“Oh!” I hear my children yell. “Augh!!” They holler. I hear laughing with loud exclamations as I hurry to the family room to see what is going on. They are watching “fails” on the internet and enjoying the death defying mistakes of others, some that make me hurt all over. Somehow this has become entertainment?
I have had everything I ever wanted several times in my life. A good husband, children to love, and a safe home. For years I worked to get these things worked out assuming that then, I’d constantly be happy. I’m not sorry I invested in these relationships and necessities. I’m thankful for them. But, I was wrong to assume that happiness, at least surface happiness, could be a constant in my life. I’m a very emotional person. I experience and like to experience all that living has to offer. Of course I would continue to feel the whole spectrum of emotion, and I do.
Automatic transfers might be, in my opinion, one of the greatest financial inventions. I love them because before I can get my hands on the money, part of it is tucked away for when I might really need it. I love to save without feeling the pain of parting with the money. Paying yourself first is a critical investment.
“My face was in the floor. I was crying and crying. I thought it would never end.” A friend told me of her divorce experience five years ago. “There was no place in the world I’d rather be than with him, to just hug him one more time,” said another friend who lost her husband a year ago. “There is no one I can really talk to” said a friend with anticipatory grief who is suffering with his wife, watching her die. I cry, too, for my father I suddenly lost too young, one of my best friends in all the world.
Evaluation is an art. While essential for growth, it is also potentially destructive, even devastating. Timely evaluation has the power to move us in the right direction, like adjusting our sails to catch the wind, but untimely or thoughtless judgement can have just the opposite effect.
Treading water I look something like a drowning dog. I flail around trying to do that egg beater thing with my legs and doggy paddle like I’m trying not to die (which is true). I can sort of keep my head up, but not really. I have to put my head way back to keep my nose out of the water.