It’s a big step, moving to a new home, especially when it means uprooting your family. Children feel the upheaval and don’t often understand all the why’s and how’s. All they know is they’re being tor anway from everything and everyone familiar.
Being the friend left behind can be difficult. Being the friend who had to make the move is even more difficult. At least the one left behind still has familiar haunts, other friends, and the same school.
We moved when I was eight years old. Leaving my very best friend in the whole entire world was harder than I could have imagined. It felt like we had disappeared to the other side of the world. Sure our new house was bigger, and I loved the view of the valley from our front porch. It didn’t stop the ache in my heart for familiar sights and sounds.
The friend who moves has a lot more to deal with: a new home, no friends, a new school to explore. It’s intimidating going up to complete strangers and asking if they’ll be your friends. Rejection is prepared for, though acceptance is always hoped for.
I was lucky. My teacher ‘assigned’ me to a little girl named Christa, who had a great big heart and accepted me right away. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed Mormon Church) helped a lot as well. There in my Primary class I found even more friends, and soon settled into a fairly happy life.
It didn’t stop me from looking forward to each and every letter my very best friend in the whole world would send me from time to time. We were occasionally allowed to call each other, but this was never the same. As life continued, we eventually stopped writing altogether. This was natural, of course. We had to move on with our new lives. Keeping contact with her, even for that little while, helped me to deal with the loss of my old life.
I now live about half a mile away from where I lived all those years ago. Turns out it’s a whopping twenty minute drive to my parents’ house, not quite the other side of the world I had thought it was as a child. Whether you move around the corner or across the world, there are a few things you can do to make the transition easier for your child.
The invention of the Internet is an extraordinary blessing. Take advantage of the ability to send e-mails. If your kids are too young to write, sit down and help them type something up for their friend.
Encourage your child to send these pictures to friends over an e-mail, or through snail mail. It’ll be a great way to help him connect his old life with his new.
If you haven’t moved too far away, invite your child’s old friend(s) over for an afternoon. Let them explore the new house, yard, and neighborhood. Invite them to come to church. It’ll help your child look at his new area with new eyes.
What about those who’ve moved too far away for a visit? If you’re lucky enough to have a cell phone, let your child call when you’ve got some free minutes. Just hearing the voice of her best friend will do so much to lighten the emotional load.
Moving can be terribly difficult for a child. It does not, no matter how much he or she insists, have to be the end of the world.
