When the weather was still nice where I live, I would go for early morning walks in a neighborhood close to the one where my daughter attended early-morning seminary. I chose the neighborhood because it was quiet, well kept, and well lit. It was also nice to look at as I made my laps each morning. The houses were all big and new, the lawns well manicured and landscaped. I could see the chandeliers gleaming in the grand entryways and many other telltale signs of niceties.
At first I was mildly jealous. I live in an older home that seems to be constantly falling apart around me. My lawn is often far from neat. My lighting is furnished by Wal-Mart and my draperies are all stained and dated. I thought that it would be nice to live in such a beautiful place as the neighborhood I walked in. I thought what it must be like to have such nice things and to have them stay nice. I was becoming slightly envious of those around me. Had I allowed myself to continue down this path it could have led to a great deal of discontent for the life the Lord has blessed me with.
Fortunately, it wasn’t long until I began to come to my senses. I still loved to look at the neighborhood and notice the neatly kept yards, but I also began to notice that if I did live there I would probably be inherently unhappy. That isn’t to say that I looked down on these neighbors, I just began to realize that their lives were entirely different from mine. I am not a neat freak. It would dismay me to no end to see such a beautiful house become unkempt by myself and my family as we lived our daily lives. I’m afraid I would spend all my time miserably protecting and adding to the fineness of my home rather than attending to the eternal nature of my family. I’m also not saying that those who lived in that neighborhood can’t value their family as much as I value mine. I’m just saying that I quickly realized that who I am is not the same as who they are, and that’s okay for both of us.
The next step in our journey to understanding charity is to understand the nature of envy. The Lord has said: “
We come face to face with situations that can cause us to feel envy every day. We may envy worldly possession such as a home or financial well-being, we may envy another’s talents or accomplishments, and we may envy what appears to be a superior family life than our own. Envy can take almost any form, but when we allow it into our lives the result is a soul eating cancer that can quickly overwhelm us before we are even aware of its presence.
Where there is envy the pure love of Christ can not grow and develop. It can alienate us from our fellow man and more importantly from the Lord. It restricts our spiritual growth and harms all of our relationships. It may cause us to think or act badly towards others. It keeps us from having Christ-like motives to our actions and creates a “me against them” way of thinking. It fosters negativity toward others and feeds a desire to create envy of ourselves in others as well.
Envy often comes disguised as criticism and comparison. Envy generally begins as the seemingly innocent practice of comparing ourselves to one another. It causes us to feel that we aren’t good enough, that we must find ways to achieve more, acquire more, or do more than someone else to prove we are as good or better than someone else around us. We deny the value that the Lord places on us as individuals and assume that our worth to us, or neighbors and our God is tied to our ability to “do” or “have”.
Most of us will experience envy at one time or another. The danger comes when we allow it to take root in our lives. Then it has the potential to harm us and may cause us to think or act badly toward others. As James stated, “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work”.
Satan knows that envy is a quiet way into many of our hearts. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin has cautioned us:
“Satan knows our weaknesses. He puts attractive snares on our paths at just those moments when we are most vulnerable. … Sin may result from activities that begin innocently or that are perfectly legitimate in moderation, but in excess, they can cause us to veer from the straight and narrow path to our destruction. …”
As disciples of Christ, it is our task to take those moments when Satan would try to ensnare us with the seemingly little things, like a walk in a nice neighborhood, and turn them back over to the Lord. If we turn to Him, He will bless us with the ability to rise above the pettiness of envy and rejoice in our own and our brothers and sisters unique blessings. We must seek the Spirit of the Lord, through service to others, learning to focus not on what we are lacking but learning to recognize the blessings the Lord has given us. It means looking for only the good in everyone around us. It means finding contentment with our own lives.
For those of us who have a history of low self-esteem or struggle with inadequacy, this can be a major task to overcome, yet it can be overcome. To be filled with the Savior’s love is the greatest blessing and worth the work. Charity envieth not.
