In my church this past Sunday we had a lesson from the new manual Teachings of Presidents of The Church: Joseph Smith. The class I attended was a quorum meeting, a quorum being a group of men who hold the same priesthood office. As the title of the manual indicates, we were studying the teachings and sermons of Joseph Smith, who was the first prophet of the Mormon Church. The subject was God the Eternal Father. This lesson was important because the starting point of all religion is God, His nature, perfections, and His attributes.
Going into the class I was of two minds. The better angel of my nature was looking forward to the class. I could expect a vigorous and lively review of the things that I as a Mormon believe about God.
But the darker side of me was afraid that the class would be a rote recitation of things that I already knew and believed, and nothing more.
As I saw it, there were two laws of learning in play. One law is that we learn by repetition. Practice makes perfect. The other law is an observation from Roman Catholic philosopher Thomas Aquinas. He said that frequent repetition can bring “weariness and confusion” to the minds of students. That is, rote repetition makes studying the gospel boring. When the lesson is done we get a mixture of two feelings: “We’ve heard this all before” and “Is this all there is?”
But I was surprised by what happened. As the lesson progressed, there was a subtle change in the quorum. Some of the other elders shared experiences from their missions. One thing they learned as missionaries was that if people had bad experiences with their earthly fathers, then that adversely affected their ability to believe in a Heavenly Father.
This real-life experience is confirmed by science. New York University psychologist Paul Vitz did a study of atheists and religious skeptics, and found a common thread. Many of them did not have a significant father figure in their lives. Voltaire, Hume, Freud, Camus, Sartre, and Nietzsche had missing or fractured fathers. On the other hand, Bonhoeffer, Chesterton, and Pascal all had strong and loving fathers. (cited in Paul Copan, That’s Just Your Interpretation, 114-155.)
That is an interesting connection. Coincidentally, the Saturday before members of the Mormon Church attended a worldwide leadership conference that focused on the family. We all agree that the family is in danger, and that men need to assume their roles as presiders, providers, and protectors. But sometimes we think of men as just managing a family, as if they were the CEOs of Family, Inc. However, it seems that there is more to fatherhood than that. As our experience and science both show, how fathers fulfill their covenants, obligations, and duties within the family affects the spirituality of the children. Fathers must be spiritual leaders.
For example, Joseph Smith’s brother said that his father, Joseph Smith Sr., took charge and set the spiritual climate for the family:
“My father’s religious habits were strictly pious and moral. … I was called upon to listen to prayers both night and morning. … My parents, father and mother, poured out their souls to God, the donor of all blessings, to keep and guard their children and keep them from sin and from all evil works. Such was the strict piety of my parents.”
“We always had family prayers since I can remember. I well remember father used to carry his spectacles in his vest pocket, … and when us boys saw him feel for his specs, we knew that was a signal to get ready for prayer, and if we did not notice it mother would say, ‘William,’ or whoever was the negligent one, ‘get ready for prayer.’ After the prayer we had a song we would sing; I remember part of it yet: ‘Another day has passed and gone, We lay our garments by.’” (“Chapter 2: God the Eternal Father,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, [2007], 36–44.)
Joseph Smith Sr.’s example is impressive. Keep in mind that at the time he was unchurched. When his son Alvin died, the preacher who spoke at the funeral suggested that Alvin had gone to hell because he was unbaptized. Smith was offended. He did not join any denomination until his son Joseph Smith organized the Mormon Church. (“Chapter 35: Redemption for the Dead,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, [2007], 401–11.)
Furthermore Joseph Smith Sr.’s example affects Mormons today. He influenced the prophet Joseph Smith, who in turn influenced Mormons in general. We stand on Joseph Smith’s shoulders as he stood on his father’s shoulders. Never underestimate the power of example, or the duration of example for that matter. Joseph Smith Sr.’s example of prayer and spiritual leadership is still echoing two centuries later.
It is crucial for men to be good role models. In the media, men are usually depicted as being either inadequate (i.e. Homer Simpson) or as evil (i.e. Hannibal Lector). However in the Mormon Church men are encouraged to be better, to be something more than oafs and sociopaths.
Howard W. Hunter, the fourteenth president of the Mormon Church advised men this way:
“A man who holds the priesthood leads his family in Church participation so they will know the gospel and be under the protection of the covenants and ordinances. If you are to enjoy the blessings of the Lord, you must set your own homes in order. Together with your wife, you determine the spiritual climate of your home. Your first obligation is to get your own spiritual life in order through regular scriptural study and daily prayer. Secure and honor your priesthood and temple covenants; encourage your family to do the same.”
“Take seriously your responsibility to teach the gospel to your family through regular family home evening, family prayer, devotional and scripture-reading time, and other teaching moments. Give special emphasis to preparation for missionary service and temple marriage. As patriarch in the home, exercise your priesthood through performing the appropriate ordinances for your family and by giving blessings to your wife and children. Next to your own salvation, brethren, there is nothing so important to you as the salvation of your wife and children.” (Howard W. Hunter, “Being a Righteous Husband and Father,” Ensign, Nov 1994, 49.)
That is why I love Mormonism: it has a place for men to be the type of men they should be. True manhood is cultivated and husbanded, and the world is a better place for it.
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