Your loved one has deployed. Your emotions may run the range from anger to sorrow. It seems as if your world has turned upside down. Don’t feel bad, that is natural. It is normal for you to feel those emotions. This a very difficult time for you and your deployed spouse. If you have children, it is also an especially difficult time for them.
So what do we do? Well, the one thing we shouldn’t be doing is to go on feeling sorry for ourselves. Frankly, we just don’t have the luxury or the time to feel sorry for ourselves, especially if we have children that are depending on us. As miltary spouses, we knew that deployment was quite likely for our soldier. It is natural for us to feel sad, worried, and frustrated during these times but we’ve got to find a way to make peace with it so that we can be strong for our children and for our deployed spouse. This is a difficult time for our deployed spouses as well and they can’t give their full attention to what they need to do if they are worried about us going to pieces back home.
How do we find the strength to push past our tattered emotions and do what we need to do while our spouses are deployed?
Pray
The single most important thing that we can do is to go to our Heavenly Father. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as Mormons) believe in the power of prayer. The Lord himself has directed, “Pray always, and I will pour out my Spirit upon you and great shall be your blessing.”(D&C 19:38) We need to confess our concerns to Him and ask Him to bless us so that we can have the strength to deal with this challenge. Begin and end each day with a prayer. President Thomas S. Monson pleaded with us to pray earnestly. He continued, “Perhaps there has never been a time when we had greater need to pray and to teach our family members to pray…It is through earnest and heartfelt prayer that we can receive the needed blessings and the support required to make our way in this sometimes difficult and challenging journey we call mortality.”
Ask For Help
Get your support system to rally around you. Let your extended family know what they can do to help you. Most of us are surrounded by wonderful friends and neighbors that are willing to lend a hand, whether it is picking up the kids from school, or lending a shoulder for you to cry on. Use these resources. The military community also has several resources to help you during this period. Contact the Family Readiness Group for your unit. Your Family Readiness Group is an important link between you and your deployed soldier so find out how to get involved in this group. Ask for help from your Church community. As a military spouse, one of my greatest support comes from the women’s organization of my Church, the Relief Society. My membership in this wonderful sisterhood is such a blessing in my life especially in times like these. Their acts of charity and service strengthens and lifts me up when I need it the most.
Take A Class
If possible, enroll in a college class or take one online. Use this time to pursue that education you’ve been meaning to get to. If this isn’t possible, learn a new skill. It can be anything. For example, I’ve always wanted to take a class on floral arrangement, and photography but have never had the time to do so before. Now would be a good time to do so. Pursuing an education (whatever that education may be) helps to keep your mind busy in a worthwhile endeavor and less time to dwell on the fact that your spouse is deployed. Perhaps the only class you’ll have time for is that exercise class you’ve been meaning to take at your local gym. Do it. Sign up and go. Most gyms offer child care for young children so if that has been your excuse, it really shouldn’t be. You’ll not only feel great but you’ll also look wonderful.
Deployment is difficult. It is one of the hardest things a spouse has to go through. I pray that all of us who are military spouses will be able to find the strength that we need for times such as these. My faith is a great blessing to me. Knowing and understanding the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives me the peace of mind to face what needs to be faced. It gives me the strength to carry on so that I can be the parent that my children need me to be and the wife that my military husband needs me to be. I hope that each of you can find that strength in your faith and religion. If you would like to know more about our Mormon religion, please visit the official Church websites at www.lds.org and www.mormons.org.
