“It’s my life and I can do what I want with it.” That’s a popular refrain among teenagers outside the church. As a new member of the church, you may already be aware that there is more to this story than that.
We have always had agency. The right to choose for ourselves is what brought us here to earth. When Heavenly Father presented his plan to us, it included the right to choose whether or not to follow it. Some chose not to and followed Satan instead. Those of us who are here made the correct choice. You’ve always had agency–you just understand it better now.
Now, here on earth, our agency continues. As a teenager, you have limits placed on your agency, in that you must obey laws, rules, parents, teachers, and leaders. However, within even the strictest guidelines, you have agency. For instance, you can choose your attitude toward the guidelines. You can even choose not to follow those rules and laws, but there are serious consequences for doing so.
And consequences are the part of agency much of the world chooses not to understand. While you can always choose what to do and how to feel about it, you cannot choose the consequences of your choices, and there are always consequences. Furthermore, you can’t choose who else is hurt by your choices. The consequences of your actions are entirely beyond your control, both good and bad.
When you make good choices, good consequences follow, in general. When you make bad choices, bad consequences generally follow. As a teenager, your decisions have a tremendous impact on your family and friends. When you get into trouble, your family will be hurt—and possibly even held accountable by the law. When you do something wonderful, they are proud and others look on them more favorably. If you choose to follow a bad path, you may lead a friend or younger sibling along with you, but when you chose to join the church, you drew attention to a wonderful eternal blessing. Others you love may follow in your footsteps someday.
The best time to use your newly understood agency is before you need it. Make all the important decisions now, when your emotions aren’t involved. Then plan a path that won’t lead you anywhere you haven’t chosen. Think through the choices, the consequences, and the actions needed, and then pray for confirmation. Right now is the time to decide you will marry in the temple, for instance. If you decide now, you’ll make the choices that will keep you from getting sidetracked. You’ll date only temple worthy people, guard your morality, and keep your testimony strong. It’s much easier to make this choice today than when you are facing a proposal from someone who can’t make your eternal dreams come true.
Dallin H. Oakes, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, gave this guideline for making the small, everyday choices you will make as a new member of the church: “Potentially destructive deviations often seem so small that some find it easy to justify ‘just this once.’ When that temptation arises—as it will—I urge you to ask yourself, ‘Where will it lead?’” Dallin H. Oaks, “Where Will It Lead?,” New Era, Aug 2007, 2–5
The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.
