, be involved in the extracurricular activities, and have the fine things in life…or at least that’s what I thought.

When we still lived in Salt Lake City, Utah before our move to the country we used to watch ‘The Walton’s’. Do you remember that program? The series is an American television classic about a family in rural Virginia during the Great Depression and World War II. Every Thursday night, they breathed the farm life we wanted so dearly into our home.

My mother was particularly fond of this show. I think she hoped that someday we could experience life in the country like that she pictured in her heart of hearts. Her imagination, as eloquent and beautiful as it was, didn’t fully capture the ecstasy of life on the farm. It has taken me a life time to appreciate what we had.

The amazing thing about all this as I look back now is that my mother’s dream of living off the land in the country was fully realized. The experience changed our circumstances then and literally every day of our lives afterward. She and Dad did it for us children, because they loved us. That lesson has carried me through the hard times and the good times during my life.

My father was a remarkable man. I miss his companionship every day, but the gift he and my mother gave me supports me constantly. It gives me happiness when times are tough, resilience in the face of hardship, and hope in the midst of despair. This gift has given me direction throughout my entire life. It was their lives and example that made me who I am today.

The important gift my father gave us all is a love for the Savior Jesus Christ.

Paint what is in your heart. Whether it is a brush or byte or a sculpture or your example, let your influence for what is good and right permeate time and proximity to bless others’ lives. Because we are all artists, every deed we do is a stroke in our painting.

And remember that the greatest portrait of all time is the life of a common carpenter whose love and sacrifice changed the world forever.

Yes. The greatest portrait is the love and sacrifice of a common carpenter. And like him, every deed is a stroke in the painting of our lives.

I tend to look back to what brought me here.

It does matter.

Because of them we can.

These are still great memories and treasured experiences for me and my family. But I am getting the sense that this is just an inkling of what is coming right around the corner. Allow me to use a personal experience to demonstrate.

Actually, my first involvement with computers was in college. I took an information management course wherein we learned about computer software and spreadsheets at the time. It was all new for me, complicated, and a bit mysterious. Take for instance the idea of a spreadsheets that could grow beyond the bounds of the screen to “limitless” rows and columns. Perhaps that doesn’t seem so miraculous now, but at the time it was mind-boggling.

So subsequent to this course, we began learning about spreadsheets and word processing and databases for our college assignments. Back in those days we would have to get up early in the morning to get to the computer lab to complete our assignments and print our papers before other students occupied the computers. Finally, I purchased a computer of my own and a dot matrix printer so I could begin using them for my assignments in college. My brother was still typing everything out on a typewriter, which was common for the time.

Though my computer was the peak of technology at the time, it sounds unimpressive now. My computer had 256K of memory and two 5 1/4” floppy drives and a monochrome screen. After some time, I advanced to a 30 MB hard drive, which was enormous for that day. That was long before the Internet, and even when that technology did come to public homes, it was generally dialup access to the Internet, slow, and archaic when compared to the standards of today.

Cable, wifi, broadband 15Mgps, and dual broadband are common today, and Internet speeds seemingly increase daily by nearly 10 times or more faster. Dual broadband transfers data upwards of 100 Mgps or 200 Mgps or more. Blogs, social media, posts, messaging and instant data is everywhere.

To read more of Walter’s articles, click the picture.

Cell phones are widely adopted today and enjoy prolific use. Their capacity and speed is often far superior to anything we have previously experienced. Contact between loved ones, videos, pictures, snapchats, and messaging are abundant and common at home, work, and social scenes. Personal and family histories are being created at lightning speeds.

I have mentioned before about applying for a job to help build a system to share the family history records at BYU with other schools. The task seemed enormous. Just a couple years later the Internet exploded to the scene and what we anticipated as sharing between universities became common place access to the media from within our own homes. And the end is nowhere in sight. Technological developments continue to outdo past achievements at phenomenal speeds.

What’s next? We can only imagine, but know that the discoveries and inventions will move the work of the Lord forward at lightning fast rapidity.

And the task of writing and saving your personal and family history will be more accessible, easy to do, and prolific than anything you ever imagined.

Your history is waiting to be discovered. It too is a gift.

Embrace it.

Walter Penning

In 1989, Walter Penning formed a consultancy based in Salt Lake City and empowered his clients by streamlining processes and building a loyal, lifetime customer base with great customer service. His true passion is found in his family. He says the best decision he ever made was to marry his sweetheart and have children. The wonderful family she has given him and her constant love, support, and patience amid life’s challenges is his panacea.

We all have them. Stalwart, brave, and courageous men who provide hope, offer encouragement, and give us notable illustrations of faith. Unfortunately, these persons are not representative of many of the boys, fathers, and sons we frequently see on television or glamorized in the cinematic arts. Frequently, the men broadcast to the world today are not models of good behavior. And why is that?

Fathers are frequently considered bumbling fools in much of our society today. Some are portrayed as weak followers, non-contributors, and wishy-washy. Others are outright mean, evil, and self-absorbed. You don’t have to look very far to see what I mean. Cartoon depictions, actors, and a few glamorized sports heroes easily fall into this category. But the representation I believe is misguided and in error.

Some may justify this portrayal by saying it is all in good fun and humor. I think it is much more serious than that. People are challenged in many areas of life, and mistaken perceptions of both men and women are prolific, but in recent years it seems the implication is that fathers are incapable of guiding a family, inept providing for their loved ones, and do not want or cannot stay morally clean and upright.

But that is an inaccurate depiction of the men in my life.

Stripling Warriors

I enjoy the prolific examples of courageous men from the Book of Mormon and other holy writ. We have noteworthy illustrations in nearly every chapter. Nephi, Moroni, Mormon, Teancum, Helaman, Lehi, Paul, Peter, Moses and many, many more. Everyone I have ever met who knows the story of the 2000 Stripling Warriors admires them for their courage, fortitude, and faith. Young men in the Church have always looked up to them and perhaps patterned their lives after their example—these young sons weren’t bumbling fools.

We have men of a sound mind and doctrine in our midst today, as well. I hope you are fortunate to have a father and grandfathers of this caliber. I hope you admire your sons and their friends and compliment them for the fine men they are becoming.

Strippling Warriors

It is my prayer that your sons-in-law will become part of this incredible force for good, who cherish your daughters and treat all women with respect, strengthening your entire family. That is my hope, but I realize that everyone doesn’t have that kind of resource, yet. Whether you do or you don’t, you can be a pioneer in this area by serving and helping those around you and let others glean hope and courage from your example. We all have been blessed with advocates.

I have a number of incredible examples in my life. I imagine you do as well in yours. President Gordon B Hinckley took the Church into international prominence in many ways by his efforts to extend temple building worldwide and speak openly in high visibility programs.

These included 60 Minutes with Mike Wallace and the Larry King Live show. These hard-hitting news anchors reported admiration and respect for President Hinckley even in the relatively short time they had together. Young and old admire President Hinckley for his example, honesty, and courage. And he is not alone.

When asked to comment about the refined, aged men that lead the Church today, President Hinckley said “Isn’t it wonderful to have a man of maturity at the head, a man of judgment, who isn’t blown about by every wind of doctrine?”

To watch the full interview, click here.

As I was preparing this article, I stumbled across a Youtube link of 200 Popular Videos of Gordon B Hinckley. Some I have seen, many I have not. But as I contemplate the vast treasure of good, uplifting, inspirational messages from him and dozens of other prophets, leaders, teachers, and role models, I believe these resources have been made available as a benefit to us in these tumultuous days. As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church.

Gratefully, we have all had good examples of this kind of men be it a teacher, a mentor, a friend, home teacher, or a young mens president. We have faithful leaders at every level of this church who we can look to for strength, a good example, and in times of need seek help or encouragement. There are fine men at work, school, in government, serving our nation and communities, in our homes, and other places, who are loved and admired throughout the world… and many, many more I haven’t room to mention.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson

These men are a blessing to our families and both willing and able to be worthy role models. Though they do not seek out this position of admiration, they earn it. Elder D Todd Christofferson remarked that these men teach social and other skills and help us become better and happier people. He listed just a few of the ways and lessons men of maturity teach our youth:

• How to participate in a conversation
• Interacting with others
• How to relate to women and girls
• Service to others
• Being active and enjoying recreation
• How to pursue hobbies without becoming addicted
• How to correct mistakes and make better choices

Missionary work and priesthood service can be daunting and at times overwhelming, but the Lord sees fit to place responsibilities on our young men to shape and build them into leaders and role models for their peers and his Church. Life is full of challenges. The young and old can benefit from the steady hand of a seasoned leader.

I know that I have many times leaned on the shoulder of great men of influence, decency, and courage. When I consider that perhaps the most important and certainly most frequent ordinance in the church is administered weekly by the young men of the Aaronic priesthood, I recognize that these young men are preparing to offer a lifetime of service to their fellowmen and to God.

But we live in a temporal world with difficulty, pain, addictions, and hardship. Unemployment is just one example of circumstances that try a man’s integrity, stretch his heart strings, and often result in a difficult situation beyond his control. A Church welfare pamphlet describes the circumstance this way:

“A man out of work is of special moment to the Church because, deprived of his inheritance, he is on trial as Job was on trial—for his integrity. As days lengthen into weeks and months and even years of adversity, the hurt grows deeper. … The Church cannot hope to save a man on Sunday if during the week it is a complacent witness to the crucifixion of his soul.”

To watch his full talk, click here.

President Gordon B. Hinckley once said:

“It will be a marvelous day, my brethren—it will be a day of fulfillment of the purposes of the Lord—when our priesthood quorums become an anchor of strength to every man belonging thereto, when each such man may appropriately be able to say, ‘I am a member of a priesthood quorum of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I stand ready to assist my brethren in all of their needs, as I am confident they stand ready to assist me in mine. … Working together, we can stand, without embarrassment and without fear, against every wind of adversity that might blow, be it economic, social, or spiritual.’”

In light of the challenges before us despite our best efforts, things don’t always work out as we have planned. Sage men who have experience, strength, and wisdom can help us through the “wind of adversity” that is sure to come.

To read more of Walter’s articles, click the picture.

My father was that kind of man. In his journal, he recounts an experience with one such person that has stayed with him his whole life:

When I had my dog, I would ride my bike to the grocery store a few blocks from our house, and ask the butcher for a dog bone. He would give me one, and I would lay it across my handlebars as I pedaled my bike home. One day as I was riding home, a young man came along. He was one of the nicest looking men I had ever seen. He impressed me because he had a suit on, and because he smiled and stopped to talk to me.

I was surprised. No one paid much attention to me—I was just a dumb little kid. He asked my name, and I told him what I was doing. I told him about my dog and he was interested. He thought it was so neat that I would get bones for my dog. We had a nice conversation and then he went on his way. Later, I learned that he was the big brother of a friend of mine. He had just returned from a mission. That’s the way a lot of missionary’s are, out in the mission field, and hopefully when they get back home.

He really made that day for me because of the interest he showed. I had never had anyone do that before. I thought about that experience, and felt it would be great in life to try and give a lift when I could to people that are blue, feel unimportant, or are lonesome, the way he lifted me that day. I’ve tried to do that, ever since that experience.

We needn’t do something tremendous to have significant impact in people’s lives. We can simply follow the example of the Savior and do what he would do in that same circumstance. That is tremendous.

And as I close my thoughts, I want to echo the words of Elder D. Todd Christofferson, which he shared in a fairly recent conference. He addressed the men of the Church, young and old, who hold the priesthood of God:

Yes, brethren, we have work to do. Thank you for the sacrifices you make and the good you do. Keep going, and the Lord will help you. At times you may not know quite what to do or what to say—just move forward. Begin to act, and the Lord assures that “an effectual door shall be opened for [you].” Begin to speak, and He promises, “You shall not be confounded before men; for it shall be given you in the very hour, yea, in the very moment, what ye shall say.”  

It is true that we are in many ways ordinary and imperfect, but we have a perfect Master who wrought a perfect Atonement, and we have call upon His grace and His priesthood. As we repent and purge our souls, we are promised that we will be taught and endowed with power from on high.

The Church and the world and women are crying for men who are developing their capacity and talents, who are willing to work and make sacrifices, who will help others achieve happiness and salvation. They are crying, “Rise up, O men of God!” God help us to do it.

We have access to literally hundreds of talks and sermons given by these fine men. We can research them by time frame, individual speaker, or topic. They are available on nearly any device at any moment, anytime, and almost anywhere.

Our dear prophet today President Thomas S Monson shared his encouragement and strength with LDS women everywhere when he gave the following advice:

“My dear sisters, your Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there.

 

“As we seek our Heavenly Father through fervent, sincere prayer and earnest, dedicated scripture study, our testimonies will become strong and deeply rooted. We will know of God’s love for us. We will understand that we do not ever walk alone. I promise you that you will one day stand aside and look at your difficult times, and you will realize that He was always there beside you. I know this to be true in the passing of my eternal companion—Frances Beverly Johnson Monson.

 

“I leave with you my blessing. I leave with you my gratitude for all the good you do and for the lives you lead. That you may be blessed with every good gift is my prayer in the name of our Savior and Redeemer, even Jesus Christ the Lord, amen.”

The Master Jesus Christ has set the pattern in all things. He has called all men to follow his pattern with this decree and answered his own question:

“Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.”

Jesus Christ is our Master, our Advocate, our Friend. He is the Son of God, the Prince of Peace, Counsellor, Wonderful. We are blessed today with literally hundreds of testimonies of him. Through his prophet and chosen leaders, the scriptures, and our ability to follow him and further his work and mission, we can learn of and follow him every day.

Walter Penning

In 1989, Walter Penning formed a consultancy based in Salt Lake City and empowered his clients by streamlining processes and building a loyal, lifetime customer base with great customer service. His true passion is found in his family. He says the best decision he ever made was to marry his sweetheart and have children. The wonderful family she has given him and her constant love, support, and patience amid life’s challenges is his panacea.

We brought the camera down to Castle Valley with us when my oldest two were still small children–not knowing exactly what we were going to capture. But we knew we should begin filming something for our personal family history. The whole family loved spending time on the farm with my parents.  They had enthusiastically adopted the names of Granny and Grandpa, embraced fondly by their grandchildren. Well, it so happened one morning that I had the camera out just as Grandpa was preparing to go milk the jersey cow Janey, so I started filming.

My Dad, AKA ‘Grandpa’, saw what I was doing and played along. Rather than just completing the steps as he prepared for milking, he began narrating the incident in behalf of those that would soon be watching the video. “So first, we get the milking pail and put grain in this bucket for Janey to munch on. –One, two, three cans, like that.” He scooped the grain from a large metal garbage can, and in his characteristic, animated way he performed the task with a smile on his face and warmth that radiated to his audience to be. “We keep the washing bucket and rag here, so we will bring that along with us as well.” I loved being with my Dad and capturing this experience on video cassette was really great.

He continued with his daily routine, entering the milking shed, positioning Janey, speaking softly and affectionately to her as he sat down on his three-leg stool, and washed her udder before milking. As the streams of milk flowed into the pail, the steel of the bucket resounded with vibration until the milk shortly began filling the container. His hands were moving rapidly and never slowed to rest his weary muscles. After years of milking, Dad’s grip was firm and the strength of his hands and forearms now lasted longer than the milking. It wasn’t always that way, as I well knew. But over years of milking twice a day, 7 days-a-week, 365 days-a-year, Dad’s endurance, consistency, and strength shown through.

Then he began telling a story about his life. I continued recording as he told about his mission in Nova Scotia where he served as a young missionary without purse or script. Dad said that back then, missions had the option of choosing that method from among others, and that meant he depended on a kind soul to give him and his companion a room and a meal in exchange for preaching the gospel. Most days that worked fine, but occasionally he and his companion went hungry and even spent some nights under the stars. At other times, they boiled fresh lobsters in large tin cans on the beach. He shared with us many other experiences, as well.

Grandpa had the uncanny ability to draw people in with his stories, especially when they were about real-life events and included fun and interesting observations about life’s lessons. This moment was no exception, and not surprisingly, this became the favorite video tape for our children. They watched it constantly, literally every day. That way, they were able to enjoy the farm, the animals, and Grandpa from long distance. Eventually the tape became so worn and battered that it began showing signs of wear. Before long the sound on the tape faded in-and-out until it altogether ceased. Later, the video was misplaced before I had a chance to transfer it to a DVD. But in our memories, we will forever cherish the numerous viewings on that tape.

I have many favorite memories spending time with my father. I remember that he was scoutmaster for a period of time when I was a boy. He took his scouts on monthly camping activities, and of course I wanted to go with him every time. He listened to my pleas with empathy but declined knowing that I could not go with the older boys to these regular activities.  Thinking it would upset the boys or leaders or something, he resisted my appeals.  But I continued asking. I’m not sure if the rules were different back then, but scoutmasters today are allowed to take their own 11-year-old boys on camp-outs, so my dad said “OK Walter. I know you want to go on a camp out with me and the scout troop, so I will make you a deal. If you help us earn the necessary money for our super summer activity, I will let you come on our two-week-long trip to the Grand Canyon.” Of course I was elated!

We earned money that summer by trimming the grass around headstones at local cemeteries. That in-and-of-itself was quite an experience for a lad. I got to spend time with the boys I admired and with my Dad. What could be better than that? That same summer we went on the promised camping trip. We visited Bryce Canyon, Zions, and Hoover Dam on our way down to the Grand Canyon. We setup camp, had flag ceremonies, cleaned up the camp sites, and always left the area better and cleaner than when we arrived. We played games like Capture the Flag, had uniform checks, and enjoyed Scoutmaster Minute every night.

Interesting how the things one remembers are not what you would expect to recall at the time. It was fantastic. I was with the older boys, and the trip to and from the canyon was a highlight.  We sang camp songs, had fun, and laughed the whole way. We packed dehydrated food for the 26-mile, three-day hike from the north rim to the south rim of the Grand Canyon. I will always remember how big the Colorado River is at the bottom of the canyon. It’s enormous!! We returned from the south rim to the north rim, 3 or 4 at-a-time, in a small propeller plane.  It took us to where the parked cars were waiting for us and then we continued our journey home. What a great trip!  And I got to do it with my dad.

To read more of Walter’s articles, click the picture.

With seven siblings, spending one-on-one time with Dad was rare. To alleviate this problem, Dad instigated ‘Dad’s Night Out’.  It was simply a regular weekly time when one of the children would get to spend an evening with dad doing something we liked. I’m not really sure what others did with Dad on their night out.  But I was young, and we kept things simple. I remember going to Fernwood’s for ice cream on 23rd East. Just being with dad was a treat.

These and many other recollections of my Dad have become treasured memories that I have reflected on often.  I’m lucky to have spent time with him over my entire life.

Walter Penning

In 1989, Walter Penning formed a consultancy based in Salt Lake City and empowered his clients by streamlining processes and building a loyal, lifetime customer base with great customer service. His true passion is found in his family. He says the best decision he ever made was to marry his sweetheart and have children. The wonderful family she has given him and her constant love, support, and patience amid life’s challenges is his panacea.

I miss my dad very much, yet I know we have only been separated temporarily.

As a young father, I tried to fulfill my role as patriarch to my family. The title sounded important, but the role was intimidating to say the least. I tried to teach my family about life and the gospel. It was a monumental task for a new father. But my sweet wife was eager and supportive, which gave me incentive and inspired me to try to be the person she and my children deserved.

We attempted to follow the counsel of the brethren: family home evening, regular church attendance, honoring the priesthood, and making a happy home were all part of our plan. We loved and prepared our daughters to become faithful mothers and encouraged my son to serve an honorable, full-time mission.

But looking back now it was surprising to me that at the time my emotions were so close to the surface when my son was leaving to serve his mission. I worked my whole married life to prepare him for his service in the mission field and tried to set an example he would be willing and eager to emulate. I prepared him for this very purpose—to send him on his mission. Just recently graduated from high school and eager to change the world, he was at the pinnacle of his life to that point. I knew it was right for him to go, yet I couldn’t believe the time was already here. I wasn’t ready to be finished with that part of life. How could I be so selfish to want him to stay at home with us?

At times like those, I would defer to my father for comfort and solace. Somehow he understood my emotions better than even I did. I have been very fortunate to have a father of this magnitude in my life. Yet I can’t talk of him in the past tense any more then than I could speak of my son while on his mission in the past tense. My dad is part of our lives now as much today as he ever was, and through his legacy, love, and journal letters, he continues to influence his family—and my family– today.  

He loves his children. He adores his grandchildren. And he honors and respects his wife, my mother. He taught me many things, but if I were to think of one particular gospel message that stands out from the many lessons I learned from him, I may choose the principle that the first shall be last; and the last shall be first.

29 And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s,

 30 But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.

 31 But many that are first shall be last; and the last first.

Mark 10:29-31

I remember struggling with the meaning of this verse when I first read it. In my mind’s eye, I approached my father when I was very young having read this scripture and wondered “How could this be?” It didn’t sound right to my young ears. I saw in my mind a line of people and those at the end of the line would move in front of those standing at the head of the line, and I thought “That’s not fair.” I lamented “What is this all about?” The words he shared with me that day though comforting have slipped into history, but the life he lived will forever stand as an example.  

I have come to realize as a man that there is nothing fair about my salvation…fair would be justice for my foolish actions and punishment for my thoughtless mistakes. But instead because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we do not have to receive what is justly ours when we make mistakes that hurt others and fail our families. We can be forgiven and follow the commandments afresh bringing more joy and hope and ecstasy than we ever thought possible.

Instead of being paid what I deserve, I receive kindness, opportunity, and mercy. Getting what I deserve is not the result I want, and it isn’t the gift Jesus Christ is offering me. That is the beautiful truth of mercy. I didn’t realize this as a boy, however. But I understand it much better now as a man.

To read more of Walter’s articles, click the picture.

Gratefully, I remembered this teaching and took it on faith when I first heard it until many years later when I have come to understand this principle better and see it manifest myself in my family and those I really care about. True, life will throw us some curve balls, but even then the Great Plan of Happiness works for all situations and will not rob mercy.

Considering the challenge it was to send my son on a mission, you might think that it would be nigh impossible for me to part with my daughters and give them away in marriage. Not at all, because I have learned that instead of losing a daughter, I am gaining a son. Now I have a family of many wonderful sons and daughters, just as we were promised.

Happiness is the very purpose of the plan of which we are part.

Other links:

The Laborers in the vineyard – Elder Jeffrey R Holland

Boys Need Heroes Close By – President Spencer W. Kimball

Walter Penning

In 1989, Walter Penning formed a consultancy based in Salt Lake City and empowered his clients by streamlining processes and building a loyal, lifetime customer base with great customer service. His true passion is found in his family. He says the best decision he ever made was to marry his sweetheart and have children. The wonderful family she has given him and her constant love, support, and patience amid life’s challenges is his panacea.

In this day of multimedia, videos portray thoughts, feelings, and sentiments better than words alone. Not sure exactly why, but I love these accolades. You will too—especially if you’re a father.

Enjoy!

#DearDad

First fatherhood moments

#RealDadMoments

Care Makes A Man Stronger

Dads in the Military Care

Fatherhood

Clay

Sentiments about Dad

There are hundreds, perhaps thousands more. As I was writing this article, I googled “Every Dad is a hero, because he is someone’s father.” It brought up dozens more. I read an article written by a son about why he is proud of his dad.  It’s called “The Story of My Hero”. There are many more inspiring stories…

Read ‘em. Write ‘em. Love ‘em. But whatever you do, remember to celebrate dad.

A few more…

I’ve Put It Off Too Long

Something Important to Do

These two final videos don’t load like the rest.  But if you click the link here, you’ll get to see an awesome Father’s Day video featuring photos and music members have shared with the LDS Church.  And if you click here you’ll see a beautiful video about the role and importance of fathers.

Walter Penning

In 1989, Walter Penning formed a consultancy based in Salt Lake City and empowered his clients by streamlining processes and building a loyal, lifetime customer base with great customer service. His true passion is found in his family. He says the best decision he ever made was to marry his sweetheart and have children. The wonderful family she has given him and her constant love, support, and patience amid life’s challenges is his panacea.

Have you seen the Coke commercial where the guy is tied to the stake before a firing squad?  He’s given one last request.  He asks for something and after a slight pause, when he is about to die, he says “and” making his last request actually several including a cold drink.

It isn’t a bad idea to start imagining the end of your life.  The sooner we realize that some successes just won’t be good enough if we don’t have others as well, the better off we’ll be.

President David O. McKay, the ninth president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said,  “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”  It pays to look ahead and ask, “If I get my goal, will I be filled with more regrets than celebration? How can I prevent that?

What driving goals and ambitions we had may later feel hollow and empty if we didn’t also develop relationships and cherish people on our way.  My father was an entrepreneur and an inventor, and he was a husband, and he was a father of nine children and he was a good man that loved freedom, his country and his God.  He was genuine, caring and helpful to others.  I’m so thankful for his example of how to be a success in many ways.  His attitude was contagiously positive and his actions backed up his words.  He always said,

“There is always room at the top.”  –Lynn H. Smith

Love at Home

His words continue to encourage us. His decisions and actions gave me many of my most precious gifts.  He gave me my mother, my life, my siblings, and my home.  He encouraged my strengths and my education.  He supported us financially so, in that way, he gave me my mother twice.  My life growing up was much less stressful and more secure than it could have been because she was there.  He showed me how to treat other people with genuine caring and sincerity.  If you had his attention, you had all of it.  It was a very sweet prize.

I learned a lot by watching my parent’s example.  One of the most secure things I had growing up was my parent’s visible love for each other.  My father would dip my mother backwards in the entryway making a big show of the kiss for all of us kids.  My parents would hold hands and were visibly happy to see each other even unexpectedly.  A strong, secure marriage is a hard thing to understand and see now a days especially since many women and men seem to be fighting to be “king of the hill.”

To play “king of the hill” all you need is a small hill.  A pile of leaves might do or a hill of dirt.  You climb to the top and push off anyone who approaches and tries to take your place at the pinnacle. Children seem to naturally know and enjoy this game.  Sometimes they work together to push the big guy off the top.

In so many ways we never seem to outgrow that game.  Why are we so competitive?  Jealous people seem to love to take down the leader, the ones with the great grades, the ones “making me look bad” by comparison.  If you are going to aim for the top, you have to expect a lot of hands grabbing at your ankles and trying to drag you down.

Sometimes marriages seem like a constant shoving match to be “king of the hill.”  Even intellectually it is hard for us to grasp how two people could both be the boss and equal.  How is it possible?  How do we do it without pushing the other over or down?

“Is there always room at the top?”

How can we have a calm and happy, loving marriage?  How can we truly share in the success of all our other, individual accomplishments?  Many give the advice to make your spouse number one in your life.  I think that is true, but also confusing.  How can I make you number one, but also be number one?  If I put you up on a pedestal to make you number one, doesn’t that make me small?  It certainly doesn’t sound equal.  It doesn’t sound like there is really room for both of us on the top of that hill.

There are, in general, two different kinds of relationships.  There is a parent to child type of relationship which is not equal and there is the peer relationship which is equal as long as both are valued and it is truly a reciprocal, healthy relationship.  There is nothing wrong with a parent/child type of relationship.  We use it all the time in relationships with our boss, the police, a teacher, or a judge.  There are times when we are not equal in authority and it is not harming in general to give deference to a person in authority that has our welfare in mind.  Having those in authority around us that enforce rules and teach us provides order and safety to all of us, even as adults.  Even in marriage we at times need to defer to each other to keep the peace.

But, if we are leaders together, and I make you number one, doesn’t that disrupt the equal, reciprocal relationship and put me in the child’s role?  It might if you think there can only be one king of the hill. But what if there really is room at the top for two?  What does that look like?

I’ve explored it because if you are married, I don’t think you will feel successful if you gain the whole world but are miserable at home.  If you are married with children, I think there is no greater gift you can give them than to love their mother or their father if you can.  You can be replaced almost everywhere but you can not be replaced in your family.

For example, my children are all adopted.  We are their mother and father that they have had almost all of their lives.  But, we can not and will not ever replace their birth parents.  My children have both. If you get divorced, and your spouse remarries, that person will take your role, maybe, but that person will never be and can never be you.  At home, we are irreplaceable.

So, if this is the one place we can never, truly be replaced, someone could do our jobs or our role, but never be us, it pays to figure out how to do it well.  But, it is so difficult.  My parents often seemed to have it figured out.  They had one bank account.  They were a team.  But, I needed something more.  I needed a vision of what it should look like.

One and One do not make Two.

The picture I came up with was a new number, a new entity altogether.

We are each number one and neither of us is a one.

We are a number eleven crowning the top of the hill at home.

Give yourself, your spouse and your children a success you will never, ever regret.  Fulfill your spouse’s most important requests now and find your way to the top together.

I wish you all a very happy father’s day.

Simple Math

One and One

make three.

I know my math

is fine–

Because “we” is better

than two halfs together

and

marriage is

divine.

Self Improvement- To read more of DarEll’s articles, click here.

Namaste,

DarEll S. Hoskisson

DarEll Hoskisson

DarEll S. Hoskisson loves to do hard things, but not too hard. She shares her own challenges, goals and experiences as she guides you into a realistic path of self-reflection and self-improvement. She shares tips on how to find, know and trust yourself so you can decide if other’s suggestions are right for you.

DarEll has the world a little upside down—where work is play and play is work. She actually thinks other people’s problems are fun to try to solve and lights up with a personal challenge. She loves people, harmony, and excellence. She also loves useful things like tools and ideas that make work faster, easier and more fun.

DarEll married in 1993 and graduated from BYU (1995) with a bachelor’s degree in English and Secondary Education. Since then she was adopted by 5 children and has worked with many non-profits. She is currently a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor—leading pilates and yoga at her local YMCA.

DarEll lives in Florida where she enjoys her family, nature, her work, and encouraging people to live well.

She periodically posts her poems, what she is learning, and service opportunities on her personal blogs:

https://personalabridgements.wordpress.com and https://darellhoskisson.wordpress.com

We laughed!  Raising the same child in the same house has apparently yielded different experiences. When there is something that our Down syndrome son refuses to do, is too ill to do, or wouldn’t enjoy to the point of negatively impacting all participants, somebody has had to stay home.  And although we make the decision one event at a time, I am usually that one who stays behind.  So when she asked – I guess the number added up pretty quickly in my mind.

Divide and conquer . . .

To be clear, divide and conquer is a strategy that has worked for us, that’s why we could laugh about our separate answers.  In our circumstance walking away isn’t abandoning, it’s supporting.  It is so often the only way to get done what needs to be done.  If not for the divide strategy, we would never have conquered the building of a diverse and interesting life for our other children, so it fulfills my prime directive!

The big things like camping trips I could list specifically but there are myriad other times that when looked at logically, made sense for him to go while I stayed. I suppose the one going out doesn’t notice the difference so much once the decision is made.  The verdict doesn’t always take long for example at a party or a meeting where my husband and I can communicate quickly and then split off in opposite directions, each one knowing who is on the job for Joe till the next crossing of paths . . . for us this divergence represents a togetherness of purpose, if not actual togetherness.

As he walks away I might be thinking “Thanks for letting the big kids have this good time”, or “Thanks for taking Joey out of my earshot for a while”.  “Thanks for giving me this minute to myself” is a sentiment often to be appreciated.  It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with him/them, but every mother of any child who can’t be left alone knows what a sustenance a little time can be.  So whether my husband is spending time with our other children, attending an event alone, or entertaining Joey alone, the time we are apart can be a gift to me.

How might a dad feel . . .

When Joey was first diagnosed with Down syndrome 6 months before he was born, I remember the genetic counselor saying that having a handicapped child can be especially hard on dads.  The reasons are complex:  dread of not knowing what to do, distress over being different, anxiety for the child’s self-worth, fear that the child will not become independent, do things that might embarrass, or be seen as less than other’s children.  She said these were all things to watch for and could have a destructive effect on the father’s ability to bond with the child.  My husband was away on business during this meeting but I took it to heart and paid attention when the time came.

From the first moment one could have shouted from the rooftops “Not to worry!” – my husband’s attachment to our handicapped son has been a blessing to me.  I can’t recall any specific events but I know that along with the countless times we have had to work separately in our days, there have also been thousands of times that I have been there to observe those two together.  Behind my eyes is the whisper of the counselor’s caution and even if my husband noticed he wouldn’t know that my tearful smile is in gratitude for how far away we are from what she said might be possible.  The love that my husband has for this son is not one bit different than he has for our other children.  In caring for Joey, he does now and has always demonstrated the personification of the expression “all the feeling of a tender parent” (Book of Mormon, 1 Ne. 8:37).  They have routines and a verbal shorthand that my son loves and which gives him a great part of his identity.  Building a treehouse in the yard, sharing the Little League baseball team Joey’s been on for 15 years, or working the same puzzles for the umpteenth time, they do have a lot of fun and are great pals.

What’s in dad’s mind . . .

Playing a “get-to-know-you” game with a church youth group, my husband once drew the question “If you could hear what someone else is thinking for a day, who would you choose and why?”  With all the people in human history as possibilities, he chose “Joey” as his answer.   I don’t think I am clever enough to have thought of it but of course it is the perfect answer.

Even though we live in the same house and have the same children, our experiences are unique. Even though we are working toward the same goals, much of the time we take different paths.  Though we’re not always in the same place at the same time, it is easy for me to say of him: “I know that you ‘know how to give good gifts unto your children’ (Luke 11:13).”  I celebrate that in him – it is one of the greatest gifts he could ever give to me too.

To read more articles by Jane, please click here.

Divide . . . doesn’t seem like a way to bring a family together, but it has worked that way for us!

Jane Thurston

I’ve just been thinking lately… what if… (yes I know this is silly) my Dad were suddenly to show up one day, where would he find me? What would he find me doing? Would he be pleased or disappointed with me and where I am at in my life? How well am I going about my Father’s business as I wait for a reunion with him one day?

I determined that I first needed to know what Dad’s business was on earth so that I could check myself and my progress. As I pondered the thought I narrowed it down to a list of five things: First Dad was about the business of bringing others closer to Christ. Second, He was about the business of being kind and offering service to other people. Third, He was about the business of family. Fourth, Dad was about the business of learning. Fifth, Dad was about the business of bugs.

First, dad brought others closer to Christ. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know he drew me closer to the Savior. I remember some very important long in-depth conversations we had about spiritual things. We used to sing the hymns together, talk about our favorite scriptures, what we learned in church, and how to gain a testimony. Dad’s challenge to read the Book of Mormon was the one that first made me attempt to read and pray for myself. Dad taught me how to pray and to be specific to get specific answers.

Second, dad was kind and offered service to other people. It always made me laugh when Dad would come home from the neighbor’s house. He would suddenly be on a mission to find the car part they needed to fix their car, or to fix some problem he could see they had. People probably will never know how intently he listened to their needs. He worried about others, and when he couldn’t come up with a solution he would think for a very long time about what he could do to find someone who could.

Third, dad was about the business of family. He loved all of us. He used to love to sit around and talk about each member of our immediate family, and extended family. He talked about what he learned from his siblings and his parents. He always told us that family should come first. He wasn’t perfect at making that happen all the time, but we always knew it was his desire. One journal entry I read after his passing told of a day when he put a VFW meeting before my 8th grade graduation. He wrote how mad I was, and how it humbled him to think he had put someone before me. Looking back I laugh at my own selfishness, but appreciate his concern because it taught me the value of putting my family first.

Fourth, Dad was about the business of learning. He always wanted to know more. His pile of do it yourself books was tremendous! He couldn’t get enough. He taught himself to fix our cars so that he could save money. He taught himself to build a deck. He taught himself to use computers and became quite efficient at them. While he taught himself, he taught me to value learning and becoming something more. He believed in more than a formal education, he believed in lifelong learning.

The Single Life
To read more of Ashley’s articles, click the picture.

Fifth, Dad was about the business of bugs. Quite literally, he was an exterminator. He studied that as well and always tried to learn the newest and best ways to protect people and their homes. He didn’t only kill the pests though; he was often looking for bugs in his own life and trying to get rid of them. Over and over in his journal he “declared war on Satan”. In my mind, there isn’t a bigger bug than Satan, and his influence surely should be extinguished from our lives.

While I have been checking and rating myself on how I am doing, I won’t share with you where I am. However, I invite you rate yourself. See if you are about your Father’s business–your earthly father, but also your Heavenly Father. Are you about your Father’s business?

Ashley Dewey

Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life.

Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language.

Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn’t feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work.

Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.

Believe me. I will be the first to admit that life doesn’t always turn out as expected. It frequently is better than we ever imagined. Take for instance my children-in-laws. I admire and respect them as my own. How great is that? These are some of the best people in the world. I couldn’t ask for a better group of children or friends. My offspring are my network of happiness. Their joys are mine.

To read more of Walter’s articles, click the picture.

Of course, we face challenges like every family. But I couldn’t ask for a better group of people with whom I can share my burdens and journey through life. And with each marriage, we are getting better and better… and closer to the Brady bunch ratio after all.

But I can’t take credit for it. Like all our blessings in life, our Father in Heaven is the source. And my wife is the important orchestrator.

Like a symphony, everyone plays a piece. And the music just keeps getting better.

It’s glorious!

Walter Penning

In 1989, Walter Penning formed a consultancy based in Salt Lake City and empowered his clients by streamlining processes and building a loyal, lifetime customer base with great customer service. His true passion is found in his family. He says the best decision he ever made was to marry his sweetheart and have children. The wonderful family she has given him and her constant love, support, and patience amid life’s challenges is his panacea.