Our family is one of God’s greatest gifts to us. It can be a source of joy for us, or pain. It is something that is dear to our hearts so as disciples of Jesus Christ, the first place we should carry His name is into our homes. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” clearly states that happiness in marriage and family is best achieved when the home is centered on the principles of Jesus Christ. After our own conversion, creating a family of disciples should be our highest priority. In fact, within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe a discipleship home creates an eternal home.
How can we do this? What steps can we take to ensure that our spouses and children, or parents, brothers, and sisters have the opportunity to develop their own relationship with Jesus Christ? Here is a brief list that the ancients and modern day prophets have counseled us to attend to with the promised blessing of a happier, richer home life that is centered on the gospel of Christ.
Scripture study. Draw strength from the scriptures. Let your children see you immersed in them because they bring you joy, then help them find that joy as well. No one method is right or wrong, the priority is time spent reading together from God’s word not necessarily turning our children into scripture spouting powerhouses. In our family scripture study has taken on many different faces depending on the needs of the children. When one child was struggling with embarrassment in church meetings when they could not turn to the scripture references as easily as others in the class, our family scripture time became random verse readings. Each member of the family opened their scriptures to any given point, then we would look up each person’s scriptures together. The verse was read and then we moved on. If they were still tolerant after everyone had shared scriptures, we might ask them which verses they liked best and talk about them briefly.
Though it may seem inappropriate to some, there are times we treat our scripture study as a game. We bribe them with small treats equal to the number of verses we are able to read without getting ants in our pants. We see who can find the silliest or shortest verse, or the longest genealogy, or be the first to locate a scripture on a given subject. The winner gets an extra fifteen minutes before bed. This is how we keep the grumbles out of our scripture time. It works for us; it may not work for another.
Family prayer. After our scripture time, we end with a prayer. On nights where we may be behind schedule or having a difficult time in some other manner, my husband and I will divide forces and visit each child’s room separately. We let the child hear us pray for them and our family, then listen to their own prayer. Again, it may not be ideal, but it’s a step in the right direction that fits the season of our family.
Family Home Evening. We have been counseled by our modern prophets to set aside one night a week for our family to be together. We play, we get to know each other better, we try to resolve difficulties our family is facing, we study the gospel, we grow closer. True, there are many times when family time is a struggle, whether it is because of outside responsibilities or inside contentions and resistance. These are the things that Satan wants us to focus on, he is trying everything in his power to discourage you and weaken the links between family members. He wants us to only remember the nights when everyone is crying or staring at you sullenly. He doesn’t want you to remember the times you drew closer, or things went well, or everyone left smiling. He wants you to believe that family time is impossible, and certainly not worth the trouble.
This is not what Heavenly Father has asked of us. He values our family unit. It is meant to be eternal. He has asked us to put our family first in our lives. When we shove those negative influences aside, when we schedule family time each week, even if it means sacrificing something else, then our family learns they matter. But above all else it creates a home of discipleship and reduces contention. Do not try to follow a formula that is not effective for your family unit. Just because your neighbor can have hour long, in depth gospel discussions with his family does not mean this is what your family needs. Focus your family time around your own family’s needs. The point is to draw closer together in love and in the gospel, not to drive more wedges between you with unrealistic expectations.
Family meals. The same advice applies to gathering your family together once a day for a meal, casual conversation, and even reviewing family scheduling for the day. Dinner may be easiest for some families. In others it may be breakfast. Again, elaborate meals and extended amounts of time are not the priority. Touching bases with each family member and feeding them spiritual love and support is the key.
Service. Place the needs of other family members above your own and learn to service them happily. Give each other your best manners and respect, then take your serving hearts to others in your community and the world. Learn to work together to strengthen and uplift others.
It’s not a very long list, some may be simpler for you than others, but as in all things, Christ takes the measure we are able to provide and fortifies it according to our needs. It does not provide a guarantee that no family member will stray or that all contention will be absent from our home. What it does provide is the strength to weather the storms of life when you learn to face them together.
