A few days ago I was attending a luncheon with a handful of my blogging sisters. Near the end of the luncheon one of the women asked my mother and me how we felt about my little sister’s marriage. Now this is not the first time we have been asked this question. This is probably due to how unique my sister, and her husband’s story are.
After sharing the details of how they came to be together, my mother and I assured our friends, that we are so happy and totally supportive of my sister’s marriage. All you need is to see them together to know that the Lord brought this union about. That is what is so beautiful.
Next thing I knew, every one of the women present shared their own sweet story of how they were united with their own true love. As I listened to the various stories, I found myself wondering what my story will someday be. Will it be romantic, or funny, or almost heartbreaking? My mind stopped right there with the solid realization that I was the only one present without a story of my own.
It is times like these that I feel my single status like a scarlet letter on my chest. Only I have this mark against me not for something I have done, but for something I have not done (namely get married).
This feeling only increased when the women in the group started talking about their children. I felt a yearning so strong within me that it almost hurt. I know that I am not alone in feeling the way I do. Many of my single friends have shared similar feelings. That is why it is increasingly hard for many of them to continue to attend weddings, and baby showers, and family wards.
Thankfully though real and painful these feelings may be, they do not last long. For whenever they try to drag me down I am reminded of what the Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley said,
“Somehow we have put a badge on a very important group in the Church. It reads,‘Singles.’ I wish we would not do that. You are individuals, men and women, sons and daughters of God, not a mass of ‘look-alikes’ or ‘do-alikes.’ Just because you do not happen to be married, does not make you essentially different from others. All of us are very much alike in appearance and emotional responses, in our capacity to think, to reason, to be miserable, to be happy, to love and be loved.
You are just as important as any others in the scheme of our Father in Heaven, and under His mercy no blessing to which you otherwise might be entitled will forever be withheld from you.
You are precious and important to Him. You are precious and important to the Church. You are precious and important to all of us.” To the Single Adults, June 1989 Ensign, Gordon B. Hinckley
When I remember these words, I feel the pain ease, and the scarlet mark of singleness, fade. Then I am able to once more be happy for those around me, and have faith and hope for my future. Someday I too will have a story to share. And perhaps when that time comes, I will be more sensitive to my single friends in my life. In the mean time I can continue on in my life as Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has counseled,
“If you are just marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, stop waiting. Don’t wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself. And trust in the Lord. Your dedication of a lifetime should follow King Benjamin’s advice to be “calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come” (Mosiah 4:11).” The Dedication of a Lifetime, CES Fireside for Young Adults May 1, 2005, Elder Dallin H. Oaks
