Friends are a precious commodity, especially when you, as teenagers, begin to pull away from your family. Finding friends who uplift, strengthen, fortify and encourage you is vital if you are to be truly happy.
In the booklet For the Strength of Youth, put out by leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly referred to as the Mormon Church), teens are cautioned to pick good friends.
“Choose your friends carefully. They will greatly influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards. A true friend will encourage you to be your best self” (“For the Strength of Youth,” p. 12).
I had a remarkable group of friends during my junior high and high school years. Several of them stayed with me through those six years while others came and went. The one thing I looked for in my friends was a common value system. None of us were tempted to use drugs, drink alcohol, or try smoking. We all firmly believed in keeping ourselves pure by not having sex before marriage. All of us felt it important to attend our weekly Sunday meetings as well as attending Seminary Monday through Friday along with our regular school studies. Our group of young women and men helped one another to stay on the path of righteousness, and we’ve come out better for it.
I have had other friends who chose a different way. I won’t go into details, but I will say the repentance process was so incredibly difficult and every single one of them said if they could undo what had been done, they would go back in time and change things.
This brings me to the next focus of friendship: being a good friend.
“To have good friends, be a good friend yourself. Show interest in others and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Go out of your way to be a friend to those who are shy or do not feel included” (“For the Strength of Youth,” p. 12).
For years after you have left your high school years behind, you will be remembered. Melissa Watkins was one of my favorite people in high school. She had curly, blonde hair and the most extraordinary smile. We didn’t run in the same social circles, but it didn’t matter to her. Every day as I would walk into our choir class she made me feel as though I was the most important person to her at that time. I can say the same of Emily Cowley. She had the most willing heart when it came to serving others. She was dedicated to her church and her beliefs, and had an exceptional testimony.
These two young ladies and others besides will be remembered as good, kind, and inspirational. The impact they had on friends and acquaintances was truly profound.
There are, of course, others who will not be remembered so kindly due to choices they make that negatively impacted my life or the lives of my friends. I realize they may be wonderful members of their communities now. Unfortunately I cannot think of them in this way. The things we do in this life, no matter how seemingly insignificant, will make lasting impressions on those we meet in this life. Not only will our actions be remembered by those we come in contact with here on earth, they will also be recorded in heaven as well.
“Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:40).
We need to make a special effort with our friends. We need to make a special effort with those who may not be our friends…yet. You never know when even a little kindness from you may be the only kindness someone receives.
