Gratitude as a Path to Happiness
In difficult economic times, it might seem hard to make a Thanksgiving list of things we’re grateful for. However, no matter what our circumstances, there are always things to add to our list.
We are children of a loving Father in Heaven. That is the first item to place on any list. The second is that His Son, Jesus
Christ, loved us enough to die for us. These two blessings can serve as the foundation for all other blessings on our list. Some things cannot be taken from us, no matter how little income we have or how few our possessions.
In the May 2000 Ensign, a talk given by Bonnie D. Parkin in the Mormon General Conference, talked about gratitude during even the hardest of times. (See Bonnie D. Parkin, “Gratitude: A Path to Happiness,” Ensign, May 2007, 34–36.) She suggested showing gratitude toward Heavenly Father for our blessings was one way to find happiness in our trials.
Sister Parkin said, “Let me share a sweet story with you. A family was going through a difficult time. It was hard for them not to focus on their challenges. The mother wrote: “Our world had completely crumpled, so we turned to Heavenly Father for guidance. Almost immediately we realized that we were surrounded by goodness and were being cheered on from every side. We began as a family to express our gratitude to each other as well as to the Lord daily. A close friend pointed out to me that our family’s ‘blessing basket’ was overflowing. From that conversation came a sort of game, which my children and I grew to love. Before family prayer each night we would talk about how our day had gone and then share with each other all of the many blessings that had been added to our ‘blessing basket.’ The more we expressed gratitude, the more there was to be grateful for. We felt the love of the Lord in a significant way as opportunities for growth presented themselves.”2
What would a “blessing basket” add to your family?”
We often have no control over the trials we’re given. They come to us through our own choices or through the choices of others. Sometimes we can work to improve the situation, but other trials are outside our control. However, we can control how we view those trials and we can control where we focus our attention. Certainly, some trials require a great deal of our attention, but others must simply be gotten through. With either type of trial, we can focus exclusively on the negative portions of the trial, or we can give time as well to the good things going on in the background. Every day of our lives, something good is happening to us. When we pay attention to those good things and remember to take a few minutes to thank God for them, somehow the trials don’t seem as overwhelming. We’re able to see God’s presence in the worst of times, and to remember there will always be goodness during bad times.
“Gratitude requires awareness and effort, not only to feel it but to express it. Frequently we are oblivious to the Lord’s hand. We murmur, complain, resist, criticize; so often we are not grateful. In the Book of Mormon, we learn that those who murmur do not know “the dealings of that God who … created them.”3 The Lord counsels us not to murmur because it is then difficult for the Spirit to work with us.
Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God. Through it, we become spiritually aware of the wonder of the smallest things, which gladden our hearts with their messages of God’s love. This grateful awareness heightens our sensitivity to divine direction. When we communicate gratitude, we can be filled with the Spirit and connected to those around us and the Lord. Gratitude inspires happiness and carries divine influence. “Live in thanksgiving daily,” said Amulek, “for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you.”4
Mercies and blessings come in different forms—sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, “Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.”5All things means just that: good things, difficult things—not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is another evidence of His love.”
The Book of Mormon, a book of sacred text used by Mormons alongside the Bible, tells of a man named Nephi. He wrote that he had been blessed all the days of his life. This might seem to be an unimportant, generic sort of expression until you realize those days of his life had been filled with trials that would do in the average person. As a young teenager, he had to flee his home with his family due to persecution, and leave for a strange new land. He was homeless for many years as he traveled through the wilderness. His two oldest brothers regularly abused him and even attempted to kill him numerous times. When his parents died, he, his family, and his supporters fled persecution and danger once again—this time escaping his oldest brothers.
And yet, despite a lifetime spent in a highly dysfunctional family and despite constant danger, he felt all—every one—of his days had been blessed. While he faced homelessness, he was never alone. While he faced abuse and attempted murder, he was always saved by angels or God’s power, and he always had the portion of his family that believed in him behind him. He seems to have focused his attention on the blessings, rather than the trials of his life. Certainly he couldn’t ignore the trials—it’s hard to overlook attempted murder—but they didn’t define his life in his own mind. Instead, he made a special point of noticing and expressing gratitude for the good parts.
Sister Parkin explained the blessings that come from a lifetime of choosing gratitude: “The kind of gratitude that receives even tribulations with thanksgiving requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit, humility to accept that which we cannot change, willingness to turn everything over to the Lord—even when we do not understand, thankfulness for hidden opportunities yet to be revealed. Then comes a sense of peace.”
Read “Gratitude: A Path to Happiness.”
God’s Diversity of Gifts
Filed under: Doctrine & Covenants, Finding joy within the gospel, Gospel Principles, Practices & Precepts, LDS Practices, Men & Priesthood, Priesthood, Priesthood, Self-Worth, Service, Uncategorized, Women
Mormon scriptures teach that every person God creates is given gifts, talents, traits, and experiences from Him, to be used to help others, as well as to bless our own lives. They are His gifts to us. What we choose to do with them is our 
gift to God. It does no good, for instance, to be given a gift to teach powerful spiritual messages if we refuse to learn about Jesus or turn down an opportunity to teach Sunday School.
11 For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby. (See Doctrine and Covenants 46: 11-12.)
Everyone, male and female, can receive spiritual gifts. The scriptures list many of these gifts, and it can be interesting, as we read, to highlight each gift mentioned. The gifts bless the holder of the gifts if he uses them wisely, but they can also be used to bless others. A person who has the gift of faith can use it to find the truth among conflicting and confusing choices. This gift can be used to help that person become a member of the Savior’s church. It comes to her through the Spirit of Christ. After receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, her faith grows even more. She might then choose to use that gift to pray for others or to share her faith with those who were not given as strong a gift as she received.
We’re taught that it is appropriate to pray for certain gifts, if we are prepared to use them wisely in the service of others, rather than to glorify ourselves. A person who is invited to teach a class, but lacks the gift to teach can begin to pray for it. While praying, of course, she must do what she can to improve her teaching skills, but God will step in and honor righteous requests if they are part of His plan for us. A prayer to become the greatest teacher in the world is not likely to be honored, because this is a prideful request, but a prayer to have the ability to teach the class one has agreed to teach will be honored.
The diversity of the human race is one of God’s best ideas. If we all had the same talents, gifts, and assignments, most things wouldn’t get done. The world needs writers, but it doesn’t need everyone to be a writer. It needs gardeners, but everyone doesn’t need a talent for gardening. Because each of us has different talents and passions, everything that needs doing gets done. If we each had all the talents possible in equal proportion, we might find ourselves spread too thin, and most things wouldn’t get accomplished. We’d all be doing whatever was easiest or created the most wealth, given human nature.
In the same way, God divided up certain tasks and assigned them to specific genders. Only women were given the ability to give birth. This doesn’t mean God loves men less; it only means that doesn’t happen to be one of the tasks assigned to them. Only men hold the priesthood, but that does not say women aren’t worthy or capable of holding it. Priesthood is an office, not a gender, but assigning it to men keeps it focused, just as assigning childbirth only to women keeps that aspect of life focused.
Within the Mormon Church, there are a great many tasks to be completed, because we have a lay religion and very complex programs. Everyone is asked to take on his or her share of the work. Tasks are assigned in various ways that make the church run more smoothly. Some are assigned by age: Only a twelve or thirteen year old girl may serve as a youth leader in the Beehive Program. (Beehives are girls of that age in the Young Women’s program for teenagers.) Others are assigned by gender: Only women can serve as Primary or Relief Society Presidents. (These are, respectively, the organizations for children and women.) Some tasks are open to anyone who is an adult: Anyone may teach the children or the literacy classes, even though only women can lead those programs. Some tasks are assigned by office: Only a person who holds the office of a high priest can serve as a bishop (the leader of a congregation.) It might appear that the rule is that only men can be bishops, but actually, the rule is that only high priests can be bishops. A good and worthy man who does not hold the office of high priest in the priesthood cannot be a bishop, no matter how qualified he is otherwise.
While it’s true that only men are to hold the Mormon priesthood (as we see from even a casual study of the Bible), this does not limit a woman from serving God, anymore than not being able to be the Primary president limits a man’s ability to serve God. There are many ways to serve, and God does not love the priesthood holders more than the Primary president—or the door greeter. We don’t get bonus points for serving in certain kinds of positions. God asks us to serve wherever He needs us, and if we do this well, we are blessed for our attitude and willingness to serve, not for the specific task accomplished.
Men holding the priesthood receive no special blessings over the women. It isn’t about power or blessings, or God’s love. It is, rather, about our trust in God and His plan. If we have a testimony that the Savior is at the head of the church, and that He sees with a vision greater than our own, we won’t waste valuable mortality hours fretting over what gifts or offices we don’t have. Instead, we’ll work hard to develop those God has asked us to take on. As with every other aspect of the gospel, it really comes down to a testimony. How much do you trust God?
When I was first investigating the church, the priesthood issue concerned me. As a teenager raised in the 1970s, I thought women’s lib was what I was supposed to be living, even though I was known for my love of taking care of children. In other words, my nature was fairly traditional, if you leave out housework. The missionaries, when asked about priesthood at the first lesson, told me they’d be happy to discuss it with me, but I needed more background and training in prayer first. They asked me to learn to pray, and to continue to study, and then we’d discuss it. By the time I was able to understand the answers, I no longer needed to ask the question. I had learned to get my own answers through prayer and I had come to see how much God valued the woman’s place in His kingdom. I understood that being told I had to turn into a man was degrading to women and insulting to God, who created gender. It was no longer a problem for me. I had become proud of the person God created in me.
Over the years, I’ve longed for certain gifts. Some I’ve been able to receive, such as an improved ability to teach. Others were not my calling, such as a desire to sing. Over the years, as I’ve grown and matured, I’ve stopped wasting time fretting over what I don’t have, and have begun to be thankful for what I do have. God gave me a most interesting gift box of traits, talents, and experiences. I would be ungrateful and unworthy of those gifts if I wasted my life whining they weren’t good enough.
Consider the Lilies
Today, I had the pleasure to spend some time at a park near my home. Aside from the mosquitoes that seem to be able to find me from miles around, I had a pleasant time. There is a pond and walking trail meandering through partially wooded areas. It’s a wonderful place to spend some quiet time. As I wandered around a bit, I thought about a quote I recently read from C. S. Lewis.
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” C.S. Lewis
I’m grateful for my understanding of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. He’s right. Knowing I’m part of an eternal family and striving for a personal relationship with my Savior makes me a better person, but it also changes my perspective on many other things.
Knowing God, believing in Him and in His plan for our lives, allows me to see His touch in the world around me. I see Him in so many different ways on so many different days. These are a few of the things I thought of on my walk, that help me understand divinity and love a little better.
I’m grateful for:
Dandelions and roses
Gentle breezes
Sunsets and stars
The smell of lilac trees and rain in Arizona
Warm chocolate chip cookies
Willow trees
Thunderstorms
Butterflies, lightening bugs, and hummingbirds
The sound of cicadas and spring peepers
Bubble baths
And yes, Bug spray
I see each one of these things, and many more, with more clarity and appreciation when I’ve first looked to see where God is in my day. I see goodness and beauty. I see His love. I also see one thing more: me.
Sometimes this is the thing I overlook most if I’m not looking through the vision of my faith. If I look out at the vast world with its many wonders, creations, and even modern inventions, it becomes very easy to feel small and insignificant. If I’m exercising my belief in God first, then I have a different perspective of myself as well. I see more of what makes me beautiful and valuable as a child of God and a disciple of Christ, and I see more of the ways Heavenly Father has touched my life with His love.
Considering this on my walk also brought to mind a set of scriptures.
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. . . .
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:19-33)
If I could, I think the treasures I’d want most to take with me to heaven would be a bouquet of dandelions from my children, a little baby drool on my shoulder, a warm chocolate chip cookie, and a glass of cold milk. Somehow I suspect that because God knows me, those things are probably waiting for me. In the mean time, I’ll spend a little more time considering the lilies and His many other creations that are meant to bring me peace and happiness in this life. I’ll try a little harder to push the cares of the world aside and see things through God’s eyes.
How to Find Gratitude in a World of Hardship
Filed under: Finding joy within the gospel, Fruits of gospel living
Cicero, the great Roman orator, claimed that gratitude was “not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others” (Marcus Tullius Cicero, Pro Plancio, 54 b.c.) With a grateful heart, our minds are free to experience true happiness because we aren’t distracted by complaints and self-pity. President Joseph F. Smith, former leader of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormon Church,) proclaimed: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil” (Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. [1939], 263.)
But how, in a world that fights to drag us down and does such a good job at it too, do we keep our hearts happy, full of gratitude and thanksgiving?
The very first thing we must do is to open our eyes to all the blessings in the world around us.
Some days there may be little to be thankful for, it might be as small as that you are still breathing—and perhaps at times, that doesn’t exactly feel like a blessing. Yet, you are alive and therefore able to face another day, able to look and see what other blessings may come your way.
Once you start looking for blessings, you are sure to find them. If they are difficult to find at first, keep looking, keep counting, and you will soon find that you truly do have a great deal for which to be thankful.
Once our eyes are open and we can see the blessings in our lives, the next thing we must do is to open our hearts. Often our hearts become so hardened that even when we can see that which we should be grateful for, it’s hard to crack that tough shell and let our hearts be filled. Yet fill it we must, with love, faith and thanksgiving.
To live in thanksgiving daily is the surest way to keep our hearts open to the opportunities around us and to ensure that we continue to recognize and receive continued blessings.
One of the best ways to show gratitude for our blessings is to strive to bless the lives of those around us. The Book of Mormon prophet, King Benjamin taught his people:
“If you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice. …
“… If ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants” (Mosiah 2:20–21.)
If ever you are uncertain how to render thanks to God, King Benjamin told us that as well: “And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17).
A grateful heart can be your greatest boon in your life. President Gordon B. Hinckley has said:
“My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life, we ‘accentuate the positive.’ I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort” (Standing for Something [2000], 101.)
Choice blessings await those who live in thanksgiving daily. “He who receiveth all things with thankfulness,” the Lord has promised, “shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more” (D&C 78:19.)
Among the blessings you can expect to receive, happiness is sure to be one of them. Develop a grateful heart and not only your heart but your life will be filled with happiness.
A Grateful Heart is a Happy Heart
Filed under: Finding joy within the gospel, Fruits of gospel living
I have a friend who makes me smile every time I see her. She always gives me a big hug and sincerely asks how I am. Often, I forget to ask how she is because she makes me feel like I am the most important thing—me, and my life. And because she radiates love and joy, I often assume that all is well with her.
The irony is, that is just not true.
Her husband is embroiled in an ugly battle with his former employer and is currently out of work. She has a young son with disturbing mental issues. She fosters several teenage girls with varying troubles of their own. She is a woman, trying to make ends meet, trying to be a good mom, trying to be a good friend, just trying to get by.
If she were any other woman, I’m sure she would be crying on my shoulder. If she were any other woman, she wouldn’t be any of the things I admire so much about her. Despite her challenges, she is happy and she lets that happiness shine on all those around her so that they are cheered and uplifted as well.
I’ve had occasion to talk with her about how she can be so happy, despite all that fights to bring her down. Her response? Gratitude.
She is grateful for a loving husband who wants to work and is capable of work. She is grateful for her children and the opportunity she has to be their mother. She is grateful that she can offer a safe and loving home to children in need. She is grateful for friends who hug her when she needs a hug—never mind that is us who feel are being hugged by her, it’s the same regardless, we are all getting hugs!
Cicero, the great Roman orator, claimed that gratitude was “not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others” (Marcus Tullius Cicero, Pro Plancio, 54 b.c..)
Our Father in Heaven knows that being thankful is a hallmark of happiness. In the Doctrine and Covenants, a collection of modern day revelation given to the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) God said, “Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things” (D&C 59:7.) He has also admonished that “in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments” (D&C 59:21.)
My friend has learned this and taken it to heart. She practices this principle daily and stands as an example of its truthfulness. She has truly learned to “live in thanksgiving daily” (Alma 34:38.)
President Joseph F. Smith, former leader of the Mormon Church, proclaimed:
“The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life. Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!” (Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. [1939], 263.)
Can you imagine what my friends’ life might be like if she chose not to be thankful in all things? Perhaps it would look a little more like mine, or yours. But can you see how such a small act as being thankful can make such a difference in the life one woman, one family—and how that difference could be magnified in you and me? We could start an epidemic of happiness, just by choosing to be thankful today and every day.