I have always known there was a God. Even though I was not taught about God in my family, my heart somehow already knew Him. My family thought it a strange wonder that as a very little girl I would regularly have tea parties with Jesus. Now, as a grown woman, I consider it a wondrous thing indeed that my Savior took the time to comfort and befriend me, even as a tiny child.
I spent much of my youth searching for a church that would support the feelings I held in my heart. I would often go to church with my friends, sometimes staying for a while in one church or another, but inevitably moving on. It wasn’t until I was nineteen that I decided to join with a particular religion. It was a middle eastern religion that did not believe Jesus was the Messiah. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, as His Holiness had been a defining truth in my personal religion my whole life. However, I loved everything else about this religion and so I chose to commit to them.
Jesus is the Living Christ and He is no imaginary friend. I was blessed to receive a very special witness that taught me that I could not join the religion I had determined to join because As I knelt in prayer along with a group of people, I perceived a bright pinpoint of light directly over my head. I opened my eyes to see what the light was and noticed that no one else was seeing what I was seeing. The light grew brighter and brighter until it filled the whole room and I was bathed in it. I saw, standing in the air before me, my Savior, Jesus Christ. He seemed to be standing on water of the bluest blue, and His robe was as white as the stars. He held out His arms to me and said “Come to me.” My search would need to continue.
Two years later a pair of missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints knocked on my door and handed me a Book of Mormon. They invited me to read it, and since I fancied myself a bit of a ‘collector of religions’ I was curious, and agreed. I dismissed the Church as a possibility for me pretty early on because I just could not accept that a farm boy from New York could be a true prophet. Also, I had felt my call to serve God pretty strongly and I did not believe that He would want me to be a part of a church that did not give the priesthood to women. Nevertheless, I was fascinated by the young boys (who were my age) who had given up two years of their life to teach their gospel and so I continued to meet with them.
After they had visited with me a couple times the missionaries were frustrated by my insistence that I knew their church was not true because I could not hold the priesthood; they asked me to please pray about it and find out for myself. I did as they asked, though it was strange for me, as I had never been taught to pray like that. Mormons believe that you can speak to God like you would to your father and that He will answer you! I tried it, but was disappointed that when I remained still and quiet on my knees for several long moments, He did not answer me. I got up to go about my bedtime preparations.
As I was coming out of the bathroom to head to bed, a voice spoke to me, clear as day, yet ringing from inside my mind: “You are to be a mother.” Now, to understand the meaning of that statement to me, you need to know that I did not intend to be a mother. I did not value motherhood and had no plan to ever become one. However the power and holiness of this voice drew me to my knees, right there in the hallway. There was no denying who’s voice this was. As tears streamed down my face the Holy Spirit confirmed to me that the greatest calling on earth, the one I had been sent here to fulfill, was to be a mother.
When the missionaries visited the next day, I accepted the gospel. I was baptized just three weeks after first meeting the missionaries and it has been nothing but a gift and a blessing in my life. Though my family questioned my choice in the “Mormon Church” as they called it, I knew that this was the place my Shepherd had been leading me to. I knew I had heard the voice of the Lord and this, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, was His true Church.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God’s own Church on the earth today. God is the same today as He was yesterday, the same today as He was in the days of the Old Testament. He speaks to us through personal revelation and through His living apostles and prophets. He performs miracles and heals hearts and minds, He is constant and true. I testify that He will search after the one lost sheep and bring her or him into the fold, for I was that lost sheep and he sought me and found me. I have been a member of the Church now for almost eighteen years and I have not felt even a moment’s need to continue searching. I have found where I belong. I have found Him.
