Have you ever walked into a building with two sets of doors, an outer and an inner set? There might be a small foyer in between for dropping off wet umbrellas, etc. I am in that small foyer area, surrounded by glass. It is beautiful outside, so I’m holding the door open with my foot. But, I know I need to go inside. So, I’m pushing that door open, too. But, I can’t move at all like this. And I hover, knowing that I’m at a decision point.
This week I got fired before I got hired. It was an incredible let-down letter. The principal said that she didn’t want to hire anyone to teach at her school who didn’t want to be there. Instead of letting it discourage me, I wrote her back. Who wouldn’t want to work for a principal like that?
“Errant assumptions lie at the root of every failure” according to Peter Drucker.
I love starting new goals and projects. I also can’t stop myself from finishing them when I smell the completion just out of reach. But that long marathon of a middle drains my energy. The tedious, repetitive action part tanks my motivation.
I wish everyone could have their dreams come true early on in their life. That was my luck or blessing. I found myself in the home of my dreams with the husband of my dreams and three or four children. I had “made it” before age 25. Life should have been grand. I had everything I ever wanted, and I was miserable. It was such a surprise! I felt utterly lost. How can I have it all and feel like this?
I grew up in a garden. Like Adam and Eve had everything they needed with little effort, as a child, I did too. My parents loved each other, loved the Lord and loved me. I had food every day. Even my voracious curiosity was fed. It was a paradise.