A common theme of many conversion stories of those who have grown up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as “the Mormons”) is that sooner or later, It is another to reach that conclusion within yourself, and to commit your own heart and soul to its teachings.
I was raised in the Church, in western Oklahoma. There weren’t too many other Latter-day Saints out there, but my parents were faithful and did all they could to keep our little congregation running. I learned to do the same. As a child I learned the story of Joseph Smith and how he prayed to find out which church was true. Later I learned the concept of the Holy Ghost helping people to know that the Church was true. I usually prayed before bed as a youth, but one night I decided I’d better ask God Himself if the Church were true. It seemed like that was what everyone else at church had done. But outside of being an active Latter-day Saint my whole life, I hadn’t particularly pondered the question or prepared myself to receive an answer. I didn’t know what I expected to get, but I did think I might get some kind of sign … or something.
Well, the earth did not move beneath me and I did not receive a heavenly visitor in my bedroom. In fact, I wasn’t sure I felt anything different. But, I noticed, I didn’t feel bad about it either. The feeling I had, although subtle, was one of peace. I noted in my journal that I felt “reasonably good” about it and supposed that I’d done my duty and I had my testimony of the Church like everyone else.
Another thing I didn’t understand at that time was that conversion doesn’t end there, just with one experience on your knees and one “reasonably good” feeling. Looking back to my baptism and confirmation when I was eight years old, I remembered feeling something special at that time. I’d just received the gift of the Holy Ghost and in my eight-year-old mind I felt like I was floating. (I had felt so light that afterwards I went home and weighed myself.) I remembered feeling peaceful when I’d heard stories read from the scriptures.
Looking forward, a few years later when I feeling socially inept at an overnight LDS youth conference, I prayed for help in getting to know a guy who’d caught my attention. (So far I hadn’t really spoken to him.) And that guy ended up next to me in the final testimony meeting of the conference. Frankly, I was surprised at receiving such an overt answer to my prayer (and subsequently flubbed my opportunity to talk to this guy), but my testimony that there really was a God who had really heard and answered my prayer was greatly strengthened.
Another couple of years down the road, I was taking a home study seminary class that I’d fallen dreadfully behind in. (Seminary is a program available through the Church that helps the youth to study the scriptures.) That year we were studying the Book of Mormon, and I’d wanted to read the whole book myself for the first time. But I was also under strict orders to finish my written assignments by the end of the week. So I locked myself in my room and worked on my assignments and read the Book of Mormon for several days until I was finished. (I have to admit that there were some rebellious teenage motives in my desire to read the whole Book of Mormon. At this point I was so far behind that my teacher and my parents were encouraging me to just get the written work finished and turned in. Naturally, I had to prove them wrong.)
Those days with my seminary assignments and the Book of Mormon started as drudgery, like any homework assignment. But as I continued to read I truly began to feel the spirit in this great book. By the time the Savior appeared to the Nephites, it had become real to me. I felt like I was there. I felt like I had been awaiting His coming just as the Nephites had. I did finish reading the Book of Mormon, and I was a bit startled to realize that I did in fact know that it was true. The knowledge hadn’t come to me in a vision or sign from heaven, but I knew it just the same.
And this pattern has continued throughout my life. Again and again I’ve felt the peace that comes from studying the scriptures and praying for help and strength. Over and over I have seen my prayers answered. Sometimes there are “big” things that happen. Often it’s just the little things, over and over. As I’ve grown my understanding has deepened. I’ve learned that our true conversion and loyalty must be to our Savior Jesus Christ. He speaks to us through His prophets and His scriptures, and it His church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that holds the keys to His priesthood. I am grateful for the experiences that I’ve had and I add my own testimony that I know that God is real, that He loves us and hears and answers our prayers. The power and authority behind the priesthood is real. I am truly grateful to have the restored gospel in my life today.
