Sometimes people get Mormons confused with the Amish. They are under the false impression that we don’t use electricity (watch me blog!), that the women must wear dark, floor length skirts, or cover our heads at all times. Because most people know that we do not drink or smoke, they often wonder if that means we also discourage other things like dancing. Sometimes people are under the false assumption that Mormons still practice polygamy and they think that Mormon women are oppressed and kept at home barefoot and pregnant, with no education.
I can’t speak for every woman who is a member of the Church of Jesus Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But this is what my experience has been as an LDS woman.
The prophet has encouraged me to get an education—to learn things that are personally satisfying and enriching and also things that will be economically useful if it’s needed. I have been counseled that marriage is ordained of God and that the commandment to multiply and replenish is still in effect. And once the children arrive, I have been taught that it is the main duty of mothers to nurture their children and that this is best accomplished through staying at home with them and not working outside the home except in special circumstances.
The men in the church are taught to respect and revere women. The prophet condemns the abuse of women mentally, verbally, physically or sexually.
We condemn most strongly abusive behavior in any form. We denounce the physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse of one’s spouse or children. Our proclamation on the family declares: “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. … Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs. … Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).
We are doing all we know how to do to stamp out this terrible evil. When there is recognition of equality between the husband and the wife, when there is acknowledgment that each child born into the world is a child of God, then there will follow a greater sense of responsibility to nurture, to help, to love with an enduring love those for whom we are responsible.
No man who abuses his wife or children is worthy to hold the priesthood of God. No man who abuses his wife or children is worthy to be a member in good standing in this Church. The abuse of one’s spouse and children is a most serious offense before God, and any who indulge in it may expect to be disciplined by the Church. (Gordon B. Hinckley, “What Are People Asking about Us?,” Ensign, Nov 1998, 70)
Women are encouraged to dress modestly. Generally this means that skirts and shorts should come to the knees, shoulders should be covered, and that our clothing should cover more than it reveals. The purpose of modesty is to show respect for our God and ourselves. And within those guidelines, we are free to choose whatever styles and colors we like.
It is true that we do not drink alcohol or use any type of tobacco. But it seems that Mormons love to dance! There are stake dances for the youth, dances for the college students, and even for the adults from time to time. Anytime you see Mormons dancing you are likely to see whatever the latest dance fads are as well as swing and ballroom styles.
Each ward usually has social activities for children, youth, and adults. I love the feeling at ward activities when babies are passed around so moms and dads can eat. Being an LDS woman means that almost anywhere in the world you could go, there is a social network set up where you can find friends, love and assistance. We celebrate birthdays, Easter and Christmas in our various ways around the world. Each country has its own holidays that its congregations observe, too.
Being a Mormon woman means that we are called upon to bring meals in to people who are sick or to families who have just had a new baby. It means visiting other women from month to month and sharing our testimonies and strengthening experiences with each other. It means making quilts and school kits to donate to those who need them and being part of an incredible world-wide organization that relieves suffering.
A Mormon woman tries to be frugal and self-sufficient. This might include baking her own bread, sewing her own clothes, budgeting well, being a savvy shopper or trying to have a 3-month supply of food and necessities on hand in case of difficult times or natural disasters.
It means avoiding objectionable movies, music, and books and being careful and watchful with the internet in our homes. Sometimes our standards put us in awkward situations. But those are often the best teaching moments when we get to share why these things are important to us and how the gospel gives us peace. And sharing those thigns bring us joy.
A Mormon woman has opportunities within the church to lead and teach and instruct. We attend our Relief Society meetings and strive to be a little bit better every day. We try to study the word of God and apply it in the difficult situations we face daily. We try to develop a personal relationship with God through personal prayer. And then turn around and teach these things to our families through family prayer, family scripture study and family home evenings.
Sometimes being a Mormon woman means crying a bit when you feel like you just aren’t doing as good a job as you should. There are heartaches and struggles and pain. But there is also the pouring of our hearts out to God and relying on the Atonement of Jesus Christ to wash away our sins and make our weaknesses strengths and turn our sorrows to sweetness. Then we get up off of our knees and dig back in with all our might, feeling known and comforted.
Being a Mormon woman usually means being very busy! But the work is rewarding and the personal growth is satisfying. Though there are sacrifices to be made, the blessings of a generous God are always abundant. There is so much peace and joy in being a Mormon woman.
