In September of 1981, Gene R. Cook wrote an article that might well have struck fear in the hearts of some readers. He wrote of a group of Mormons summoned before church leadership because they were in danger of having their church

membership taken from them? Had they robbed a bank? Broken the law of chastity? Committed apostasy? No, not at all. They had done something most of them probably considered unimportant—they had gossiped. They had participated in a nasty whisper campaign about someone they believed had been immoral. The stories were lies and the damage was widespread. Church leaders found it necessary to take this drastic step to help their members understand that gossip is not entertainment or a minor sin. A reputation had been destroyed and it would be impossible to completely undo the damage, especially since the stories had spread outside the church.

Mormon Gossip Don’t Pass it on

Elder Cook explained that gossip is Satan’s snare. Satan uses gossip to further his own work. In the Book of Mormon, we learn of how Satan tried to thwart the preparation for the Savior’s arrival among the Nephites by spreading rumors and gossip through the land. He started whisper campaigns through willing gossipers that caused contention and made the listeners harden their hearts toward the sacred events to come. Thirty years later, after the wicked had been destroyed, Satan and his angels laughed at how easily they’d destroyed so many through mere gossip. (See Gene R. Cook, “Gossip: Satan’s Snare,” Ensign, Jan 1981, 27)

When we participate in gossip, we are acting as Satan’s agent. Whether or not the stories we share are true really isn’t the issue. If there is no need for us to share a negative piece of information, we must not share it, and we must be careful that our assessment of what is necessary is real. For instance, a church leader might need to know of someone else’s serious sin, but certainly few others really do.

Many who, in theory, disapprove of gossip, make exceptions in their minds. For instance, they might consider it acceptable to gossip about a celebrity, thinking famous people have no right expect to be free of gossip or that they won’t care. Many famous people, however, have commented that gossip hurt them or hurt their spouses, parents, and children. Some people exempt politicians who belong to a party other than their own, considering it not gossip, but furthering what they consider a righteous cause or “winning” a contest of sorts. Nowhere in the scriptures do we read there are implied exemptions to gossip. In fact, the Topical Guide to the Scriptures offers twenty scriptures about gossip, none that include exceptions. Fifteen more are found under backbiting, and fourteen more under slander.

There are no exceptions. There are no exceptions if it’s true (or you think it is or hope it is.) There are no exceptions if it’s about a bad person, an enemy, or an unpopular person. There are simply no exceptions.

There are three people involved in every bit of gossip: The gossiper, the listener, and the victim. Members are taught not to participate in the first two, because no one wants to be the third person in that group. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” Jesus taught. This can help us determine what is appropriate to say. Would you want this story spread about you? Would you share it if it were about your spouse, your best friend, or your bishop? If not, don’t spread it at all, even if it’s true. Gossip is still gossip when it’s true.

We generally understand that gossip hurts the victim, but it’s important to remember that it also hurts the gossiper and the listener.  When we are gossiping and listening to gossip, we are sending away the Holy Ghost, which will not participate in a gossip session and so must flee the scene. We lower ourselves far below our status as a child of God and put at risk our position as potential celestial beings.

Thomas S. Monson, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes called Mormons) said that gossip is akin to judgment. He reminds us that Jesus left no wiggle room on this subject:

“In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior declared, “Judge not.” At a later time He admonished, “Cease to find fault one with another.” It will take real courage when you are surrounded by your peers and feeling the pressure to participate in such criticisms and judgments to refrain from joining in….

The Savior said:

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another. …

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this truth: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” “

(Thomas S. Monson, “May You Have Courage,” Liahona, May 2009, 123–27)

We see then, that God is monitoring how we treat others as He evaluates our fitness for discipleship. It’s that important to Him. This alone can provide solid motivation to learn to bridle our tongues. There is another motivation. In the Book of James, we read:

For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. (James 3:2) If you follow the link on the scripture, and read what is highlighted, you’ll see James had far more to say on this subject. But think just for a moment of this particular verse. James says that if we don’t use our mouths to offend others, we are perfect, because if we can learn to control our mouths, we can learn to control the rest of our body. What an amazing promise!

Jeffrey R. Holland focused in on the verses linked to above and said of them:

“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” (James 3:10)

Well, that is pretty straightforward! Obviously James doesn’t mean our tongues are always iniquitous, nor that everything we say is “full of deadly poison.” But he clearly means that at least some things we say can be destructive, even venomous—and that is a chilling indictment for a Latter-day Saint! The voice that bears profound testimony, utters fervent prayer, and sings the hymns of Zion can be the same voice that berates and criticizes, embarrasses and demeans, inflicts pain and destroys the spirit of oneself and of others in the process. (See Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Tongue of Angels,” Liahona, May 2007, 16–18.)

Our tongues were given to us for sacred purposes. Let’s not defile our testimony-bearing tongues with gossip and backbiting.

Begin with some preparation. If you’re not going to speak badly of people anymore, what are you going to talk about? Make a list and develop some new, high-level conversational topics. While it might seem odd to fill your conversational hours with discussions of ideas, books, and other high level topics, you’ll find you can feel the spirit helping you learn how to do it.