Families, can’t live with them, don’t want to live without them!
Isn’t it funny how the ones that we love the most can also be the ones that make us the maddest? It seems to me that the ones that I love the most can push all my buttons the wrong way. Probably because they know all the right buttons to push. Of course by saying this, I’m fully aware that the ones who love me the most can say the exact same thing about me.
My extended family is pretty normal, at least we like to think we’re mostly normal. We have our good times and our bad days. We have days when we all agree on the best course of action, and we have days when we absolutely know the right thing to do and everyone else is wrong. We have days when we just can’t get enough of each other and we have those other days too. I’m sure your family isn’t that different from mine. So what do we do when we don’t see eye to eye with each other?
Well, if your family is like mine, we sulk and we vent to our spouses or to anyone else that will lend a sympathetic ear. We refuse to talk to the guilty party for a couple of days. Then we kiss and make up and we’re one big happy family again. Well, we don’t literally kiss and make up but you get the idea. My family is such a central part of my world, I really can’t imagine a life without them. My extended family (parents, siblings, cousins, etc) is just as important to me as my own small family.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes known as the Mormon Church) values the “family.” Our theology and our lifestyles in the Church are Christ-centered and family-centered. “Mormons place particularly strong emphasis on family as the basic unit of the Church and of society…There is also much focus on extended family, genealogy, and personal family history, providing young and old with a stronger sense of roots, identity, and belonging. The highest and most sacred ordinances of our faith relate to our families, both living and dead, and some of these ordinances take place in our temples.” (Elder M. Russell Ballard, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles)
Adversity is everywhere. It’s in our homes and families. Adversity, even the most minor examples, can damage relationships and destroy families. How do we ensure that the adversities that we face on a regular basis in our families doesn’t lead to the destruction of these sacred relationships? I’m not talking about major trials and challenges. I’m referring to the simple every day occurrences that usually just annoy and irritate us. You know the kind of thing that can happen when someone says something that is completely innocent but taken the wrong way. Or when someone forgets to say something that should have been said or simply forgets (like a birthday). How do we stop such minor incidents from becoming full blown problems?
We do so by acknowledging that despite our differences and disagreements, we are all still part of a family. We apologize. We listen and we are listened to. We acknowledge the other point of view as valid and we expect that our point of view is acknowledged and respected as well. If we are lucky, we will also be counseled by a loving spouse or a dear friend who isn’t afraid to point out how childish the whole argument is. If we are extremely lucky, we’ll listen to the promptings of the Spirit and we will forgive the real or imagined slight and love the target of our wrath again.
Adversity can either break or strengthen us. It can do the same thing for a family. As part of Heavenly Father’s plan of redemption, all people experience adversity during their lifetime. Trials, disappointments, sadness, sickness, and heartache are a difficult part of life, but with the help of the Lord they can lead to spiritual growth, refinement, and progress.
Through adversity, we can come to know the Lord as never before. It is during times of adversity, whether they be great or small, that we need to strive especially hard to remember the teachings of our Savior and to do as He would have done. “As we experience adversity in our own lives, let us, like Job, remain steadfast in our faith. Like Paul, let us seek to develop Christlike traits through our suffering. Like the Savior, let us learn obedience and meekly submit to our Heavenly Father’s will.” (Elder Monte J Brough Of the Seventy)
I’m grateful for a Church that places such a strong emphasis on the value and importance of the family. I’m grateful that my Church teaches me all that it does about the importance of our relationships, not just with our immediate families, but with our extended families as well. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints helps me to put things in their proper perspective when it comes to families. It helps me to realize that despite all their flaws and imperfections, I love every person in this wonderful circle that is my extended family and I know they feel exactly the same about me!
