A couple of years ago, I was sitting in a store and a woman walked by with her pre-teen boy. The boy obviously loved his mother and was staying close to her. They were talking about getting something for Dad. The woman didn’t seem particularly attractive to me. I would describe her as average. Yet, obviously, her son thought the world of her and somewhere she had a husband who probably adored her.
I thought of myself. I know I certainly didn’t look like a movie star. I felt rather plain myself. I probably even had peanut butter on my shirt someplace. Yet, I too, had children who loved me and whose world was centered on me. I had a husband who thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world. Even with the peanut butter.
One of Satan’s most powerful attacks on women these days seems to have to do with making them feel inadequate physically. If you can make a woman feel ugly on the outside and concentrate her efforts in making herself physically beautiful and acceptable by today’s standards, maybe you can distract her from making herself spiritually beautiful.
The truth of the matter is that even the woman you think is utterly beautiful will be able to tell you something that she doesn’t like about herself, some imperfection she has. And what is considered “beautiful” changes from culture to culture and from time to time. It’s difficult to achieve a goal based on such a subjective and changing standard.
Fortunately, we have the unchangeable gospel of Jesus Christ to use as a standard for measuring our beauty. He has given us the tools we need for an interior redesign, a spiritual . Here are the steps:
1. When we look in the mirror what do we see? Do we see our blemishes and imperfections? How much time do we spend trying to hide these things and make ourselves look presentable to the world?
Instead, when we look in the mirror, we need to look for signs that we have received God’s image in our countenances (Alma 5:14). We should be able to see love, faith, and the light of Christ shining from our eyes. Our face should be aglow with the happiness in the restored gospel. If there are spiritual imperfections, instead of working to hide them, we spend time repenting until we are presentable to the Lord. On our mirrors, we could put a list of things we are grateful for that we add to every day. Or maybe it might be a list of things we are good at. If you have trouble coming up with things for that list, ask a friend or family member to start the list for you and help you get started. We must remember that we are daughters of God and the most beautiful that we can be is when we reflect His love from the inside out.
2. What are we wearing and how have we adorned ourselves? The world will tell us that we need to have the latest and most fashionable clothes. Especially if we are young or have an “acceptable” figure, society expects us to flaunt it a little–a little cleavage here, a little thigh there. And we couldn’t possibly leave the house without doing our hair and putting on our makeup!
But we know that the Lord does not like it when his daughters are “haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet…”
In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon,
The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers,
The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings,
The rings, and nose jewels,
The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins,
The glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the vails.
And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty. (Isaiah 3:16-24)
Our bodies are temples and we ornament them modestly, simply, and beautifully, not with gaudiness. The prophet has asked us to wear one pair of earrings only and not to pierce our bodies anywhere else. We are not to wear tattoos. It’s actually very liberating to free ourselves from the pressure and standards of the world, keeping up with the styles that change from season to season, and the expense involved in it all. Like the righteous in the time of Alma we do not need to wear costly apparel, but we can still be neat and comely (see Alma 1:27).
We also shouldn’t focus so much on the outsides of our temples that we neglect the insides. That feeling we have that we cannot leave the house without our makeup on, do we feel just as strongly about not leaving the house without our personal scripture study or personal prayer? These things are far more important than mascara and blush.
3. Another thing that women can obsess over is our weight. Most of us have a desire to be thinner. In the United States today, the media tells us that a full figure body is not desirable, nor is the pregnant body with a big, beautiful belly, and certainly not the soft and welcoming figure of a woman who has borne children! And so we walk, we run, we work out, we go to the gym, we take aerobics classes, we diet.
But I’m not sure that God cares about what our physical measurements are. He is more concerned with the size of our hearts, the generous width of our souls, the span of our hands in service, our stature when faced with trials of faith. He certainly does care about our physical bodies and our overall health. And he has given us the word of wisdom as a guide for what we should and shouldn’t put in our body for its proper functioning.
Instead of focusing on what our bodies look like when we follow the word of wisdom, the Lord tells us what our bodies will be able to do.
And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones;
And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;
And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint.
And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them… (D&C 89:18-20)
I think we as women should focus on what our bodies can do, rather than what they look like. Is your body healthy enough to grow a baby? Is your body strong enough to help a neighbor with yard work? Do you have enough energy to play with a niece or nephew or grandchild? Do you love to dance or play basketball or run? Is your mind strong enough and sharp enough for you to learn new things and think new thoughts? If we can do these wonderful things that the Lord has given us to do, then what our bodies look like is suddenly less important than Satan would like us to believe.
The most beautiful people we can be is when our hearts are filled with the love of God and it spills out in everything we do and say, in everything we touch. And having physical beauty can in no way compensate for a dark and empty soul.
