Poor customer service makes me feel completely invisible. Although I can see the waiter, I can’t get his attention.  Or I stand near the front desk wondering if the attendant even knows I’m standing there waiting.  We all recognize what excellent customer service is not.  As the daughter of a business owner and someone who loves to make others feel comfortable, I have been delighted to notice excellent customer service.  It surprises you by anticipating your needs.  It is definitely a well planned and executed performance, but the actors and the backstage crew all work to make the customer the unsuspecting star.  I saw it expressed well in a magazine ad., excellent customer service “ is never having to ask.”

We all provide some type of customer service.

Even if you are working alone in the mail room or on the computer, your effort is providing service to someone.  Even if you are unpaid and working as a stay at home mom or a volunteer, you are serving someone.  The only people who are total consumers might be very young children and very sick, old or disabled people, and even they can provide service to their service providers.  For instance, most children and elderly can smile at their caregivers.  In some way everything we do is either as a customer or a service provider, or both.

Invisible is good?

I was serving as secretary in Primary (our church’s children’s ministry).  There were over 200 children in our group.  It was an enormous amount of information and people to keep straight on the records and in person.  It was my responsibility to take care of the rolls and make sure everyone switched classes on time.  I worked really hard, and no one noticed me except when something went wrong.  If the classes didn’t rotate well, everyone was looking for me.  Otherwise, I was invisible.

In all my previous church callings and roles at school and work, I’d never been in a more difficult position.  If I worked hard and did well, nothing showed up.  And, if I messed up, it was such a big deal!  It was a very humbling position.  Pianists and other “backstage” jobs are amazingly like that.  If you do well, no one is upset.  In fact, no one may notice you at all.  Similarly some husbands, wives and stay at home moms feel, with understandable frustration,“like the kitchen sink,” dependable, available, serviceable, and very, very invisible.

But isn’t that what we want?  Excellence isn’t always defined by the way it draws attention to itself. Customer service efforts all combine to make the perfect environment that serves the customer.  If you are doing your job well, you are “like the kitchen sink,” and you are not angry about it or drawing attention to it.  It isn’t all about you.  Like the backdrop in a play, it would take away from the meaning and the whole if it was garishly distracting.  The backdrop is important and in plain sight, but on a large scale, it is also invisible.

Teamwork is required

I stood at the sign reading, “please wait to be seated” for what felt like 10 minutes.  All around the whole restaurant, workers were very active, and no one would look my way.  I didn’t know if anyone even knew I was waiting.  Finally a young woman came up to greet me.  It was terrible customer service, and it wasn’t the first time.

Now someone in my family works in that same place, and I am informed that it is only one person’s job to be the greeter.  What if that person is gone or busy with another customer?  There is no plan B. It is a chronic problem at this place, and I wonder why it can’t be solved.

Managers (including Moms)  need to make a plan B for covering responsibilities when someone is busy or not present.  Like in sports, you can move from man to man to zone playing.  Everyone needs a plan to cover for others who are absent, need help or can’t manage a sudden overload.  Or, it could be everyone’s responsibility instead.  “Welcome to Moe’s” for example.

Talk to your customers

Even if communication is not wanted during the event, like at a wedding, we can’t do without a lot of communication with our customer.  To meet their needs well, we have to know what they want and expect.  Customers are also much more understanding and reasonable to work with if they feel seen and heard.  It is reassuring to see someone’s eyes and hear, “I’ll be right with you.”

I read tons of marriage books and “what your husband wants from you” books before I had the “bright idea” to ask him myself.  Surprise!  My husband is not an average of all the other husbands. He is his own, unique self.  I had him prioritize for me what he wanted most.  It was a total surprise to me to find that he would prefer a store bought meal on time to a homemade one that was late even though it would cost him more.  I had seriously underestimated how important time and keeping on schedule was to him.  If I hadn’t asked him, I never would have known.  You just can’t learn things like that from averages in a book or online surveys where a 10 is the only answer that “counts.”

Offer what you can do.

Sometimes our customers have completely unrealistic expectations.  Sometimes it is our own fault because we set up the expectation by past performance or made the appointment and for some reason beyond our control, we can’t meet our obligations.  Other times the customer has no idea what is involved, what your schedule or life is really like, or what effort it would take to make their dreams come true.  Either way, my father taught me how to avoid completely disappointing people.  He taught me to,

1–Let them know there is a problem as soon as you are aware of it.

2–Let them know what you can do instead.

We can offer options that may help them solve their problem another way.  We can reschedule as early as possible rather than not showing up at the last minute.  We can show that we are still on their side even if they can’t have everything their way.  Sometimes excellent customer service is even referring that customer to someone else who can better meet their needs.

Have realistic expectations.  

My goals changed.  As a secretary, a good day was redefined as “a day when no one noticed me.”  I came to recognize and appreciate all the silent work that prepares for and creates “a good day” in so many roles.  And now, when my family takes me for granted, I admit I may never love it, but instead of feeling slighted, I try to realize what it is, really.  It is a compliment.  When excellence is expected, it’s a sign you have been able to hold the bar high and steady long enough that it looks easy, that you are dependable, and they trust you.

I watched an elderly man wait for over an hour for mustard to eat with his ham at a retirement home.  It was so sad.  No one even apologized or ever brought it to him or explained why it never came.  He eventually had to eat his cold ham without mustard and leave.  I have also heard of customers who verbally bite into my children with undeserved harsh words because their food has not arrived promptly at the table.  As waiters and waitresses, often they are the messengers that “get shot” at regularly by unhappy customers.  Unfortunately, in both service and being served positions, we all experience a lot of abuse.

It is because neglect and even abuse are so common that as customers we have to expect some problems.  It is also because we must expect problems that unassuming excellence speaks for itself. It is normal to wish you had a personal cell number for your waiter.  It is not normal to see your waiter by your side just before you started to look for him.  It is normal to have unhappy customers yell or blame you when you are not at fault.  That is why it is not normal to have a customer treat you like a real person, take the time to find out the underlying problem, or speak to the right person about concerns.  Excellence is so invisible, so welcome, you just can’t miss it.

It’s how you feel.

Self Improvement- To read more of DarEll’s articles, click here.

I went to a wedding meal at the Maddox that was so well served, so understated, so perfect, that you didn’t notice the waiters at all.  The meal was orchestrated with no attention to itself but the timing was perfect.  No one waited while others’ food got cold.  Grandma’s wish for more gravy was silently and quickly attended to.  My brother’s absence was noted and his food kept hot until he returned.  It was so perfect that we couldn’t help but notice how we felt.  It was comfortable.  The whole experience was wonderful, and at that moment, their service was the best in all the world, my world.

A satisfied customer can’t put their finger on why without thought.

But, all of us know how we feel.

May your service to others be so excellent that it is invisible,

so invisible that

it can’t be missed.

Namaste,

DarEll S. Hoskisson

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