Families are intensely under attack in today’s society. As courts try to alter the definition of marriage, as schools refuse to teach students that children need both a mother and a father, and as media undermines the proper structure of the family unit, those who hope to keep the family intact fight a constant battle.
The Book of Mormon says in 2 Nephi chapter 13:
12 And my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they who lead thee cause thee to err and destroy the way of thy paths.
In this scripture, Nephi is quoting Isaiah (see Isaiah 3:12), who was prophesying of events clearly happening in our own time. Our leaders and our culture are causing God’s children to err and leading them down false paths.
One common complaint about family or children’s television programs is that they have a tendency to portray parents as idiots and the children as the wise ones. Parents are ridiculed and made fun of and children rule their homes. In real life, we see children emulating this pattern. Many children are spoiled and the parents reduced to the role of servant. This is not how God intended families to operate. From the beginning, when He created Adam and Eve, He put the parents in charge—two of them, working together to raise the children.
He also placed Adam at the head of the household. This doesn’t mean he was “the boss.” Instead, Adam was told Eve was to be his helpmeet, an equal partner in operating the home. Each had specific roles and duties, but neither was superior to the other. However, Adam was the head of the household. What does this mean?
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sometimes incorrectly referred to as the Mormon Church, issued a proclamation on families which includes the following explanation:
“… By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”
These roles aren’t assigned because men are by design better at providing and women are better at nurturing. Even if it works out in a family that the woman could earn more money or the father is better with caring for children, God has chosen specific roles for each. They are assigned, not earned, and they were assigned and agreed to long before we came to earth. It doesn’t mean a woman can never earn any money or have a job, or that a man can’t give a child a hug. It means that the primary responsibility, in normal circumstances, fall as God intended.
Unlike the world, women don’t feel it is degrading to allow the man to be the head of the household, if he heads it righteously and in harmony with the teachings of God. Nor do they find their assigned role degrading.
“Woman is God’s supreme creation. Only after the earth had been formed, after the day had been separated from the night, after the waters had been divided from the land, after vegetation and animal life had been created, and after man had been placed on the earth, was woman created; and only then was the work pronounced complete and good.
“Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth.” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Our Responsibility to Our Young Women,” Ensign, Sept. 1988, 11)
Women who belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have a declaration that states that they find nobility in womanhood. This attitude sustains them during long, tiring days, and reminds them to think beyond the basics of the chores and look instead to the eternal purposes of their tasks. They understand there is nothing at all unimportant in the work of maintaining a wonderful home, raising upstanding children, and supporting a good husband in his work. These women know that those who put down a woman for putting home and family first devalue children and marriage, seeing them as less important than worldly pursuits. Who among us didn’t value—or long for—a loving and special childhood? Do our children deserve less than we ourselves wanted?
When we put the family into its God-designed pattern, the world is a peaceful place where values are honored and everything is prioritized by eternal values.
The late Terrie Lynn Bittner—beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend—was the author of two homeschooling books and numerous articles, including several that appeared in Latter-day Saint magazines. She became a member of the Church at the age of 17 and began sharing her faith online in 1992.
