Joseph Smith was the prophet of eternal love. As the first president of the Mormon Church, he laid the framework for what members of that church believe. This includes how Mormons view romantic love.
The foundation for all that Mormons believe about love is the Atonement, or Jesus Christ’s sacrifice and resurrection. This act was the greatest act of love in eternity. It is also the foundation for all other forms of love: camaraderie, friendship, and romantic love. Since the Atonement is a miracle of cleansing, the cleaner we are, the better we can love.
Joseph Smith also taught that heaven is an extension of earthly associations:
“And that same sociality which exists among us here [in earth] will exist among us there [in heaven], only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.” (D&C 130:2)
The word “sociality” includes friends, families, and communities in general. Therefore death means nothing to a good friend, a child, or a loving spouse.
Mormon marriages are done not only for time, but also for all eternity. The reason Mormons do this goes back to the Resurrection. A man will resurrect as a man, a woman will resurrect as a woman because “gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, paragraph 2). Retaining our gender identities allows us to love our spouses in heaven as we have loved them on earth.
An ancient prophet once said:
“For that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.” (Alma 34:34)
We will resurrect with the same emotions, feelings, and passions that we had while alive. So if you die loving your spouse, then you will resurrect loving your spouse. If you die loving your children, then you will resurrect loving your children. That is why Mormons spend so much time emphasizing the family. It is preparation for eternity.
Thomas S. Monson, the sixteenth president of the Mormon Church suggested three ways in which we can strengthen homes:
1. Form a pattern of prayer.
2. Have a library of learning.
3. Leave a legacy of love.
If we habituate ourselves by doing these three things, we not only will strengthen our homes in the here and now, but also bring these things with us in heaven.
There is so much to say about the Mormon view of romantic love. But we need to remember that it all began with Joseph Smith. In his letters to his wife Emma, we see that Joseph Smith was head-over-heels in love with her. It went beyond love to a burning passion.
Here are some samples:
To Emma Smith on October 13, 1832, from New York City, New York: “This day I have been walking through the most splendid part of the city of New York. The buildings are truly great and wonderful, to the astonishing of every beholder. … After beholding all that I had any desire to behold, I returned to my room to meditate and calm my mind; and behold, the thoughts of home, of Emma and Julia, rush upon my mind like a flood and I could wish for a moment to be with them. My breast is filled with all the feelings and tenderness of a parent and a husband, and could I be with you I would tell you many things. …”
“I feel as if I wanted to say something to you to comfort you in your peculiar trial and present affliction [Emma was pregnant at the time]. I hope God will give you strength that you may not faint. I pray God to soften the hearts of those around you to be kind to you and take the burden off your shoulders as much as possible and not afflict you. I feel for you, for I know your state and that others do not, but you must comfort yourself knowing that God is your friend in heaven and that you have one true and living friend on earth, your husband.”
To Emma Smith on April 4, 1839, from the jail in Liberty, Missouri: “My dear Emma, I think of you and the children continually. … I want to see little Frederick, Joseph, Julia, and Alexander, Johanna [an orphan who was living with the Smiths], and old Major [the family dog]. And as to yourself, if you want to know how much I want to see you, examine your feelings, how much you want to see me, and judge for yourself. I would gladly walk from here to you barefoot and bareheaded and half-naked to see you and think it great pleasure, and never count it toil. … I bear with fortitude all my oppression; so do those that are with me. Not one of us has flinched yet.”
To Emma Smith on November 12, 1838, from Richmond, Missouri, where he was being held prisoner: “Tell little Joseph he must be a good boy; Father loves him with a perfect love. He is the eldest and must not hurt those that are smaller than him, but comfort them. Tell little Frederick Father loves him with all his heart; he is a lovely boy. Julia is a lovely little girl. I love her also. She is a promising child. Tell her Father wants her to remember him and be a good girl. Tell all the rest that I think of them and pray for them all. … Little Alexander is on my mind continually. O my affectionate Emma, I want you to remember that I am a true and faithful friend to you and the children forever. My heart is entwined around yours forever and ever. Oh, may God bless you all, amen. I am your husband and am in bands and tribulation.” (“Chapter 20: A Heart Full of Love and Faith: The Prophet’s Letters to His Family,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, [2007], 238–247.)
You see the love for his wife, his individualized love for his children, and even the love for his pet dog! That is what Mormonism does to people and also does for people.
The best expression that sums up the Mormon view of eternal love comes from Parley P. Pratt, an apostle and contemporary of Joseph Smith:
“[Joseph Smith] taught me many great and glorious principles concerning God and the heavenly order of eternity. It was at this time that I received from him the first idea of eternal family organization, and the eternal union of the sexes in those expressibly endearing relationships which none but the highly intellectual, the refined and pure in heart, know how to prize, and which are at the very foundation of everything worthy to be called happiness.”
“Till then I had learned to esteem kindred affections and sympathies as pertaining solely to this transitory state, as something from which the heart must be entirely weaned, in order to be fitted for its heavenly state.”
“It was Joseph Smith who taught me how to prize the endearing relationships of father and mother, husband and wife; of brother and sister, son and daughter.”
“It was from him that I learned that the wife of my bosom might be secured to me for time and all eternity; and that the refined sympathies and affections which endeared us to each other emanated from the fountain of divine eternal love. It was from him that I learned that we might cultivate these affections, and grow and increase in the same to all eternity; while the result of our endless union would be an offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven, or the sands of the sea shore.”
“It was from him that I learned the true dignity and destiny of a son of God, clothed with an eternal priesthood, as the patriarch and sovereign of his countless offspring. It was from him that I learned that the highest dignity of womanhood was, to stand as a queen and priestess to her husband, and to reign for ever and ever as the queen mother of her numerous and still increasing offspring.”
“I had loved before, but I knew not why. But now I loved—with a pureness—an intensity of elevated, exalted feeling, which would lift my soul from the transitory things of this groveling sphere and expand it as the ocean. I felt that God was my Heavenly Father indeed; that Jesus was my brother, and that the wife of my bosom was an immortal, eternal companion; a kind ministering angel, given to me as a comfort, and a crown of glory for ever and ever. In short, I could now love with the spirit and with the understanding also.”
“Yet, at that time, my dearly beloved brother, Joseph Smith, had barely touched a single key; had merely lifted a corner of the veil and given me a single glance into eternity.” (Parley Pratt Autobiography [1985], 259-260)
That is what Mormonism is all about—helping families understand who they are, fostering eternal love, and preparing for the future day when we can stand before God as families and rejoice.
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