Intuition

Mother’s intuition is a gift that comes along with that baby. I’ve learned to never doubt mine—even if it makes me uncomfortable, even if it makes others uncomfortable, even if it makes me unpopular, even if it makes me the odd ball out. —Terry, Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarf

I received a phone call a while back from my daughter. The conversation went something like this:

Daughter:     Didn’t you tell me that you were switching from writing about marriage this year to writing about parenting from your gut?

Me: Uh, no. I switched from writing about marriage to finding quotations and developing an article around them.

Daughter:   Well, you need to write an article about parenting from your gut.

Me: Uh, okay. I’ll see if I can find a quote.

Obviously, there is a back story to that which I won’t go into, but suffice it to say that my daughter had been through a pretty rough day after several equally challenging weeks. She had called me multiple times over those weeks for advice and support—a fairly rare occurrence for this self-assured, multi-talented, whirlwind of a child we raised. As a child, she chose “Fireball” as her Camp Fire name—which still suits her well.

My daughter has always been well organized, and thinks logically. That’s all well and good for her as an aeronautical engineer, but parenting requires more than logic and organization. Parenting requires following your gut—something that scientists like my daughter find quite difficult. There are no mathematical formulas or equations to figure out the “why” behind the things your children do and don’t do. Children don’t come with an owner’s manual and a money-back guarantee.

Raising children requires what the world calls intuition. I call it inspiration from the Holy Ghost. Children will grow into adulthood eventually—it’s how they do it that is crucial. If they are to grow into responsible adults, they need guidance and protection. As parents, we often don’t have a clue what that guidance should be, or what protections to give. Prayer becomes the necessary tool to receiving that heavenly inspiration that is the key to raising our children. Then we just have to trust our “gut feeling” and do what we think is the best for them.

Here are three more quotations about intuition that I like.

 If prayer is you talking to God, then intuition is God talking to you. — Dr. Wayne Dyer

Intuition is a spiritual faculty and does not explain, but simply points the way. — Florence Scovel

Listen to your intuition. It will tell you everything you need to know. — Anthony J. D’Angelo

Many times my husband and I parented our children by “going with our gut”. It was scary and humbling. We had to trust that our Heavenly Father knew what was best for our children, because frankly, we didn’t. We were often stumped.

To make matters much more complicated, everyone outside our home had a different opinion. I’ve never understood why relatives, friends, and even perfect strangers feel they have a right to give unsolicited advice on how to raise your children, but it happens all the time. One of my daughters (not the aeronautical engineer) had platinum blonde hair as a child. I remember a woman stopping me in the produce department at the grocery store one day and berating me for dyeing my little girl’s hair. After the initial shock of it all, I informed the woman that it was her natural color, but even if it hadn’t been, it was none of her business. That was not the last time I would be chastised in public by a perfect stranger with regard to my children. Things like that can shake your confidence as a parent.

It is important at times like that to make it a matter of prayer. Ask again for confirmation that you are doing what is best for your children. You will get an answer, and when you do, be prepared to follow up with action. Follow your heart.

My children were as different as night and day. We would just get one child going the right direction, and find we had a problem with another one. What worked for one child never seemed to work for the rest of them. I still haven’t figured out if children are just mysterious creatures, or if God gives us children with certain personalities to specifically challenge us as parents. Of one thing I am quite certain, and that’s that all children present unique challenges.

Now that my children are grown, I can look back and see not only the growth in them, but in their parents because of the experience. It was hard—very hard, but I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything in the world.

It doesn’t matter whether you call it intuition, gut feelings, going with your heart, or listening to the still small voice of the Holy Ghost—it’s all the same. It is the key that unlocks the puzzle to parenting.

I find the counsel below to be enlightening, but also encouraging as we strive to do our best at parenting our children.

[B]e the very best and act the very best you can. God will give you strength beyond your own as you strive daily to fulfill the most sacred mortal responsibility He gives to His children. Listen to the voice of the Spirit and the counsel of the living prophets. Be of good cheer. God did not place you on earth to fail, and your efforts as parents will not be counted as failure unless you give up (Elder M. Russell Ballard, The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood, Ensign (Mar. 2006)).

Never give up. Use your intuition (or inspiration from the Holy Ghost) and be of good cheer that you are doing your best. Your best is all that is expected, or needed. In the blink of an eye, the hard days of parenting are done—and then there are grandchildren—the ultimate reward for your parenting efforts!